Heat Wave (The Naughty-Bits Kind)

by Scooter

Day 2, Part 1

Day 2 pt. 1

Things had gone downhill fast. The mares noticed the barricaded bar, prompting them to use a walleyed mare as a battering ram. The stallions had hoped that it would go unnoticed for a tad longer, but the crowd of horny mares (they were unicorns, you see) had come back for a second check through the establishments.

Now, mac was singlehoofedly (?) holding the door in place as Braeburn and Doctor Hooves held tables against the windows. A mind green hoof got through the window and began viciously pawing Braeburn in the general vicinity of his business parts, causing him to cry out in fear.

“What do we do?!” cried Braeburn.

The good doctor looked around quickly for a means of escape from his impending not-safe-for-foals activities. He looked towards the small staircase leading up to the second floor of the building, then to the door leading to the cellar of the bar. He made up his mind.

“Gentleponies, we need to go.”

Hooves suddenly bolted from the window down to the cellar, catching both Braeburn and Mac off guard. They both looked at each other. Mac turned his head to look at the source of the sound of shattering glass and splintering wood as a pristine white hoof bucked a hole right through the window frame that the doctor had been protecting. The hoof retracted and a white muzzle stuck through the gapping hole in the wall. “Give me your loins!” she screeched at them.

That solidified Mac's next action as he dropped the table from the door and followed after the doctor, leaping down the stairs. Braeburn stood stunned for a moment as the mares broke through the door.

“Eep!” yelped Braeburn as he tossed the small table at the mares, causing them to fall back. He galloped after the two, down the cellar stairs into the store room of the bar. Many barrels of cider and other alcoholic products lined the walls. He looked around frantically for his companions, them being nowhere to be seen. He cursed, but the naughty word was drowned out by the sudden appearance of Apple Bloom from an empty barrel, who shouted “Buy some apples!” before ducking back into her barrel, vanishing without a trace.

Terrified by the sound of the oncoming mares and confused by the sudden appearance and disappearance of his cousin, he decided to hide. Climbing into the barrel from whence Apple Bloom came, he grabbed the lid and put it onto the top of his hidey-hole, just in time as the mares descended the stairs, toppling over each other. They scattered, looking behind all the barrels and in every closet, never once thinking of searching inside the barrels.

“They aren't here!” one yelled.

“There!” one pointed a hoof at the open bulkhead leading outside from the basement. They all charged forward again, screaming. One mint green unicorn going so far as to stand on her hind legs, pointing and screeching like Donald Shet-er-land in 'Invasion of the Pony Snatchers'. They all exited the building in a violent manner, leaving Braeburn all alone in his barrel with his thoughts.

Sweet Celestia's salad bar, I'm all by mah self, he thought, they jus' left me here! Macintosh Apple, ya timberwolf faced son'va Diamon' dog! I'm all by mah lonesome, now. They'll 'member that ahm here an' come get me soon 'nough, jus' a matter'a time. Welp, best keep mah self occ-u-pied. Ah know! Howbouta joke? Ah love jokes. Le's see... ah got one. A stallion walks inta a bar. The bartender says “why the long face?” the stallion says, “the economy is rotten”! Golly, I sure do crack mah self up some times.

Elsewhere, Macintosh and Doctor Hooves were running at full speeds towards the library, knowing that the building was defended by magic, making it nearly impenetrable. Twilight Sparkle made it so after Rainbow Dash's excessive crashing through windows. It became known to Doctor Whooves after noticing that after every time the town got attacked, the tree would still be standing tall. Clearly, it was the work of magic. Magic, or a darn tough tree.

Mac hit the door face first, expecting to be able to charge straight into the library, but something was wrong. As Mac tried to walk off his new concussion, the doctor looked at the door. He stared at it for a few moments, trying to understand what the issue was. He reached down to the knob and found that it would not turn.

“Dear Celestia, we're locked out of the library!” The doctor cried.

“It's all over Mac, game over! GAME OVER MAC”

Mac looked at the three spinning Hooves-s. They galloped in circles, unsure of what to do. They had evaded the mares, but they would soon find them if they remained out in the open. Just as Hooves began to compose himself, the library door unlocked and swung open. A small purple and green dragon stood at the door.

“Sup?”

“Hello! I am the Doctor, this is my companion, Macintosh. We seek refuge in your library! Will you take us in?”

“huh?”

Macintosh stepped up to Spike. “Hey, Spike”

Spike smiled at Mac, “Hey, Mac, come on in, dude”

They all trotted inside, except for Spike, who more so waddled inside, closing the door behind him and locking it. They all sat around the table in the middle of the library on sofas, the one Mac sat on sagged violently under his weight. Spike brought some lemonade to the two stallions, who quickly drank them.

“Awesome you guys came over, I am so bored, Twilight said I can't let anybody into the library, not even her! But I can trust you, Mac.”

Mac nodded his head in agreement, “Eeyup!”

“So, any idea why everypony is acting all crazy?” Spike asked, clearly being too young to understand heat and sexual desires, Hooves thought.

Mac shook his head, “Heat,” he said.

Hooves sighed, knowing he would have to explain heat to Spike, and with it everything else to do with sexual reproduction. Also, possibly some laws put in place by Celestia, clearing a mare of any charges of unruly sexual conduct while they are in heat.

Spike went pale, “Sweet gems and the river Thames, I gotta get out of here!”

Hooves felt very confused. “Wait just a moment, young drake. You are aware of what heat is?”

“Of course! Twilight thinks I don't know about those magazines she keeps under her bed, but I do!”

Mac and Hooves shared a concerned look over Spike being exposed to the reading material of a lonely nerd.

“Well,” Hooves deciding to move the conversation forward, “that is why we are here, we need a place to 'lay low', as it were. Would it be acceptable if we were to do that? The three of us would be out of the way completely!” Hooves finished his request with a big smile. Mac was no longer listening to Hooves, as he was busy looking around for Braeburn. Mac came to a horrible realization. He tapped Hooves on the shoulder.

“Ey? What, Mac?”

“Uh... Where's mah cousin?

Hooves looked at him for a moment, then blanched. He looked towards the door, “Well,” he said shakily, “that sure chaffs my wheat. Better luck next time for him, ey?” He chuckled nervously. Mac looked at him flatly.

“We gotta go get'm,” He said firmly.

Hooves laughed at the ludicrous statement, “We can't go back out there!”

“We gotta go get'm,” He said again.

“Mac, we can not leave this building. Tree.”

Mac looked at him, somehow even flatter than before, “We. Gotta. Go. Get'm.”

“MAC. It is too late for him, but it isn't for us! We can be okay! We won't walk away from this with chaffing crotches! Braeburn is done for, mate. They are probably buggering the Bojangles out of him as we speak! And you want to just canter on into the manticore's den!? Mac, I like you. I like Braeburn, too. I am only thinking in our best interest, Mac. There are other stallions in town, too. If we start saving anybody who falls behind, then we'll be going out under cover of darkness and saving EVERY stallion!”

Mac's eyes lit up with inspiration as he stood from the sofa, it groaning in relief. He marched over to the door. He looked at Hooves, dead in the eye.

“Tha's exactly what we gonna do.”

Hooves's face dropped. He couldn't be serious. Spike jumped up from his seat and ran over to Mac.

“Yeah! Let's do it!”

Spike looked over to Hooves, “You coming, dude? Or am I gonna have to kick you outta my tree?”

Hooves looked at Spike, knowing he had no other options, he picked himself up from his seat and plodded over to the dragon and pony. Head hanging low, he conceded.

“Let's go then, shall we?”

Comments

[Sketchy-O]

We're in for an adventure.

[Gustauve]

Daw - Spike really trusts Mac! Macintosh; Big Brother to all those who would wish for one. Also - No Man Left Behind!

[olivetho]

A stallion walks inta a bar. The bartender says “why the long face?” the stallion says, “the economy is rotten”! Golly, I sure do crack mah self up some times.

i had only one thought at the moment: what?
it's not comedy gold, it's a decaying shiny tree sap covered rotten mango too disgusting even for a fly that someone threw into the trash, hoping to never see it again, yeah it's that detailed.