A Primer on Magic

by SuperTaster

Chapter 2: Donuts

The sun was shining, which seemed odd to Sam. Luna was supposedly a ‘Night Princess’, so her being awake during the day didn’t sit right. Still, perhaps her case was special? She didn’t think that aliens would be a common occurrence, even if she had issues thinking of herself as an ‘alien’ here.

In any case, Canterlot was a comfortable place, if one could get over the hordes of ponies prowling about. There seemed to be three types, with the unicorns displaying overt magic, the pegasi displaying flight despite their build, and the earth ponies that seemed predisposed to some sort of supernatural strength. She assumed that it was some sort of mutual ability to move things around via magic: the unicorns moving other things, pegasi shoving themselves around, and earth ponies making their muscles fire harder. Sam thought to ask Twilight about this theory, but it was hard to change topics when she had so many questions. Now that he lacked the bloodstains that were so fashionable earlier, all pretense of being ‘polite’ and ‘reserved’ fell by the wayside. Science!

“You’re sure you’re taking this well?”

“Well, I’ll probably find myself in the corner sobbing and screaming about ponies in a week, but for now, it hasn’t managed to settle in too hard.” She was, after all, a chronicler of an alien world. One must not be overcome with feelings of weepy nostalgia when magic was on display.

“That’s good. So… what’s your world like?” Time spent beating around the bush was time spent not learning about humans. “There’s no magic, right?”

“Well, we understand the concept. It’s more of a fiction to us, though.”

“How does that even work?”

“Carefully? There’s a lot more focus on technology from what I can see. When lacking one method, find another.”

“Oh dear. Are we primitives?” Twilight did not want to be a primitive. This was an invitation to all sorts of bad clichés.

“Not in the sense of being ignorant. You’re scientific, just not as far along. I did see a train when I came in.”

“Yeah, we came up with the idea about 100 years back. Fire crystals on water make steam pressure to drive a crankshaft. Pretty simple.”

“We use a bit more natural fire for it, but yeah, a train’s a train.”

“Wait. So your trains have proper fire in them? Like, just raging? How is that safe?”

“Your way sounds cleaner, mind, but it’s all contained. Our trains are all metal to compensate. And with generations of improvement, the engines get much safer and proper.”

The conversation was interrupted by a scream of “Twilight!” from above. A rainbow streak of light was swooshing across the sky, and veering horribly close to… AAAHHH! A blue Pegasus with a rainbow mane swooped right onto the street at speeds that could not be considered within the limit. She did not seem to care much for the traffic laws, whatever they were, and her ability to hover and moonwalk about seemed to be reinforcing Sam’s theory about the telekinesis. The wings, she surmised, were just for balance and control, as this pony seemed capable of flying in any direction she chose.

“Oh! Rainbow Dash. I didn’t think you’d be in.”

“Well, I did have to help deliver stuff to Fluttershy. Something about a box? What was so important about a cardboard box?”

“…I didn’t realize she was being so literal about it. Discord was… disagreeable.”

“Oh. Him. Why do we keep him around again?”

“I haven’t the slightest idea. Fluttershy can give you a friendship speech to make you reconsider if you wish.”

“I’ll pass. And hey! Who’s the new cat? You’ve been hiding people from me again.” Dash floated up in Sam’s face, to appraise the sphinx more closely.

“I’m Sam.”

“Weird name. I’m Rainbow Dash. Where’ you from?”

Twilight and Sam exchanged looks. “That is a very loaded question. Why don’t we just say hi?”

Rainbow had learned about these sorts of antics by now, but they still filled her with a sense of turbulence. “This is one of those weird egghead things, isn’t it.”

“Well… yes. One of these days you’ll have to stop rejecting knowledge out of hand.”

“Only after you stop skipping flying lessons. You’ll help her with that, won’t you?” Sam looked at Twilight, who seemed to be in a state of terror.
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“She needs to take it gently. Ease into it.”

“Fast, Fluttershy! Fast! Remember flight camp?”

“Idon’twannarememberflightcamp! There were scary ponies, and harsh teachers, and…”

“Relax! She’ll be fine! Cmon, Twilight, I’m the best flyer in Equestria. I can teach you so easy. Cmon!”
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In retrospect, it was probably not a good idea to practice flying on the roof of the Canterlot Glass Blowing Station. “Mistakes were made!” Twilight shouted. “We’re not doing that again.” Sam was more than willing to go with her on this. If Twilight did not know how to fly, then Sam was clearly not in a position to help her learn.

“They got the shop fixed eventually. You’re just nervous!”

“I plowed through a stained glass window, Dash. That does not bode well for future endeavors.”

“You’ve gotten all the pain out early, so the rest’ll be a snap!” Is this what athletes told themselves to keep their sanity?

Sam piped up. “Are all pegasi like this?” Poor choice of words. Rainbow Dash shot a look at her, and proceeded to flap all in her personal space.

“How have you never seen a pegasus before? Spy! Spy!”

“Yes. I am a spy. Now would you care to show me around, so that I can learn all about your fine country?”

“Rainbow Dash.” Twilight was not in the mood for spy-hunting antics. “Sam is a guest at the castle, while we work on… fixing things.”

“What broke?”

Sam sighed. “Everything.”

“Discord did it. Does that explain enough?”

“Ah. That’s why you needed the box.” Rainbow moonwalked over Sam, eyeballing her carefully. “So… you’re not from anywhere around here.”

“That’s a good way to sum it up, yes. And your planet is odd.”

“Wait, your planet? …You’re an alien! That’s so cool. How far away ARE you from?”

Twilight had to interject, to prevent horrible sci-fi images from taking hold. “Technically speaking, she’s from around here, just a different here. Egghead stuff, remember?”

“You’re making less sense than usual, Twi.”

“Thanks. I try.”
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The tour continued, though Rainbow Dash had to excuse herself to make sure Fluttershy hadn’t failed in her duty of containing her charge. One could never be too careful where deranged godlings were concerned. Currently they were at a bakery (a donut stand by any other name), whereupon Sam was making sure not to mind the similarities between Equestrian pastries and Earth’s. Some things are better to just enjoy.

“So, Princess Celestia should be back later today, at which point we can start probing Discord on the particulars of the summoning spell.”

“Goodness. How many princesses are there?” Sam half expected there to be a Donut Princess at the corner bakery they were eating at, though one had yet to materialize.

“Well, in Canterlot there’s generally just us three. Celestia runs Equestria: PR meetings, head of state affairs, and so forth. Luna is in the background, lots of paperwork. She spends more time with her abacus than with actual subjects. Don’t mock the abacus, by the way. She’s… possessive.”

Well, everyone needed their little quirks. Even the deities. “I see. And you?”

“Well, I do lots of magical research. Get curriculums ready for teaching the little foals all about magic.”

“You’re teaching them to warp reality to their will. Unwise much?”

“But it’s EXCITING! See see, okay. Magic!” She did not see. But for the sake of letting Twilight vibrate and wiggle with excitement, she would give at least a veneer of seeing. “Magic works as a kind of energy, which is mainly focused around connections and concepts. It’s everywhere! And if it’s everywhere, and all connected, you can do neat stuff with it.” Twilight demonstrated by levitating a donut into her mouth. “By applying energy to the location concept of the donut, I can move it around!”

“So it’s not really action at a distance, because you’re connected to the thing.” Oh goodness. Twilight did literally glow at this, and began hopping up and down like a cooking bucket of popcorn. Great for the concession stand atmosphere, not so much for the tranquil afternoon feeling.

“Yes! Yesyesyes. Oh, you have no idea how few ponies actually know about that! This is so cool.” She finally had a prize student, even if it was an alien spy. Already, plans were being made. She would take Sam, and put her in a little box, and teach her Everything. Twice, just to make sure. Sam, for her part, unconsciously slid further and further towards the comfort of her donut. It did not judge, unlike the star-struck princess.

“Right… so how does that tie into me being fluffy everywhere? You have no idea how weird this is.”

“Well, concepts! See, if you’re a sphinx, that means you have a sphinx concept attached to you. There’s qualifiers on top of that, like ‘has two wings’ and ‘brown hair’ and so forth, but they all come together to make a general definition of what you are. I can apply energy to those concepts and move them around. Change variables in how those wings are defined, add more of them, et cetera.”

“And it works in the same way as moving the donut?”

“Not really. You have to have an innate grasp of the concept in mind. It takes a while to learn how to deal with new concepts, but ponies generally have one that they really connect with. See?” She was gesturing towards the odd stars symbol on her flank.

“I was wondering what those were for. That’s… an actual magical thing? Not just decoration?”

“Exactly! Every pony, upon connecting with their first concept, gets a visual representation of that concept. We call it a cutie mark, because clearly the lexiconographer was a foalsitter or something cutesy like that. Either way, it shows what magically you’re good at dealing with.” She devoured another donut, replenishing her ability to ramble about Science. “Now, any pony can use magic in regards to location, because it’s not technically a concept, just a way of defining the object in question. I’m a pony, my location is here, and my concept is pony, among other qualifiers.”

“Got it. So what sort of talent is stars?”

“It’s not a star talent. This is the symbol for magic. In my case, I can easily channel the concept of magical energy outright.”

“So you hit the jackpot, basically.”

“Well, it does make learning new concepts a lot easier, since they’re all related to magic tangentially. It’s a lot harder to control, though, because trying to channel the concept of magic means I’m channeling energy as well, so I have to modify spells to deal with the added materials or they explode.” She stared wistfully at the sky, and Sam understood more than she wanted too. Twilight had lost many a good scientific tool to experimental explosions. Rest in peace, warriors of progress.

“But! We can make this work. We just need to get the concept Discord used of your home, and use that as the destination.”

“You’ll understand if I’m concerned we’re… skipping a step.” Sam did a little waving motion with her wings, which was far more natural than she wanted it to be. Muscle memory, while convenient, was creepy.

“Well, one thing at a time. We need a magical concept of a human, and since we don’t have any to compare to, it’d be better to get some way to study them so that we can do things properly. And to be honest, I’ve never really considered polymorphing spells on that level. But, it shouldn’t be too hard to work it in the fashion that the Equestrian magical field performed on you. References and such.”

“…you just want to take a closer look at Earth, don’t you.”

“Yes! Wait…. I, maybe? It would be enlightening. We’d have so much to teach each other!”

“I’m not entirely sure they’re ready for sphinxes and talking ponies, Twilight. That’s a bit far out for them. Perhaps we can get things sorted out, THEN discuss matters?”

“Fine, fine. You have my word, we’ll get things fixed before we start trying anything new. It’ll all work out!” Her declaration was brave, bold, and passionate, which is most likely why it was immediately proven false by the rapid channeling of magical energies. Sam had a brief feeling of being picked up by the donut next to her and shoved into a space between spaces. This was an odd feeling of oneness with the universe that was not even remotely what the hippies suggested would be involved with enlightenment. Twilight shouted at Sam, but it was all too soon before the sphinx ended upside down on a grassy hill, looking up at a plane flying haphazardly overhead. A t-shirt dangled from a tree, proudly declaring itself to be MADE WITH VITAMIN C.

“This has not been a good week.”
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The suburbs were roughly as Sam had left them, though they were up a sphinx, and she was roughly the distance away from the Canterlot statue garden in terms of her current locale. A general feeling of sleepy mid-autumn grassiness filled the air, amid the smell of cars and unwashed laundry. At least she was on the ground, which was not a given based on the height difference between the two towns. Still, this was no place for a sphinx, and there would soon be terrible troubles.

Why had she come back? The little voice in Sam’s head kept blankly repeating ‘Not Enough Information’, and demanding that Sam find more donuts. Priorities, voice. Things were unacceptable here, and only proper sleuthing could solve it.

“Sir! Something came out! It’s over here!”

Ah, good. That was faster than expected. This was the part of the show where the womenfolk screamed and covered their babies’ eyes from the terrible, terrible beast. At least they were going according to protocol, and already had the humans in tactical gear out. Whatever sort of portals Discord had been opening, they were clearly messy, and had been attracting attention.

Sam, for her part, wanted none of the violence usually associated with this part of the monster movie. She calmly raised her paws up in the air, as a gesture of friendship. The soldiers however, not used to this sort of creature, interpreted it more as a “Rawr! I’m coming for you!” sort of pose, and promptly fired some sort of sharp stinging pain into Sam’s neck.

“Rude.” she managed to utter before slumping over in a heap.

Comments

[thesilentpony]

interesting story!

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