Dr. Sauce's Equestrian adventures

by DrSauceBritishMedic

Chapter 2: A 'Dashing' spot of luck and trans-dimensional luggage.

"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee, ze medic is flying faster zan anyziiiiiiiiiiiing!"

From the eyes of any spectator, Dr. Sauce would have been invisible, completely undetectable by the naked eye. However, due to his own consciousness being part of the cloud of double light speed particles, we can view his travel from his perspective.

“This is the strangest sensation I have ever come across,” Sauce said to himself, smiling lightly as he did so. “It is like there is energy flowing around all of my blood vessels, it is ticklish and it feels to be bouncing around inside me!”
To put a fine point on it, we’d need to detail ‘Saucy physics’. Firstly, we’ll cover the basics, the common question being “What the hell is Saucy physics and why should I care?”

Well, Saucy physics are the rules that encompass doctor Sauce in his entirety, these rules judge what, when, where, why and how something happens to him. In essence, this means that anything can happen at any point in time regardless of the sense it makes or how many of the actual laws of physics it may break in the process, or more interestingly, in their entirety. There have even been rumours of 4th wall breaking abilities, although none have come to light. However, Saucy physics can be as useful to the doctor as it is a complete disaster, seeing as it employs "Sods law" as well as the "Luck o' the Irish."

He saw a purplish rift opening up in front of him, the warm glow seemed... friendly, welcoming and strangely loving. As he felt himself losing energy and re-solidifying, he was slipping through the portal, his medi-pack flashed as a backpack appeared on-top of it, his items appeared to be more cartoon-like than usual.

He was at his destination, however, not everything seemed right. An Eagle flew past him, looking at the majestic creature curiously, he wondered what he was even standing on. Upon looking down, it was clear that nothing was supporting his weight, he was just... hovering.

Suddenly, gravity realised his existence, he started to feel the pull, then without so much as a kiss goodbye, he was already falling down to the solid ground below him. Flailing his arms in panic, he knew not if his regenerative abilities from his universe would apply in this new universe. Before he could yell for help, he hit the ground, knocked out.

"...so Spike, it is of utmost importance that we discover the reasons why these magical disturbances have been happening."

This voice belonged to a Purple pony, one by the name of Twilight Sparkle, her scaly companion Spike at her side. She looked over to see the strange... whatever it was, out cold on the ground, whatever it was wearing. Broken shards of black glass, a splayed out fur lined lab-coat and a broken pipe which looked to be made of pure gold lay strewn around a moderately sized impact crater for a being of its size.

"Spike, look at this. LOOK! Some kind of creature... we'd best get this... thing... to Celestia, whatever it is, she will know!" Spike huffed, then asked "So, you might want to send a letter to Celestia first, letting her know that it has just landed in the middle of Ponyville and you're going to transport it to her castle. I'm sure she doesn't mind your company, it's just I'm not sure she appreciated the LAST time you burst in unannounced and you saw her eating a large quantity of cake."

Twilight's ears flopped down, "Oh, don't remind me Spike, she said that she had stomach ache after cramming it all in just so she wasn't occupied, she could have just saved it for later." He removed a scroll from a bag he was carrying, along with an ink-pot and quill. Twilight surrounded the objects in her magical aura, hastily scribbled a note, then without a word, gave it to Spike, who sent it off in a whoosh of green flame.

"If we can catch the Canterlot Express, we'll get there in less than 3 minutes, I can't wait to show Celestia!" said Twilight excitedly. "Yeah, for all I know, I could sit there and listen to you talk to Celestia, I'm really excited," said Spike in a rather sarcastic tone. Twilight scowled, then said "Well, you can either come with me, or you can help the Cutie Mark Crusaders earn their cutiemarks today." "NO NO NO, I'll come with you!" came his reply, looking rather panic struck by the idea of what chaos could ensue if he even bothered getting involved in those antics.

[At this point, there is one awkward train ride, where the unconscious body of the doctor is hauled onto a train and placed onto a seat. All the other riders glare at Twilight and gawk at the creature, never having seen a Human before. He occupied one entire train seat to himself, laying flat on his back opposite Twilight and Spike.]

Once they had arrived at the station, Twilight placed the creature upon her back, he slumped against the back of her neck, his head resting atop hers. His arms dangled down past her neck, she casually sighed as she trotted slowly toward Canterlot castle.

Opening the grand gilded doors with magic, the castles polished marble floors reflected Twilight and the mysterious creature riding her back. Spike was following just behind, surveying the scene and making sure that any ponies who got too close to them were quickly shuffled away.

Upon reaching the throne, she gazed upon the marble white alicorn princess herself, Celestia. Giving a small courteous bow, despite her own position as a princess and an alicorn, Twilight smiled at the princess, who looked at the beast upon her back.

Celestia's immediate reaction was shock. "For nine hundred and fifty years, no recorded history of..." she broke off "...but we had assumed they'd all died out, so how did this one manage to survive?" This sentence alone was enough to peak Twilight's curiosity to the point of explosion, "So what is it exactly?!" she erupted, spewing the sentence from her mouth without a seconds pause.

"This, my faithful student, is a race I had thought died out a long time ago, this is a Human being, by the looks of things, much more modern and in touch with pony society than the last time." Celestia paused, took a breath, then sighed as she spoke, "This human in particular could be more dangerous or more helpful to us in his. Yes, his, current standing, the risk is he could know anything, say anything or do anything a human could do. Which is more worrying, but at the same time, more reassuring than any news I have ever received."

Twilight asked "So, where is he going for now?", she replied "To one of the royal guest rooms, if he is to be placed anywhere, he should at least wake in a more favourable environment. At least he may listen to reason if he wakes in a more comfortable place with no restraints. However, if he wakes too early and proves to be a danger, then I give you permission to restrain him by any means."

Twilight nodded, proceeding to the royal guest's room, Spike shadowing her. Celestia informed a guard-pony and a maid-pony to follow Twilight, as well as providing her with anything she may need. She had quickly made her way up to the door of the guest room, making no delay, then something had occurred to her companion. "Hey... uh, Twi, so why exactly did you not use magic to just teleport this... human... right to Canterlot?"

Twilight looked to Spike as she opened the door with her horn, "It's because I'm not sure if magic would have a bad affect on him, or the adverse effects that may show later due to that affect." He scratched his head at her reply, "So, basically, you didn't want to hurt him or mutate him with magic when using it and after using it?"

"Spike, magic can't mutate, or I hope that if it can, that those books are locked away in a very safe place where no-pony like Trixie could get them. I know she has changed for the better, but I can't help but remain sceptical about her learning powerful magic. I am aware that Trixie was able to use an ageing spell with that amulet, so technically it was mutating, but at the same time it was actually accelerating their life!"

Twilight continued as she opened the door, "Anyway, I am sure that the books that do DANGEROUS mutations are locked away and closely guarded. So that's all I need to say in relevance to that question, Spike." He looked at her, slightly taken aback, "Woah, Twi, I was just asking, there's no need to be so defensive, it's not as if it's entirely crucial that any of this happened. Right?"

Silence, as Twilight opened the door, Spike couldn't help but gather the feeling he had asked the wrong question. Nevertheless, he said "Uh, right, Twi?" She slammed the door and placed the creature upon the guest's bed, which was next to an open balcony door. "Spike, did you not hear Celestia? Nine hundred and fifty years ago! This being could have potential knowledges that we don't, he could build things we are incapable of, bring Ponyville to a whole new age, all just by existing here, let alone doing anything!"

"So yes Spike, he could be a threat to Ponyville aswell, only seeking to destroy this world and its inhabitants!" As Twilight finished her rant, the light blue pony known as Rainbow Dash flew onto the balcony, having heard the yelling. "Hey Twilight," she said, "You know, you really need to calm down with the whole 'Celestia's going to kill me if I don't...' thing, I'm sure she's not going to over task you, especially seeing as you're a princess now."

Twilight sighed "Hey Rainbow, yes I know that, but still, have you seen him?" she said, gesturing over to the unconscious human. "Whoa, that's... AWESOME! What is he? Can he fly? Can he do magic? Can he do magic and fly?!" Twilight shook her head "No, Rainbow, I don't think he can do anything in his current state, his body looks to be in shock, we'll just have to wait until he recovers to answe-"

At that very precise moment, an obscenely large bag appeared with a flash of red, bulging with items, a label on it said "From: Dell, To: Dr. E. Sauce." Twilight inspected the baggage, "Where?... But wh-. Wait, he's a doctor? Wow, I just thought that he was quite simple, there's more layers to this than I originally inspected."

Rainbow Dash looked at the bag, "Hey, I saw a red flash like that earlier, it was in space. Then there was a TRIPLE SONIC RAIN-BOOM that was way too high up to affect anypony! But the only time I've ever seen a anything more than a sonic rain-boom is during that one incident where there was that talent enhancing potion and travelling to the other universe."

Twilight shook her head, "Oh don't remind me, you know Pinky is still going on about how she saw everything, now she goes on about a '4th wall' that supposedly exists, where apparently there are things on the other side, either pointlessly reading text or watching a 'screen'. That is, if anypony will listen to her when she talks about it, although I thought the potions effects would wear off by now."

"Didn't she also give a name once? Lauren Faust I think it was? Never met a pony by the name of Lauren Faust, ever," Rainbow said in reply to Twilight. "Neither have I Rainbow, but now's not the time, if this human is a doctor, then we must discover his secrets, as soon as ponily possible!"

"Nyaaagh, ugh, dummkopfs... ze doctor should never have trusted zem." said Sauce, finally rousing himself, his broken glasses fell off his face. As he looked around, not being able to see very well without his glasses, he looked at the purplish blob in-front of him. "Excuse me sir or madame, I can't see very well, would you mind fetching me my large leather bag? Dell should have sent it here by now."

Twilight wordlessly passed him the bag, "Ja, danke friend!" he said smiling to himself, rummaging through the bag to replace his broken nine-pipe and glasses. Upon finding a replacement, he placed the pipe in his mouth, then placed on his glasses. He closed the bag, then looked up to see the purple pony looking at him with a great sense of curiosity on her face.

"OOOH! Aren't you just ze cutest zing ever! Oh, but vhy vould a luxury suite like zis have animals inside it?" he said as he looked at Twilight, lightly grabbing her and lifting her up off of her hooves.

"AH! PUT ME DOWN PLEASE!" Twilight yelped, then sauce looked surprised at her as he raised an eyebrow and his jaw lightly dropped. "Uh, if zis is a joke, or some dream vhere ponies talk, I'm not sure I vant to be part anymore, so WAKE ZE DOCTOR UP!"

"It's not a joke, doc." said Rainbow Dash, looking up at him "Could you also put her down?" Sauce placed Twilight back onto her hooves, then laughed, as he fell back onto the bed. He laughed quite manically, then took a deep breath and stopped laughing.

"So, let me get this straight" he said, going to a calm British accent, "My device, the one I built to travel to any of the trillions of existing universes, has brought me to a world with talking Equine mammals? Oh but of course it has, hasn't it Ethulwulf, you thought you could cut corners, but no, it's brought you here, into the middle of some kind of world you'd only visit on drugs!"

He got up and began pacing, "It seems the great Doctor Ethulwulf Sauce has screwed himself over yet again, only this time, it's IRREVERSEABLE!" Twilight and Rainbow Dash looked at eachother, Rainbow mouthed "What the?..." Twilight shrugged, then paid attention to everything that Sauce said, hanging onto every detail as if it were crucial.

"Doctor Ethulwulf Sauce... what a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I haven't seen your kind in over nine hundred and fifty years." Sauce looked over to his addressee, Celestia and Luna whom were both stood in the doorway. "I am princess Celestia, this is my sister Luna, we welcome you to the kingdom of Equestria."

It was Luna's turn to speak, "Celestia has spoke to me many words of concern, I must know human, are you friend or foe?"

Sauce looked concerned, whatever he said next decided his fate...

[End of chapter 2]

Comments

[AhugeAcidTree]

I like this story so far. I shall await your next installment Dr. Sauce.