My Little Pony: Amor Esta Magica

by WarThunderBrony

Reason for the Treason

Rehearsing an apology speech to one’s worst enemy is really exactly like revising for a very important exam.

That’s exactly how I felt after I walked into Don Francisco’s ward. But I knew that I had to do it; for just outside the window, I saw Flash Sentry and Derpy looking at me, with smiles that seemed to be saying, “Go for it pally, you can do it.”

I took a deep breath. “Don Francisco,” I said, “I am truly sorry for having done what I did the other day. I admit it was sheer recklessness and loss of self-control on my part. But now, after…. I was counselled, I do realise my error. I hope you can forgive and understand me.”

Rosalinda walked into the ward and looked at me. She didn’t look very happy; nevertheless something in my spirit man told me that she bore me no malice.

“Muy bien. I will let you off this one time,” said Don Francisco. “I will pretend I never knew you. Now kindly go, por favor.”

I knew that it was ultimately the respect of Don Francisco that I wanted to earn; so I just walked away, with lots of thoughts racing through my mind. Outside the hospital, I met Flash Sentry and Derpy.

“Hey,” said Derpy, “how did it go?”

I tried to open my mouth to speak, but the minute I did I felt faint and almost collapsed. Had it not been for the two kind pegasi who jumped in and licked me, I would have passed out on the spot.

“Hey!” cried Flash Sentry, “you ok or not??”

“I’m fine, thanks,” I gasped as I clung onto Flash Sentry’s firm-muscled body with one hand and to the hospital wall with another. Within a few minutes I was finally able to regain my composure and stand up again.

“It’s the effect of the Nightmare Poison,” said Derpy.

“Caramba! Does this mean I’m …” I began.

“Don’t worry, Braeburn and his team have set off for Syldavia to find the antidote pill,” said Flash Sentry. “They should be returning soon. Just hang in there.”

“Tell you what, just hop on my back,” said Derpy; “I’ll carry you to a safe place in the forests of Chaco. Some fresh air and greenery would soften the Nightmare Poison symptoms a little.”

“I’ll come with you,” added Flash Sentry.

I hopped on Derpy’s back and clung on to all my energy reserves, as she carried me to the countryside again, with Flash Sentry right behind us.

“Rainbow Dash has gone to Syldavia,” said Derpy, “to find the antidote for your Nightmare Poison.”

“And she took five other ponies with her to find it,” added Flash Sentry.

“Wait! That’s where we should go!” I cried. “We must go and join them there and see if the antidote is with Lisa Dbrnouk!”

“And not only that,” said Derpy, “we’ll go get Dr Whooves, so that he can finalise his research over there!”

And that’s what we did; using the portal, we went to the clinic in Equestria to fetch Dr Whooves, and from thence we went to the Passionless Valley in Syldavia — the whole journey took us roughly 14 hours.

“This is a good place,” said Dr Whooves. “I’ll continue my research from here. Derpy, you stay with me. Alberto and Flash Sentry, go to Dbrnouk Manor and make sure that our other friends are in good hands….”

* * *

RAINBOW DASH: I’d been observing Lisa Dbrnouk all night long and was finding her behaviour a little suspicious. She was sitting there, gaping at the weird sight before her eyes, her own father flirting with the wicked witch Natalia Cuartas; but Lisa didn’t intervene. Nor did either of them.

Suddenly I saw Lisa taking some stinging nettles from nearby plants and inflicting herself with them till she was bloody all over!! Then I saw her getting up and running — the opposite direction, straight to her home!! I picked up my walkie-talkie and radioed to Braeburn. “Lisa Dbrnouk suddenly pricked herself with stinging nettles and then turned back home,” I said. “She might have gone mad because of what she overheard just now. I’ll follow her incognito. Send, over.”

“Send, over,” came Braeburn’s voice over the receiver.

I flew in the air, trying to make sure Lisa didn’t see me. Then as she barged through her door, I heard her crying out: “Mama! Mama! I’ve been…… poisoned with Nightmare Poison!”

“WHAT?!” came the voice of Edna Jorgen from within. “WHAT HAPPENED?!!”

“It was…. Papa….” said Lisa Dbrnouk, clearly crying crocodile tears. I then realised it all — Lisa Dbrnouk had intended to fake being poisoned so as to avoid her father’s trap, and also to save Alberto from certain death!!

I flew closer to the house to get a better look, and saw a most interesting sight.

“YOU STILL CALL HIM ‘PAPA’??” Edna Jorgen was screaming. “WHAT DID THAT RAT DO THIS TIME?!!”

“He…. he…” sobbed Lisa, clearly unsure of what to say. “He…. and this beautiful Spanish lady…. were in the Heartbreak Hills, secretly talking…… I hid behind them…… with my friends, your friends, the ponies; we were listening to what they were saying……

“Stop crying!” ordered Edna Jorgen. “What were they saying??”

“Ahem,” said Lisa. “About something…. to do with…… God bringing them together….. they were …… cursing you, Mama….. calling you a ‘slut’ among other names….. I almost passed out when I heard that…… then….”

“Then WHAT?!” screamed Edna Jorgen. “Tell me quickly!”

“I …. lost my balance…. and fell,” went on Lisa, “….. and they saw me…… and that lady…… that other woman….. she pushed me …. right into these Nightmare Poison plants……”

“YOU’RE LYING!!!” screeched Edna Jorgen. “BETTER TELL ME THE TRUTH OR I SWEAR BY THE HOLY MOTHER OF CHRIST THAT I WILL SKIN YOU ALIVE!!!”

“Mama! I would never lie to you!” sobbed Lisa. “Behold these! Are these not…. Nightmare Plants?” She took out some of the stinging nettles from her clothes to show the old lady. This just confirmed my suspicions: She WAS doing this to get the antidote to save the life of Alberto after all!!

But what was going to happen next was even more unexpected.

“Elisabeth Marie Dbrnouk, do not forget that I am your mama!” shouted Edna Jorgen. “I know you are inclined to lie; you have been that way since you were a girl! You think I don’t know is it?!”

“Mama, I….. yes, you have a point, I lied!” cried Lisa. “Actually….. it was Papa who pushed me into the Nightmare Poison plants!”

I was recording this down from where I was — outside Dbrnouk Manor, listening intently and not even daring to yawn.

“He was saying,” Lisa continued, “that I was supporting you…..helping you ….. opposing him….. saying I ‘only want Mama and not Papa’; and so…. he was persistent in getting the love affections of that other woman….”

From the look on Edna Jorgen’s face on hearing her own daughter saying those very words, I could tell that Edna Jorgen was even more mad, much more than ever before.

“Lisa, darling, do not worry,” said Edna Jorgen in a low and quiet but angry voice. “Let Mama take care of that scum for you, and see to it that he gets what he rightly deserves!!”

“But Mama, I really won’t live that long!” cried Lisa. “I’m already infected with Nightmare Poison!!”

“Don’t worry, don’t worry!” said Edna Jorgen. “Over here I still have half a pill of antidote; it’s a good thing I never gave it to that scum of a lad — what was his name now — Alberto Garcia!”

On hearing those words from Edna Jorgen, I suddenly had a nasty feeling welling up inside my abdomen. Was Edna Jorgen against our friend Alberto, no, seriously?? I mean, what did she have against him?? I remember Flash Sentry telling me that he and Derpy and the two samba unicorns had aided in Alberto’s rescue of Edna Jorgen from the pit in this very valley, the pit where she had been locked up for so many years…..

I immediately radioed to Braeburn. “Quick! Emergency! Get them all ready! Come to Dbrnouk Manor immediately! Send, over!”

“Send, over!” came Braeburn’s voice over the receiver.

Within a couple of minutes, Braeburn, Big McIntosh, Thunderlane, Snips, and Snails came running over. “What’s up?” called Thunderlane.

“Psst! Not so loud!” I said. “Just look and listen; don’t intervene until I give the signal!”

The others nodded in agreement. We continued observing Edna Jorgen and Lisa Dbrnouk, and listening in to their conversation.

“After you’ve taken the antidote,” said Edna Jorgen, “even though it may not completely cure you, just stay here with Mama, let me care for you, and no smelly male out there will dare to so much as lay a finger on you. Oh yes, what about that scum and that woman? Where are they?”

“I climbed out of the Nightmare poison plants,” said Lisa, “but didn’t bother to look behind me…. I’m guessing they’re still there.”

“Ah! Ah!” laughed Edna Jorgen. “If that scum has got guts, he’d better come back and face me! Most of the workers here are his employees, hired by him, not me; and so they’ve been loyal to him all this while! They’d never dare to oppose him! As for me, my arms are weak, and my legs are broken, all I can do is sit here on this sedan chair and wait for someone or somepony to carry me around; and my only means of defense is my date-spitting! It may be pretty strong, yes, but what if that scum proves to be stronger than I thought?! Welp….. let’s go! We’ll go and get the half-antidote pill now!”

The attendants came into the room and prepared to carry the sedan chair with Edna Jorgen on it. Lisa, the obedient and subservient daughter that she was, prepared to make off behind her mother.

“Now!” I whispered to my five fellow ponies.

“POWER PONIES!!!” we all yelled as we broke the glass of the manor and burst right into its hall.

“So! Where is the antidote pill?!” I demanded, pointing a revolver at Edna Jorgen.

Edna Jorgen remembered us. “Other than Rainbow Dash and the two kind unicorn colts,” she ordered, “the rest of you whom I don’t know well, may hit the road now!”

“Just go and wait outside! We’ll come to you later!” I whispered to Braeburn, Big Mac, and Thunderlane; the three of them slowly walked outside. Then I turned back to face the old biped lady on the sedan chair.

“Madam Jorgen! You are nothing but all talk and no substance!” I mocked her.

Edna Jorgen looked at me, clearly stung by her own guilty conscience.

“As far as we know,” I went on, “I do not in the least know what exactly happened to your oldest brother, the late Mr Edgard Jorgen; but I am pretty sure Don Bernardo León and his family have had NOTHING to do with it whatsoever! In fact they are right now pining over the deaths of two of their daughters!!

“But, Madam Jorgen, if you still do not believe what I’m saying, I’ll give you every bit of permission to shoot three dates at me in a row!”

Edna Jorgen’s face lit up; I saw an evil grin behind that smile of hers.

“Nevertheless,” I went on, “it does not matter whether I live or die after you spit those dates at me. Once you’ve done so, we expect you to hand over the antidote pill to save the life of our friend Alberto Garcia!

“If I die, don’t worry, you will still have these pony friends over here to help you out of the troubles you’re facing! And more of them also to play in your courtyards day in and day out! Will you accept this offer, or will you not?”

“Could anyone ever be so kind?” said Edna Jorgen, a little taken aback. “Rainbow Dash, you are one of the captains of the Wonderbolts. I think you had better think carefully about what you’ve just offered me. Even after I’ve spat three dates at you, you’re still going to remain calm, and not attack me?!”

“In order to help you vanquish the years of hatred in you,” I replied, “I bring to you the magic of friendship, not the magic of attack!”

“Ah! To think you are ACTUALLY willing to actually martyr yourself by taking three dates from me?! You are really one kind!” Edna Jorgen was very taken aback by my words.

“Allow me to remind you this, Edna Jorgen,” I said, now getting serious. “Your REAL rival — Wladimir Dbrnouk — will be going to come after you soon. What difference will it make if you kill me? Just hand over the antidote pill after you’ve done so; your rival will not be able to get it once it’s in our hands! And what’s more, Alberto and I are friends; I am willing to lay down my life for the sake of giving him this antidote pill!”

Edna Jorgen’s eyes welled up with tears for a second. I knew she was thinking about the time when Alberto had rescued her from the pit.

Then next thing we knew, her eyes were flaming with anger. “Hmph!” she cried. “You and your sweet talk! You and your buttery words! My intentions are clear; I will NOT change my stand! Come on then, take my three dates!”

I stood by. I knew it was coming any minute.

“PTUI!” The first date aimed at my abdomen. I blockaded it like a goalkeeper grabbing a ball.

“PTUI!” The second date aimed at my head. I deflected it by rolling aside.

“PTUI!” The third date hit me — right into my mouth!! I was choked for a second, but on my own, without Snips’s or Snails’s help, I finally spat it out. I was finally OK, but had lost a lot of energy in the process. My lip was also bleeding.

“Madam Jorgen, I’ve already taken your three dates, and I’m not sure how long more I’ve got,” I said to the old lady. “Please hand over your antidote pill!”

Edna Jorgen hesitated for a moment, deep in thought, then she finally spoke. “Rainbow Dash,” she said in a low voice, “you’ve taken three dates from me. And you are still somehow alive. I really admire your bravery and courage. Very well; I will hand over the antidote pill to you!”

Snails suddenly flared up. “IF RAINBOW DASH IS FATALLY WOUNDED, WE’LL HOLD YOU RESPONSIBLE!!” he yelled, about to run at Edna Jorgen with his horn.

“Snails! Behave yourself!” I scolded the young yellow unicorn. He immediately stepped back.

“Sorry about that, Madam Jorgen; he’s only a colt, don’t take his words for it,” I reassured Edna Jorgen. “I’ll help you fight your enemies. Just please give us the pill.”

“Then allow me to thank you first!” said Edna Jorgen. “Lisa, come here; look below you, the brick that you see on the floor, fifth brick nearest to me, pull it up!”

“So it’s there?!” gasped Lisa.

Needless to say, I too was also amazed. Edna Jorgen had hidden the antidote pill under such a menial brick in such a big manor — clearly there were many out there who had been coveting it!!

“Wait!” cried Edna Jorgen. “Lisa, come closer! Lean your ear over; I want to tell you something!”

Lisa walked up to her mother, who immediately began whispering words into her ear.

“Rainbow Dash, could you come here for a minute please?” asked Snips. “Snails and I, we’d like to check and see how bad your wounds are.”

The only wound I had was on my lip; but it was bad enough. I walked up to the two unicorns. Immediately their horns started glowing; they were young, but they certainly had something to say.

“The old biped lady is saying this,” said Snips, “that there are….. two bottles…. underneath the brick…. the one on the right, is the real antidote…. the one on the left, is the fake antidote ….. she asked her daughter….. to take the bottle ……on the left…. with the fake antidote…. and give it to you…..”

I was shocked. Could this be for real — Edna Jorgen, whom these two young colts had once helped to rescue from the pit, wanted to indeed finish off poor Alberto?? Nevertheless I also knew that now the ball would be in Lisa’s court; she would ultimately decide what to do…..

“Alberto, my friend,” declared Lisa Dbrnouk softly, as she looked upwards, “this day I sacrifice myself, I lay down my life, for the sake of giving you the real antidote….. wherever you are, please remember this sacrifice made to you by this young girl….” And with that, she bent down and — trying to make sure she did not get spotted — switched places between the left and right antidotes, and picked the real antidote.

“Now,” announced Edna Jorgen, not having noticed that her daughter had taken the REAL antidote, “we will keep our word and pass the antidote to Rainbow Dash!”

“Yes, Your Eminence!” said the attendants, as they slowly walked up to take the bottle from Lisa Dbrnouk.

Suddenly a hand reached out from next to Lisa and snatched the bottle away from her before we could do anything. We turned around and saw Wladimir Dbrnouk himself, with a patch over one eye, looking very pissed.

“I should thank my lucky stars,” said Wladimir, most certainly sarcastically, “for allowing me to see such a bea-OO-tiful drama in real life.”

“You cunt! So it IS you! Hand back the bloody pill!” yelled Edna Jorgen. We all stepped back; we knew this was going to be a really bloody scene.

“Not so easy!” laughed Wladimir.

Suddenly a brightly-dressed figure entered the room. “Wladimir Dbrnouk! Hand over that pill at once!”

We all recognised whose voice that was. “Alberto!” cried Lisa Dbrnouk. Indeed, Alberto was there; he was wielding a revolver and sitting on top of Flash Sentry; both of them were looking extremely cross.

Big McIntosh, who had just walked inside with Braeburn upon Alberto’s intervention, was a little confused by this twist of events. “What happened?” he cried.

“The mother wanted her to give us a FAKE antidote, of sorts,” I explained, “but she is secretly in love with our friend Alberto; so she took the REAL antidote. And that was what Wladimir Dbrnouk just took from her hands — just like that. The REAL antidote!”

“Papa!” cried Lisa. “Have you not already done enough wrong by breaking Mama’s legs and then burying her in that pit? What were you saying today with Natalia Cuartas?!”

Lisa Dbrnouk, it seems, spoke those words with an air of fear; it was clear to us that she had never once dared to answer back to her father.

Indeed, Wladimir Dbrnouk was VERY pissed; he had never for one minute guessed that there would be a third party eavesdropping on his conversation with Natalia Cuartas, which he had clearly intended to be a secret. However, with regard to his daughter, he was nevertheless less ferocious; he knew she was his one and only heiress. So he thought carefully before answering. “What do you mean, what was I saying today? I didn’t say anything!” he exclaimed.

But for Lisa Dbrnouk, this time there was no turning back. “I don’t care if you’re going to kill me for saying this!” she yelled. “But you have spoiled your own name and reputation by womanising to that extent!! I honestly don’t give a damn about being killed by my own papa! All I ask is that you hand me back that pill which Mama promised to someone!”

Wladimir was not convinced. “Hmph! You two are all the same — mother and daughter!” he growled. “One betrayed her husband, the other betrayed her father! Call yourselves good guys? Yeah right! By the sceptre of Ottokar, may God do so to me and more also, if I don’t duly chastise you both today!!”

“STOP!!” suddenly shouted Alberto. “I have something to ask you, Lisa Dbrnouk!”

All our eyes suddenly riveted on Alberto at the moment.

“What is this I hear you wanted to sacrifice your life for me?” demanded Alberto. “And what is it about your father intending to harm you for the sake of flirting with another woman? Who is THAT woman anyway?”

“Natalia Cuartas,” replied Lisa Dbrnouk, beginning to cry again. “I know that my papa wanted to harm me by seeing her, but at the end of the day he is still my papa; as such I think it’s best I don’t tell you any further!”

We all knew that Lisa Dbrnouk was unable to reveal anything because her own parents, both of them equally evil despite being arch rivals, were right there in her presence.

“YOU’LL TALK!!!” suddenly yelled Edna Jorgen. “YOU CAN DEFINITELY TALK!!! ARE YOU GOING TO TALK OR NOT?!!””

Lisa Dbrnouk took a deep breath. “Alberto, the half-pill of antidote is in the bottle in Papa’s hands! I….. I have let you down, Mama!”

We all knew that when Lisa said that she had let her mother down, she meant that she had disobeyed her mother’s specific instructions; but from the look on Edna Jorgen’s face, Edna Jorgen clearly had misunderstood her own daughter, thinking that she meant that she had not done her duty as a daughter by avenging her mother and fighting her father.

“Ah! Ah! What an ex-ex-excellent dramatic scene!” laughed Wladimir Dbrnouk, applauding. “You deserve my applause, good and faithful daughter!”

Alberto’s eyes flashed. He pulled out his kukri, a bushranger knife. “AAAAAAHHH!” he yelled, running forward to attack Wladimir Dbrnouk. Within seconds, the two of them were interlocked in combat again….

* * *

ALBERTO: Now THAT had been truly shocking. Me, nearing the end of my life — which could happen anytime thanks to the Nightmare Poison having spread to just about everywhere in my body by that time, and yet still having to fight like hell in order to get that antidote pill which was apparently being held by an extremely evil couple.

And trust Lisa Dbrnouk to step in at the wrong time — when I was halfway dealing with her father Wladimir. Nevertheless I knew she was concerned about that antidote half-pill in his hands.

“Papa! Hand over the ….” she began, but Wladimir pushed me aside and grabbed her and pointed his gun on her temple. Gasps of horror from all around.

“Ah! Ah! You slut! You really have got the guts, do you not?!” laughed Wladimir Dbrnouk. “We will all die today, if that be the case!”

Edna Jorgen spat out two dates at Wladimir, but for some reason she missed.

“Spitting out like that is going to be no use, cheap woman!” Wladimir mocked. “At last! I have finally gotten back what is rightfully mine!”

“Lisa!” I cried. “You ok?”

Lisa began to cry. “Alberto,” she said. “I have failed you!

Why are you at my side?
How can I be any use to you now?
Look at me now, you will soon find out
Nothing has changed!
Deep in my heart I’m concealing,
Things that I’m longing to say;
Scared to confess what I’m feeling,
Frightened you’d slip away —
You must love me!

And with those words, she reached her finger for the trigger of her father’s gun, and shot herself in the head.

More gasps of horror. “LISA!!!” screamed Edna Jorgen.

But it was too late; she had already shot herself and had fallen on the ground, as dead as a doornail. Within seconds, the ponies and I engaged in an interlocked combat with Wladimir Dbrnouk and his attendants.

“Men, the emergency fishnet!” Wladimir Dbrnouk gave orders to the valley attendants.

“Men, don’t listen to that scum! Stop what you’re doing!” Edna Jorgen also gave orders to the same valley attendants, who were all confused. In the confusion, some of the attendants even attacked one another.

Suddenly, with a bound, Natalia Cuartas burst into the room, pursued by Derpy. “You wicked old witch!” Derpy was yelling. “I will KILL you today!!”

“Everypony listen up!” Derpy went on. “Dr Whooves is dead! This wicked witch here killed him!!”

Braeburn was very angry. “AAAAAAAH!!!” he yelled, running forward with Big Mac, Snips, and Snails behind him; Derpy and Rainbow Dash and I stood aside and gaped at the sight. Within seconds, the four male ponies were interlocked in combat together with Wladimir and Natalia.

After a few minutes of fighting, Wladimir began to gasp for breath. “Sister Natalia, let’s split up! Meet me at the old place!” he cried. And with those words, he and Natalia ran away in different directions; we all pursued them, but lost sight of them halfway…

* * *

SNAILS: That was itself a big blow for us — the enemy was using diversionary tactics to confuse us. Snips and I were unsure of what to do at first, but I did have a suggestion for the others.

“We’ll split up!” I called out. “Rainbow Dash, Flash Sentry, Derpy, Thunderlane, go with Alberto; Big Mac, Braeburn, follow Snips and me!”

“I’ll be taking the pegasi to go after Wladimir Dbrnouk!” called Alberto. “Snips, Snails, take the earth ponies and go after Natalia Cuartas!”

Big Mac and Braeburn followed Snips and I all the way to the edge of the Passionless Valley, near the Bordurian border. There was a huge cliff. We saw Natalia Cuartas standing there — or rather, not standing, but crouching; she was clearly feeling the full effects of the Nightmare Poison in her body, after Snips and I had used our horns to force her onto that big patch of Nightmare Plants earlier on.

“How are you, Ms Cuartas?” I asked, going up to her.

Natalia turned around, grasping her bosom in great agony. “Kill me, por favor!” she wailed. “Por favor just kill me! I can’t bear this agony anymore! Oh por favor, por favor….” she begged.

“Don’t worry, Ms Cuartas!” said Snips. “Just surrender yourself, repent, and mend your ways, and we will do our best help you!”

“We are the proclaimers of the Magic of Friendship!” said Big McIntosh. “All we need is a willing, broken, repentant heart, and that is when we will guarantee that we will change your life for the better!”

“I can’t! I just can’t!” cried Natalia. “Just kill me! KILL ME!!!”

She was literally going hysterical. I wanted to laugh at this dramatic scene, but knew that there were more important matters to deal with — namely as to how, if at all, we could rescue Natalia.

Natalia rose to her feet, stood and looked across the Black Sea, to the shores of neighbouring Borduria.

“Adios!” she cried. “Bid farewell, cruel world! Adios, memory of Wladimir Dbrnouk, the one I so loved! Artur, Alegría, I come to join ye now in eternal paradise!

I understand the things I said,
Don’t turn away from me;
Cos I spent half my life out there,
You wouldn’t disagree.
Just see me, just see:
Did you like me? Did you like me when I was not there?
D’you notice? D’you know?
You did not find me, you did not find, does anyone care!
Unhappiness, was when I was young and we didn’t give a damn;
Cos we were raised, to see life as fun and take it if we can!
Does anyone care? Does anyone care?
Does anyone care?

And with those words, Sister Natalia Cuartas FMM threw herself off the cliff and plummetted right into the Syldavian canyon to her death.

“Caramba!” I cried. “She’s as gone as her two younger siblings!”

“She is indeed,” said Big Mac. “She was horrible in life, and equally horrible in death. I mean, look at all that blood down there on her carcass! Finally, Dr Whooves has been avenged.”

“We owe it to the two of you, young unicorns,” said Braeburn, addressing Snips and me. “If not for your airblasting skills with your small but strong horns, we’d never have been able to have Sister Natalia Cuartas defeated at long last.”

“She didn’t just cause Dr Whooves’s death alone,” explained Snips, “she was also responsible for the deaths of many more entities, both bipedal and quadrupedal alike.”

“So many? You have all the names of her past victims, Snips?” I asked my best friend.

“I’ll tell you more later,” replied Snips. “Come, we’ve got to get back to Dbrnouk Manor. There’s a Shakespearean drama unfolding there.”

* * *

ALBERTO: I was with the four pegasi at a high place in the Passionless Valley. Derpy was getting herself ready to tackle Wladimir Dbrnouk, the Valley’s long time iron-fisted master.

The look on Wladimir’s face spoke a thousand words; he was certainly aware of his own attempt to slaughter Derpy merely a few months before, the same day when Flash Sentry and the two samba unicorns and I had rescued Edna Jorgen from that pit.

“Little grey pegasus,” said Wladimir, “you know that my love for you is real. Other ponies I have slaughtered; but you are one that I will never slaughter. Come and be my bride, please!”
“I’m sorry, Mr Dbrnouk, but inasmuch as I love your dramatic talent, I must say no,” replied Derpy. “The one I love — is Alberto.”

I jumped on hearing my name, and was about to lose my cool, but Thunderlane nudged me and gave me a severe look. Knowing that he meant business, I kept quiet.

“Alberto is the one I love,” said Derpy, trotting slowly up to me and hugging me, “and I cannot give him up for anyone else.”

“WHAT? You and he are….?” gasped Wladimir.

“Yes,” said Derpy. “And so all I’m asking of you now, is to give me the other half-pill of antidote, so that I can give it to my Alberto.”

“I can,” said Wladimir, “however, I would like you to come onto this ledge here — overlooking this ravine below — and beat me in a game of one on one. We will see if the bipedal race or the quadrupedal race is better. Melee weapons only.” He pulled out a strange-looking kukri.

“Here, Derpy, take my Tribalman’s Shiv,” I said, giving the grey wall-eyed pegasus mare my own blood-inducing kukri, which had been an Xmas gift from my Aussie-based younger brother Alonso.

Derpy moved forward and stood by. “If you win,” she said, “then you can have what you wished for — me laying down my life for you.”

Wladimir’s face lit up.

“But,” went on Derpy, “if you lose, you have to give me what I want, namely, that other half antidote pill.”

“I will hold you to your word,” said Wladimir.

I watched with abated breath together with Rainbow Dash, Flash Sentry, and Thunderlane, as Derpy prepared to fight Wladimir Dbrnouk…..