• Published 17th Jul 2013
  • 3,568 Views, 59 Comments

Regular Ponies - asdfghjklsemicolon



Regular Show/Pony cross over: Death sends Mordecai and Rigby into the world of Ponies.

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Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple

Getting to the farm doesn't take nearly as long as I originally think it does. It turns out to be only about five minutes away from that cart we'd seen that mare (I think her name was Ditzy or something?) crash into. Now Rigby and I are standing in front of a large oak gate, and attached to the gate is a sign that says Sweet Apple Acres in big, bold letters. Upon peering over the fence, I can see why it was called that. There are apple trees about as far as I can see. The barn has apples painted on it, I can see apple-shaped wind chimes hanging off the porch of the nearby farmhouse. Apples are everywhere, I guess... Apple are everywhere, would be the fact that I'm trying to get across.

The gate creaks as Rigby pushes it open, and almost immediately after, a blur of brown and white comes after Rigby and knocks him to the ground. I'm about to push it off until I see that it's just a dog. The dog sits on Rigby's chest and stares at him with a happy gleam in her eyes; it sort of reminds me of Pinkie, actually.

"Ugh!" He pushes the dog off of him and stands up. After brushing himself off, he looks at the dog. "Hmm. Hmm. Step off! Step off!" he yells, with the arm movements to match. It doesn't seem to affect the dog much, though. It just stares at him with a blank look and a smile.

"There you are, Winona!" Rigby and I look up when we hear a deep, Southern accent. It doesn't take long to find the owner of it. An orange mare is trotting up to us, a look of annoyance and relief on her face and her green eyes bright. She looks up at me and grins. "Thank ya'll kindly for findin' her."

"Actually, she found us." I chuckle, looking down at Rigby.

"Either way, thanks." She tips her stetson. "I'm Applejack. Welcome to Sweet Apple Acres! Ain't never seen the likes of ya'll around here."

"Um, yeah. We just got here." Rigby grins sheepishly.

"That means you must've already received Pinkie's welcome, huh? I hope she didn't get the confetti and cake canons mixed up again."

"Canon?" Rigby tilts his head and looks up at me, only to have me shrug and look back at Applejack.

Applejack's mouth makes an "o" shape. "Ah, well just, ah... Forget I said anything." She clears her throat before brightening up again. "So! If ya'll are new, you must be hungry! C'mon in, we've got plenty to share!"

She turns and begins a steady trot towards the farmhouse, giving Rigby and I no choice but to follow her. She seems pretty cool so far. She's pretty, but in the sense of being conservative about it. Not to mention that she's strong. If Rainbow Dash is strong, then this mare is... I can't think of a another word for "stronger". Let's just say that Applejack is stronger. Rainbow has an athletic body; lean and chiseled. Applejack is athletic too, but her strength is visible on almost every inch of her body. She works on a farm, I guess that has a lot to do with how strong she is.

When we get to the house, Applejack stops and looks to her left before putting on a smirk. "C'mon, Big Mac! Do ya need your little sister to come out there and show ya how it's done?"

I follow her gaze to see an older, bigger red stallion out in the field with a plow attached to his midsection. I can see why Applejack is teasing him, he looks like he's having a lot of trouble dragging the plow across the field.

The stallion, who's name I'm guessing was Big Mac, lets out a snort and glares at Applejack. "Nope."

Applejack chuckles. "Ya sure?"

"Eyup."

Applejack rolls her eyes and looks back at us with a wink. “That stallion is just ashamed that his little sister can do his work more easily than he can.”

I laugh while Rigby grins on. When Applejack opens the door to the house, the smell of warm apple pie washes over me, the smell making me realize just how hungry I am. I can't even remember when the last time I ate was. The morning we were teleported here? How long had we been lying unconscious in that field anyway? We could have already been here a week and not know it. Aw man. If we have actually been here a week, then Benson must have already made up his mind to fire us. Then again... Skips had witnessed the whole thing. Surely he would have told Benson about what had happened; Surely he wouldn’t have just left us out to dry? He's not like that, right?

Right?

While I had been zoned out and lost in my thinking, Rigby looks to have been having a staring contest with a kid. Despite being yellow and red instead of orange and blonde, the little filly looks like a tiny version of Applejack. She looks strong for her age too, which makes me wonder if muscles run in the family, or if they're results of hard work.

“Dude, what are you doing?”

“I’m totally kicking this kid’s butt in staring!”

The filly frowns without moving her eyes off of my friend’s face. “No I ain’t! My eyes are just fine! ‘Sides,” She smirks before continuing. “I’m used to workin’ outside in the bright Sun, and doin’ night harvestin’.” She shrugz and lifts an eyebrow in the most adorable smug look I have ever seen. “Sorry, but you’re just no match.”

The little filly has a point. I can last a long time without blinking, but that's just from staying up really late and staring at a TV screen back when I was in high school. This kid actually has hard work put into her ability.

While I waited for Rigby to lose, I take a look around the house. It has a warm, welcoming atmosphere about it; it's actually pretty comfortable. There's a fireplace a few feet away from the couch, and on the mantle sits rows upon rows of pictures. I can see a picture of Applejack and Rainbow Dash with unruly manes and grins on their faces as they each held up a ribbon that said “Thanks for competing in the Running of the Leaves! At least you tried!”. Next to the that picture is a picture of Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and a few other mares I haven't met yet. One is a beautiful ivory colored Unicorn with a well-groomed purpleish/blueish mane. Sitting next to her is a yellow Pegasus with a long rose-colored mane and a shy smile. Lastly is the lavender Unicorn in the middle with a carefully cut mane.

I can also see the filly Rigby was competing against squished in the middle of two other fillies; a Unicorn and a Pegasus. None of them had their cutie marks yet, which kind of perplexed me. I thought that you were born with them, but I guess I was wrong.

I look away from the mantle just in time to see Rigby lose. He blinks after letting out a long groan. After opening his eyes he glares at his opponent, who raises her head triumphantly. “Told ya!”

I laugh before looking around the room. Someone is missing. “Where’d Applejack go?”

“Oh, she’s in the kitchen gettin’ ya’ll a couple pieces of pie.”

“Applebloom,” the mare in question pops her head around a doorway and gives the filly an accusatory look. “You ain’t botherin’ our guests, are ya?”

“What? Me?” The filly, who I now had a name for, sticks out her bottom lip, frowns, and stares at the orange mare with an offended look on her face. I have to say, she looks really convincing.

Applejack rolls her eyes and looks back at Rigby and I. “Don’t ya’ll mind my little sister. She can be a pain in the flank at times.” She gives a playful smile at Applebloom, who scoffed in response, before ducking back into the kitchen.

“Like she’s any different.” she mutters.

I have to say that Applejack and her little sister are pretty cool. They're obviously hard workers, which is practically shouted from their physiques, but they're also really laid back. You don’t meet a lot of people like that. Benson is okay, I guess. He has a really bad temper, though.

“Eat up, ya’ll!” I look up to see Applejack walk in, three plates of pie expertly balanced on her nose.

Applebloom beams and leaps at the older mare, snatching the top plate in her teeth as she glided past. “Thankth for tha pie, thith!” she mumbles around the plate.”

“You’re welcome, Sugarcube.” She smiles at Rigby and I. “Well, eat up fellas.” She sets the remaining plates on the small coffee table in the middle of the room.

“Thanks, Applejack.” I thank the mare as I sit next to Rigby. I raise my hoof to start eating before I realize something. I don't know how to eat with hooves. I look expectantly at Rigby, but he seems just as lost as I feel. I catch a glimpse of Applejack frowning.

“Is somethin’ wrong with it? Are ya’ll allergic to apples or cinnamon?”

“No! No, that’s not it.” Shoot. Like I said, Applejack is obviously a hard worker, and hard workers take pride in what they do. Applejack must have put a lot of effort into the pie since she was looking a bit crestfallen at the fact that we aren't digging in. Agh! The pie looks and smells delicious, I don't want her to think I don't like it, but... what can I tell her? ‘Sorry Applejack, but I dunno how to use my hooves’. How weird would that sound? I look over at Applebloom and sit up straight as I study what she's doing with her pie. She has the piece carefully balanced on her hoof as she takes small bites, most likely savoring the deliciousness that I'm being separated from by anatomy.

My thought are interrupted when I hear Applejack. “If ya’ll don’t like apple pie, I don’t mind makin’ something else. I could whip up a sandwich or somethin’.”

“No, Applejack it’s fine! It smells awesome, it’s just... er...”

“How do we eat this thing?” Rigby blurts out the question.

Applejack looks startled at the question. “Uh, pardon? Are you askin’ me how to eat the pie?”

Aw crap, she probably thinks we're idiots!

Applebloom shakes a hoof. “Applejack, it ain’t that weird if ya think about it! Maybe where they’re from they eat pie differently and they’re just wonderin’ how to eat it without offendin’ anypony!”

Aw man. Applebloom's adorable and all, but that explanation made absolutely no sense. Still, it makes better sense than saying that Rigby and I were sent here by an Australian (English?) skeleton.

Applejack looks at us expectantly. “S’at so?”

“Uh... yeah. Where we come from we eat pie... um differently.”

Rigby seems to finally catch on and throw in his two cents. “Yeah! We didn’t want to offend anyone here in Horseville--”

No! “Ponyville.”

Ponyville,” Rigby shoots me a glare.

“Well... ya’ll can eat the pie however ya like!” Applejack still looks a bit confused, but back to her chipper self.

I still don't know to eat it with hooves, but now at least we don't have to look like idiots. Okay, we’d probably still look like idiots, but at least we don't have to worry about Applejack calling us out on it. Rigby sighs in relief and into into his pie face first. Needless to say, pie got all over him; he actually looks like he did back when he was a raccoon.

While his plan isn't all that bad, the execution certainly is. I hesitantly open my mouth, but instead of getting it on my face I bite off a large portion of the corner, and let me tell you I am not disappointed. I'd even say it was worth the wait. Cinnamon, apples, sugar, every flavor of the pie seemed to seep out of it. And it was awesome.

Applejack meets my look with a nervous smile. “Well?”

Rigby raises his head and beams. “This is awesome!”

I can't hold back my laughter when I get an eyeful of his face. Pie was friggin’ everywhere! Applejack put a hoof to her mouth and snorted as she stifled a guffaw. Applebloom stood on her hind legs and put her front hoof on the table. She points her hoof at Rigby and grins “I like him!” She barely gets the claim out of her mouth before she pushes her own face into the pie, making some of the contents spew out from the sides.

“Applebloom!” I can tell Applejack is trying to be stern, but the smile on her face and giggle in her voice makes it impossible for anyone to take her seriously..

“Dude! At least have some manners!” I'm mad at him, but he's embarrassing me. I'm grinning, though, so even if he’d heard me he wouldn’t have listened anyway.

After the fiasco with the pie, Applejack sent Applebloom to the bathroom to wash up while I sent Rigby into the kitchen. I watch as Applejack grabs an old towel out of a small cupboard and gets to work wiping the pie off of the table. I feel kinda bad and look around for something I could do to help. After all, it had been my friend who started everything. It was difficult, but after using what felt like every muscle in my wings, I'm able to balance the three plates on them and take them into the kitchen. Applejack shoots me an uneasy look as I pass her.

“You don’t have to do that, sugarcube.” She says as she walks over to me and swiftly snatches the plates off of my wings.

“What? C’mon, Applejack. Let me do something to help, especially after you made us pie and Rigby got it all over the place.”

“Think nothin’ of it. Ya’ll are my guests, and Imma do everything I can to make you feel that way. This ain’t your home,” she pauses and looks at me as she puts the dishes into the sink. “These ain’t your chores.” She smiles as she walks back to the living room. “I appreciate the offer, I really do, but I ain’t gonna accept it.”

I’ll admit, that offended me a little. I'm just trying to help, but I could see that arguing wouldn’t get the stubborn mare to change her mind; if not irritate her. I shrug and roll my eyes. “Fine.”

A few moments of awkward silence pass before I feel Rigby push his way to stand next to me in the kitchen doorway. “Where to now?”

“What about that mare that Rainbow Dash mentioned, the one who lived in that fancy looking building?”

“Ya’ll mean Rarity?” Applejack grins as she turns to look at us. “I was about to head on down there myself. Applebloom’s got a dance comin’ up at school and she probably wants to look extra pretty for somepony who’s gonna be there...”

“I don’t wanna go to that thing!” Applebloom’s voice comes from the top of the stairs. “And whaddaya mean ‘somepony who’s gonna be there’?”

Applejack smirks without looking in the direction her sister’s voice had come from. “Why in the world not? Were you not talking with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo yesterday about how,” She puts her hoof over her forehead in a dramatic pose. “‘Absolutely handome’ that colt at school was and how you ‘wish wish wish’ he would ask you to the dance?” She mimicked Applebloom’s voice with almost perfect accuracy.

“WHAT?” Applebloom’s voice booms and the sound of rushed hoofsteps flood my ears before a flustered looking Appleblom finds her way to the hand(hoof?)rail. She glares down at Applejack. “I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.”

“Ain’t his name ‘Pipsqueak’ or somethin’?”

“N-no!”

“You’re a dirty liar.”

I gotta admit, holding in laughter at the back-and-forth jabs between the two siblings is really hard, and eventually the dam broke for both Rigby and I. After exchanging a quick glance with each other, the two of us erupt into fits of laughter. If everyone in town is like Applejack and Rainbow Dash, then I'm really looking forward to the party later.

Applejack chuckles as her sister races out of sight and turns to us. “Anyway, I can walk ya’ll to Rarity’s if ya like. Knowin’ her, though, that Unicorn’ll be neck deep in work.”

“Unicorn?” Rigby and I ask in unison. We’ve had some bad experiences with Unicorns, more than I’d like to admit. So far, everyone seems really nice, but I don't remember seeing any Unicorns around. Ugh, I could just see them now with their bad haircuts and scratchy voices.

“Um, yeah.” Applejack raises an eyebrow. “She’s a Unicorn.” She must have seen the look on our faces because she gives us an assuring smile before pointing to the picture I’d been looking at earlier. “Ya see the white Unicorn in that picture? That’s her.” She puts her hoof down. “She doesn’t look so bad, does she?”

“Well, no.” Rigby admits..

“Exactly. She’s a bit picky and can get on your nerves, but she means well. She’s always tryin’ to do stuff for everypony she meets. Then again, she ain’t the Element of Generosity for nothin’.”

The what of what? Before I can ask what she meant, she throws open her door, tips her hat to us, and walks out. “Ya’ll comin’ or not?”

“Yeah, we’re coming!” I call back to her. Rigby and I rush to the door before closing it behind us and following the orange mare down the winding path that lead to the town.

Author's Note:

A big thanks to CometTail for proofreading!