The Desolation of Santa Mane Part 1
The Desolation of Santa Mane Part 1
The new recruits had just arrived a week ago but Ember didn’t talk with them much. She was in the second tier of Basic training, on her way to getting to third tier and out of it. So all of her focus was getting the best scores and beating out the competition. For this some of the other recruits gave her a hard time calling her various names behind her back but she ignored them. Although she would lying if they didn’t get a bit to her and she tried to blank them from her mind. The tier system was in set to make sure that by the time they moved onto advanced training they were ready, as they didn’t want to rush and ruin potential soldiers and leaders.
However one of the new recruits did catch her attention when he became the talk of the camp. O’Brian Desord, he was getting the highest scores on all the first tier challenges and exercises. Even higher then she had gotten when she was in the first tier. She wondered just how long it would be till he got to second tier and possibly even caught up to her.
As she sat down to eat lunch she noticed O’Brian was sitting alone, she was surprised as she thought he would have people swarming him. She began to wonder if he was one of those lone wolf’s who scared people off to make sure they didn’t become attached. Although in basic training that is a bit much if she said so herself.
She was broken out of concentration when Elisa Reajor, an Angel with blazing red hair, dark skin, and the standard golden glowing eyes, sat down next to her, “Oh..? Checking out O’Brian I see?”
Embers face reddened and she turned to Elisa and waved her hands, “No- no! Just wondering is all.”
“Well you seemed to have been staring at him for a while; I was almost starting to worry there for a moment.”
“I am fine…” she replied as she began to eat her food and Elisa began to do the same. They didn’t talk much during that time and so they sat in silence.
Elisa then brought up the new recruit, “I hear they’re calling him Shadow.”
“Shadow? Isn’t that a bit cliché? But anyway why?”
“Because of the stealth courses he took part in. Never caught once, people above tried to keep track of him but he just dodged their sights. That and his sniper scores, the Commanders were starting to say they were already guaranteed him the sniper position on any of the top squads.”
Ember’s attention went back to O’Brian as he was still sitting alone, “You don’t say…”
“Personally, I think we should get him in our squad. We’re already in the top ten. Go- on… Go introduce yourself to him,” Elisa replied and nudged her to go. Ember gave Elisa the stink eyes but then Elisa replied with puppy eyes, well to the best an Angel could replicate it with their glowing eyes. She gave in and stood up and with her plate walked over to where O’Brian was sitting.
He looked up from the tablet he was reading and saw Ember, “Can I help you?” he asked.
Ember noticed how he looked roughly her age, with black hair buzz cut and green eyes, he also compared to herself very pale but not sickly. “May I sit here?” she asked back.
O’Brian shrugged, “Sure- go ahead.” Ember sat down and he went back to looking at his tablet. She began to eat and finished up her food, she noticed his plate was already empty but he hadn’t gotten up yet to empty it and she wondered if he was too absorbed in whatever he was reading. The table was quiet and Ember looked back at Elise who was gesturing for her to say something.
“So… What are you reading?” she tried to begin small talk.
He didn’t take his eyes off the tablet, “Reports of the battles that have taken place recently in the outer rim of the galaxy, in the Rendexi Empire territory.”
“I heard about those… Aren’t we, the United Alliance, helping out the rebel forces there that are trying to get rid of the tyrannical rule?”
He looked back towards her, “It’s not as black and white as that. There are various factions vying for control of the Empire. Each with their upsides and downsides. The battles are being waged against each of the sides and the loss of life has become an all-time high.”
“So why are you so interested in it? Plan on going there after training?”
“Just interesting in what’s happening in the home land is all. See my parents defected from the Empire ten years ago when I was only eight,” he replied with a hint of sadness in his voice. She hadn’t expected that, a bit more personal than she had originally anticipated and a bit off topic as she was trying to get him to join their team.
He leaned back in his seat the best he could, “So I assume you’re not here to learn about me- is it?”
She was taken aback by this. “Well… I wouldn’t say that was entirely incorrect,” she said. “But my true intention was to see if you wanted to join my squad. We don’t have a sniper yet and I heard you’re the best here.”
He leaned forward and placed his hands together, “Please tell me why should I join your squad and not the others? In fact you’re the third time I’ve been asked.”
“Since you got here?”
“No, today alone, I’ve been asked a lot since I got here. So- why should I join yours?” he asked.
Well you’re a bit cocky aren’t you? She thought but didn’t make it obvious. “I and Elisa, Richard, and Drew are in the second best squad in the academy.”
“So then why shouldn’t I join the number one best team? You’re not making the best case?” He spoke in a serious tone.
Wow, he is a bit of a shithead isn’t he? She thought, what stick is up his ass?”
She sighed, realizing she wasn’t making much of a case at all, “Okay, because… Um… Damn… This is a bit harder than I thought it would be…”
Suddenly O’Brian began to laugh; others looked over at the table and began to murmur about what was going on. She looked around and almost began to turn her head so they couldn’t see her face, not that it matter much. Ember noticed Elisa was looking in her direction with her thumbs up. Eventually he began to stop laughing and just looked at her with a smile on his face.
“I’ll join,” he simply replied.
“You will?” she said and looked around. “Really?”
He smirked, “You have no idea what the others were like. All super serious and going on and on in great detail for me joining them. None of them relaxed and just tried to have small talk, they got straight to the point personally I am not a fan of those type. Plus you didn’t look like you had it all rehearsed.”
Ember smiled. “Well then,” she spoke and stretched out her hand. “Nice to have you on the team… Oops, forgot to tell you my name, I’m Raina, Raina Ember.
He grabbed her hand and shook it, “A pleasure. Now how about you get your friend to come over? I noticed her watching us for a while now…”
She got Elisa to come over and they chatted until Lunch was over and they had to get back to work.
Suddenly Embers eyes shot opened and she was breathing fast, she looked around to see the camp fire dead and Fiery Slate just lying there in deep sleep. Her helmet was folded so she put her hands on her face and could feel the sweat. That was the third dream she had since she began traveling with Fiery. It hadn’t hit her until then, that her squad was really dead… That she would never see any of them ever again. But most of all she missed O’Brian, he was always there for her, even if she was a year older, he always treated her like a little sister but even then they complemented each other.
She had planned to say how she felt to him after the mission but now that would never happen. He was dead and she’s stranded on an unknown world where many logical things she had grown accustomed to no longer have relevance. It was like a nightmare that you couldn’t wake up from, the only saving grace being that of Fiery Slate and his kind that seem peaceful enough.
Laying back down she closed her eyes and tried to fall back asleep.
***************************
Four days had passed since Ember had met Fiery their travels for the most part were uneventful. They made sure to not get into danger and the pony decided it was best to follow Ember and not go running off and possibly getting himself killed. Each night at the camp fire the pony began to explain much of the world to Ember, telling her of Equestrian history and other races that exist in the world to which Ember found fascinating. Never had she expected such a world to exist, it was a lot closer to Human mythology then she had expected before, and a lot of the history seemed out of a High fantasy novel.
As they got closer to the town, the forest began to spread out and less brush in their way. She could even begin to see the sand of the desert ahead. She ate another apple as they got closer to the tree line and stepped into barren land with sand dunes just ahead and then on to Santa Mane. As soon as they exited the forest she began to regret it, as the sun was up high and bearing down on the two of them and began to slow both of their progress but more so Fiery. Whereas her armor did have a cooling system, it wasn’t perfect, but with Fiery being a pony and having fur it made him warm up a lot more and faster.
They stopped for a quick rest just as the base of the dunes, and then afterwards began to walk through the sandy wastes. Fiery almost fell and tumbled down but she was able to catch him in time and hulled him up. He thanked her and then they continued on. When they got up a tall sand hill they could see the town of Santa Mare in the distance, still a bit of a blur from the haze but it wouldn’t be much longer. “Civilization..,” Fiery mumbled as they made their way down the hill.
Eventually they reached the outskirts of the town and she noticed it was eerily silent. Once they got closer she held up her hand and Fiery stopped moving and looked up at her in confusion. “Something the matter?” he asked her.
“I don’t know… Something seems off,” she spoke with concern.
“Really?” he said as he looked at the town which was very close now. “Seems normal to me,” he said as he past her and then ran up to the entrance of the town where a gate was. It was then that he understood what she meant as he stood there and looked into the western town. There was no one, the streets were empty and houses were boarded up and even some were in ruins.
Ember ran up to Fiery and stood next to him, “Like I said. Something seems off. Where is everyone?”
Fiery shook his head, “I don’t know... Sure they were acting paranoid the last time I was here but there were still ponies out and about doing their business.”
Ember walked through the gate, “Let’s check it out. See if anyone is still here.” Together the two of them walked through the sandy streets and looked at the buildings; some were in utter ruins as if they were attacked. They spotted a saloon that appeared to be somewhat intact and decided to go inside and check it out. She had to admit, the town really didn’t seem like it was built with ponies, in fact its architecture is very similar to old Human civilizations or backwater colonies on some desert worlds.
Entering in the saloon they found the tables had been knocked over and destroyed and even giant holes in the floor. Glasses broken and not litter the counter and floor with some drink stains still there. The saloon is dark, and the only light source being that of the sun outside coming through the windows which only lit partial of the room. “I wonder if the local species went to war…” Ember commented, reminded about how Fiery told her that the town was having problems with them, but she admitted to not knowing what the species is exactly.
After finding no one in the saloon they exited and began down the path and then decided to take a stop into the local store which was boarded up. She got to the door and tried to open it but it wouldn’t budge. “Anyone inside? We’re here to help!” she said going on the belief that they had been attacked. There was silence once again and she knocked on the door again and still nothing. Ember looked back at Fiery who just shrugged, she told him to stand away and he did. Taking a step back she then brought up her leg and busted down the door.
The door flew off its hinges and into the wall across the room with splinters flying everywhere. She stepped inside and looked around only to see everything busted and destroyed, with each step she could hear her boots crunching on something. Fiery followed as they began to explore the shop, and saw no one. Most of the supplies and goods were gone and what remained seemed to have gone bad or was useless to the two of them. Seemed they would be eating more apples from here on out until that ran out. One thing she noticed was in the storage room there was another hole in the flooring similar to the saloon.
Leaving another building with nothing to report, Fiery suggested they check out the Sheriff’s office. It was a bit further, in the middle of the town and was easy to spot with the words: Sheriff written on a large slap of wood above the entrance. Similar to the store all of the windows seemed to be boarded up, but this time the door wasn’t locked. Opening it up she was welcomed to a horrid smell of rotting flesh and she turned around the Sheriff’s desk only to see a pony with their stomach busted open and guts littering the floor around them. As she turned to tell Fiery to not look she found it was too late as he was standing there wide eyed at the dead pony.
“I t-think… Y-Yeah…” he stuttered to say and then quickly turn and left the office and she could hear barfing outside. She turned her attention back to the Pony whose face was still intact and opened eye, and was easy to tell that whatever happened he was terrified no doubt as his expression showed it. Ember just didn’t understand, what could have done this? She recalled Fiery mentioning that Dragons existed on this world in the Badlands up north past here, but nothing had any scorch marks and from what she gathered, the two races weren’t fighting each other.
Suddenly she fell over as the office shook horribly and then from beneath the dead body large claws shot up, grabbed onto it and then dragged it down into the same hole she had seen in both the store and the saloon. Quickly she turned to go outside, “Fiery we need to get out of here!” she yelled as she stepped outside and saw the Pony who was still dazed from the puking.
Fiery turned to ask what was going on when the ground shook again and she saw the same claws appear as before but around the pony and grabbed him down she tried to catch him but then the same claws wrapped around her and dragged her down, she could feel the stand and bedrock hit against her but then found herself free falling with the claws no longer around her. Before anything happened she tried to summon her wings but they still sent shocks of pain but she quickly ignored it as she looked around. Taking all of the scenery around in seconds as she saw they were in a cave and below her- mole people with large brown furry bodies, small beady eyes, and large deadly claws on each arm.
Quickly pulling off her assault rifle off her back she began to fire and they dispersed as she hit the stone ground. Getting up the mole people began to rush at her with their claws, she began to fire at them while moving backwards. The mole stopped moving as the bullets pierced through their skin and out the other side. However this didn’t discourage the others as they began to attack at her with seemingly no strategy. She had to be careful, she wasn’t sure if the claws could damage her armor, but she knew that melee weapons go right through shielding technology as the shields could only deflect incoming targets that aren’t magic.
She continued to fire at the incoming moles, their red blood staining the grounds where they fall. Ember jumped on top of a table and then noticed she was stepping into something squishy and looked down for a second to see a body of another pony with their bones sticking out. The Angel slipped and fell off but quickly regained her footing and began to fire again, her stomach turning as she noticed all of the tables were full of dead ponies. One mole got behind her and slashed, it didn’t damage the armor too much but it was enough force to send her flying across the room into the wall, getting the same feeling as when the mage hit her with their magic.
However this wasn’t magic and she still got back into the fight and on the offensive until the rest of the moles died. Turning her head away from the bodies and tables she saw an exit and made her way through it. She suddenly stopped and placed one hand on the side of the cave wall as she felt the pain of a wound reopening and realizing the hit had did more damage than she realized. Ember had to ignore it as she needed to get to Fiery.
She could hear the sound of drums being hit and she assumed it was an alarm and continued on and when she reached the ending of the corridor she saw they were in a huge cave complex and high up as there was a ledge across from her. Moving to the edge she looked down and saw that the cave went down quite deep that without zoom from her helmet wouldn’t be able to see the bottom. All across the various levels she could see moles moving and various machines which looked to be steam powered with even large drills across the walls.
Ember looked at her motion sensor and saw hostiles incoming and she looked to her left and saw they were coming up a large rope bridge that connected her level to the level below. Moving to the bridge she aimed at the ropes and shot them just as the moles got half way across it, the bridge fell and they tumbled down the hole. Then suddenly looking at the level below she could see the moles cashing something and she zoomed in on her helmet and saw them running at Fiery Slate who had gotten away somehow. On her HUD she tagged him so she could keep track of him.
With no way to contact him she needed to catch up to him before he got too far. She cursed, if only her wings hadn’t gotten damaged she could just fly over to him and help and also because she had destroyed the very bridge that could have gotten her to him. Looking around she decided to take a leap of faith and grab on to the cut bridge that was now dangling. Ember placed her rifle on her back and then moved backwards to the wall and then ran forward and jumped as she got to the edge, her Angel strength allowing her to go farther than if a Human attempted the same feat. She stretched out her arm and grabbed onto the bridge with one hand and then grabbed with another.
She began to climb up and noticed a mole above that looked down at her and with their large teeth grinned. The mole began to cut but she quickly grabbed her pistol off her belt and fired at the creature and they toppled over the ledge and fell down. Ember kept the pistol out just in case; she climbed with one hand and then placed it on her belt so she could haul herself up and over the ledge. Not taking any breathers she quickly pulled out her cube and decided that in a situation like this, a close quarter’s weapon would be best. Looking at the last three weapons in the she smirked under her helmet and chose the one she felt was best.
A shotgun materialized above the cube and she grabbed it and then placed the cube back. Looking at her HUD she turned in the direction it told her Fiery was and she began to make her way down the path. He was farther away now and was still running. Going in that direction she didn’t slow down even when a mole jumped out, with one press of the trigger the mole was blasted away from the force of the shotgun.
Her motion sensor lit up like the holidays with red nearly covering the entire thing. She turned and went down a set of stone stairs as Fiery went down another level. The floor compared to the others was a lot open with a large platform in the center of the cave and the moles were waiting for her as she turned to see a couple of them and one in what appeared to be a mechanized suit with a large drill on both arms. Seeing as it was the greatest threat she decided to take out the minions first so she could ‘duel’ the large one.
She dodged out of the way of the drills and rolled forward and shot a mole and then quickly and shot another. Ember jumped away as the drill slammed down on her position and she noticed the shotgun needed to be reloaded. Grabbing a rotating barrel in the center of the gun she rolled it and it continued to spin at a faster rate and slowly the dark lines on the gun began to light up signaling it had been recharged.
A marvel of the United Alliance that many didn’t have and envied for the technology. Every gun of the UA can be recharged with the barrel being turned, making the guns unable to ever run out of ammo as the guns run on a metal known as Ambadium that was discovered on desolate planets. The metal allows for particle build up and then sends them flying out at various sizes and at speeds similar and damage to a regular projectile bullet with gun powder. Depending on the sizes, the guns can only carry a number of particles similar to a clip. However if done too often the gun can get overheated and even sometimes melt if done too often, she had seen some recruits actually have the gun in their hands melt from the excess heat, she hadn’t allowed it to happen to herself yet but in some cases she had gotten really close to it.
The wonders of technology… she thought.
Moving away from the drill suit, she fired at the normal moles and even kicked some off the ledge. Eventually it was just the two of them, she began to fire at the suit and noticed it didn’t go through but just dented it. The mole roared in the suit and charged at her with surprising speed. She tried to side step but the mole moved the mechanical arm and slammed it into her sending her against the ground like a rock skipping on water. Before she could stop it was already heading in her direction. Getting back up she fired more rounds at the suit and rolled forward through its legs and quickly aimed at its back which held its power supply.
However before she could finish it, the mole turned and began to go into a sort of overcharged state and began to go even faster and its drills began to glow orange from increased heat. She began to aim for its legs to try and knock it off balance but the suit quickly moved out of range. The mole put its arms out and then suddenly the two drills shot out of its hands and at her, she ducked as the first one arrived and then barely dogged the second. They continued to fly past her and then slammed into the wall which collapsed.
The mole placed its arms on its back and pulled off the two extra drills and then ran at her. She continued to fire at the leg and soon enough the metal leg began to give way to the damage and the suit began to become unstable but the mole still kept moving albeit slower than before. She ran and jumped over the mole and turned and fired at the power supply and it exploded, the mole tried to get out of the suit but it began to break and mini explosions until it completely went up in flames. The mole screamed in pain which sounded like a person being strangled but really high pitch but after a bit the mole stopped moving and their screaming stopped.
Looking at her HUD she began to track Fiery again and he was much farther than before. Passing the flaming suit she crossed to the other side and ran to a rope bridge. Then an idea struck, she replaced her shotgun with her assault rifle and aimed down the sights at the other side of the bridge and destroyed the knots. Like before the bridge then hanged limp on one side and she began to climb down it, she passed the layer below and jumped off when she got to the bottom of the bridge. Checking the distance again it got significantly smaller as they were now on the same layer and side.
Suddenly two moles came at her from both sides, she shot the first and then kicked the other one but it got back up and jumped at her. Before it landed on top of her she punched upwards and sent it slamming into the low ceiling and then they fell and lay dead on the floor. Stepping over the body she ran to get to the pony before they caught up with him. She spotted Fiery and she noticed he was very tired and was starting to slump but was still pushing on. Ember admired that but she had no time to stare and began to make her way to him, firing and keeping a tab on Fiery at the same time.
Stay alive! We will get through this!
She passed through a small room and found it to be full of more pony corpses with plates. It seemed to be a butcher and they eat the ponies. No doubt why the ponies above in Santa Mane were paranoid is that they feared they would be eaten which turned out to happen in the end. One thing she also noticed was that compared to the town above, the mole people seem to be more advanced with the advent of steam technology. However it’s not match for her armor and guns which are centuries ahead, but that didn’t mean they aren’t deadly; anything with enough force can kill a person from a rock to a bullet. Ember only feared what else they could have and if the suit was anything to go by, they could have even larger.
Going through the rooms she reached back into the main center and saw Fiery who was now slowly down but wasn’t far ahead. Using her max strength she rushed forward with her shotgun and shot the first mole that had their back to the soldier. The others turned their attention from Fiery and began to go after Ember as they saw her as the larger threat where as they saw Fiery as a meal. “Just give up already!” she yelled out as she blasted another and another. When no more came at her she began to move past them however the ground began to shake and she looked down off the ledge and saw an army of moles rushing through the floors.
“Fiery!” she yelled out to the pony, he slowed down and turned towards her with a gleeful smile. No moles stood between the two and she caught up to him, “We need to get out of here. Now.”
“Y-You don’t… Need to tell me…” he spoke with large breaks in-between the words.
“We need to find a way out- just stay on my side and don’t run off,” she commanded to the pony.
Fiery nodded his head, “Yeah… I’ll follow you- I don’t want to get eaten and I certainly don’t want to die in a damn cave!” He spoke with conviction and a will to survive. With that settled the two of them began their escape.
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SO her guns work like the ones in the first mass effect only the phlebotinum is called differently.
I'm okay with that.
And i like the way you write action scenes, they could be implemented like this in a game and it would totally work out.
I can see the quick time event buttons flashing before me and one failure will cause the enemy to crush you and you have to start over or die!
2786969
Yeah. I definitely inspiried by Mass Effect on that part. Although it took me a while because I was trying to think of some realistic explanation but then decided to just make up something that made sense inuniverse.
Also on the topic of action scenes, I do write them out as if I was playing a game. :D And looking back at it, I can see what you mean by the QTE's. XD
I can tell you just from the description that I wouldn't want to read this story. Not because it doesn't seem interesting, but because the description is too confusing.
I can follow it, but casual readers aren't going to want to work to understand what they're reading. Some grammar mistakes, run on sentences, and too much information all combine to make a descriptino that leaves nothing to the imagination.
I'd suggest searching for an editor in some of the dedicated groups here on FIMfiction, and rewriting the description to tempt readers more. Something like a short description of the Gods and Goddesses thing, and then the last paragraph. That's it.
I know from experience that personal editing doesn't work as well as fresh eyes.
Good luck!
2790275
Hm... Maybe I should. Truthfully I hadn't thought of getting an editor. I think I might check into that. As for the description... I will work on it. If it truly is too complicated, I can just leave the majority of the description to the intro paragraph of Chapter 1 and make the story description more bare bones.
Also on another note... Could someone who down voting please tell me what I am doing wrong? I don't want to pander, but it's frustrating to get down voted and not even get told why.
2791774 Honestly, no. The people who downvote will almost never leave their reasoning.
Welcome to the frustrations of being an author.
2792138
Guess that is just something I will need to deal with. Anyway, I think soon I will rewrite the synopsis and try to find an editor. The Proofreader Group I am guessing is where I will find that.
2792147 Pretty much, yeah. Or you could make a post in Looking for Editors. I would provide a link, but I'm on a mobile device right now.