Good story but I'm gonna stop after Chapter 1 for now because you really really need someone to proofread it. Also it is a slight bit rushed in some cases. Good luck
2684002 I will continue but it does feel a bit rushed... I mean i'd expect Spike to atleast try and get back with Diamond. 'Course she is a premadona and will crawl back to him probably. Believe it or not i'm actually not that into Clopfics. I just feel that they are more... how you say "Intricately" defined in the way of detail.
2684002 I completely agree. Nice concept, but there is something like five errors per paragraph, it's impossible to focus on the story. Aside from the grammar, you also need page-breaks.
Good story but I'm gonna stop after Chapter 1 for now because you really really need someone to proofread it. Also it is a slight bit rushed in some cases. Good luck
2684002
I will continue but it does feel a bit rushed... I mean i'd expect Spike to atleast try and get back with Diamond. 'Course she is a premadona and will crawl back to him probably. Believe it or not i'm actually not that into Clopfics. I just feel that they are more... how you say "Intricately" defined in the way of detail.
2684002
I completely agree. Nice concept, but there is something like five errors per paragraph, it's impossible to focus on the story. Aside from the grammar, you also need page-breaks.
I know to a fact I've read this story before. Just not sure where... Maybe fanfiction.net?
This has the most ridiculous plot I have ever seen. Now if you'll excuse me I shall read the rest
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSir2ELuBQ7GptiZufiNttEdDW9GcAr7_juNct6-MgRd2UcnRY4BQ
Excuse me jackie chan while I read more.
Ooomigosh! This first chapter feels JUST like those old 80s comedy porn movies! I am soooooooo reading it all.
vs.
Let the s.e.x war begin!
I wouldnt rate it high in plot...but sometimes with a porn less story is more.
2689315 I agree i'm going to read it all and the sequal of this story
So, lesbianism is going to be the end of civilization as they know it.
Who knew.
Also GOD DAMN IT RAINBOW
starecat.com/content/wp-content/uploads/forgot-to-turn-my-swag-off-before-bed-woke-up-covered-in-bitches.jpg
TURN OFF THAT SWAG
2687563
Thats exactly where I first found it.