Not bad for starting out. I will keep an eye on that one

Interesting. Where will you take this... I wonder?

It looks like a good start. Small mistakes but well written.

I really like this. I can't wait to see where it goes.

A couple of mistakes that REALLY bothered me were when you said "We've to hurry," instead of "We have to hurry." The "We've" contraction is only really used when "have" is followed by "been" or other similar words, such as "We've been here already" instead of "We have been here already." The same applies to "They've." The way you used them incredibly jarring and distracting.

Those were the only ones that really stuck with me, apart from some comma placements that were a little confusing.
Good job. Better than most, but still room for improvement.

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Thank you all so much.
And thanks for the grammar info. I didn't know that as you've seen and it will help me alot in the future :)

i liked the ambiance, so far i can't really tell were the story will go (or even what was this first chapter about), but i will follow it