The Wish

by SadisticFluttershy

Chapter 1- How everything went wrong

Chapter 1- How everything went wrong.

It was a stormy day in Equestria, sounds of water splashing was not the splash of fun; it was a splash of frustration, worry and sadness.
Rarity has been looking for her sister Sweetie Belle for weeks now; herself and her friends have been looking everywhere and still can't find her sister that she loves with all of her heart.

Rarity was running franticly with tears streaming down her cheeks "Sweetie Belle, I know you’re out there somewhere, alive and not dead!"

She didn't expect a response from anypony, not even her sister. Rarity wasn't alone in finding her beloved sister; her 6 friends were also helping Rarity in finding her sister Sweetie Belle.

"Sugarcube, Ah' know we will find your sister, Ah' know we can, it's just ah' matter of time before we do" Applejack said, trying to keep her friends confidence up.

The group has been looking for Sweetie Belle for weeks, still no sign of her. The other crusaders Applebloom and Scootaloo, have also been helping in searching for their friend.

"Rarity" Twilight started "How did this even happen, I should have asked you this earlier but it slipped my mind"

Rarity stopped in her tracks and noticed a cave in her side eye and told everypony to follow her inside.

"Give me light Twily, and I'll tell you all on how it happened"

"Of course" *Twilight replied, giving a bright latent light coming from her horn*

Rarity took a deep breath and exhaled slowly

"Alright, here goes"

***Ponyville 6 weeks earlier****

It was a bright morning in Ponyville; Celestia's sun was rising over the horizon with bright shining colors.

The Carousel Boutique sat still in the morning sun. Rarity was still asleep, having a divine dream of pancakes, apples, and every other breakfast food that she looks forward to every day.

*Sniff* "Oh the wonderful smell of blueberry pancakes is simply divine, and the welcoming smell of apple cinnamon toast, and the smell of... Smoke"

Beep beep beep beep beep

"SMOKE?!"

Rarity jumped out of bed and fell down the stairs with loud thumps before hitting the ground below.

"Rarityyyy You ruined the surprise! I was going to serve you breakfast in bed!" a familiar voice shouted.

Rarity took off her sleeping mask to come face to face with her sister, Sweetie Belle.

All she could give her sister was a small angry look.

"Is there something wrong sis?" Sweetie belle asked.

"Listen Sweetie, I appreciate the kindness you were trying to give me but, you almost burnt the house down!"

"Now now Rarity, that's not how you talk to your little sis!" A familiar voice said.

"Mother... Father?" Rarity said giving eye contact to her parents who were sitting at the table

Both of Rarity’s parents walked over to her and gave her a hug and spoke "Why yes sweetheart, it's so good to see you!"

Rarity returned the embrace. "It's good to see you too but, why did you bring Sweetie Belle here?"

Pearl let go so that she could tell her the news.

"Your father and I are going to be going on vacation, so we want you to look over your sister"

"For how long?" Rarity asked.

"A week" Pearl responded.

Rarity's eyes widen with worry "A... a week, you mean 7 days?!"

"Yes, 7 days and 6 nights, don't worry your father and I will return home soon" Pearl said assuringly

"You’re Mom and I will only be gone for 6 days, today's Tuesday so we will be home next Tuesday the 18th" Magnum said giving specific detail.

"I'll go get my stuff from dad's wagon!" Sweetie Belle said excitingly.

Rarity moaned "But mother"

Pearl put a hoof on Rarity's mouth "Everything will be fine dearie"

A loud clash hit the tile floor as Sweetie Belle came back with her stuff

"This is going to be the best week ever!" Sweetie Belle said with a smile.

***Ponyville Train Station 30 minutes later***

"Alright you two, be good for Mommy and Daddy and promise me you won't kill each other" Pearl said letting out a chuckle.

"Okay, we promise" Sweetie and Rarity said at the same time.

The cab pony was pulling away, with their parents waving goodbye until next Tuesday.

Rarity's mind was overwhelmed with the thought of knowing that she has to take care of her little sister for an entire week.
'How can I take care of my little sister? She’s nothing but a disaster!'

Sweetie Belle notices Rarity's expression. "You okay sis? You seem, well I don't know... blank?"

"What H-huh?" Rarity responded, trying to snap back to reality. "Oh, I'm fine darling, thanks for the concern"

Sweetie Belle smiled "Your welcome big sis! I will always look out for you!"

Rarity turned away and sighed muttering "Great.... this will be quite a week" and walked back into the house.

"So, what should we do first?" Sweetie Belle asked.

****Reality came back****

Everypony was confused.

"Everything seemed fine there Rarity, how could of Sweetie Belle run off?" Twilight asked.

"Yeah, how could she of run off?" Rainbow added

Rarity's eyes were filling with tears

"I..." *Rarity began, trying hard to speak in between hard sobs* "I... we... we had a huge fight"

"Oh... oh my, how bad was it?" Fluttershy asked curiously.

"It was.... Bad" Rarity replied.

"But, How bad exactly?" Applejack asked also.

*Rarity was having a hard time re living the events that happened 6 weeks ago*

"Bad enough to where she... Ran away, claiming that she already committed suicide, but... but I know that she isn't dead because......"

*Rarity began to break down into more tears as the thought of knowing if her sister really did commit suicide or not, is hurting her badly inside*

All of her friends came and gave her the biggest hug that she ever received, they told her that her that they will find her sister, it was just a matter of time but they promised that no matter how long it takes, they will succeed.

After 15 minutes of love and comfort from her friends, she calmed down a bit and continued with her story.

"Okay so if you guys want to know how she ran off like I said, we got into a huge fight"

"What happened?" Twilight asked

"It was a beautiful spring afternoon, I was in my room cleaning up after finishing my latest design when Sweetie Belle came in and asked if we can enter the sisterhooves social. Of course you all know that I hate entering competitions that are going to get my beautiful hooves and mane all messy and gross. Sweetie kept begging and pleading me to enter competition with her, and I'll admit I'm stubborn so I kept saying no. She eventually got to the point to where she said to me that I don't care about her and that if I can't do anything that'll make her happy then she won't need a sister. That's where the fight began”

Rarity explained.

"What happened after that?" Twilight questioned

"Well..." Rarity started

****Carousel Boutique 6 weeks earlier****

"Why won't you enter the competition with me?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Sweetie, you know how I hate getting my mane and hooves all dirty"

"I know Rarity, but I want to do this so bad with you, it would mean a lot to me!"

"Listen Sweetie Belle, I know how you want to enter this competition with me, but my answer is no" Rarity replied back, looking away from her sister.

Sweetie Belle's emotions were mixing together in trying to win her sister over

"But why Rarity? I just want to-” Rarity interrupted her sister "For the last time Sweetie... the answer is NO!"

Sweetie was furious.

"FINE! I guess you don't care enough about me to even do one thing with me, all I ever asked was to do ONE THING" Sweetie Belle shouted.

Rarity's ears twitched as her little sister's squeaky voice bounced off her ear drums.

"Sweetie, how could you ever say such a thing?!" Rarity questioned.

"Because you don't care enough about me to do even something simple as a competition that I knew that we could do to spend time with each other and hang out like family... but I guess that's too much to ask since your soooooo obsessed with all this ridiculous pony design stuff that you forgot what was important!"

"I do know what is important thank you very much!" Rarity began "These designs are more important to me than anything in all of Equestria"

Sweetie was immediately hurt by her sister’s words; she couldn't believe that she said that her designs were more important than her own sister!

Sweetie began to cry as she spoke "I... I cannot believe that you said that!"

Rarity turned around and saw her sister crying... she was about to say something, but her sister continued.

"I cannot believe you would ever say something like that! I looked up to you, I cared about you, loved you, and been grateful to have you as my sister, but I guess I was wrong"

As much as Rarity wanted to apologize, she couldn't, she was absolutely speechless.

"No words to say? I knew you didn't care enough about me" Sweetie paused for a moment to re gain control of her emotions. "I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN! You'll never hear from me again neither and don't even bother to come look for me, Goodbye!"

With that, Sweetie walked out the door, slamming it behind her, leaving Rarity standing shocked trying to process on what just happened.

****Cutie Mark Crusaders Clubhouse****

"She really said that?" Applebloom asked

Sweetie Belle lowered her head into her hooves "Yeah, she did"

"Why that little...ponyfeather!" Scootaloo said in frustration.

"Listen Sweetie, Ah' know you’re going through something hard but, me and Scoots are here to help, if ya need anythin, just holler" Applebloom said with a

smile.

Sweetie lifted her head out of her hooves and smiled "Thanks Applebloom... Scootaloo, you guys are the best"

Applebloom and Scootaloo left Sweetie alone in the clubhouse so she could think.

'It still makes me mad that my own sister would say such thing!' Sweetie began to think 'I know I told her that to not even bother to come look for me but, was that all a mistake? NO! It was not a mistake! She doesn't deserve to even have a sister!'

Sweetie got up, and started stomping on the ground like a 2 year old, but stopped quickly as a thought ran through her mind.

'That's it, I know that Applebloom and Scootaloo are here for me but, I can't take it... I'm leaving Ponyville' Sweetie said to herself.

Sweetie then walked down the stairs and outside of the acres. When she reached the town's county line, she looked back and muttered "Goodbye Ponyville" and began to walk away, only leaving a note that was attached to the back of the CMC Clubhouse.

****Present Time****

Tears have been streaming down Rarity's face as she told her story.

"It... it hurt me inside that Sweetie Belle said such things, though it was my fault"

Applejack wiped Rarity's tears away and spoke "Sugar, i'm sorry to say that it was your fault to begin with, but that was the past, but for now all of us here are together to help you find your sister"

"She's right Rarity, we wouldn't be here if we didn't care for your little sister. My brother would do the same if I dissapeared or ran away" Twilight said giving eye contact to her friend.

Rarity sniffed a few times before speaking again. "Thanks, it means alot to me"

"Cmon girls, what we waiting on?" Rainbow started, jumping from the ground and into the air flapping her wings "Let's go find Sweetie Belle!"

"Rainbow's right" Rarity said confidently "I didn't come this far to quit now!"

"Alright then, let's go!" Pinkie Pie added.

"What Pinkie said" Rainbow included.

The group exited the cave and continued their search for the missing pony.

Author's Note:

Could you guys ever relate to this story by real life events that took place in your life?

It's hasn't happened to me since I'm the youngest in my family.

Sweetie Belle goes off to a place to where no pony ever would think to look.

Surprises are coming in the later chapters.

-MLPFluttershy.

Thanks for reading! :)

Comments

[elue1234]

Fabulous!

[SilentBelle]

I keep an eye on all Sweetie Belle fics, and try to comment on all of them and leave a bit of critique.

I like the idea behind this story, its execution and the writing, however, could be improved upon.

First off, (and I know it's a grammatical issue, and I read your note about not pointing them out; however, as a writer, I am compelled to point out certain things because I know doing so is an act of kindness towards a fellow author. I just want you to learn from this experience, so that you can hone your craft.) your dialogue needs punctuation.

Secondly, your story slips out of past tense a few times and is jarring for the reader.

Thirdly, is your use of numbers. I highly recommend spelling them out rather than using '6' or '7'. This does pull people out of the reading experience.

Fourth. I think that last section doesn't make too much sense, from a narrative viewpoint. After all, Rarity was telling the story up until now, so to cut away to a part from Sweetie's point of view doesn't make too much sense. You should at least let the readers know that Rarity is done telling her friends the story.

Fifth, and the last point I'll make. Do not use asterisks to signify a character's action. It is superfluous and detracts from the experience.

Thanks for writing, and I hope this criticism does not come off as mean-spirited. I enjoyed the concept and wish you the best as you continue writing. If you want to discuss any of these points I made, or anything else, you can PM me. I'm always willing to help when I have the time. I think I'll give this a follow and see where it goes.

~SilentBelle

[SadisticFluttershy]

To clear things up, I have added a few more words to this chapter, with going back to present time from the CMC Clubhouse.