• Published 30th May 2013
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A Very Minty Hearth's Warming Eve - Violet CLM



Minty meets a runaway rainbow princess whose kingdom has been conquered by King Sombra. Now Minty, Princess Rarity, and friends old and new must unite to save Unicornia, the Crystal Empire, and all of Equestria.

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The Princess and the Minty

The story of how we came to have our Princess Wysteria is long, young one. But she lives far from Ponyville—farther even than I—and so we have the time in which to tell it. As we go, you may try these pancakes I made to lessen your hunger. Yes, of course you too, Minty, my friend.

The office of ‘princess’ is now only a formality, but it was not always so. Once upon a time Princesses ruled over all the land of Equestria, holding great powers, and they might rule so still had not their internal quarreling dissolved the harmony among them and cast the land into strife.

There was a pink pony named Sundance, who so loved adventure that she could never live in one place but was always in search of new friends and new discoveries. One day her adventures brought her to the Rainbow Forest, and within that forest she found a unicorn pony… the last unicorn known to our history, before your appearance today, little Rarity. This unicorn was Princess Silver Swirl, wise master of the mystic arts, and Sundance convinced her to leave the forest and rule all the land of Equestria. Princess Silver Swirl liked this notion, but decided to share her power, for she knew that magic alone is nothing without friends beside you.

So Princess Silver Swirl sought and found the last pegasus pony, who became known as Princess Twinkle Star, who loved the stars more than the sky and had never disappeared with her many winged sisters and cousins. Princess Twinkle Star was not easily convinced to leave her stars and join everypony else on the ground, but she was at last convinced when she learned that she could grant the wishes made by her subjects, for she had a very generous heart.

From the other ponies of Equestria—the ‘earth ponies,’ as we were known at the time, when wings and horns were still remembered—choosing a third Princess was not an easy task, and many ponies came forth with reasons for why they should be chosen. At last the crown went to her that would be called Princess Crystal, who could see the future in her crystal ball. Princess Silver Swirl asked her what qualified her to be a worthy princess, and Princess Crystal answered that she would never tell her subjects anything but the truth. When asked how she could be sure, she said that she had seen her honesty foretold in her crystal ball, and her crystal ball lied no more than she did.

For a time the three Princesses were happy, and Equestria was happy around them, but Princess Silver Swirl grew discontent. She had learned in her books of magic that six was the most magical number of all, and wished for herself and her fellow Princesses to embody the six great principles of ponydom, in order to be the best rulers of Equestria possible. So she sought out a Princess of laughter, and gave the title to the greatest entertainer in all the land, who became known as Princess Trixiebelle. Princess Trixiebelle was not an active ruler, preferring to spend her time creating complicated entertainments, but this was seen as only right and proper.

The next principle, kindness, was thought to flourish most in the harshest conditions, and so Princess Twinkle Star flew to the poorest village she could find in all Equestria. There she found a serving girl who brought colors and happiness to all around her, and who dreamed only of one day attending a ball in the Princesses’ castle. Princess Twinkle Star granted the girl’s wish by making her a Princess herself, and she took the name Princess Morning Glory. Together they said farewell to all her friends in the village, and Princess Morning Glory joined the others in the castle, where she spent her time decorating and giving the other Princesses beautiful new hairstyles.

The Princesses were at a loss for how to choose their final Princess, for the final principle is loyalty, which may be tested only in the most adverse of circumstances, and peace had been brought to Equestria. But one thing that was not peaceful was the world of fashion, which was eternally changing, and they found a tall blue pony who was so loyal to the spirit of fashion that no sooner was a new trend introduced than she abandoned the old one altogether. She was given a magic ring that made her Princess Ivy, the dazzling glamour Princess, who could be seen everywhere and who never tired of displaying her beauty. Together the six Princesses ruled Equestria like sisters.

One day Princess Crystal came to Princess Silver Swirl in secret, to tell her the things that she had seen in her crystal ball. Princess Ivy was not content being the most beautiful Princess of all, for there was always a danger that that would change, and so she wished to rid Equestria of her competitors. She had spoken with plain Princess Morning Glory, whom she could trust never to outshine her in beauty, and Princess Morning Glory agreed to the treason, for she had come to resent the first Princesses for stripping her of her old life. Princess Silver Swirl feared the coming conflict, but decided to design a test to verify Princess Crystal’s reports. She adopted a baby dragon, and called forth all her fellow Princesses to give the dragon blessings to help him all through his life. All came, save for Princess Trixiebelle, who was performing in a magic show.

Princess Silver Swirl gave the dragon great strength, and Princess Twinkle Star gave him great knowledge, and Princess Crystal gave him great long life. But together Princess Ivy and Princess Morning Glory, thinking they were unobserved, worked to undo his blessings, for they feared that he might be used as a weapon against them. To temper his great strength, they bound him eternally inside of a mountain. To blunt his great knowledge, they made him easily confused and liable to forget what he was to speak about. And last, to weaken his great long life, they cursed him to sleep for a thousand years.

When Princess Silver Swirl discovered this treachery, she was furious, both with Princess Ivy and Princess Morning Glory for betraying her and with herself for having failed to provide Equestria with proper embodiments of the six great principles. She cast a powerful magic spell that all but obliterated the castle in which they stood, so powerful that it turned the beautiful Rainbow Forest around them into the fearsome Everfree Forest which lies near to Ponyville even today. And she stripped all five of them of their powers and of their memories of being Princesses, leaving only Princess Trixiebelle, who had already all but forgotten on her own. Princess Trixiebelle wished but to entertain, and so did her descendents and their descendents as well, some believing that theirs was the line of a Princess and others not, with neither set faring the better nor the worse for it.

Sundance, the adventurous pony who had found Princess Silver Swirl in the beginning, took up the rulership of Equestria in their stead. She was known as Queen Sunsparkle, until such time as she determined that Equestria no longer needed a monarch. And that was the end of the story until five months ago, when our own Wysteria and Pinkie Pie went on a journey to pick some rare flowers on top of this mountain.

A hole in the rocks opened up beneath them, and they fell into an immense cavern, where Wysteria found a beautiful flower. The flower had been tied to Princess Ivy and Princess Morning Glory’s curse a thousand years ago, and when Wysteria picked it, the dragon awoke and proclaimed her Princess Wysteria, ruler of all the land. For, you see, Princess Crystal had peered far, far into the future in her crystal ball, and had left the dragon instructions. When he woke, Equestria would at last be ready for the six great principles to take root again in ordinary ponies, and there would at last be a Princess worthy of ruling the land. She wrote that if he picked the first pony to pick his magic flower as that Princess, then the rest would work itself out on its own.

And our dear friend Wysteria… well, she wasn’t very happy about this at all.


Minty, she realized, didn’t know very much about Equestria. She knew a whole lot about Ponyville and its forty citizens, and that was about it. Well, eheh, lots of stuff about the color green too, and about socks, but those weren’t really relevant. She did know that Ponyville was built at the base of a very tall mountain, and that mountain was the source of the river flowing through Ponyville, which she’d fallen into earlier that day. Neither the river nor the mountain had any names, which made sense, since they were really more just the river and the mountain. They’d never seen any others, so why bother with names? The exception to this was the vast Everfree Forest to the southwest, which was so dark and frightening it demanded a title.

Climbing up the mountain behind Kimono and Rarity, though, Minty found that Equestria was in fact far bigger than she’d ever thought about. She could see Ponyville, which of course wasn’t very impressive on its own, but she could see all of Ponyville, all at once. The Petal Parlor, Celebration Castle, her own house… and so much more besides just that. There were other rivers in Equestria, and other forests. Other mountains, if that was what she was seeing in the distance. Any Ponyville looked so very, very small, and Equestria looked so very big.

“Hey, uh, Kimono?” she asked. Kimono was in fact in the center of their group, with Minty in the rear, since Rarity’d insisted on climbing in front despite not knowing where they were going. This made her frequently stop and loudly wait for Kimono to catch up, so that she could ask for more directions, but Rarity had more energy than patience… kind of like Pinkie Pie, maybe.

“No, my friend, we are not there yet.”

“Eheh, no, I wasn’t gonna ask that!” She mentally reminded herself not to ask that in the future. She didn’t want to be predictable. “I, uh, so…”

“Yes?”

Minty stopped for a moment, hooves set firmly on a large and stable boulder. She had, very reluctantly, left her socks in Kimono’s hut, because they were totally waterlogged and wouldn’t be at all fun to climb mountains in. But wait, what had she wanted to ask? She looked down again at Equestria below them. It was so, so, green. Green grass and green trees covered the earth as far as she could see, until they were eventually replaced by what she was still assuming were mountains. Minty had thought she knew green, but now she was getting the feeling that she had only ever touched one small part of it. This new green, this green of huge unexplored territories, was calling out to her to come and love it, and she didn’t know how. She’d lived in Ponyville since forever, and the wider world was inviting, but it was also so scary. Nopony knew anything about it, except, well, Kimono…

“Kimono, why do you live on the edge of town?”

Minty heard Kimono chuckle from above, and quickly resumed climbing the mountainside behind her, so that she didn’t get lost or not hear the answer to her question or anything like that. “A simple question,” said Kimono, “but not so simple an answer. Do I live in Ponyville, looking out at the rest of Equestria? Or do I live in the wilderness, looking in at blissful Ponyville?”

Minty continued to climb, trying not to let her enthusiasm take over. She had tried climbing too quickly at the base of the mountain, and had survived the rocky slip and fall only from having been so close to the ground to begin with. “I dunno!” she said. “That’s why I asked you!”

Kimono chuckled again. “Quite true… and I suppose it is the latter. Ponyville is a very happy and joyous place, Minty. You girls are always so full of energy and celebrations, it makes me wonder how you find any time to be yourselves.”

Kimono was walking slower as she answered Minty’s question, and so minty had almost caught up with her. “What do you mean?” she asked, panting just a little. “I mean, who else would I be? I don’t turn into Pinkie Pie when I’m at a party, heheh, that would be just really weird. Especially if she was also Pinkie Pie, yikes. Or if she wasn’t!”

“No, of course not.” Kimono paused, and Minty finally reached the same ledge of rock that she was standing on. “my point is that… is it not hard, during one of your many festivals, to remain committed to being yourself and not simply a partygoer? Does not the party replace the Minty?” Minty looked at Kimono blankly, and she sighed and continued. “That is my fear, my friend. If I joined your happy village, would I lose Kimono? How do I celebrate… and also love to read, and take tea, and think to myself?”

Minty whistled long and loud, startling a bird that had been nesting on a nearby stone. “Wow, Kimono! You’re really smart!”

“I’m sorry,” said Kimono. She blushed faintly and looked toward the ground.

“No, no, heh, it’s fine!” Minty patted her side enthusiastically. “That’s what makes you you, right? Isn’t that what you were just talking about?!” She grinned. “Anyhow, I’ve never had that problem! Most parties I end up bringing some socks or candy or something to anyway, and that way I get to be as me as I want to be!” She lowered her voice several notches. “Maybe you’re just scared of trying out parties, Kimono, because you think you’d like them!”

Kimono leaned sideways toward Minty and gave her an affectionate nuzzle. Minty felt her cheeks turn a bit hotter. “You may be right, my friend,” Kimono replied. “What one fears most can often be what one desires most, and I shall try to be more social in the future.” Her mouth curved warmly upwards. “You will always be welcome at my hut, Minty, to remind me to keep my pledge or simply to visit.”

Minty smiled distractedly; that thing Kimono had said about fearing and wanting the same stuff had sounded really important. She risked another downward glance, and saw Equestria even wider and greener than the last time she’d looked. “Kimono… are we alone?”

“Dear friend, I… I don’t think I understand the question?”

Minty waved a hoof down the mountainside behind them; she and Kimono were now climbing side by side, so her gesture was easy to see. “Well, you know, Ponyville! You and Rainbow Dash have all these great stories about the ponies in old Equestria, right, and gee, they’re really cool and all. But where are they now? Is Ponyville everypony that’s left, or, huh, gosh, are there absolutely tons of ponies absolutely everywhere and I’ve never met them, hmm, I guess that’s the only options I can really think of?”

Kimono kicked her lightly, what Minty would have called playfully if it’d been anypony but wise serious big-words Kimono. “Why, Minty! Have you forgotten so soon what brought us here? Or should I say, who?”

“Oh! Oh, right!” Minty giggled. “Rarity the unicorn!”

“Just Rarity’s fine!”

Minty shrieked, startled by Rarity’s sudden appearance next to her. Her front hooves shot up in the air in panic, and she felt herself beginning to topple backwards. Quickly Minty tried to regain her balance, but the mountain’s face was much too steep, and her footing was ruined. Her poor hooves slipped down the rocks, crying out in pain as they rubbed against the hard crags, and in no time she was simply falling down, making contact with the mountain only to bounce off it at painful intervals. She scrunched up her eyes, really not wanting to watch the world fly by her or the jagged rocks dig into her poor tender coat.

Well, this was it. She was going to die! Oh, and shoot, what a nasty way to go! All she’d been trying to do was go visit Princess Wysteria, who just had to live up in a big dumb mountain, and now she was falling halfway down that mountain and getting more beat up by the minute. Ouch, ouch, ouch! Well, at least Ponyville would be happy now that there wasn’t any more dumb Minty around to ruin everything for them. They could have proper parties again, without worrying about her sticking her hoof where it didn’t belong and destroying everything. Pinkie Pie would be happier without needing to set her straight all the time, and Seaspray would know her boat was sacrificed to a just cause, and Sweetberry would get all her customers back, and, and, and…

…and Sunny Daze would be miserable, wouldn’t she? Who would go body-surfing with her, if not minty? Would poor Rainbow Dash have to wear black? Would Razzaroo have to tear Minty’s pages out of her beloved birthday book? And what would Skywishes think if her extra special wish didn’t actually come true? Unless… oh, gosh, no…

…unless this was how it was going to work out. She’d keep falling down the mountain, and die, and everypony would be sad. Pinkie Pie and Razzaroo would put together a funeral, and everyone in Ponyville would start to miss her and would totally forgive her for ruining the Winter Wishes Festival because she was all dead and stuff. She wouldn’t get to appreciate it, but still, nopony would hate her anymore! That was what she’d wished for, right?

No, it wasn’t. What she’d… well, actually, what Skywishes had wished for was for Minty to do something to be a hero. Ponies liked heroes, lots more than they liked ponies who happened to die at random. And whatever Rarity the unicorn’s problem was, it sounded like it needed a hero. Minty falling to her death wasn’t what Skywishes had wished for, and it wasn’t nice, and it wasn’t right, and it wasn’t fair, and it wasn’t what Minty wanted. Because after all her life of living in the moment and dreaming only of the next party, and after all her shame from the Winter Wishes Festival, and after falling at random off the side of Wysteria’s mountain, what Minty wanted…

“I want to be a hero,” she whispered. And then, just as she was about to laugh at how silly she sounded, she noticed something. It had been a long time since she’d felt herself crash against the mountainside on her way down. To be honest, she wasn’t even sure if she was still falling at all!

Very, very cautiously, Minty opened her eyes. She was floating in the air, covered in sparkly pink glowing light. And there, just a few feet away, were her friends! Kimono was staring at her in what looked like grateful panic, and Rarity was concentrating hard, a pink light wrapping around her unicorn horn that matched the one around Minty. Ten seconds later Minty was back on the ground, just where she’d fallen from, and the rocks were solid and the sun was shining and Skywishes’ wish could still come true and Kimono was embracing her tightly and Rarity was grinning and she was alive alive alive alive alive! She laughed in purest delight, and they joined her, and all three ponies stood there laughing together for half a minute at least.

“That was fun!” said Rarity, punctuating her words with an innocent giggle. “Let’s do it again!”

Minty shook her head rapidly, the laughter drained out of her by the very thought. “Eheh, wow, let’s really really not, okay?” Kimono muttered something in quiet agreement. “Uh, what just happened, anyway? I was all surrounded in light!”

Rarity posed proudly, head turned toward the sky. Her mane, even dried off from the river, was nothing but curls, but they did their best to blow dramatically behind her anyhow. “I used my magic!” she said. “Cheerilee always said I have a lot of it, and I guess I do! Whoah!”

Minty tilted her head as best she could while still being hugged by Kimono. Her body still hurt from all the times it had smashed against the mountainside, and Kimono wasn’t really helping, but right then it just felt too good to be safe and secure. But… “Magic?” she asked. “You can do magic?”

“Uh, duh? That’s what my horn’s for! Why don’t you guys have one? They’re super useful, and your heads look really boring!”

Minty pulled herself free from Kimono and took a closer look at Rarity’s horn. It was curvy like some shells that she’d found before, a little paler pink than the coat below it, and about as long as a muzzle. She’d definitely never seen anypony with one of them before. “I dunno!” she said. “How did you get yours? Is there a horn store where you come from?”

Rarity burst out laughing. “Of course not! Everypony in Unicornia’s born with one! Mine’s really short, because I’m actually a bunch younger than I act, but Cheerilee says it’ll probably be even longer than hers when I’m an adult. I can’t wait!”

Rarity, Minty couldn’t help but notice, was very small. And she didn’t act so old either, but Minty supposed she wasn’t really one to talk about that, so she held her tongue. It was an unusual sensation. “Who’s Cheerilee?” she asked instead.

“She’s my teacher! She’s the purple band of the rainbow, and hey, waaaaaaaait a minute!” Rarity glared up at Minty, her mouth set in a ridiculously exaggerated frown. “Nice try, weird clumsy green hornless pony! …if that is your real name! I’m not talking to anypony but your Princess, got it? You two might be spies for King Sombra, even if you’re acting nice.”

Minty gasped. “I’m not a spy! And gosh, Kimono here’s probably like double not a spy, right, Kimmy? And if we were spies, why would you trust anypony we brought you to see, huh?”

“Uh, hello?” Rarity smirked back at her. “Princesses are beautiful and perfect, so she can’t be a spy.”

Kimono chuckled softly, and they both turned to look at her. “Ah, my young friend, were it so simple! Princess Morning Glory was not beautiful at all, for instance, and neither she nor Princess Ivy were at all perfect. Nor the others, perhaps, but those two were surely the most obvious examples, no?”

“Huh?” Rarity started fidgeting, rocking back and forth on her hooves from one side to the other. Minty looked nervously downwards, but fortunately they were all a reasonable distance from the nearest edge. “Ivy and Morning Glory?” she continued. “I’ve never heard of those ponies before. I guess they could be ugly if you want, but that probably just means they were just some dumb imitation princesses, not real proper ones. Hey, green pony, your Princess Wysteria’s beautiful, right? Yeah? There you go!”

“Never heard of…?” Kimono’s brow furrowed, and she looked almost cross. Minty looked back and forth between the two nervously. “But they were the chief antagonists in my tale! I spent all the first portion of our journey telling you about them. Weren’t you listening?”

Rarity looked up the mountainside and jumped onto the next boulder up. “I was listening, I was listening! And if I wasn’t, it’s not my fault; your story was just too boring. Come on, let’s go! The sun’s gonna set or something if we don’t hurry up. Uh… if the sun can still set. Come on!”

The Ponyville ponies shared a worried look and began to follow after her. Minty still hurt all over from her fall, but the pain had mostly quieted down to a dull background sensation, and she could still walk and climb okay. Besides, thinking about whether Wysteria was ‘beautiful’ or not had made Minty more excited to go see her. Come to think of it, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d gotten to see Wysteria, now that she lived in a mountain instead of taking care of flowers all day. She guessed she might have caught a glimpse of her at the Winter Wishes Festival, or the magical music show, or something like that, but she’d been pretty distracted them. So really… just the coronation, then, five months ago? Gee. Now she felt like a really icky friend.

“If there is one thing I dislike,” said Kimono, very quietly, “it’s a pony who does not listen.”

“Aww!” Minty nuzzled her briefly with an unscraped area of her head. “I thought your story was cool! Even if it could have used more socks.”

Kimono laughed. “I’m afraid a Princess of Socks has never been in the cards, my friend, but thank you. I only hope that Wysteria will prove as willing to listen as you did.”


It took about seven more minutes for them to reach the right plateau. The mountain continued for what looked like forever above them, covered in rocks and bushes and strange-looking trees, and Minty was quite relieved to hear they didn’t have to climb the rest of the way up. There was a patch of pretty orange flowers nearby, but Kimono directed their attention to a large hole in the ground, with a gritty stone staircase appearing to lead deep down in the mountain’s insides. Minty looked down the hole cautiously, but there was nothing but darkness and more stairs to be seen.

“This is where Pinkie Pie and Princess Wysteria fell in,” said Kimono. “Since then, we’ve done some work together to make a proper staircase. There are those who would enjoy a slippery slide through the darkness—I suspect, my friend, you might be among them—but it is not for all, and a Princess’s castle must be welcoming.”

“Castle?!” Rarity skipped over from the flowers, which she had been sniffing delightedly. “There’s a whole castle in there? A stone castle?”

Kimono smiled faintly. “Not yet, young one. Princess Wysteria’s redecoration efforts have been limited to these steps and many, many stone flowers. But perhaps someday it will improve, especially if the citizens of Ponyville lend a helping hoof.”

“Ooh, flowers?” Minty lay flat on her stomach to get a better look down the hole, but it really was too dark to see anything. “Flowers made of rocks? Do we get to see them?”

“Of course, my friend!” Kimono turned to face Rarity, and gestured carefully towards the hole. “If our unicorn friend will kindly provide us with some light, we can see all there is to see.”

Minty looked at Rarity in confusion. She had had a vague sense that Wysteria now lived specifically inside the mountain, and she’d wondered how that worked and how they were supposed to find her, but Kimono’s story and the dangerous trek up the mountainside had replaced those questions in her head. None of them seemed to have any torches or anything, though, Rarity least of all. She was just opening her mouth to ask a question when Rarity’s horn began to sparkle again, and a big pink glow appeared around it, shifting constantly but staying full and bright.

“Oh, gosh!” Minty dashed forward and tried to stare at the magical light from all directions. “That’s so cool! It’s bright! It’s dazzling! It’s awesome! It’s magic! It’s… pink.”

“Yeah, I like pink!” Rarity looked like she was enjoying herself, twisting her head around to give Minty ever views of her glowing horn. “Don’t you like pink?”

Minty leapt up in the air a little. It was just as bright from above! “Oh, pink’s okay, I guess!” she said, panting just a bit in excitement. “Eheh, it’s no green, though. Can you do a green light too?!”

“No, I’m a pink unicorn, not a green one! The only green unicorn I know is Feeling Flitter, and she, uh, she, um, gee…” Rarity’s face fell, and she sat dejectedly on the stony ground, though her horn continued to shine above her head despite her sudden mood change. “She’s okay, I guess. I want to go see Wysteria. Can we see Wysteria now? Please?”

“Of course,” said Kimono. “If you’ll follow me, your light will let me lead the way.”

The underground staircase was long and twisting, but felt positively quick after climbing up the mountain to begin with. It also helped that there was so much to look at along the way. The steps themselves were carved very unevenly, but the walls of the staircase were completely covered in stone flowers of all shapes and sizes. Minty, who was once again bringing up the rear, was no gardener, but Wysteria had always been, and these stone walls were every bit as pretty and varisome as the gardens she had tended before becoming their almighty princess. Desert Rose had taken over tending to Wysteria’s flowers, but Minty didn’t think they were quite as pretty under Dezzy’s care as they’d been before.

Really, the only thing missing from these wallflowers (heheh) was the colors. The flowers in Ponyville came in even more colors than Rainbow Dash, but these were all the same: dark gray, made pink by Rarity’s magical glowing horn. It was a very peaceful sight, but it was still missing some of the normal excitement of a flowerbed. And she supposed she also missed the sunlight, which was what really made a day of lying happily in the flowers complete. Of course, Minty realized, if she found herself missing the sun and colors just after looking at the rocks for a few minutes, what must Wysteria think…?

But that was a really sad thought, and she bet nopony wanted to hear it. “Hey, Kimono!” she called instead. “These flowers look super-great. Gee, you and Wysteria must have put a whole lot of time into them!”

“Yes… few hooves make heavy work, but we have managed.”

Minty clicked her tongue in worry. Kimono sounded peeved again, and this time Rarity hadn’t been not listening to any of her stories to set her off. “Are you okay, Kimmy?”

“Fine, Minty.” Minty froze for half a second—Kimono didn’t always call everypony ‘my friend,’ but that time had sounded awfully deliberate. “My reasons for displeasure are none of your concern.”

Minty sighed and looked down at her pinker-than-usual hooves. No matter how smart and clever Kimono was, she was wrong. It was totally Minty’s concern. She really didn’t want to lose another friend.

At the bottom of the staircase was a huge, round, nearly empty cavern. It was lit by itself, so Rarity’s magic glow faded away, leaving them all to look around while their eyes adjusted to light that wasn’t pink. The cavern’s sides were engraved with yet more flowers, and the floor was large and uneven, rising and falling in various places and colored somewhere between blue and green. Princesses sure had strange floors. It didn’t quite feel like stone, either, though Minty couldn’t tell what it did feel like. At the center of the chamber sat a familiar pony, who appeared to be staring downwards morosely. Her shoulders were slumped, and her hooves clutched a large green book.

Kimono stepped forward into the cavern. “Princess Wysteria!” she called, sounding more cheerful than she had in the staircase. “Your sage bids you welcome!”

“Oh, Kimono, hello!” The pony—Princess Wysteria, of course—leapt to her hooves and galloped to Kimono, wrapping her in a hug. Princess Wysteria was probably the most elegant-looking pony Minty knew, with a lovely soft voice, kind turquoise eyes, and an almost-pale purple coat. Her symbol was a bunch of little flowers—wisteria blossoms, Minty assumed—but that all paled beside her mane and tail, which were long, utterly straight, and silky, and flowed freely through the air at even the faintest hint of a breeze. They were the same color as her coat, but ranged from the darkest of purples to almost white, and they made Kimono’s own purple mane look quite dull in comparison as the two ponies embraced. Many times Minty had seen Daffidazey reach over and start tending to Wysteria’s mane even without meaning to. Minty grabbed a bit of her own mane, forever bright pink and untamable, and glared at it.

“I didn’t know you were visiting today,” Princess Wysteria was saying. “Am I forgetting something? Or is this a social call?”

“Neither, I’m afraid,” said Kimono, and Minty could just barely see her frown. “Well, I suppose it is the Rainbow Celebration tomorrow.”

“Oh, hooray, hooray!” Princess Wysteria clapped her hooves in delight, and Minty again watched jealously as her mane billowed gracefully out around her. “I love the Rainbow Celebration! Oh, I suppose it’s no Spring Parade, for example, but it is a party, and where there are parties, there are flowers!” She stopped and placed a sudden hoof on her chin. “Kimono… do you suppose princesses can command anyone? Could I give Pinkie Pie a royal order to create more parties?”

“That might not be necessary, your highness.”

“Oh, I know, I know.” Princess Wysteria laughed lightly. “But I do love the parties. As Ponyville’s Only Princess, I’m expected to attend, so I get to see all my wonderful friends! …I mean subjects.”

Kimono cleared her throat. “Yes, your highness, but…”

Princess Wysteria cut her off, exclaiming “Rainbowberries!” Minty remembered Wysteria as quiet and reserved, but now she seemed so excited, her words all but a joyful flood. Minty supposed that she mustn’t have many opportunities to talk to anypony, cooped up here with only her supposed dragon, wherever it was. “The Rainbow Celebration’s all about rainbowberries, isn’t it? Do you think Sweetberry would let me pick them with her, like we used to? I know, Princesses Do Not Dig In The Dirt, but they’ll be on bushes, and it’ll be a party, and oh, just this once…”

“I’m sure your subjects would grant you any request.” Kimono pointed behind her. “Look, I brought you a familiar face!”

Minty!” Princess Wysteria rushed forward again and gave Minty her own hug to match Kimono’s. She smelled of lavender and bubbling fountains, and Minty wondered if all princesses automatically smelled perfect or if Princess Wysteria was really just that elegant. Her coat was short, yet soft and fluffy, which only compounded the question. “Oh, Minty, how are you?”

“Oh, eheh, I’m all right!” Minty reached up to scratch the back of her neck with one hoof. “I’ve had one hay of a day, though! Sweetberry and I had a fight, and I fell in a river, and gee, I fell off a mountain too! I mean, gosh!”

“Oh, Minty, Minty, Minty.” Princess Wysteria smiled at her warmly as she withdrew the hug. “You were always so adventurous! Did you bring any of the others with you?” She blinked quickly three times in a row, apparently realizing what she’d said. “Oh, I mean, not that I don’t like you! But it’s been so long since anyone besides Kimono, and, I’d hoped maybe Daisyjo, or…”

Minty patted her, knowing it was an awkward move but not sure what else to do. “Don’t worry, your princessness,” she said. “Gee, I mean, I’m kind of used to it.”

Princess Wysteria gasped the faintest of quiet gasps. “Used to what…? What do you mean?”

Five months. Five months was how long it’d been since plain old friendly gardener Wysteria had become Princess Wysteria, ruler of Equestria (or maybe of Ponyville… her title wasn’t very clearly defined). But Minty had ruined the Winter Wishes Festival only three months ago, and Princess Wysteria had long since moved into the mountain by then. So if she was asking what Minty meant, then that implied she didn’t know! And if her almighty monarch, who probably had all sorts of powers to exile her or banish her or even send her away forever, didn’t know that she’d done anything wrong, well, Minty couldn’t see any reason to change that. Granted, her conscience wasn’t on board, but surely not getting banished was more important.

“Never mind!” she said, not looking at Kimono in case she might disapprove. “No big deal. Ooh, hey, but we did bring you somepony else! Meet Rarity the unicorn!” She looked around the cavern. “Uh… where is she?”

“Hiding!”

“You can come out, young Rarity,” said Kimono. “It’s safe here, and this is the Princess Wysteria that we told you of. Remember, the pony whom you had your message for?”

Princess Wysteria’s face brightened. “Oh, do come out! I love meeting new friends, I mean, subjects.” Her eyes twinkled a little. “I’ll even let you look at my princess book, if you like.”

“Oh… okay!” Rarity stepped into view from the entry staircase, where she’d evidently been hiding. She looked even smaller than usual inside the massive cavern. “Hi, Princess!”

“Please, just Wysteria.”

“Hi Princess Wysteria!”

“No… oh, well, close enough. Hello, Rarity.”

Rarity giggled. “No, no, that’s not how royalty talk. Cheerilee would scold you for forgetting my title! Maybe you need a Cheerilee of your own.” She trotted forwards and held out one hoof, which might have looked extremely regal from an older pony. “Come on, try it again. Say ‘hello, Princess Rarity.’ ”


Everypony gasped as one, except of course Rarity, who just giggled some more. “Whoah!” she said. “You guys look funny with your mouths open! Didn’t I mention I was a princess before?”

Kimono was the first to recover, and bowed herself low to the ground. Minty quickly followed suit, absently trying to remember what Rarity smelled like. “You did not, your highness. Please forgive me for calling you ‘young one’ and the like.”

“Oh, that’s okay!” said Rarity, though Minty couldn’t tell what she was doing while staring at the ground. “Princess Wysteria and I have to call each other by our proper titles, but you ponies can say whatever you want. Uh, except ‘Rarity the unicorn.’ That’s just kinda dumb.”

Princess Wysteria gasped a second time. “You do have a horn! Kimono, I thought you said the unicorns were all gone!”

Kimono raised herself from the ground, again followed by Minty, who sat back on a particularly comfortable part of the weird floor to listen to the conversation. “I did,” said Kimono. “And I thought I was right. This young princess has quite a story to tell, I believe, but one she insisted was only for your ears.”

“You can say anything you want in front of Kimono and Minty!” said Princess Wysteria, and Minty grinned at her gratefully. “I trust them.”

Rarity frowned and furrowed her brow, obviously not totally convinced. “Well… all right, then! You’re Princess Wysteria, so I trust you, so I trust anypony you trust. I guess I’d better start from the beginning, huh?

“Like I said, my name’s Rarity, and I’m the princess of Unicornia. That’s the name of our city. We live way north from here, I think, by a bunch of mountains. We have lots of fun and bounce on giant bubbles and stuff, but Cheerilee—she’s my teacher—says we also have to be really serious, because unicorns are in charge of the whole world. My dad and mom move the sun and moon around and around every day, for example, and lots of us handle the clouds and rain and stuff, and because I’m the princess, I’m in charge of rainbows!

“Every year, me and Cheerilee and Brights Brightly and Whistle Wishes—those are some more unicorns, they’re yellow and blue—get together and put our horns together and make the first rainbow of spring. It has all our four colors, and if we don’t do it, there won’t be any more rainbows for the whole year! You girls were talking about some kind of ‘Rainbow Celebration,’ so I guess you see it all the way down here too. But, uh, it looks like that won’t be happening this year… or the sun and moon… uh, or anything else.

“See, mom and dad try and keep me out when they’re talking about politics, but I’m a really good hider. So I know there’s this place called the Crystal Empire up in the mountains above Unicornia, which is supposed to be where these ‘jewel ponies’ live. And then this guy called ‘King Sombra’ showed up recently and took over the whole Crystal Empire, so now all the jewel ponies are his slaves. I can kinda see why dad didn’t want me snooping, but come on! I’m the princess! I’ve gotta know about this stuff, right?

“I wasn’t too worried, ’cause me and Cheerilee and the others had the first rainbow to think about! But then, this morning, he… King Sombra…” Rarity faltered, blinked, and stopped talking. She stared at the ground, and Minty could see her eyes beginning to water.

Princess Wysteria came to Rarity’s side and put a hoof around her. “There, there,” she said. “Don’t worry. Tell us in your own time.”

“No, I’m trying, I’m trying!” said Rarity. She wiped her face and stomped one hoof. “Sombra invaded Unicornia and captured everypony but me!” Everyone gasped again. “Yeah! He was coming for me too, so I made a run for it on top of the castle, and when I got to the edge, I jumped! And I jumped, and I jumped, and I just kept jumping, until whoah, I landed in some river. And then when I woke up, I was in this pony’s net!” She pointed at Kimono. “So I’m all right, but Sombra’s probably going to come here next, and if you’re in charge, you’d better do something to stop him! Because Cheerilee… and Brights Brightly, and my parents, and…”

Rarity burst into tears. Kimono quickly joined Princess Wysteria at her side, and after a few seconds Minty did too, and they all stood silently while Rarity wept and sobbed and occasionally muttered names, which Minty guessed must belong to more of the lost unicorns from Unicornia. That was really sort of a silly name, wasn’t it? Not nearly as good as Ponyville, which… okay, never mind.

By the time Rarity had calmed down, Wysteria’s face was thoughtful. She looked down. “Spike, what do you make of all this?”

Minty raised her eyebrows. “Spike? Who’s Spike? Wait, is he your dragon? That sounds like a dragon name! Oh, where is he?”

Suddenly the floor bucked and rolled beneath them. “Right here,” said a deep voice, and from the featureless floor emerged an enormous head with big orange ears, huge long purple spikes, and immense blue-green eyes. Minty and Rarity took one look at the head and screamed. The enormous head opened its own mouth too, but after several long seconds of screaming, Minty realized that it wasn’t roaring, but laughing.

“Ah ha ha ha… I never get tired of that!” The face, which Minty supposed must belong to the dragon, whose body she realized was actually the entire floor of the cavern, grinned hugely, displaying its enormous silvery fangs in the process. “Ah, but dear me, where are my manners? Hello, girls. My name is Master Kenbroath Gillspotten Heathspike… but as subjects of Princess Wysteria, you may call me simply Spike.”

“Hey! I’m not anypony’s subject!” yelled Rarity, startled out of her screaming.

“How right you are, Princess!” Spike’s voice was old and dangerous, like a massive forge, yet Minty couldn’t deny that he sounded more amused than angry. “Princess Rarity of Unicornia, welcome! I hope you and Princess Wysteria of Ponyville get along fabulously.”

“I’m sure we will, Spike,” said Princess Wysteria. “Spike… does this sound familiar? Unicornia, the Crystal Empire, King Sombra?”

Spike snorted, and Minty felt her mane stand on end from the rush of air. Princess Wysteria’s mane and tail merely streamed behind her beautifully. “They must be from past my time, Princess! Although the Crystal Empire does sound familiar, except I thought it was the purse ponies who lived there. A lot of names can change in a thousand years!”

Kimono nodded. “But you had instructions from far-seeing Princess Crystal. Was there no mention of any of this?”

“Only of Princess Rarity.” Princess Wysteria looked shocked, and Spike nodded, which was very impressive for a head the size of Minty’s house. “I’m sorry, Princess; I haven’t been entirely truthful with you. Crystal’s prophecy stated that two Princesses would rule Equestria, not just one. But now the other Princess has arrived, and you both can live happily ever after! Ah, Bartleby! Ah, Equinity! …no, wait, I believe that last part’s from a different story altogether.”

“He does that a lot,” Princess Wysteria whispered to Minty. “But he’s really mostly very nice, I promise.”

Minty gulped. She didn’t think she liked that ‘mostly’ part. “So what are you gonna do?”

“Yes, your highness,” said Kimono. “Rarity says that Ponyville may soon—or already!—be in danger. What is your plan?”

My plan?” Princess Wysteria stared at them both in terror. “I’m a gardener! Why would I have a plan against somepony who just took over two entire cities!?”

The-floor-that-was-Spike shifted, and the ponies all fell over from the sudden movement. “Ah, ah,” said Spike, sounding disappointed. “You’re not a gardener. Not anymore! You’re a Princess now, ever since you picked that flower, and Princesses Protect Their Subjects.”

“Oh, that’s not my point at all!” Wysteria groaned. “Spike, of course I want to protect my fr—subjects! Being a princess doesn’t change that. But all I know how to do is plant flowers. I need somepony clever, like Kimono here, or Puzzlemint, and we’d need to be in Ponyville to do anything, and…” She stopped. “Spike, I need to go to Ponyville.”

“Princess, Princess, Princess.” Spike sounded more disappointed than ever, though at least he didn’t sound inclined to do anything violent. “You can’t go to Ponyville whenever you like! Princesses Stay In Their Castles, except for during special festivities, when they put in royal appearances to gladden the common heart! You have been reading your princess book, haven’t you?”

Princess Wysteria looked like she was about to cry, so Minty gave her a little squeeze. “I have, I have, I promise. But… you want me to protect my subjects, and to stay here? How am I supposed do that?”

“I’m sure you’ll find a way! Princesses are very clever. Wait, let me try that again… Princesses Are Very Clever. Yes, that came out quite nicely! Goodness, I wish I could add it to the book. Hmm hmm hmm, if I weren’t so huge, but I suppose that’s what happens when you sleep for a thousand years…”

“Princess Wysteria…” Kimono sighed. “It’s all right if you stay here, really. I’m sure your subjects will understand, and—“

Princess Wysteria sobbed. “I don’t… I don’t care what my subjects think!” Her voice was small but insistent. “I care what my friends think, and I care what I think, and that’s what should be important! I’m a princess!”

“And because of that,” said Spike, “you are far less free than anypony else.”

“Hey, what about me!?” asked Rarity. She kicked angrily at Spike, with no obvious effect. “I left my home, didn’t I? Why the hay can’t Princess Wysteria do that too?”

“Of course you did, Princess Rarity! It’s perfectly acceptable for a Princess to flee a place that is being invaded, or when she’s being held captive by a cruel monster. To leave whenever she selfishly wants to, however, even if her kingdom may be in danger at some point in the future… that’s not proper at all!”

As the argument boiled around her, Minty looked thoughtfully at Princess Wysteria. Minty had had some experience recently being unhappy, and wanting her friends back, and it felt like poor Princess Wysteria was in pretty much the same situation. But she hadn’t lost her friends because they hated her… she’d lost them because she’d become their ruler, and they didn’t think they were her friends anymore, only her subjects.

And, that she realized, was what Kimono had been angry about, wasn’t it? Kimono believed that Princess Wysteria—no, just ‘Wysteria’ was fine, like she’d said—really was one of the two Princesses from that prophecy thing, but she was also Wysteria’s friend, and she knew that Wysteria was unhappy living like this. She knew that, because she didn’t see Wysteria only when she was making ‘royal appearances’ at Ponyville’s various parties and doing her best to look happy because Princesses Look Happy or something. And she wished more ponies would come and visit Wysteria, because she was their friend, and she’d said as much only Minty hadn’t understood it at the time.

As for what Wysteria herself wanted, that was obvious. She wanted to go back to Ponyville, even if none of her friends besides maybe Kimono had ever realized that. But now Minty had a chance to make it up to her a little and be a better friend, if she could only find some way to get around Spike, who she was sure could crush them all in a moment if he wanted. Kimono had said that he was trapped inside the mountain forever, so he wouldn’t be able to chase them, but she still didn’t see any way of getting Wysteria out of the cavern and up the stairs without his approval.

So what did Spike want? He was really confusing, because he had all his rules about proper behavior and that was all he wanted to talk about. But he had to like Wysteria, didn’t he? She couldn’t imagine gentle Wysteria staying here all this time unless they at least got along. And he had said, almost without prompting, that Princesses Protect Their Subjects, so maybe he wanted the same thing Minty did: an excuse to get Wysteria out of the castle, where she could help her friends any way that she could. If she was right, then all Minty had to do was find a hole in his rules that would make Wysteria’s leaving proper.

It was the Rainbow Celebration tomorrow, naturally, but it only lasted a few hours, and she doubted that Spike would accept that as an excuse for Wysteria’s leaving permanently. So what were the other options? ‘It’s perfectly acceptable for a Princess to flee a place that is being invaded,’ he’d said, or…

“Spike!”

The giant dragon looked down at her. “Yes? Let me see, you were… Minty, yes?”

“Yep, that’s me! You said Wysteria could leave somewhere if there was a monster holding her captive, right?”

“If there were a monster. Grammar, please!” Spike rolled his enormous eyes. “But yes, that would be proper.”

“Well,” she continued, “would a giant dragon that won’t let her leave count?”

Spike made a choking sound, and seemed to think about it. Minty looked nervously around her. Kimono looked very impressed; Wysteria was staring at her hopefully through tear-stained eyes; Rarity looked bored. “Well…” said Spike eventually, “yes. Why, yes, I suppose it would. Princesses Don’t Rescue Themselves, however! She’d need a Prince or some other Hero to come and save her.”

“Gee, is that all?” Minty giggled happily. “I’m a hero.”

There was a long silence as everyone stared at her. Wysteria choked out a request for Minty to tell her someday exactly what had been happening while she’d been holed up in the mountain. Even Rarity was now interested. “What do you mean, my friend?” asked Kimono.

“Heheh, wow. Normally when everyone’s looking at me, it’s because I broke something!” Minty smiled, almost nostalgic. “See, before I accidentally visited Kimono, I was talking to Skywishes, and she made one of her extra special wishes that always come true that I would do something that’d make me a hero! I had no idea what I was gonna do, but gosh, rescuing a princess from a dragon sounds pretty heroic to me, right?”

Spike continued to look at her, and Minty began to worry that he might be about to set her on fire, assuming he could even do that. He tilted his head back, and she flinched, but instead of flames all that came from his mouth was wave after wave of laughter, loud enough to flatten them all against his scaly back. “Ah ha ha ha!” he cried, finally calming down. “Heroic indeed! Very well, little Minty! You have my permission to rescue Princess Wysteria from me.”

“Thanks!” Minty punched a hoof into the air in victory, but then froze as another question occurred to her. “Uh… you aren’t going to fight me to keep her, are you? Like, I have no idea how I could fight you, and…”

“No, no, not at all!” Spike leaned forward and winked enormously. “I rather like her, you know. She wants to be among her subjects, and now there’s a proper way to do that, why should I stand in her way?”

Wysteria smiled. “Thank you, Spike. I… I like you too, you know, and I’ll bring your princess book along. I hope you won’t be too lonely up here, and I promise I’ll visit you when this is all over.”

“Ha ha, don’t worry about me! Go save your subjects, Princess, and whatever happens to you on the way, in this enchanted place on the top of this mountain, a little boy and his Bear will always be playing… no, no, that’s the wrong story again.” He sighed. “Well, I’ll manage somehow.”

“Let’s go, let’s go!” said Rarity, the pink light already forming around her horn again. “King Sombra could show up at any time!”

“Well done, my friend,” said Kimono. “I can only hope for wisdom like you have shown here today.”

“Thank you, Minty,” said Wysteria, and kissed her on the cheek, leftover tears mixing in with the wetness of the kiss. “Let’s go help my friends… I mean my subjects… no, I mean my friends!”

Minty grinned, excited and also very embarrassed.

Author's Note:

Esoteric details: all the thousand-years-ago names (which is to say, two thousand years before Twilight Sparkle) are G2 ponies. Adventurous Sundance was renamed in later releases to Sunsparkle, and at one point Queen Sunsparkle; she did indeed discover the Rainbow Forest. The Purse Ponies' names all began with "Glitter," which is as close as you can get to crystal-themed in a generation where every pony had jewels in their eyes. Princess Silver Swirl and the other five Princesses were the first wave of G2 Princess Ponies; Silver Swirl and Twinkle Star were actually G2's first unicorn and pegasus, not last, but artistic license strikes again. G2 was the only generation not to have a dragon character called Spike, but it did have exactly one dragon: an unnamed animal companion, belonging to Princess Silver Swirl. G3 Rarity was frequently referred to in merchandise as "Rarity the Unicorn," presumably to make it very very clear that she had a horn. G3 had very few unicorns released at all... the number of animation-only background unicorns outstrips the number of canon ones by a fair margin, but "Feeling Flitter" (I suspect, a fan nickname) is still the only green unicorn ever seen (albeit only briefly). Spike references Bartleby, the Scrivener and Winnie-the-Pooh.