Twilight Plays Card Games Not On Motorcycles

by DarkAura

It's Time to Duel

An impatient hoof tapped the ground repeatedly, which was connected to an impatient pony, awaiting for her friend to be done already. This pony was Twilight Sparkle.

Growing antsier and antsier by the minute, she threw her head up and moaned for a good three seconds. Can't she go any faster? Twilight thought. I actually have somewhere to be. The truth was, it wasn't anything important Twilight might've been late for. In fact, it was just a simple game. A filly's card game, to be precise. But this game was a game she felt slightly embarrassed to tell her friends about, not because of its reputation to have a directed demograph of fillies when in reality many grown mares and stallions are ever so obsessed with it. No, it was because she felt she didn't know enough about Duel Monsters yet. She only started playing a week ago, and she preferred to wait until she had enough expertise so she'd be able to explain the concept to her friends, to make them understand it better.

She shook her head. Now was not the time to be thinking about the game until she actually got back to the library. A glance at the clock on one of the walls told her it had been fifteen minutes since Pinkie started up on the batch. Too long for a pony like Pinkie, she decided, so she finally yelled out. "Pinkie, come on already!"

"Coming~" Just like that, Pinkie came through the door and threw the cupcakes in the air. Before Twilight could scream out, the cupcakes landed ever so neatly on the counter in front of her, and Pinkie rang the bell. "Whoo! A baker's dozen cupcakes made in record time! That's how Sugarcube Corner represents!"

Twilight quickly surveyed the cupcakes. "Pinkie, there's only eleven. A baker's dozen has thirteen."

"I know!" Pinkie licked her lips. "So Twilight, what do you need these cupcakes for anyway?" With a gasp, she said, "Oh! Don't tell me you made me make them so you could share them with us! Oh Twilight, you shouldn't have!" She reached for a(nother) cupcake, but Twilight immediately shot a small magic zap at her, making Pinkie reel her hoof back.

"No Pinkie," she said with a sigh. "These aren't for you." She levitated the cupcakes into a box and sealed it.

"Then why'd you make me make them?"

Twilight was taken aback by the question. It would seem peculiar to everyone that she had Pinkie bake thirteen cupcakes if Twilight was the only one who was actually there to be able to eat food. Then again, it seemed weird to her too. She became lost in thought at the concept of her getting food for the sake of keeping up a little facade about doing something other than playing a filly's card game. Pinkie waved a hoof in her face.

"Hello!" said Pinkie, her hooves still waving long after Twilight had snapped out of her thoughts. "Didn't you hear me? What's the super duper biggy wiggy occasion for cupcakes? A wedding? A birthday? A divorce- oh, wait, that's not something to make cupcakes about. Maybe more like brownies!"

Fortunately, Twilight had a lie all planned out. Unfortunately, she was a horrible liar, not to mention how she wasn't actually used to lying to her friends, nor did she like doing so. "It's because... um..." Her mind went blank. She had completely forgotten her lie. Her eyes surveyed the area, trying to find something to make a different excuse out of. "Uh..." Her eyes landed on a flower pot. "Flooower... Jones, yeah, Flower Jones from my, uh, book club is coming, and I need the cupcakes for a snack of sorts! Yeah, that's it!"

Pinkie gave a long gasp as she jumped in the air. "Ooh, a book club? Can I join? CanICanICanI?!"

"Nope, no, sorry, can't!" Twilight said frantically. "We have too many members already." She turned her horn to the box of cupcakes, levitating it up in the air. "I'll see you tomorrow Pinkie. And thanks for the cookies!"

"Cupcakes."

"Yeah, that," she said, walking out of Sugarcube Corner and heading to the library, her pace quickening as she got closer.

---

"Spi-ike!" Twilight yelled upon entering the library.

"Yeah Twilight?" Spike said as he entered from the upstairs, stretching his arms. It was obvious he had just awoken from a nap, or was about to fall asleep. With a yawn, he said, "What'dya need?"

"I need you to go to Canterlot and retrieve a scroll for me," she said as she set the box of cupcakes down on a table.

Spike was about to protest asking why she couldn't do it, but he thought better of himself. After all, he was Twilight's faithful assistant, and it wouldn't be very faithful to decline a simple request like that, now would it. He saluted and said, "Roger! But uh... What does the scroll look like?"

"Oh believe me," she chuckled, "You'll know when you see it."

With a nod, Spike left the library. Twilight stood there for a full minute, just to make sure he was gone. When she was absolutely sure that he had left, she closed the door and locked it, sighing afterwards. She didn't like lying to her number one assistant, but she was absolutely sure Spike just wouldn't understand how Twilight could love playing a card game, despite there being situations where, time and time again, Spike would always be by her side. Spike was never a dragon to belittled anypony, but Twilight's paranoia got the best of her.

She pushed those thoughts to the back of her head. Using her magic on the box of cupcakes yet again, she walked with it to the basement, where she set the box down briefly and shot a fleck of magic at a seemingly random spot in the dark room.

Instantly, the room burst with light and a door appeared. Through the door, there was a large room, littered with boxes. What those boxes contained, only Twilight knew. She approached the middle of the room, where a mat was placed, one side being red, the other blue. Little rectangular markings were on each side, as if it was a mini playing field.

Twilight stomped her hooves twice on the ground, which turned on the lights. The mat was indeed a playing field. She set the cupcakes down as she sat down on the blue side. Using more of her magic, she levitated one of the boxes to her. Opening the box revealed a deck of brown cards. She levitated those up and separated them in half. She set the two halves on each side of the playing field.

Twilight took a deep breath. "Alright... If I recall this spell correctly, this should work." She pointed her horn at the empty player spot on the other side of the mat and concentrated. For weeks, she had been trying to perfect a spell that would allow intellectual artificial intelligence to be her opponent. The AI would've been able to make strategic moves that'd give Twilight a challenge. Oh, how she loved a good challenge.

More concentration. Her face twisted with the strain as sweat started to appear from her forehead. Suddenly, an icy feeling appeared on her tail, gradually travelling up her body. This was to be expected, and she most certainly couldn't stop now. She withstood the freezing cold that her body was experiencing and continued concentrating on the empty spot.

Then, as fast as it came, the icy feeling shattered, leaving Twilight feeling warm and fuzzy. She knew she had done it, and then relaxed. Her fuzzy feeling turned into giddy excitement when she saw the holographic image form of a translucent pony with no mane nor tail. The hologram then seemed to have shatter, but what was left was the same translucent pony. Except it wasn't a hologram any more. For the duration of the duel, it would be able to play real cards and have real intelligence. The AI turned to the worn out mare and asked her, in a monotonous and somewhat computerized tone, "Shall we begin?"

She nodded and drew five cards, just as her opponent did. She turned to the AI, fire fueling her determination. Drawing much confidence, she said, "It's time to duel."

Author's Note:

If you've noticed at the beginning, Twilight wondered how weird it was for her to get a full box of cupcakes when she was the only one eating. For anyone even slightly familiar with Duel Monsters, they'd know that to play a game of it requires to people. But at the end, there's an AI, so yes, Twilight's the only one eating. Ha, I know my continuity errors, don't I?

Next chapter should start the duel, provided I can actually write it. I'll try my best to not let this die like the others!

Comments

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Aw no card games on motorcycles, but why?

[DarkAura]

2594662 Have you seen ponies on motorcycles. It's silly as hell. Near impossible, but silly.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

2595313 So it's the same as playing a children's card game on motorcycles. (Played by grown men and women no less).

(Also that last part was a Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged Reference)

[DarkAura]

2595381 Oh, I know Yugioh the Abridged Series. Funny as hell, by the way. And I know that "Card Games on Motorcycles" bit, which is why it's kinda parodied in the title. Besides, as I said, ponies on motorcycles? What kind of crack have they been smoking?