The Life Of D-Pad

by FoxVillain321

Chapter 7: Problematic

“NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO…NO…NO.”

“I know it sounds farfetched…”

I look Lance straight in the eyes.

“You just insinuated that Princess Celestia had a part in removing evidence from the evidence room to help a criminal! OF COURSE IT SOUNDS FARFETCHED!!” I shout.

“So, you have a better idea?” He asks.

…Beating up my fillyfriends dad still illegal, right?

“No…no I don’t.” I grumble.

“Then we don’t really have any other lead, do we?” He states.

“And how are we going to get the information from her? I don’t think she’s just going to admit that she removed evidence from the evidence room willingly.” I say.

“Right…Umm, well…”

He turns away and starts biting his hoof.

“What? Can’t think of anything?” I laugh.

“No, I just don’t know how to tell you that were going to foalnap the princess.” He says, turning back around.

…

“NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!” I shout, shaking my head violently.

“That’s what I figured you were going to do.” He sighs.

“Do you know how insane what your proposing is?!?!” I shout, pushing my head into his. “You want us to foalnap the princess!!”

He stuffs his hoof in my mouth.

“Tell it to everypony, why don’t you!” He growls. “It may be a bad idea, but it will be even worse if somepony overhears us!”

“Point taken…” I whisper. “But I still don’t like this idea. It’s going to get us imprisoned…or worse.”

“Look, I know it’s not a great idea, but like you said, I don’t think she’s going to admit that she took evidence for the trial.” He whispers back.

“Do you even have a plan?” I ask.

“…well, not exactly…” He replies, rubbing the back of his head with his hoof.

I facehoof myself.

“Look, give me a couple of hours and I get something put together. I’ll talk to you later!” He shouts, taking off toward the sky.

…D-Pad, what are you getting yourself into?

“You hardly touched your salad, honey. Is something wrong?” My mom asks me.

6:30…Suppertime…My mom is cleaning up the leftovers off our dining room table. I sit there, flicking through my food.

“No, I’m fine…” I lie.

She sits down next to me.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” She asks.

“I’m fine.” I grumble.

“Honey, I know you’re a grown stallion and all, but I do worry about you.” She says, rubbing my back.

“You don’t need to worry about me…” I mumble.

“I know, but as your mother, it’s my job to worry about you.” She jokes.

I heave a sigh.

“… Lance found something out about the explosion that blew up some of the house.” I admit.

“What exactly did he find out?” my mom asks.

“We think we know who tried to blow me up.” I reply.

She looks at me in question.

“…my fillyfriends dad…”

…

“That’s…quite an accusation.” My mom says, taken aback.

“We aren’t absolutely sure he is the stallion in question, but he’s the only lead we have. We’re trying to figure out how we can prove he did set the explosives up. So far, we haven’t come up with anything.” I explain.

My mom stands me up and looks me straight in the eyes. She puts a hoof on my shoulder.

“D-Pad…I know your upset about this whole ordeal and you want justice, but don’t dig yourself into a hole you won’t be able to get out of. I don’t want you doing something that will get you into trouble.” She says.

“I’m not going to do anything that will get me in trouble…”

I feel a sickening burble in my stomach…So that’s what it feels like to lie right to your mother’s face…

She hugs me.

“Just be careful, I don’t anything to happen to you.” She says.

“Hey, D-Pad!”

Swift Strike walks into the dining room.

“Lance is outside. He wants to talk to you.” He says.

I walk out of my house and over to Lance. We fly a couple meters away from my house.

“That didn’t take long…What do you got for me?” I ask.

“What I got is a way to kidnap the princess.” He says, pulling out a pamphlet.

I take the pamphlet from him and look at it. “Come to the Manehattan Summer Fair.” I read aloud. “Ride the new Ferris wheel. Enjoy our sweet treats directly from our fine citizens. The world famous Ponies! At the Disco will be performing live on Friday. Bring your family and friends for three nights of fun. Don’t miss it. Friday through Sunday. 20 bits admission ponies, 10 bits admission foals.”

I put down the pamphlet. “So? Fine, todays Friday and it starts tonight. How’s this going to help us?” I ask.

“I’m glad you asked.” He replies, pulling out two suit of armor and two helmets worn by the royal guard. “It turns out that Princess Celestia is planning to go to that fair tonight. She is going to be flown there by a two stallion armored escort. Now, I don’t know who, but somepony gave the two escorts false information…” he winks at me. “By the time they realize they got the wrong orders, it will be two weeks too late.”

“Wait…you forged royal documents!?” I shout.

“You learn some interesting tricks when you’ve been raised by a community of criminals.” He states. “Anyway, we have to dress up like the escorts. I “borrowed” the escorts armor and helmets. The escorts are white, so we’re going to have to scrounge up some white fur dye.”

“Sounds easy enough…” I say, shrugging.

“Not so much. The escorts are normal pegasi. We’re gonna need something else…something rather…interesting…” He explains. He starts to grin.

“Interesting? What exactly does that mean?” I ask, concerned.

“You leave that to me. How about you go and find some white fur dye. I have to go find a certain zebra in a certain forest.” He says.

He then flaps his wings and flies away. Weird…he’s heading straight for the Everfree Forest. Huh…well, whatever. I have to go find some white fur dye. That day spa in Ponyville might sell it…

…Day spa…6:35 in the evening…

…CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP!!!

I run back into the house and grab some bits from my earnings jar.

“Goodness! What is going on?!” Windstorm exclaims, staring at me in surprise.

“Sorry mom, be right back! Urgent! Got to go get something!” I shout, galloping out the door

“Sorry sir, we’re closing up for the night. Do come again tomorrow!” The blue spa pony says.

She starts to close the door on the day spa.

“No, wait please! This will only take a second! Do you have any white fur dye? I really need it!” I ask, almost begging.

She opens back up the door. She looks at me in curiosity.

“What in the world do you need white fur dye for?” She asks.

“…A play! We ran out of white fur dye, and the play is tonight!” I lie.

She looks at a clock on the wall. She then sighs.

“How much do you need?” She asks, cheerfully.

“Oh thank you, thank you. We need enough for two pegasi.” I reply.

She disappears into the day spa. After a couple of minutes, she comes back with two large bottles of white fur dye.

“Here you are. That will be 64 bits.” She says.

“Here, take the 75 bits I have. It’s the least I can do.” I say, giving her my bits and picking up the bottles. I then gallop off towards my house.

“Thank you! Have a nice evening! Hope the play goes well!” she bids me farewell.

“I got the white fur dye!” I shout to Lance as I gallop over to him.

“Great and I got our ticket to normal pegasus wings.” He says.

He then pulls out two sealed glass vials of a bright blue liquid.

“What in the name of Equestria is that?” I ask, befuddled.

“This…this is a potion that will turn you into a normal pegasus for 12 hours.” He explains, giving me a vial.

“Cool. So we just drink it?” I say, opening the vial.

“Pretty much.” He replies, opening his own.

“Here’s to good health.” I say, clanging my vial against his.

We both down our liquids. Wow, what a nice minty and sweet flavor. Kind of tastes like blueberry with a hint of peppermi…

I suddenly feel a sharp pain in my wings. I drop to the ground, shouting and wincing in pain. I can hear Lance growling in pain. It feels like somepony is driving nails into my wings. My wings start to feel heavier and larger. The pain begins to fade. I stand back up and look at Lance.

“Oh my Celestia…” I gasp.

Lance's bat wings have been replaced with grey Pegasus wings.

“It worked!” Lance exclaims.

I look over my shoulder. I am greeted by a light yellow, feathery pegasus wing.

“This is…awesome!” I shout with glee. I flap my new wings and fly around for a minute.

“Hey! I know you’re excited, but we still need to look like those escorts! And soon, the Princess is going to be expecting us!” He says grabbing a bottle of white fur dye.

I land back down on the ground.

“Now, hold still for a bit. After I’m done dying you, you dye me.” He says, coating me in dye.

“Hey! Watch the bandages!” I shout as Lance pours dye on me.

“Very stunning! You look just like a royal pegasi guard.” I complement Lance.

“Thanks, you look dashing as well.” He replies.

“What are you going to do about your eyes?” I ask.

“I have contacts I can use. There back at my shack. I’ll be back in a flash. You put that armor on.” He says, flying away.

I put on the armor. Ugh, Celestia this chafes my ass. Seriously, how does the royal guard wear this without getting sores on his rump? I put on the helmet. Wow, it’s surprisingly light. I can move my head freely around.

“Um, excuse me?”

I turn around…

…and come face to face with Octavia.

Oh, boy…well, let’s see if this works.

“Uh, can I help you?” I speak with a low, grumbling voice.

“Yes, did you see a yellow bat-winged pegasus around here? He has green eyes and a videogame controller as a cutie mark. He also has bandages on his…” She stops. She begins looking at the bandages on my body. Oh buck… “On his left legs, body, neck and a bandage on his nose…”

“No ma’am I have not seen him.” I say in my grumbly voice, trying to keep my composure.

She then looks me straight in the eyes. “You look oddly like him…” She then peers at my wings. She shrugs. “Huh, must just be an odd coincidence. If you don’t mind me asking, why do you have the bandages on?”

“Oh, I accidentally crashed into another guard and plummeted to the ground.” I reply in the grumbly voice.

“Ok, well if you see him, could you tell him that his fillyfriend is looking for him and went to his house?” She asks me.

“Yes, miss.” I reply.

She walks away towards my house. Phew, that was a close one. Good thing the armor covers my cutie mark, or my cover would have been blown…Oh hey, here comes Lance.

Lance lands beside me.

“Wow…You look just like a royal guard.” He complements me, putting on his own armor.

I notice he now has normal yellow pony eyes.

“Those are some pretty good contacts. I can’t even tell you have slit pupils.” I comment.

“You have to strive for perfection if you want to blend in.” He quips, putting his helmet on. “Now come on, we have to get to the castle before they suspect something’s up.”

We both take off towards the castle…I still have a bad feeling about this…

We both arrive at the castle. At the bottom of the steps sits the royal carriage. A unicorn guard is standing by the carriage.

“Just in time, men! The princess is almost finished getting ready.” He says.

Another unicorn guard gallops down the steps.

“Attention men! She’s on her way!” The unicorn guard commanded.

Both Lance and I stand at attention. The large castle doors swing open. Out steps the princess herself. She walks down the steps and approaches the both of us. She examines both me and Lance.

I swallow hard. The princess of all of Equestria. The tall white alicorn with magenta eyes, a blue, green, and pink mane, crown and a sun as her cutie mark. And she’s standing right in front of me. And I’m going to foalnap her. I start sweating. My stomach starts churning…I don’t feel so good.

“Goodness, are you feeling okay?” The princess asks.

I shake my head and try to pull myself together.

“I’m okay, I’m just a little nervous. It’s my first time escorting somepony really important.” I reply, rubbing my face.

She walks over to her carriage. Lance hits me in my side. I wince in pain.

“Ow…what was that for?” I growl.

“Cool it! We don’t want to blow our cover. The less talking, the better.” He growls through his smile.

We both saddle ourselves up to the carriage. Princess Celestia steps into the carriage. We gallop forward, flap our wings, and take off toward the sky.

We land near my house.

“Sorry, princess, but my compatriot here isn’t feeling too good. Give him a couple minutes.” Lance says to the princess.

“I didn’t think he was feeling well.” She states, smiling sympathetically.

We unsaddle and walk a few meters away from the princess.

“Lance, what are we doing?” I whimper.

“Keep your cool!” He growls. “We’re in this way too far for you to get cold hooves!”

“I’m not getting cold hooves! I just really don’t like this.” I grumble.

The princess walks over to us.

“Is he going to be okay?” She asks, smiling.

“He’ll be fine. He just needed to breathe.” Lance replies.

“Oh good. I’m glad D-Pad is okay.”

A cold chill flows down my spine. I stare at the princess.

This is not going to end well…

“E-e-excuse me, princess?” Lance stutters nervously.

“I’m just glad D-Pad is okay. I would be very disappointed if he got sick on his first foalnapping attempt, Lance.” Princess Celestia replies.

I hear Lance swallow hard. He starts to sweat profusely.

“I…uh…um…I…well…er…well…”

“It’s fine, this is not the first time I have been foalnapped. I am very surprised at how intricate this plan was! Forging official papers, dyeing your fur, stealing armor, and undergoing a wing transformation.” Princess Celestia complements us.

“I…uh…thanks?” Lance says, confused.

“We…appreciate it?” I add, befuddled

“I will say that I am saddened that you had to stoop so low as to steal the armor and forge royal documents to go with this plan. I am certain that you could have negotiated the trade of armor and reasoned with the original escorts to…”

“No…no…stop.” Lance interrupts. “This is getting way too weird. Our intended victim is criticizing our foalnapping attempt. I’m sorry, but isn’t our captive supposed to be screaming for help?”

“Oh dear…I didn’t realize you wanted me to scream for help. Um…Oh my! I have been captured! Please come rescue me! I am a damsel in distress!” She shouts, placing her hoof on her forehead in a shading manner.

I can’t tell if she’s just humoring us, or if she’s being serious.

“Excuse me miss, but how did you know we were planning to foalnap you?” I ask the princess.

“Oh I knew when a copy of the documents to the trial of Concerto Melody went missing. Lance is the only pegasus who wouldn’t stop looking at the file. He was obsessed with that case.” The princess explains.

“Well…I wouldn’t say obsessed…” Lance comments.

“Nevertheless, when Lance was removed from Luna’s royal guard and the copy went missing, there was only one pony who would have taken it.” She glances at Lance. Lance starts rubbing the back of his head, grinning. “As for how I knew you were involved, I looked into the bombing incident and my sister’s interrogation and noticed that you two formed a bond. Later, after the explosion, both of you revisited some old suspects and found Mr. Melody’s case. You were as curious about the case as he was. I guessing you read the file and know about Mr. Melody’s past experience.”

I nod my head.

“I see…well, after that, I kept tabs on you two. That pretty much sums it all up.” She continues. “Well, I suppose you have some questions regarding the case with me?”

“Oh, uh, yes.” I say. “Well, we’ll go with the big one here: Did you take evidence from the evidence room for the case?”

“…Yes…” She sighs.

…

I finally found the answer to the question that has been nagging both of us. So, why do I feel saddened that it’s true?

“Okay, so why did you take the evidence?” I ask.

“Mr. Melody had found out a certain piece of information that may or may not incriminate me in a very scandalous affair. It was a long time ago, and I only did it because of the circumstances. Believe me; it was better that did it then not doing anything at all. Nevertheless, if the information gets out it could cause widespread pandemonium. He found out about it, and used it as blackmail to get me to steal the evidence to his trial.” She explains.

“What information is it that can’t get out?” I ask.

She glares at me.

“Perhaps that’s not the right question to ask…” I chuckle nervously.

“Do you know where Mr. Melody is?” Lance asks.

“No, he disappeared before the bombing incident. My guards have not seen him since.” She replies.

“Did you ever see what happened to his interrogation victims?” I ask.

“…yes, and I would never want anypony to see what I saw…”She replies grimly.

Perhaps we should avoid pursuing that question

“That’s pretty much all the questions I had.” I say.

She smiles.

“Sorry about ruining your trip.” I apologize.

“Sorry? The night is still young. And I still need escorts.” She replies, smiling.

“You mean…” I begin to say, ecstatic

“First, to make you two more presentable...” She says.

Her horn starts to glow a bright yellow. Lance and I are engulfed in gold auras. The white dye starts dripping off my body, as well as Lance’s. I feel my wings become smaller and lighter. I look back and see my light yellow bat-wings back where they should be. She levitates the armor off of us. The gold aura fades as her horn returns to normal.

“That…was…awesome!” I exclaim.

“D-Pad! There you are!”

I turn to see Octavia trotting over to me.

“Where have you been? I’ve been looking all over for…” She asks.

She then notices Princess Celestia right in front of us.

“Oh my goodness! I-I do hope I’m not interrupting anything.” Octavia says, concerned.

“Oh, no you are fine. Its Octavia Melody isn’t it? I just came to ask your friends here if they would be willing to pull my carriage to the Manehattan Fair. My other escorts got sick, and they offered to help earlier this afternoon.” She explains, winking at us.

“Wow, you guys get to pull royalty? Well, I guess that’s a promotion for you D-Pad.” Octavia jokes.

I laugh at her joke. Then I think of something. “Princess Celestia, would it be okay with you if Octavia came with us?” I ask.

“I would be honored to have her come with us.” Princess Celestia replies.

“Oh, my…thank you very much, princess!” Octavia thanks her, bowing.

Octavia walks over to me and hugs me.

“You are amazing, D-Pad.” She complements me.

She then kisses me on the cheek. I turn a bright red.

She climbs into the royal carriage. Lance and I saddle back up to the carriage.

“Next stop…Manehattan!” I shout.

Lance and I gallop forward, flap our wings, and take off towards the sky.

Comments

[FoxVillain321]

Aaaaaaaaaaaand I just realized that I switched from spelling out the numbers to putting the numbers in the titles...

[Mother3Forever]

Epic. Now, to favorite this....again. Since it didn't work yesterday morning.