Previously, on Empress Theresa:

Theresa the oil baron.

And now:

Chapter Twenty! Eight left! Woohoo!

Three weeks have passed, and Theresa's about to raise the land bridge to Crete. She can't just raise it normally, though, the Mediterranean's too deep. Whatever 'raising it normally' even means in this context anymore.

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Previously, on The Shadow God:

A whole bunch of murder!

And now:

Before we begin, I just want to warn everyone: this chapter contains a depiction of a sexual assault. I'm adding this warning in so it doesn't take anyone who might not be okay with that by surprise. I'm not going to show any of it, but please skip this chapter if you need to. I'll provide a summary of the key points in the beginning of the next chapter for you.

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Previously, on Empress Theresa:

Theresa causes more problems than she solves? Who woulda guessed!

And now:

I spent a sleepless night.  The unfairness of my position kept the tears flowing.

Thus opens the chapter. Theresa is having a hard time supporting all the weight on her shoulders.

Y'know, we could always try throwing Theresa out of an airplane again. That might fix the problem. Worked last time.

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Wheeeeeeee.
Previously, on Empress Theresa:
Fox stares, long hairs, government glares, operator pairs, nobody cares. Oh, and something about aliens. Maybe.
And now:

The strength and throwing accuracy HAL gave me got me on the boys’ baseball team where I was a star pitcher.  I threw the ball up to eighty-five miles an hour, rarely seen in a high school kid and never in a girl.

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Previously, on Empress Theresa:

Mr. Boutin took a filler chapter to shit on France.

And now:

You may be wondering why there's a new chapter today. Well, given the new format, and smaller chapters in the book, entries of this series are going to be kind of short for a while. As such, I've decided to switch to a daily schedule. I hope that's okay with everyone.

Anyway, on with the show!

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Previously, on Empress Theresa:

Theresa decided that winter is optional.

And now:

Hoo boy. That last chapter sure was a doozy, huh? Let's see what Mr. Boutin has in store for us today.

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Previously, on Empress Theresa:
The fatal flaw of wind turbines: the eradication of any and all wind, anywhere on the planet, by an alien. Take that, green energy!
And now:

I was getting depressed.  This BBC program had been giving me nothing but bad news.  Did anything go right in this world?

That's typically how news works, yes.

The United States was also in a terrible mood.

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Previously, on Empress Theresa:

A whole lotta math.

And now:

So, small correction: last chapter, I implied that Theresa and Steve were going to make an appearance before the United Nations. This was incorrect, and for that I must apologize. In reality, it's only Steve that's going. Thank you for your patience.

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Hello, ladies. Gentlemen. Folks. May I call you my friends? Welcome back to my cabinet of horrors.

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Previously, on The Shadow God:

Mark killed a man!

And now:

Okay. So. The big news I mentioned yesterday. You ready for it? Because I was ecstatic to find this.

Here we go.

I previously linked the Google Books preview of Aaron Rayburn's second novel, Spiritual Sorrow. Well, I was looking through that again, and I noticed that at the end of the preview is an author's note. So I took a peek. And, believe me, you are not ready for this:

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Previously, on The Shadow God:

The boss rush!

And now:

Craig awakens in the blue sky-ed, green pasture-ed, cave-nearby-ed scenery of his dreams.

Maybe THIS is a dream, Craig.
No, it wasn’t. He could tell it wasn’t because each breath he drew felt like sucking in clean, crisp oxygen from a tank. It was the freshest air he had ever breathed. It infiltrated his lungs, filling them with a kind of innovativeness he had never felt before.

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Previously, on The Shadow God:

Three for the price of one!

And now:

The chapter opens with Craig and the Blood Bros burying the old man's body in Mark's back yard.

“What if he comes back?” Todd asked, his voice taking on a frightened edge.
“Look,” said Mark. “I can assure you this ain’t no Pet Sematary.”

Oh, believe me, I've noticed.

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