Bit of a misnomer, the story I'm currently writing does occasionally contain the thoughts of my characters to help explain how and why they are thinking and acting the way that they do.

But as I'm rereading a chapter I'm working on, I realize most of the chapter is the inner turmoil and thoughts she is having.

I have paragraphs of feelings and explanations along with visual descriptions of what they are doing. Occasionally some dialog.

For the first half of the chapter, we read about the outward influence on her, but for the end, we read about her own internal monolog and motivations.

So I'm wondering if a couple thousand worded chapter would still be interesting, if it's doing a lot of explaining and little showing?

Because to understand how and why she is in the position that the subject is in, we still need backstory and context.

I do sprinkle comedy and sexual themes to keep it entertaining, it's just i went from a concise semi-erotic introduction to a "revamped" member of the mane 6, to basically altering and filling details of her life story.

Not a big alteration, more like an alternative way of thinking, that's still plausible from where her story diverts.

There! See? I did it again, explaining things!

*eyes glaze over slightly before spotting the question*

(Yeah that was slightly mean... I'll get to the point)

So I'm wondering if a couple thousand worded chapter would still be interesting, if it's doing a lot of explaining and little showing?

Yes.

depending on terms and conditions. How interesting are those thousand(s) of words?

When this topic comes up I am reminded of two works. One almost needs no introduction and another that was pretty good back in the day; a must read if my long departed grandfather has anything to say. Both seem to fail in one way or another and one I, honestly, couldn't bring myself to finish. One is called The Lord of the Rings and the other Ann of Green Fables (though it might have been Gables).

I'll star with poor Ann. She has what one might call a short attention span unless you were prevy to her inner thoughts; good thing the book is in first person! So you, dear reader, are treated to wall of text after wall of text as she hyper focuses on one thing before following Alice down the rabbit hole only to be brought back to earth by the extra people in the book. This typically lasts for one page before she finds a new shiny and we are treated to wall of text after wall of text as she hyper focuses on one thing before...

Grandfather wanted me to learn to enjoy reading (to improve my spelling)... good thing I already enjoyed reading before being given that mind numbing slop. It certainly displayed character (though 'development' fell off a cliff after the first few shinies) and was interesting in its day. If you find yourself writing the next Ann I recommend taking a card out of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and switch our PoV every chapter between at least two characters.

The Lord of the Rings... the book version. I managed to find and read the old english version shortly after the movies; I think those have been phased out for modern lesser versions. Tolkien works are great but if there was one thing I hated was reading all the descriptions. As a world builder I understand the importance of them, as a Game Master they are the first things I am to cut from the script unless asked. I remember skimming through Minas Tireth and a certain dead white tree waiting for dialog. Or action. Or anything but context.

On my first reading I do not need to know the exacting description and back story of a tree that only Gandalf, Salron, most elves and a few human scholars know. Worst; it was rarely explained to the hobbits (or anyone else in the know) so it was all unnecessary. It provided context to the audience sure but it was still unnecessary as most of the cast were lacking that context too. Almost as bad as Ann.

Can your character and inner dialog be good? Yes. Do you like the inner dialog? Are you writing this for thumb's ups? If yes, you might want to consider your audience. (Which is probably the point of this thread) Does inner dialog count as showing or telling? I think it depends on how it is done. Ann showed the character and then told us how the world changed while Ann had her head up where the sun never shined. Tolkien did both showing and telling at once.

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Thanks for the advice! One day I'll figure out the correct way to write a question post. The title and expanding on the title in the Body with explaining the title is never enough. 😝

As for the story and everything. My audience is liking what I do already, since this is a character driven romance story; I do keep them in mind, but it's more about the big moments or situations I know they'd want me to write. Sometimes I get ideas from them that I hadn't thought of myself.

I often switch between characters, or focus on one for a chapter. More the latter, in this case, she is reflecting on all she has been through and talked about, and coming up with plans and excuses.

I think others would enjoy the inner conflict, since it has major bearing throughout the whole story, and her actions will affect what my two main characters throughout the story.

Unintentionally she is going to be the rogue wind from the Odyssey that propels my main character into more drama.

I've always been proud of my dialog, since I lean more towards drama, I seem to have a knack for it.

As for descriptions, this is my description-heavy story, but I don't focus too much on world building since most know what, or have an idea of what a Ballroom looks like, or what a horderve table has for a spread.

But when it comes to my own ideas for the characters, that's where I get specific. And my ideas will likely completely contradict someone else's.

But when it comes to my own ideas for the characters, that's where I get specific. And my ideas will likely completely contradict someone else's.

Looks like we are in agreement...

Which is why I'm just talking rather than dispensing cold hard rules. Providing food for thought is more important to me than training a carbon copy.

Anywho...

As much as I ragged on Ann it was competently written. Her inner voice remained. This is where Tolkien fell apart; he would digress to the point of where it felt like you were reading an excerpt from a history book. His writing was still phenomenal (obviously) but by being a third person story there was always this level of distance. Some preserve it in first person but it doesn't always work...

You want to keep the character... for examples;

If Twilight Sparkle you do have the option of preserving that distance as she sees something important and remembers an excerpt from a book. She isn't called the purple book horse for nothing. You could then turn around and have her monolog it to anyone present. A good moment of characterization can happen if she leaves parts out; the parts she finds boring, or knows the others might find boring or parts Celestia might of implied were wrong (were they? *Shrug*), or even parts she find unimportant or things are she takes for granted that "everypony knows" for some extra fun later.

If Rainbow Dash it can get weird. A fun weird. She might entirely miss the landmark Twilight is going on about and notice a sandpit that Scoots once used to pull off a wicked stunt. No one else will notice it as it is unimportant to just about anyone else. She might later use Twilight's Thingamabob as a compass if she gets lost; especially if it is tall enough to present a flight hazard if unnoticed.

Applejack can be a real fun one. She has an accent. Characters with accents don't actually need to retain the accent. King of the Hill is a wonderful show with a guy named Boomhower (who's name I likely just butchered) who speaks in gibberish. Fun fact; he is possibly unaware of this. Once upon a time we were using him as the PoV and, get this, he was the only one there not speaking gibberish. *waggles eyebrows* Yeah!

One interpretation is that his accent is a mental disorder of some kind. So if you ever have a character with an accent you should be asking yourself if they know. If they don't then their inner dialog might be crystal clear. Admittedly Applejack would still have her inner dialog be right at home in a weastern; even if her dialog was spelled right or suddenly posh from her stint with the Oranges (were they oranges? I recall them being an entirely different fruit...). Such characters can be a challenge which can be the fun part.