So, Dirk's Bro was apparently raised by Maplehoof

Or, at least that is a Theory I've head says, and I've recently stumbled into adopt-a-human hear on FiMfic.
so, since the Alpha and Beta Strider Bros don't have cannon parents, My big Idea is, what if they wore raised by ponies? Welcome to Adopt-a-Strider, witch pony should raise Dave and witch should get Dirk.

2904026 Rainbow adopts Dirk (for obvious reasons), I for one would think they should be together seeing how it would be weird if two ponies see that their sons look alike. But I guess Soarin could adopt Dave. (Cue Parent Trap spinoff that would make even Jake English scream obvious Plot)

Rainbow Dash for Dirk and Vinyl Scratch for Dave.

2905516 Your forgetting that this is Alpha Dave and Beta Dirk, the older brothers of the Kids in the game. this isn't going to be in the same universe, so there not siblings

2904026
Ridiculously cool human raised by average pony? You do realize you're proposing the exact inverse of My Little Dashie, don't you?

In any case, because these are the Striders we're talking about, the choice must be as ironic as possible.

For Bro!Dirk, this means only one mare is suitable: Photo Finish! He'll be able to stage entire fashion shoots through flash-step puppetry, and his work with felt and padding will be legendary. Especially the horn cozies. So plush. So bulbous. Such impudent jutting.

For adult!Dave, visionary director, JPEG artificer, and slayer of Juggalos, there's really only one choice: Pinkie Pie. How else would he learn how to charm the world with nothing more than a smile and a crappy file compression algorithm? Plus, he'd know all about clown warfare.

2905867 well they kinda are, in a weird, alternate universe slime bro kinda way

2906126 Yessssssss. The irony, it must be done. And Equestria will call out their names!
STRIIIIIIIIDERRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!