It was a dense cloud cover as young teenaged Phoinex flew through the air, it's wings leaving a golden flame behind it. It worn a light golden chest plate with a lightning symbol on it. 

Before long the young Phoinex passed a seemingly out of place air ballon. It landed on edge and looked inside the Basket. It chirped only to be shushed by a certain purple pony. "Shush Amy! If her battleship sees us then we're never going to save our friends." she said holding its beak. "Or the princess!" said applejack interjecting and lifting her head from cover. "Or the Prince!" said Pinkie jumping up as the rest came out of cover. 

Before they could say another word. A massive Air Battleship resembling Canterlot Castle appeared out the clouds above. It was truly massive, with a large cannon at the stern protruding out as a constant deterrent to even think of challenging such a vessel. Truly a sight to be fearful of.

Everypony's heart sank as it approached them. They all looked with faces locked in fear and feelings        
of terror. As it closed in, they all saw the true size of its cannons, the sheer number of guards patrolling and the Steel armor plating that covered it all. 

Fluttershy was the first to lose her nerve. She began a soft scream that started to raise volume until it was stopped by Rarity and Rainbow Dash covering her mouth, and all three of them looking around in complete terror. 

The ship slowed down and started clanking. Every pony held their breath but was too frozen with fear to move. The ship started turning to port and the number of medium sized cannons in view instantly doubled. 
Every pony's mouth opened at just the sheer number of loaded barrels looking at them. 

Then the  Truly Madsive jet black Howitzer at the stern started turning turning toward them. All their hearts sank to their deepest pits as the cannon's giant barrel became more  and more visible. 

"What are you doing?!" said a nightmarish voice from the stern as nightmare herself approached Trigger. "Well things we're getting boring so...um- to ah keep the sprits up" he said sheepishly messing with his hoofs. " I told them to practice firing the night mare magical cannon, of that's ok..." 

"No! You incompetent fool. We need that magic energy to make sure Sister and her good for nothing bearers of harmony don't attack the ship and take back the prisoners!" 

Trigger fumbled with his hoofs.  "I'm sorry-" "You should be Now GET BACK TO YOUR JOB!!!" she said in her royal voice nearly sending him going off the ship's deck.

He hung on the rails, he looked down only for a second. After a big gulp, he  started climbing back up, mumbling as he did. "This is ridiculous! This is not the princess I gave my loyalty to!" he pulled himself over the edge and tried to catch his breathe, panting loudly as he did. "Luna... Where have you gone?" he got up, and he looked at the dark mare walking away. "Why we're you replaced with this beast? Please come back..." Trigger signed and with head down returned to his guard duties but not without being watched by our heros.

Trigger regained his composer, his crew looking to him with confusion and question, Power down the main cannon,  remain at combat ready and get this ship back on course!!" "YES SIR!" was heard Repeatly as the soldiers began their new assignment. Trigger looked to the clouds almost directly at the hidden face of Twilight hidden by the dense fog that provided cover fir both the massive vessel and their small air balloon.

Twilight slowly ducked "Oh no...." she silently thought as she looked back at Trigger. She was just barely out of his sight but he was smart enough to know when something's there.  

 Trigger look on as his 1st lieunant approached him. A female Pegasus with a long light blue mane with even lighter highlights and a white sleek body with 3 stars on her flank. He saw her coming,  "I smell a trap"he said still looking on. she looked at him with a concerned face , "You've been up for days sir" she said with a soldier's voice, loud and serious "maybe... you should get some rest huh?" she said with her voice getting lighter and more friendly. "Listen I'll take watch for you and I will let you know the instant anything goes wrong ok?"  Trigger looked at her with a grin. He looked around, first to the stern... No pony was there then quickly looked behind her... No pony in sight. He let out a big sigh "How can I run this ship with a screaming demigoddess on my flank all the time?" he said looking back in the direcrion of the bridge. The ship started tiring back on course as Trihger had ordered them to do. "I'm not sure captain, but you'll think of something I'm sure, you always do." she saud with a grin, They both laughed for a second. Seeing pther guards coming ti report Trigger went back to being serious "Report anything out of the ordinary to me at once, I'll be in my quarters" "Yes Sir!" with a sharp salute Trigger stepped off the stern of the ship. He pasted some soldier as he trotted by "Sir we-" "If uou have sny reports, report to her, Im off for now" he said taking one more look at his lieunant. 

 Twilight and the others looked up with a sigh of relief, they regained their courage and nerve. "Heres our chance!" said twilight "Amy, look for a way in and we'll follow you." The Phoinex chirped and flew at the still malevolent ship in front of them. Twilight steered the hot air behind her as their rescued commenced. 

The Young Phoinex found a small dock. It let put a chirp and the air balloon followed. Twilight steered the balloon close to the hull. "Ok let's open this lock" said twilight as she struggled to open the lock on the door. "Hmmm doesn't want to come loose.-" "HEY! What was that?!" said a pony guard on the ship. "Oh no keep quiet!" she said as they all ducked. They waited for what seemed forever, waiting for some sort of sign that tell them the guard was gone. 

"Hmmm " grumbled the guard as he trotted off. "That was too close every pony, be careful." "HIYA! " said Pinkie busting the door open. Twilight signed and crept inside. Applejack tied the balloon up and the rest of the followed her inside. 

It was dark and spider webs everywhere. Doors that didn't look like they were even used and dust bunnies playing in the cold steel floor.   Amy chirped and her flames became bright enough to light their path. 

"This place looks deserted" said Applejack looking around "It could use a total makeover if you ask me." injected rarity looking at the cobwebs in disgust. She looked closet at a small spider, it turned around and hissed. Rarity ran down the hall screaming as the other followed in quick pursuit. 

She finally regained her composure  by the time the reached the end of the corridor. They stood in the middle of the branching halls. "Which way do we go? Asked rainbow dash. "We could split up." said Applejack.

"Yeah, we'll cover more ground that way. I'll take Pinkie and Rainbow" said twilight. "Hey! Look at what I found!" said pinkie pie as she blew some dust off a old sign. It revealed to say 'Prison Block: A Security: Max' "That way! Come on!" Twilight lead their group downy he corridor. "Well I guess it's just us guys" said applejack turning around. "Hmmm " says rarity looking at a switch covered in a cobweb. She turned it and the hall in front of them lit up. Little bodies moved and shuffled as the their cover of darkness was blown. They scattered left and right, scurrying to their hideouts and bolt holes. "You can't possibly expect me to go down there can you?" whined rarity "Yeah, we do!" said applejack shoving her down the hallway. She looked back to see Fluttershy befriending a group of spiders and bugs. "Come on Fluttershy!" said Applejack as Fluttershy realized where they were going. 

On the other end of the vessel Twilghts group was making progress. They finally found a lit hall. Twilight poked her head around a corner to see a guard with his back turned. He had heavy armor and a spear right beside his hoof. He dudnt lok like he was paying much attention but he could make alit of noise from the armor should they try and take him. 

Rainbow poked her head under her "what's he doing?" she wispered. Pinkie poked her head above Twilghts " he must be having smack time!" she interjected. Rainbow and twilight looked at pinkie for a second, Twilight's face turned from serious to slight irritation "Pinkie, get off" she said Turing around as Pinkie dismounted off her back. "Ok, he way too big for us to take down so we're going to have to sneak by him. 

So who wants to go first?" she said sheepishly. Rainbow and Pinkie looked at her with a non joking face. "I didn't think so either" Twilight said approaching the edge of the corridor.
She silently crawled behind him. As soon as she reached the next hall, she motioned the other two to follow. 

As Twilight found more guards, on the other end, Applejack, Rarity and Fluttershy found a much more elegant part of the ship. "Now this is more like it!" said rarity trotting into a fine dining room. "I must say, this ace does look mighty nice" said applejack looking around the room with great interest.

There was a large dinning set with everything that would be expected at a dinner party. Shrimp, strawberries, large fruit bowls, plates of bread and all sorts of things exotic! And a large 3 decked vale in the middle of the table to top it all off! The windows were clear and well cleaned and the drapes resembled night, with dark blue, stars and the moons on many places. "Its like a fancy dinner party!" squeed rarity. Fluttershy slowly trotted behind them, "It dies look nice" she softy said. 

They opened a door into a elegant hallway with  large windows letting the sun in and marble floors. "It's like a castle!" said rarity taking the lead once again. "Wait a moment" said applejack as a door opened mid hallway.

 A colt about the same size as them walked out. He had the color scheme of night, somewhat reminding them of Luna. He had a small chest plate on and in the middle it had what looked like a moon in front of something else they couldn't see. It made them think of an eclipse right away. They couldn't guess his age, he was the same size as them but not a scratch nor scar nor birthmark to be seen. Like he literally just born yesterday but they knew that couldn't be right.

He turned towards them, "Hello?" he said in a soft friendly voice. "Hello there partner!" said Applejack taking a chance. "I haven't seen you ponies around here, that must mean you're new!" a look of glee came on his face. He bounced towards them "Hi! My names Eclipse! It's nice to meet you guys! And I thought I was just a short pony ha! Glad to see I'm not the only one." he said as if he hasn't seen no one but tall guards that patrol the ship all his life. 

"My names Applejack" "Rarity and this is Fluttershy" said rarity pointing to her. Fluttershy looked down at the ground and kicked her hoof. "What you guys looking for?" he asked "Oh just our friends." applejack responded trying not to say too much "Hmmmm brown coat? Green mane? Like a tree?" he said acting it out. "Yea!" said applejack in excitement "Ive been seeing that pony in my dreams for quite some time now, but i didn't think he was real, but I haven't seen him. What about a light pinkish Alicorn and Her daughter? " He suggested "YES!" exclaimed rarity "Oh we'll they're in Prison block A, I wouldn't suggest going down there unless you got a really good reason for the guards to let you in because that place in packed with them."  he said. They lowered their heads in disappointment until Eclipse said "Unless you got a key." he said with a smirk and holding a chain of key in his mouth. 

Back on Twilight's end, she was getting ever closer towards the cell block. "A little one aren't you!" said a distant voice. Twilight gasped, and they all clinged to the wall. It was an empty corridor, and if anypony came down their way, they wouldn't be able to hide. They held their breathes and watched the end of the corridor waiting for the worst to appear. They were silent, hearts racing like stock cars. "You leave her alone!" 

They heard a different voice, it was agitated and some what deep. It didn't seem like it was getting closer. Their instincts told them to run while they can but their curiosity got the best of them, and they slowly trotted down to the end or the corridor. 

Wilight looked at the sign above. "Too dusty to read." she thought to herself. She left out a soft blow and the dust came off to show "Prison block A cells 1-10". Twilight's face lighten, they were close but more than they thought. 

"Oh and what are you going to do?" said the first voice. It became clear to all of them that nightmare moon herself was less than a few feet away from them. They held their breathes and tried to become silent so as to hear what she was saying.

"You're just a big meanie!" said a young filly. Twilight gasped as she instantly recognized the voice "Auora-" she was quickly cut off by Rainbow Dash holding her mouth close. Pinkie put her hoof on her mouth and silently shushed and Rainbow nodded in agreement. 

"Aren't you so precious?" said Nightmare in a mocking tone. "Leave her alone!" says the 2nd voice. It sounded angry and even more agitated. This time pinkie gasped "Prince-" she was only cut off by Rainbow Dash who now holding both their mouths closed.

"And what are you going to do young prince?" nightmare said once more mockingly. Suddenly a golden light quickly appeared from their direction. Pew! The sound of a rather powerful attack spell was heard. Instantly after it was heard some dark blue light quickly appeared aswell and the sound of something bouncing off another thing was heard. The golden light started ricocheting on the floor, then a even darker light appeared and the sound of a even more powerful attack spell charging was heard. A much heavier Peewwww! Was heard and was stopped by a final flash of golden light.

They all were in shock, trying to figure out what exactly happened and who won. They got their answer quicker than they thought when a large figure became approaching the end of the corridor from nightmares direction. 

It was nightmare herself, "Idiotic fool! How did he even dent my armor?!" she stopped right In front of them. They were immortalized with terror. The queen of the night was standing right in front of them. Horn still charged, she looked to her side with disgust. "Pathetic!!" she said before walking away. 

Their hearts began to slow down and they looked around the corner. They were ten cells, each horizontal of each other. They one closet to them had some burn and blast marks. Like there was a battle fought there, and they were very fresh too. 

They rushed down the corridor and looked in the cells. There they saw Prince Lightning with no armor on with his back turned to the cell opening and a small filly curled up in his tail. The filly was asleep and unharmed but Prince had a burn mark...

Pinkie and twilight held their mouths closed to hold their gasps, but their faces showed a sense of being very worried. Twilight took in a breathe and shallowed her courage. "Prince are you ok?" she asked "Stop the voices auntie alright? Dealing with you once a day is bad enough, you've had your fun now leave us be!" prince's voice was hurt but still full of angry. Pinkie was next to try "Lightning please." she pleaded "Why do you torture me by using her sweet voice for your sick mind games?" the filly shifted a bit earning Prince's immediate attention, she quickly settled and prince went back to looking at the ground. "Please, just don't use her voice, anypony but her's.... Please?" it sounded like he was pleading now more than threating. "But it's really me lightning!" said Pinkie putting her hoofs on the bars. Sudenly a mass gold light appeared around Prince's horn, he quickly got up and turned around with a face of pure rage and what looked like a fresh stained tear under his eye. "I'm going to make you regret saying that!" He said getting ready to fire, only to lift his head and see Pinkie's sadden and worried face pushed up to the bars...

This all I've came up this far. I'd like to get some feedback before I go on my next assignment of doing the dinner party in episode 1 aswell. Any thing constructive is useful.

299639

It was a dense cloud cover as young teenaged Phoinex flew through the air, it's wings leaving a golden flame behind it --- The young phoenix soared through fog, the golden flames trailing behind

spelling errors abound try using microsoft word to check for those really quick then just paste here

It was nightmare herself, "Idiotic fool! How did he even dent my armor?!" she stopped right In front of them. They were immortalized with terror. The queen of the night was standing right in front of them. Horn still charged, she looked to her side with disgust. "Pathetic!!" she said before walking away. --- im confused does she see them or no because a little before it said that hallway had no places to hide, also immortalized doesnt work there it means to be forever remembered try using petrified, frozen, or paralyzed

other than that looks good from what i see

299647 I'm on mobile so I can't right now but thanks though! It really helps!

299648 always glad to help

299639
So you DO plan on Prince Lightning falling for Pinkie Pie. I'm still not entirely sure how I fell about that. Well, I can't say anything. It's not my opinion alone it's the group's. Anyway, apart from a few spelling and grammar mistakes this rescue is all fine and dandy! Although there does seem to be a stunning lack of guards. And Discord for that matter. And Sonic Boom. And Cobalt Fury.

Oh by the by, is this episode two, because I thought the rescue would be more into the story, not right away. I'm actually in the process of writing episode 2. I'll be posting my progress shortly actually.

299650 This is not the first time you'll see a connection between them. Yes, I still have to concept in mind.

299650 dont worry this has been moved to about center of the story arch, its way to soon to have the rescue in episode two maybe 7 or 8, I'm still trying to get together a short main story arch so we all know whats going on when, for the time being these ideas and writings are no problem at all we can put things in different places in the story with out even rewriting it or damaging the main story. The rescue can't happen this soon we need a build up and some back story before it goes down, the rescue will start Eclipse and Prince's story arch we need it to be in the center. Eclipse can't be shown in full for atleast a few episodes, only in dreams do we know something is there, but what?

299687
Well you're the one in charge of Lightning so I guess you can do whatever you like with him. Alright. Sure. Let's see how a Prince's romantic relations with work out. I'd love to see THAT side of Pinkie.

299688
Anything I can do to help with this "short main story arc"?

yea thats the only issue I see.. getting around the guards is one thing but Colbatlt is old school vigalance..he would know somethins up.
and eclipse is rarley seen without sonic lurking around the corner....

sonic: -reads the part where Nightmare attacks eclipse-...BITCH GOTTA GO!!

sonic sees eclipse as his own foal and will kill allies to make the kid happy....Im serious I plan on having him turn a guard into stone that taunted eclipse for being a monster.

299722 not to say no, but I really don't mind what's done with him as long as it doesn't contradict my thing before. You can't really go wrong with him and I think I'd be wasting time writing all his parts. He maybe my OC but I'm not incharge of him though.