This topic might not be exactly related to them so please... hold your horses, take a deep breath, and calm down. I beg of thee no profanities here no over-passionate wording e.t.c.

Done that? Cool! Awesome! So here we go... My OC is... this.

All art of her may be found here http://nioniosbbbb.deviantart.com/gallery/46587095/Selune-Darkeye
Her profile may be found here:http://worldofequestria.com/page/character_database.html/_/selune-darkeye-r317
All links to my OCs with profiles and art folder links in the "other" section may be found here http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/427034/took-some-personality-tests-for-my-ocs

Before you start screaming "Aaaargh! Red and Black OC! Kill it with fire! FIRE I SAY!" know that I myself didn't know the trope when I created her. I was really an amateur on both creation and storyline. Believe it or not at first she didn't have the raven, the golden bobble, she was an angsty OC with a tremendously dark past that would make Thane Krios from Mass Effect be jealous. She was OP as hell ((e.g. she had petrifying gaze and all that stuff)). Also the cutie mark wasn't the same... in fact it was a copypaste of the "Eye of the Nine" or "Neverwinter Nights" eye/logo. Also her stripes were supposed to be a hint that she's related to zebras. U do not know if it's better but I changed it because I had heard bad opinions on hybrids and now it's magical in nature.

I don't know if it's better or not but I decided to add the raven later as I have every OC of mine have an animal companion. I wanted something to fit her. Raven happened to fit. I didn't think that there was another pet that fit her. Except perhaps a bat?

The golden bobble was added by the first artist who drew her and I thought it was a good addition so i kept it.

I realize her color scheme doesn't exactly fit in with the rest of the canon show but as I said I wasn't exactly thinking what colors canon characters had. I was thinking more about the colors that would fit to said character's concept. Yes I admit I fell into the trap of trying to make her look cool you feel free to shut me down on that I know I kinda deserve it but...

Ever since I got feedback on her story, got to know more about the common faults of OCs with backstories, about color schemes and stuff well... I kinda changed her. I don't know If I have changed her enough but I adjusted the intensity of the color. And to be honest? Based on some artists liking to draw her, and the positive feedback on her changed backstory I have done some good with her. In my defense I was playing with really... bad?... rpers because as I said I was an amateur.

I have done some improvements on her, but I don't think I want to change the overall color scheme.
Here are some stories she is in.
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/231817/equestria-the-hunger-games
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/248397/the-new-guard-order
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/232781/a-quest-for-knowledge

I realize her flaws and often use them on purpose tackling them with humour to tell a good story. That's what I think is my main obligation. Despite the color scheme or markings, or whatever else I try to tell a good story. Is she a special little snowflake? Perhaps... that doesn't mean I don't tackle that and put her into overwhelming situations where she needs help. Overall I try to have my characters be more versatile than anything.

Last but not least I cannot guarantee you that changes will happen to her if your suggestions make me feel like she is a whole different OC. Unless I want to go that way... I also don't want to be the cowering whimp that follows every rule, bias, and suggestion others make in order to satisfy everyone as that is impossible. Because i will admit as a person I have that flaw.

So with that out of the way please give me your feedback on it.

4127483

I'll try my best to give you feedback given the information you provided. Note: I didn't look at the art of her, nor did I read the stories she's included in. The first is because you will be writing about her, you probably will not and should not include art and pictures in the middle of the prose. The second is because I really don't have the time to read through them. I did read her bio that you had posted.

While you recognize that the color scheme is a problem because of the aesthetic prospective, you didn't realize that it also doesn't match her personality/character too well either. There can be an exception in that she inherited her looks from her parents (but that doesn't seem to be the case, after looking at her parents' designs). When a person looks at the color black, the feelings it represents to them (and. yes, this is generalizing) are usually brooding, "evil/bad." mysterious, and, sometimes, power. Red is usually associated with lust/love, aggression, anger, fire, and also power.

From what the link you posted told us, she seems very... contradictory. While the appearance of an OC alone will never be the final word on their personality, it is usually the first thing that reveals something about the OC to the audience. Though the age old saying about "not judging a book by its cover" is ever present and is a wise lesson to learn, we all are guilty of doing it. As such, by relating the OC's appearance to their personality, you give the audience a sneak peek of the OC's personality. She is very optimistic, playful, outgoing. All in all, she's a very peppy extrovert with a good sense of "right" and "wrong." Combine with what I told you the colors you gave her usually represent, you'd be hard-pressed to find a connection. You can argue that her practice of "Illusionism" can be mysterious, in a certain sense.

Another issue I find is the omission of her character flaws. You do a nice job showcasing her special talents and strengths, and her backstory seems to support it. However, you fail to include any negative aspects of her. She has no anger issues, no problems with morality, has a decent amount of maturity, no real problems as a person/pony. Where is her room to grow? If I'm allowed to stretch it a bit, the only negative aspect might be her "prankster" ways, but that really feeds back into her "playful" nature.

One last note: Probably more minor notes than anything else. Her backstory seems well done and clearly has had some thought put into it. However, her name suffers from the contradiction as her color scheme. This is mostly due to the "Darkeye" part. You tell us her lineage revolves around this "Divination" trait passed through her family, but "Darkeye" seems to imply that she DOES NOT posses this gift. While, again, you can argue that this is because she was in danger of losing her sight as a child, this still seems contradictory. Also, as far as aesthetics go, the "Dark" in her name is also a big turn off to many readers.

Take this feedback as you will. I do not have a monopoly on knowledge of OCs. Even if I have done a lot of research on them, I cannot explain some of the more popular OCs that should not really have survived given their backstories, personalities, and aesthetics.

4128406

There can be an exception in that she inherited her looks from her parents (but that doesn't seem to be the case, after looking at her parents designs).

I could always change that. I mean those are OCs that came on the fly and didn't actually make sense back then. As I said back then I didn't exactly know how to create OCs what to keep and whatnot.

While you recognize that the color scheme is a problem because of the aesthetic prospective, you didn't realize that it also doesn't match her personality/character too well either.

As I said I picked the colors to match the concept of illusionism ((black)) and divination ((white)) which are the two main sectors of magic she uses.

Red is usually associated with lust/love, aggression, anger, fire, and also power.

And also passion... passion for life and living that she has. Eh... To be honest I could even say that at some point she dyed her mane/tail. I don't know... In any case I thought it fit her despite the representation of the color.

From what the link you posted told us, she seems very... contradictory. While the appearance of an OC alone will never be the final word on their personality, it is usually the first thing that reveals something about the OC to the audience. Though the age old saying about "not judging a book by its cover" is ever present and is a wise lesson to learn, we all are guilty of doing it. As such, by relating the OC's appearance to their personality, you give the audience a sneak peek of the OC's personality. She is very optimistic, playful, outgoing. All in all, she's a very peppy extrovert with a good sense of "right" and "wrong." Combine with what I told you the colors you gave her usually represent, you'd be hard-pressed to find a connection. You can argue that her practice of "Illusionism" can be mysterious, in a certain sense.

I'll be honest with you... the black color was something I was considering of actually saying that she didn't have at first. That she was... white and red. As you'll see in her profile her eyes were completely black at first because the magic she inherited couldn't stabilize. I could say that "black" was expanding slowly to her white coat and ended stabilizing a little bit before the end. Giving the impression that she had white marks in her black coat.

Another issues I find is that omit her character flaws. You do a nice job showcasing her special talents and strengths, and her backstory seems to support it. However, you fail to include any negative aspects of her. She has no anger issues, no problems with morality, has a decent amount of maturity, no real problems as a person/pony. Where is her room to grow? If I'm allowed to stretch it a bit, the only negative aspect might be her "prankster" ways, but that really feeds back into her "playful" nature.

Yes I might not have mentioned them it's true. To be honest as you'll see she's more like a character that adapts and dances around her opponents rather than someone who practices strong magic to beat an opponent. She's weak and strong opponents with close blows or magicians can easily overpower her in direct combat.

Also despite her being an extrovert that doesn't mean she's always well received. As you said her "cover" isn't exactly enticing per say. That leads to a relative isolation from the rest, and she ends up becoming an extrovert to supplement for that.

Also like all "good" characters she seeks to have everyone happy resulting in her often being overwhelmed with many projects. Pushed in that corner she often runs away and cries. I was also thinking of giving her a relatively "okay" phobia like insects being over-run by them. Maybe she's afraid of small things that get stuck in her coat like lice? Dunno... how does that sound?

Also because of her playful nature when serious and a bit awkward stuff happen e.g. romance she acts like a bakadere almost stunned and too shy.

Not to mention that like most ponies she's too trustworthy, maybe even more so. I plan on having her relative "innocence" taken advantage of to the point that her goodness and her mistakes will lead to the Canterlot Wedding. It might seem unlikely but you get the picture right? It won't be only her it will be most ponies, but she'll feel guilty because of that and want to overcome all those things.

However, her name suffers from the contradiction as her color scheme. This is mostly due to the "Darkeye" part. You tell us her lineage revolves around this "Divination" trait passed through her family, but "Darkeye" seems to imply that she DOES NOT posses this gift. While, again, you can argue that this is because she was in danger of losing her sight as a child, this still seems contradictory. Also, as far as aesthetics go, the "Dark" in her name is also a big turn off to many readers.

Eer not exactly. As I said her eyes when she was born were completely black and that gave her the surname darkeye. Her lineage has eye-related magic as I think I said... now if that's not the case I will correct it. She personally had well... an inclination towards that sector of her mother but she didn't want to become a piece of a puzzle, a matched set so she decided to delve in the powers of the eye that none of her lineage was particularly fond of. I could make that into a fear... the fear of being bound by others of being in... too much order? Wanting to live free?

As for the dark in the name... dunno... got any ideas about something that would fit?

Take this feedback as you will. I do not have a monopoly on knowledge of OCs, even if I have done a lot of research on them. I cannot explain some of the more popular OCs that should not really have survived given their backstories, personalities, and aesthetics.

You mean the hypocrite "Kuno" the changeling who wears a Christmas bell that looks like a cowbell? That she uses it to fool others into thinking she's a pet in order to prove them wrong and have the satisfaction? No please... give me examples... I'll give you mine. And you were quite informative. So... thanks.

4128494

As I said I picked the colors to match the concept of illusionism ((black)) and divination ((white)) which are the two main sectors of magic she uses.

I'll be honest with you... the black color was something I was considering of actually saying that she didn't have at first. That she was... white and red. As you'll see in her profile her eyes were completely black at first because the magic she inherited couldn't stabilize. I could say that "black" was expanding slowly to her white coat and ended stabilizing a little bit before the end. Giving the impression that she had white marks in her black coat.

Eer not exactly. As I said her eyes when she was born were completely black and that gave her the surname darkeye. Her lineage has eye-related magic as I think I said... now if that's not the case I will correct it. She personally had well... an inclination towards that sector of her mother but she didn't want to become a piece of a puzzle, a matched set so she decided to delve in the powers of the eye that none of her lineage was particularly fond of. I could make that into a fear... the fear of being bound by others of being in... too much order? Wanting to live free?

I'll probably quoting things multiple time throughout my reply. In this first part, I'll reply to her color scheme. I'm actually inclined to tell you to use the red and white scheme with one minor change. Instead of having her mostly black with white highlights, consider the inverse. Have her mostly WHITE with small accents of black along her coat. You can do this to symbolize her own rebellion versus her lineage. While still accepting the gifts they provided (her white coat), she still tries to separate herself from completely conforming to their traditions or whatnot (her black accents). When you have her mostly black and have this idea of "Illusionism" being represented by black, it makes her seem that she has rejected her heritage and gifts of "Divination" almost completely in favor of "Illusionism," while the story actually tells us that she is grateful and still embraces her "Divination" magic but still dabbles and practices "Illusionism."

Yes I might not have mentioned them it's true. To be honest as you'll see she's more like a character that adapts and dances around her opponents rather than someone who practices strong magic to beat an opponent. She's weak and strong opponents with close blows or magicians can easily overpower her in direct combat.

I think you misunderstood me. I actually have no qualms with her combat capabilities or her abilities in general. I'm talking much more about her character development.

Also despite her being an extrovert that doesn't mean she's always well received. As you said her "cover" isn't exactly enticing per say. That leads to a relative isolation from the rest, and she ends up becoming an extrovert to supplement for that.

Also like all "good" characters she seeks to have everyone happy resulting in her often being overwhelmed with many projects. Pushed in that corner she often runs away and cries. I was also thinking of giving her a relatively "okay" phobia like insects being over-run by them. Maybe she's afraid of small things that get stuck in her coat like lice? Dunno... how does that sound?

Well, I wasn't really asking for an explanation for her personality traits. As for the "trying to make everyone happy" part, that would be much more of a "tragic flaw" (a character trait that appears "good" but taken to an extreme to a point where it causes problems for the character and/or leads to their death or downfall). As for your question on the phobia, even if you include it, it would not be a "flaw" per se, but more of a "quirk." A "character flaw" would include things that are ingrained in her personality in such a way that they are almost always negative. For example, a bad temper, or a vengeful personality, or even being coward.

Also because of her playful nature when serious and a bit awkward stuff happen e.g. romance she acts like a bakadere almost stunned and too shy.

Not to mention that like most ponies she's too trustworthy, maybe even more so. I plan on having her relative "innocence" taken advantage of to the point that her goodness and her mistakes will lead to the Canterlot Wedding. It might seem unlikely but you get the picture right? It won't be only her it will be most ponies, but she'll feel guilty because of that and want to overcome all those things.

I'm not too sure what "bakadere" is. I'm leaning on the side that it's Otaku-speak for a certain type of personality that occurs in anime. I watch anime but not enough to be familiar with the language associated with it. Anyways, that first line sounds like a problem stemming from her "naiveté" more than her "playful" nature. This would actually be a decent "character flaw" if it didn't contradict with some of her other aspects (her dislike of being angry towards people/holding grudges, they imply a degree of maturity that directly contradicts this naiveté aspect you're describing).

Eer not exactly. As I said her eyes when she was born were completely black and that gave her the surname darkeye. Her lineage has eye-related magic as I think I said... now if that's not the case I will correct it. She personally had well... an inclination towards that sector of her mother but she didn't want to become a piece of a puzzle, a matched set so she decided to delve in the powers of the eye that none of her lineage was particularly fond of. I could make that into a fear... the fear of being bound by others of being in... too much order? Wanting to live free?

As for the dark in the name... dunno... got any ideas about something that would fit?

I'm quite honestly REALLY bad at naming. It takes me quite some time to find some proper names for my own OCs.

You mean the hypocrite "Kuno" the changeling who wears a Christmas bell that looks like a cowbell? That she uses it to fool others into thinking she's a pet in order to prove them wrong and have the satisfaction? No please... give me examples... I'll give you mine. And you were quite informative. So... thanks.

Actually, the epitome of what I'm talking about comes from this one series called something like "Dangerous Skies" or "Stormy Skies." I'm not quite sure what is is called to be completely honest. It was so blatant in the OC's cliches that I couldn't even finish the first installment of the series. To make a long story short, the main OC was of a "please look at me, I'm special" design, had a "tragic" backstory in that he was brought up for the sole purpose of destruction but things happen and he loses that purpose and we are supposed to pity him because he can't integrate into a normal life and stayed in the Everfree Forest his entire life (somehow surviving its dangers even though he was a just a colt), and, lastly, he takes an arbitrary interest in Fluttershy when she is attacked by Timberwolves and becomes her "guardian." But I'm ranting now.

Anyways, again, I hope this helps.

4128690

I'll probably quoting things multiple time throughout my reply. In this first part, I'll reply to her color scheme. I'm actually inclined to tell you to use the red and white scheme with one minor change. Instead of having her mostly black with white highlights, consider the inverse. Have her mostly WHITE with small accents of black along her coat. You can do this to symbolize her own rebellion versus her lineage. While still accepting the gifts they provided (her white coat), she still tries to separate herself from completely conforming to their traditions or whatnot (her black accents). When you have her mostly black and have this idea of "Illusionism" being represented by black, it makes her seem that she has rejected her heritage and gifts of "Divination" almost completely in favor of "Illusionism," while the story actually tells us that she is grateful and still embraces her "Divination" magic but still dabbles and practices "Illusionism."

That's kind of... a big change to do. I am not quite sure... I could always make the shade of black lighter or something. Dunno as I said big changes like that are likely not to happen mostly because they alienate me from what my OC was meant to be.

As I might have said to someone I am also thinking of making the white markings... less prominent? Less obvious? Fewer? Kinda like that. Don't know. But with her current shade of red hair I don't exactly think that white will be particularly... fitting for her. Not to mention that I am not exactly sure if it's a good choice.

There's always the choice of changing the color pattern of her parents as well to justify for her color scheme just saying. *shrug*

Added to that she's well... not "75% Divination 25% Illusionism" rather than the opposite. As I said her lineage is magic of the sight and not necessarily deviates only a small portion per generation.

Well, I wasn't really asking for an explanation for her personality traits. As for the "trying to make everyone happy" part, that would be much more of a "tragic flaw" (a character trait that appears "good" but taken to an extreme to a point where it causes problems for the character and/or leads to their death or downfall). As for your question on the phobia, even if you include it, it would not be a "flaw" per se, but more of a "quirk." A "character flaw" would include things that are ingrained in her personality in such a way that they are almost always negative. For example, a bad temper, or a vengeful personality, or even being coward.

I see what you mean... I am not exactly sure what to put there. I could say she's reckless at time but I am not sure.

I'm not too sure what "bakadere" is.

https://shiroderedere.wordpress.com/2013/10/03/bakadere/

Anyways, that first line sounds like a problem stemming from her "naiveté" more than her "playful" nature. This would actually be a decent "character flaw" if it didn't contradict with some of her other aspects (her dislike of being angry towards people/holding grudges, they imply a degree of maturity that directly contradicts this naiveté aspect you're describing).

Hmmmm more like she does it to avoid trouble and confrontations. She's not exactly a coward but she prefers to handle things without violence as per her magic is more utility than offensive.

Kinda like Aang didn't want to kill Firelord Ozai you could say.

That's kind of... a big change to do. I am not quite sure... I could always make the shade of black lighter or something. Dunno as I said big changes like that are likely not to happen mostly because they alienate me from what my OC was meant to be.

"When writing a novel a writer should create living people; people not characters. A character is a caricature."
- Ernest Hemingway

Just a quote that seems fitting. But it is your character. I merely throwing out suggestions and commenting on her. Do what you see fit.

Hmmmm more like she does it to avoid trouble and confrontations. She's not exactly a coward but she prefers to handle things without violence as per her magic is more utility than offensive.

Kinda like Aang didn't want to kill Firelord Ozai you could say.

Aang didn't want to kill Ozai because he believed that a "wrong" act. His years with the monks in the Air Temples had taught him that all life is sacred. It demonstrates that Aang's wisdom and maturity played a part in his thinking, not exactly that he just wanted to avoid violence because he knew for fact that violence was inevitable to stop Ozai (though, he usually only fights in defense of others or himself).

And her knowingly avoiding violence because she realizes her magic isn't meant for battle actually shows that she has developed cleverness, a trait, again, usually not present within naive individuals.

But, as I said in the beginning, you don't have to listen a word I said. You can go ahead proceed as if you never even read anything here (as most people whose OCs I comment on tend to do). It is entirely your choice what, if anything, you choose to take away from my critiques/observations. I can tell you that I'm probably more observant than a large majority of the community here and many might overlook certain issues with your OC. I'm just throwing my two cents in. I'm not saying this because I'm scorned that you're not fond of some of my suggestions, but more that I know that it's hard to hear some of them.

But, hey, what do I know?

I'm just some guy.

4128834 Well to be honest I don't get that quote. Is it supposed to be against or for my hesitation to change her? I find she is the living person she is how she is. I feel like however that I need to change her snout marking. Make it smaller. Maybe have just some white around the nose with a little blush on it?

I get that a character must have flaws but the thing is if there is one then I don't know what it is. My imagination doesn't come up with a legitimate flaw that would fit her. That doesn't mean she won't go through stuff. In any case it all depends on the character. Most of the time when I come up with flaws I try to see the usual flaws of the characters their alignments fall under.

I could say she's extremely afraid of being lonely. I'll be honest with you... if we're going by avatar parallels I am going by Ty Lee. Mind you I made this comparison right now. And to me Ty Lee is an interesting character. Flaws, Fatal Flaws, Quirks, Weaknesses a character to be interesting doesn't necessarily have to have everything of these things to be good. There's so much you can put in a character before the characteristics clog the character.

4130316

Well to be honest I don't get that quote. Is it supposed to be against or for my hesitation to change her? I find she is the living person she is how she is. I feel like however that I need to change her snout marking. Make it smaller. Maybe have just some white around the nose with a little blush on it?

"I write about myself with the same pencil and in the same exercise book as about him. It is no longer I, but another whose life is just beginning."
-Samuel Beckett

Maybe that quote can help with understanding the last one.

I could say she's extremely afraid of being lonely. I'll be honest with you... if we're going by avatar parallels I am going by Ty Lee. Mind you I made this comparison right now. And to me Ty Lee is an interesting character. Flaws, Fatal Flaws, Quirks, Weaknesses a character to be interesting doesn't necessarily have to have everything of these things to be good. There's so much you can put in a character before the characteristics clog the character.

Two things here. First, there's a miscategorization going here. Ty Lee isn't a main character. She's at most a supporting character. The same rules don't necessarily apply to supporting and side characters that apply to main characters. They usually aren't in the spotlight long enough to require aspects like "flaws" or full backstories.

The second, flaws and weaknesses ARE ABSOLUTELY necessary for a main character to be interesting. It is what makes them relatable. The other aspect, fatal flaws, is, I agree, unnecessary for any character really. Even those that are destined to die within the story do not require a fatal flaw. An author can write a satisfactory death without one. But, again I stress, one cannot write a good main character without flaws or weaknesses. It is the very thing that makes them "human."

"I write about myself with the same pencil and in the same exercise book as about him. It is no longer I, but another whose life is just beginning."

-Samuel Beckett

Maybe that quote can help with understanding the last one.

Actually no it doesn't. Only serves to be more cryptic. I understand about the same things as before. No I am not writing about myself. She's a character I try to get into and i think as she would.

Two things here. First, there's a miscategorization going here. Ty Lee isn't a main character. She's at most a supporting character. The same rules don't necessarily apply to supporting and side characters that apply to main characters. They usually aren't in the spotlight long enough to require aspects like "flaws" or full backstories.

Right... again as I said I can't think of something that would fit her. Eventually she might get a small personality revamp but generally playful and smart.

Another character that is inspiration for her is http://myanimelist.net/character/62679/Asaka_Narumi She bears almost the same fierce loyalty as that character but for Princess Luna.

If I had to use Mlp characters to make her i would put in Twilight and Pinkie mostly. It's not like I haven't used my own experiences in creating her. And no before you say anything she's not my ponysona or a self insert.

The second, flaws and weaknesses ARE ABSOLUTELY necessary for a main character to be interesting. It is what makes them relatable.

Aaaah relateable... one of the biggest Buzzwords in all of of bronydom's character creation guides.

See there's a level of relateability that a character must achieve if it is to be considered good. If a character is completely relateable said character is bland, uninteresting, and needs some flaws. In fact sometimes if not most it's likely that this clash of relateability and non-relateability is what makes things interesting. In any case a character can be made interesting through trials and tribulations. Believe me she's going to go through lots of that... she's going to have her emotional ups and downs.

In that thought she may at times numb herself at stuff because she doesn't want to feel unhappy... or rejected or something.

Anyways I looked up what flaws one can have.

In the creation and criticism of fictional works, a character flaw is a limitation, imperfection, problem, phobia, or deficiency present in a character who may be otherwise very functional. The flaw can be a problem that directly affects the character's actions and abilities, such as a violent temper. Alternatively, it can be a simple foible or personality defect, which affects the character's motives and social interactions, but little else.

You may read the rest here.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Character_flaw
As per this... http://www.doctorbrunner.com/10-character-flaws-that-can-derail-even-good-people/
I have the "Eagerness to Please" flaw. So in general my character HAS flaws. I may not have constructed her profile correctly but she does have them trust me.

4130580

Actually no it doesn't. Only serves to be more cryptic. I understand about the same things as before. No I am not writing about myself. She's a character I try to get into and i think as she would.

Ah! You DO actually get it, but at the same time, you don't, at least for this quote. It's the irony of knowing the concept but not name. I'll explain in a bit.

If I had to use Mlp characters to make her i would put in Twilight and Pinkie mostly. It's not like I haven't used my own experiences in creating her. And no before you say anything she's not my ponysona or a self insert.

Every OC will ALWAYS, without a single exception, somehow be representative of the creator. If it wasn't, then the creator would never able to write for that character effectively. As you said before, you put yourself in her shoes when writing for her, done so easily because she is/was a part of you. The second quote I had tries to explain this very concept. The OC starts off as YOU, YOUR idea, a part of YOU, but yet, she begins to grow and experience different events through the writing. She becomes a living "person" who changes through her experiences as the second part of the second quote begins to explain and the first quote nails on the head. People change and are never so exaggerated as caricatures, with them almost always wearing their personality on the outside. You can think of caricatures as failed attempts to draw a human, as "characters" are failed attempts at writing people.

Though she is not a direct self-insert, and really a true self-insert is really hard to do, she is still a part of you.

See there's a level of relateability that a character must achieve if it is to be considered good. If a character is completely relateable said character is bland, uninteresting, and needs some flaws. In fact sometimes if not most it's likely that this clash of relateability and non-relateability is what makes things interesting. In any case a character can be made interesting through trials and tribulations. Believe me she's going to go through lots of that... she's going to have her emotional ups and downs.

I won't argue the first part because it's right. However, these "trials and tribulations" are most interesting when the challenge not the extent of one of her good traits but when they directly challenge one of her bad points, her flaws, or they challenge her views on life and herself. You'll probably challenge her abilities, her knowledge, etc. When an author can successfully challenge the OC's ingrained negative traits, for example, maybe self-centered-ness, that is when you see the most growth from a character and when it becomes the most interesting. How you do that is totally different issue that requires separate discussion, so I'll leave it at that.

I have the "Eagerness to Please" flaw. So in general my character HAS flaws. I may not have constructed her profile correctly but she does have them trust me.

Again, I personally label that as a "fatal flaw" because, in small doses, it is actually a good thing. It is not a bad thing to try and please people. Taken to an extreme, in the example episode with Rarity in "Suited for Success," it overwhelms the person and can lead to their downfall, or "derailment" as that little article you posted likes to call it. Another example of a "fatal flaw" your character can have is "Blind Loyalty." I'm not saying this is a good route to take or that's even a suggestion, just using it as an example, let's just say her loyalty for Luna runs so deep that when Luna once again betrays her sister, your OC sides with her and becomes "evil." In moderation, these traits are naturally seen as "good," or strengths.

For one last question: if it's hard for you, the creator, to find and point her flaws out, how hard will it be for your audience to do the same when they don't have the same amount of knowledge that you do? I'm not asking for an answer, but you should answer this for yourself.

And again, I tell you this not because I'm mad that you're challenging my advice. In fact, I'm glad you are. You should never just take things as given. But you DON'T need to take any of my advice if you feel it is not what you require for your character.

4131143 You misunderstand. It's not about me not knowing about the character and what flaws she has or not. It's about figuring out which flaws "fit" into her personality without seeming so random or controversial to the rest of the character.

Incidentally I think that her main flaw would be like... well what was Neo before he realized he was the one? He behaved like a total coward in front of the Smith Agents and all. Once he started believing in himself he would face them.

So... Cowardice it is. I think it fits her. Quite well if I may say. I could say she's faced with dillemas like e.g. being afraid of changelings after seeing what they do to ponies, but cannot turn herself away from treating the fallen like they should be. Or something like that.