Review of “Love from a Stone” by Short-tale

TLove from a Stone

• MLP: FiM
• Romance
• Drama

Limestone Pie is home alone. An expected visitor is brought to the farm by a sandstorm. It up to them to figure out why.

• Profanity
• Spitfire
• DJ P0N-3
• Pie Sisters
• Cheese Sandwich
• Limestone Pie

Short-tale · 19k words  ·  36  2 · 547 views

Summary: Limestone finds her special somepony in Spitfire in extraordinary circumstances.

Spoilers ahead. 

Content

• The premise of the story is easy to follow. Despite being the eldest, Limestone was unable to find her special somepony, while the rest of her siblings were able to. The author does not hide that the conflict will be resolved by the end of the story, thus the key incentive for readers to continue reading would be finding out how. In answering the how, the story falters in providing a satisfying resolution due to the following. 
• The characterisation herein appears inconsistent. This is evidenced by the numerous shifts between their so-called “hard side” and “soft side” being exhibited by most of the characters. I believe the author is attempting to showcase how each character has their own unique “hard and soft sides” to their personality, which would play a fundamental role in developing the romance sought. However, due to the pacing of the piece, the transitions between these diverging aspects of their character were too sudden to enable the reader to catch on. This is especially the case when Spitfire and Limestone were interacting, during the last three chapters. Further discussion on pacing will proceed later.
• Nonetheless, the banter derived from their pointed personalities explains why they could enjoy each other’s company. It can be argued that this often takes a level of collective understanding between each other so that the relationship does not break down through possible misunderstandings. This collective understanding of each other typically takes time to develop. However, in this context, due to each other’s pride, they would not be willing to accept being hurt from the other’s comments. Thus, their interactions would reinforce their relationship and help justify their enjoyment in each other’s company. 
• Returning to answering the how, the events of the story appear contrived to nudge Limestone and Spitfire into a romantic relationship. Notwithstanding how the story was set during extraordinary conditions, the shifting personalities also made it appear that the duo’s sentiments were contrived. In order to provide the necessary cues for the romantic relationship, the duo’s sentiments appeared to be conveniently fitted towards this narrative. 
• The story attempts to justify the duo’s shift in their actions, through dialogue for Spitfire, or internal monologue for Limestone. Unfortunately, as they continued to interact with each other, this became repetitive. Even though it can be inferred that Limestone was learning from their interactions, she did not show that through her own thoughts, or through the hesitation in her actions. For example, there is little difference between how Limestone would reason her actions in one scene as respect to another, resulting in repetition. This weakened the immersion considerably. 
• Although the use of Pinkie’s book can be argued to be canonically accurate, it was a less satisfying mode to enable further interaction between the duo. It could be more interesting to see how the duo would interact without the book available. The interaction between them could be more natural and organic for a better romance. 
• In a nutshell, the idea of shipping Limestone and Spitfire is interesting and refreshing. Their pointed personalities provide synergy with each other in a paradoxical fashion. However, I recommend going beyond Limestone’s own thoughts to focus on how Limestone was reading Spitfire physically and the scene itself. These would help bridge the apparent contrition, and provide new perspectives for Limestone to learn and attempt in further interaction. 

Flow

• The pacing of the story is too fast. Due to the dialogue-driven plot when Limestone and Spitfire were interacting, the shifts between the different personality modes and the development of their romance appeared to occur too quickly. I recommend focusing more on Limestone’s perspective, her attempts to read Spitfire, and how the setting influenced her decisions to drive the moment. This would help slow the pacing and better develop their romance.  

Language

• Some minor technical errors were noted, such as the lack of punctuation between sentence clauses with commas. Some adjectives were erroneously used. 

Stance

I enjoyed the refreshing take on Spitfire and Limestone getting together in a romantic relationship, especially on how they could have some level of synergy with each other’s pointed banter. Nonetheless, the pacing and contrition in this piece presents avenues for further improvement. 

Content: 7/10
Flow: 4/10
Language: 6/10
Overall: 5.7/10
Verdict: Needs Work