[Adult story embed hidden]

Hmmm.... I feel like I should have prepped for this story, mostly with multiple double shots of vodka and orange juice.

Alrighty! Short story, quick to the point and didn't pull its punches in the least! Let's get down to it.

Story: 💩/10: I of course, mean this literally. A story about bathroom shenanigans, with some quality Spike snark is always a fun read. The setup made enough sense that I could suspend disbelief, and just enjoy the ride. The oddity of contemplating the, err, quantity of pheromonic excretions of alicornic equines was only surpassed by the strange fact that apparently the Castle of Friendship ONLY HAS ONE BATHROOM! Like, that's some terrible civic planning. The ending was, hmm, odd. It broke the fourth wall, made me wonder why Discord really wasn't buttering the fluttering pegasus. I mean, he can shapeshift... What's the issue? I also could have gone without the bear bit, but I digress. This content will definitely turn some ponies away, but you can't make everypony happy, regardless. Actual score: 7.95/10

Grammar: 10/10

Characters: The best way to write characters, honestly, is for them to be just slightly out of character. An overly snarky Spike, a secretly lustful Fluttershy, a Twilight Sparkle that's strangely self aware of her own short comings. I always enjoy Spike when he's not being used as a running gag reel. He's honest, brutal, and ready with a quip so fast it gives me whiplash. Some of my favorite bits:
“Wait, how do you know what a whorehouse smells like?”

“I hang around your friends."

Seriously, how is this even possible? What normal pony has, like, sixty million gallons of weiner water sitting around in their-”

“Alicorn.”

Spike blinked. “Oh. Right.”

So, overall, good job on your characters. The flavor of personalities was top notch Score: 9/10

Prose: Easy to read, never too purple, and to the point. Whether due to the type of story, or your personal writing style, I enjoyed the lack of internal narration. So many stories are buried beneath the monsoon of internal thought, narrative exposition and exaggerated environment description that I feel I need a shovel to make it to the actual story. Score: 8/10

X-Factor: Adding two points for the witty Spike commentary, and one for Twilight being aware of her own propensity for creating magical hijinks. Minus one for the poor civic planning that created this silly plot in the first place. Total: +3

Overall Score: 8.45/10

<For archive purposes: 8.45/10>