[Unpublished stories cannot be embedded]

Story summary: It all began with a misunderstanding--A lie, told from one to another. This lie led to action, and from action grew guilt. And yet, through all of this, it's important to know that even if you think otherwise, there's always someone, somewhere looking out for you.

But sometimes, this guilt lingers. It haunts our memory, surfacing like an ever-present phantom in the dead of night. Sometimes, it's these very memories that hold us back from regaining the confidence we had lost so long ago.

Odium knows this well.

My analysis: You know when you read a good sequel and haven't read the first book? That's how I feel, but I have no clear view of what the earlier stories are. When you edit your story, there is a spot for prequals, where you put the story that heads before the one you are publishing. This author needs to use this feature, that way readers can get a solid timeline of the stories and the character development.

I can't help but feel that this missing piece of story detail ends up leaving people in the dark about what this story is about and how the character is developed.

Grammar: 10/10 I can't find any obvious mistakes here, although I am not the best at grammar. However, it's legible, and easy to follow.

Story plot: 6/10 (8/10) Yeah, I have two points on the side, but I'll save that for later. This story has an interesting concept, although lack of character knowledge can make the entire story a mystery to you. The premise of a haunted past adds some interesting phycology to this, along with how the character will grow in the future.

Story flow: 5/10 (7/10) I love the atmosphere set up here, although I wonder how the character is supposed to develop from here, trying to live with his past while also suffering from self isolation. It brings many questions, and I wish I could understand more about the character to understand how this builds on him, but that takes me to the simple error this author made.

Final score: 21/30 7/10

How to Improve: This story seems to be a rather good one, but the major flaw with the story is the fact that it doesn't site it's prequels. Without those, we don't know who this OC is, where he came from, and what significance this has. Go through the stories in this OC's cannon, take the like to the first one, put it in the prequel slot in the story editing section of the second story in the cannon, then the second in the third story, and so on and so forth.

This alone will help give readers a starting point to go to, and give them a clear path of where to start reading, instead of being lost in the middle of a plot line.

That alone till bring the score up to 25/30 8.3/10. It's an interesting idea, but you need that clear path for new readers to understand what this story is about.

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7557010
Thank you for the review.