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Firefoxino
Group Contributor

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Venomous Generosity is the story written by Crossover King, this story is to my best interpretation a test field, there are different styles in play here all in different chapters but still in a 20k story. This really makes the story sometimes jarring to read and at a point too easy to understand its own continuation and plot advancement. 

The story follows Rarity and her new Symbiote who starts to give her suggestions on how to act and do. Obviously something like that never went bad for the main character but I digress. As all of us expected things do go south and she gets basically betrayed and thrust into the link with Venom, this obviously spells disaster for the remaining main 5 and Sunset. 

Using the child of Venom, Carnage, they find out that the symbiote is weak to loud sounds and with that they manage to rip it off of Rarity who will go on and live her life.

The problems. Right at the beginning we see the usage of colour schemes to portray who is speaking, extremely bad, never do that. It is not a good idea, colours don’t really belong in a book unless it is a children one and furthermore it makes understanding who’s talking a chore. This won’t do, I see that this gets fixed in later chapters but you should also fix it in the beginning. 

Next, the plot while not bad is also not good, we see many usage of recurrent themes and tropes like the resistance of the possessed, the mafia boss which is really huge and extreme revenge to kick on the climax. They are all in different chapters with no real connection except Rarity and the symbiote, not only that but they feel extremely rushed which is even more obvious in the final chapters where the word count dwindles to a minimum. 

There is not much more to say, I can't really feel much from this, it is too much of a mess to get a right reading of it, neither extremely bad nor good.

Scores


Core Idea: 4/10 not extremely original basically all characters except the main 7 are from Spider Man with not much variation into them.

Grammar: 8/10 I spotted some errors here and there but mostly some phrases are completely wrong and hold little to no meaning, you’ll want to check.

Pacing: 1/10 The pacing is completely out there, we don’t have a great understanding of what is happening most of the time and everything happens too quickly for the reader to be engaged, this sort of thing is bad for a story, even more so if the reader is supposed to get attached to a character.

Final score: 4.3/10 The story may be for some who enjoy some casual reading and some overused tropes but more seasoned readers will quickly grow bored of it. 

For the author: Check back on this fic and fix some of it, you can't change it completely otherwise it will be basically another story but at least try to fix the biggest issues that are there. Other than that try to create a complete dry story for the plot, then put meat around it with interactions, dialogues and details. Try to also exercise in describing

“It was the human version of Punk Rock Rarity from "It Isn't the Mane Thing About You"

This is not ok, many readers know what you are talking about but those who don’t have no clue what you are even trying to convey.

Thank you so much for your honesty. I'll be sure to remember the points you have made when I start writing another crossover story involving Venom or any of the symbiotes.

Firefoxino
Group Contributor

7348168
Glad the review didn't shot you down at all you being pumped up and ready is all I want! :)

7348175
Thanks again. Really appreciate the support. :raritywink:

By the way, you wouldn't be opposed to reviewing a few of my other crossover stories, right?

7348177
You're the kind of author I like, who takes critique in stride and tries to learn from it. I've known people who get super butthurt over even the slightest negativity towards their work

7348238
I never consider myself as a perfect author. In fact, when I first joined this site exactly two years ago, I did not have any intention of becoming the best fanfiction author of all time. I simply wanted to write some stories, share my ideas with other people, and make some friends.

If one of my writings does have some problems, I would love to hear other people's opinions on how bad it is and how I can improve on it.

7348257
Good, yeah, I just do what I do for fun

Firefoxino
Group Contributor

7348177
No problem but first check the rules of the server to avoid any problem :D

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