Nothling by misterguest is the first story that I will review that will actually be in violation of my own guidelines for reviewing outlined in the forum. I have decided to give this genre a shot, to see where this would take me, so let’s go!

Before I carry on, note that this review will cover the plot in the first five published chapters in a detailed manner. Beware of spoilers ahead!

Summary

A Changeling mare disavowed and alone for six years is on her last legs. Living quietly and independently, Glow wishes to pass through the realities as she has lived. Unfortunately, fate did not allow this to happen, thanks to the intervention of a travelling musician.

Glow, a Changeling mare has been alone for six years now, becoming one of the disavowed, a 'Nothling'. On her own in the world, she seeks to live her life independently as a pony, hoof-crafting neon signage and lighting in solitude. The only thing is, she's dying because of it.

Dusk, a Thestral has been traveling as a musician almost all her life, performing at various locations with her best friend Kix trying and make a name for herself. She's been living with Kix in his heroin-addicted cousin's apartment in Las Pegasus, trying to save up enough for them both to get a place of their own.

From discomfort to admiration, from distrust to mutual understanding, from fear to anguish, the interaction between the characters inspire a tale of acceptance and openness to the world around.

Content + Flow

Note that this review will consider the story in a chronological manner.

The story kicks off with a gripping scene that paints the future of the turn of events portrayed which involves the main character being thrown into the courtroom to await her judgement, which certainly hooked the reader’s attention in my eyes, especially by giving the reader a taste of what is to come. In addition, I believe the author wants the author to slide themselves into the perspective of the main protagonist in the story, and through the emotive, experiential scene, empathise with the main character. The start is interesting, and it helped to set the story off on an inquisitive note. There are some subtle nuances that the scene depicts such as the fact that one of the four thrones where the princesses sit was empty and I wonder how this would all play out in this universe.

The story then goes back into the depths of history to showcase Glow working and surviving in Las Pegasus in spite of her true identity, working as a glassblower to make the neon lights that power the heart of the entertainment industry. The author explains her activities and her natural instinct of hunger through her night-time work, and integrates it with a lore that conveys the realities of being a Nothling. While I have to applaud the integration and the careful nuance introduced into the story to show this, I question whether the author could have done it in a more direct manner, especially concerning that “emptiness” that lingers within her body after a time of work. I felt that the author could have further elaborated on this “emptiness” on how it affected the Nothling’s ability to function, to operate or to sense and by how much to show how crucial this sense or inkling would be on the protagonist in a more effective manner.

Of course, Glow must deliver these bulbs after she makes them. And her “emptiness” gave her a genuine excuse to leave and deliver these bulbs earlier. Why? Well, the author discusses how this Nothling could feed on the minutest of emotion and feelings from the other ponies through the hope that they would respond to her humble greetings in the next morning. It is fitting that the author shows the natural instinct of the changeling that was in-built, programmed if you may, into her biology or psychology conflicting with her personal ideals to show that she is a soul without a direction almost. These personal ideals were explored in a short diversion by a broadcast blasted from the radio at a nearby store. While I posit that it is slightly, somewhat convenient to the plot, it did contrast the two sides in a more evident manner by tying the links together.

I think that, by and large, the introduction of the story achieved a significant amount of worldbuilding through obvious and inferential means. Considering that this is a unique realm, I believe that the author has most of the basic points hammered down into place as a robust foundation.

Following this comes the main subject of the story so far. This is when Glow meets this musician called Dusk Glider at the bar where Glow was installing her light bulbs at. I think that the author did justice to the development of the character of Glow and Dusk in their conversation, their mannerisms throughout the story and even the smooth transition towards them knowing each other. It opened up many opportunities that the author took advantage of to captivate the reader of the story and the scenes ahead. More interesting is the amount of attention Glow gave to the chorus of the song Dusk was performing, particularly when you look at the lyrics of the chorus in detail and link it to the personality of Glow – I enjoyed this!

Alright, here comes some points of discussion. One, I realise that the story alternates between the perspectives between Glow and Dusk and explores the plot in their respective first-person fairly frequently. Yes, it is fascinating that the author takes the initiative to showcase the perspective of the flow of events from both parties at play to give the reader a more comprehensive viewpoint of the story at the heart, to bring the reader closer towards that plot. And granted, some of the transitions between the two personalities explored were done particularly explicitly for the reader to grasp on quickly which aided the communication the reader would have, but I felt that this switching between the characters even numerous times in the same chapter of the story disrupted the flow of the story’s plot slightly. I opine that the author could consider changing the perspectives of the characters less often throughout the story would help to enhance the plot. It would give the author more of an opportunity to focus on each character and their emotions at this specific point of the story, rather than diverting the attention of the reader onto the different sides slightly too frequently, and make them more impactful.

Two, the attitude of Glow towards Dusk when Dusk started to gain “some level” of percipience into her true identity through their private conversation. Of course, if I were in Glow’s hooves, I would try to escape and run before my own identity becomes uncovered, which did happen in the story. Dusk did catch up to her out of her own good heart, even though she misinterpreted Glow as an anorexic pony, rather than a Nothling.

What I found somewhat difficult to pin down here was how readily Glow gave into the circumstances and how she quickly accepted that Dusk was going to know her true identity, in spite of the dangers of doing so after the Dusk “confronted” her after finally catching up to Glow. Certainly, the story explains that, to Glow’s own disbelief, that she could not detect any malicious emotions seeping out from Dusk. In fact, she could sense an understanding that emanated from her. However, I felt that the development of this aspect was rushed, for it seemed that Glow accepted this slightly too willingly, almost. Perhaps an arc of development that delves into the exploration of Glow’s own trust and distrust of her own inklings and the situation evolving around her would help to nuance this more precisely.

The next aspect of the story concerns with how Glow opened up her identity to Dusk despite the potential consequences that lurk and how generous and accepting Dusk was in allowing Glow to feed off from her own emotion as she took pity on the starving Glow. And here, I must admit that the story was captivating; the emotions inspired from their interactions were pretty authentic in my eyes. The interaction between the two was sharply and succinctly built throughout this portion of the story. The author balances each perspectives’ viewpoints and their altering personalities to suit the scene and helped to drive the key conflicts occurring in both Dusk’s and Glow’s minds as they themselves questioned their ideals and their emotion. Kudos!

Thereafter, the story focuses on Glow’s past, which was portrayed in a flashback, brought in from a thought of consideration after her meeting and understanding of Dusk. The flashback was again aptly done, but the break after that flashback seemed to be of an arbitrary time after Glow’s meeting with Dusk, as she was doing her lighting works after the flashback, but she was sending Dusk off from her porch prior to this flashback. I believe that there could have been a better linking transition either prior to, or after the flashback so that the storyline would flow in a more cogent manner, maybe with the development of how Glow mulled over the turn of events over the proceeding days.

On the other hoof, the author brings in the concept of “emptiness” again with a significant deeper meaning, which helps to showcase the development of the lack of identity Glow had due to the seemingly different worlds Glow has been accustomed to be in living in throughout her life. This is a good conclusive statement at the end of the chapter, though I wonder whether it was worthwhile for the author to expand upon this and build the scene in a more emotionally inspiring manner to end it on a more impactful note. I think the build-up generated from this development would benefit the story in this respect.

I think the most elusive aspect of the story concerns the final chapter of the story that I will review here, since it is the most recent one that has been published. The previous chapter explores the backstory of Dusk, while this chapter discusses the character that is Dusk. And…oh yeah, why did I call this chapter elusive? I honestly have no clue to where the author is going towards with this chapter. The chapter considers Dusk and her life away from her former city of residence Canterlot with her best friend hoping to save up and move to live together, with more…hmm…interesting content. I see that the author started this story from the perspective of Glow, and I believe he/she wishes to go about exploring the life of the other character which is Dusk.

I questioned myself when I was reading the story. Was the introduction of Dusk’s life with her best friend late? And after some deliberation, I have to say that the answer is probably not. I think the earlier chapter implied, if not explicitly informed the reader of, the persona who is Dusk. The flow of the story will be kept coherent, as the story explores her side of things when she comes home from her meeting with Glow, hence I find this opportune.

When I reached the end of the story, I was thinking about how this story could carry on. And unfortunately, I lack an easy answer. I am uncertain to whether the author would return back to the perspective of Glow or Dusk in the next chapter and continue exploring their thoughts, or whether the author could go towards that date Glow and Dusk arranged during their previous meeting.

Language

This is the first time I fail to find any technical mistakes from my casual read, which certainly implies that the author had a competent editor by his/her side.

However, there is something I do wish to talk about, and that is the usage of the present tense. I am personally not against the usage of the present tense in the story, though I wondered whether the usage of the past tense would be more appropriate in some aspects, especially when the author was focusing on regaling the tale of Glow’s own past. I think that would be a more apt way to show that this section of the story is focusing on something that happened in the past, in Glow’s past, specifically so that the flow of ideas throughout the story could be more coherent.

Stance

This is an enchanting read that I will certainly recommend. To improve, the author should…err…read the comments I have above…because, like, I have no idea how to generalise them in a nutshell. Of course, you are welcome to ask and inquire on anything about the story with me.

Content/Plot: 8.3/10
Flow/Communication: 7/10
Language/Readability: 8.5/10
Overall: 7.9/10

Side Note

So, did this story convince me to consider reviewing stories of a similar genre?

Yes…yes it did.