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By Azure Drache

Summary:
We have our happy, little, black dragon that is living life as he pleases. He has his treasure, a massive wonderfully built cave, and everything he needs to be happy. Or so he thinks, until one night he meets an especially fluffy pegasus. Now, everything, or mostly everything, has changed around him. This is their story: how they met, the troubles and good times that come from it, adventures and heroics, and some surprising family relations to a famous canon character, Daring Do! Learn how it all began and how a dragon learned to love a pony.

First Reaction:
A love story between a fluffy pegasus and a dragon? Sign me up! I loved this story right from the start, where our dragon narrator enters a bar and hears a cute voice saying she is sorry for being late for their date. He finds it to be a cute, fluffy pegasus tied up by two minotaurs and in danger. As he comes over and touches her floofy fur, super fluffy, he realizes how pleasurable the feel of the floof is and purrs. Then starts the relationship of our dear pair.
Not to get too summary of the entire story, as that will somewhat come later. I really liked the style of writing in Azure's story. There are few that can really pull off the first person perspective quite this well, providing the right amount of comedy and snarky comments from the narrator, as well as glimpses into the future of our narrator, without making things droll or just jump around too much. Azure has glimpses into the future just enough to make the reader want to read more.
We need more good dragon based MLP stories like this. I see plenty of ones based on OC ponies or changelings, (not that I'm complaining about the changeling ones of course) but far less on dragons or other non-pony species canon in the show. So seeing this lovely tale (and that it has sequels, equally as good) just made me want to read it all the more!

Did I like it?: I think the answer is an obvious YES! It was fresh, something new to read, about a fierce dragon who still knows how to show his soft side when the time comes for it. A quality flavor of 1st person I don't see often, and such lovable characters even with majority of them being OC's.

What I didn't like: Not much, the editor has done a good job with helping with grammar and spelling, though there are a few spots here and there still, especially closer to the end. They took away minuscule amounts of joy from my entertainment of the story though. A story like this can get away with a few spelling/grammar issues and still be top notch to me.

The heart:
This story is filled with passion and heart. It is clear Azure really cares about what he writes and making it sound as great as possible. Emotion filled as possible. I laughed, cried, got irritated at the characters at times but that was how I feel Azure wrote it to be. Seeing Black Death and Danger 'Fluffy' Do as their relationship grew from one of just commitment to ones words, to an honest and love filled embracing of each other's differences and what made them each special just filled my heart and made me want to read more and stay up late into the night until I could barely keep my eyes open. The heart and soul is strong here, as obsessed with Danger's fluffiness our dear Dragon is, to all the fun, sweet things they do for each other, to Black Death rescuing her when she goes off to find a relic before her cousin Daring Do can snag it. I don't think you will be disappointed here. 9/10

The characterization, which has been hinted at some already, was excellent. Everyone was believable and had their flaws. Often with OC driven stories you will have at least one Mary/Gary Stu kind of character, but I wouldn't call any of this story's characters one here. They are all well developed and have their good and bad points. (You wouldn't expect a grumpy dragon to love fluffiness so much it makes him purr when petting Fluffy's wings or chest fluff, for one, but he does.) Black Death does have trouble controlling his anger at times, but it fits his species and character. All the things one would regularly see as negative dragon traits: such as anger issues, aggression when it comes to their things, killing first and asking questions later, etc, are not used in the same negative way we would usually see these. Sure they are still negative, but he can control them better than the average stereotypical dragon and uses them to his advantage.
Danger 'Fluffy' Do is just as enjoyable as her famous cousin Daring Do, if not more so. She is witty, strong, brave, and knows just how to calm her fiery dragon down. Her character growth as she comes to care about Black Death is just adorable, and her second form she gains from her kirin collar just spices things up even more and puts them on a slightly more even playing field.
Our one canon character, Daring Do, we meet near the end when she and Black Death are trying to save Danger from little native creatures using her in a ceremony. Her character holds up well to what we know of her from the show: stubborn, strong, smart, and able to help when the need calls for it. She fits in well with the others and shows her love for her cousin well.
Also, let's not forget the Gods! They were certainly a surprise, but a fun one at that. I enjoyed how they were dragons as well, and their own sly parts in the story to make things work and set things up for the sequels. They were fun, creative characters that kind of reminded me of Discord at times. 9/10

The story/concept has somewhat been done before (but then there are few that haven't been done before) of a beauty meeting a 'beast' and falling in love, but Azure has woven it into a uniqueness of its own filled with adventure, good sex, accurate and beautiful descriptions. I'm always a sucker for a good love story, and Azure does not disappoint. As it goes along we don't see the traditional falling in love story. They are not falling in love just because of how each other are, but much of it is based on attraction and lust for the other. Which is different and I like it. Makes for a good, steamy sex scene, but I'll get to that later. The story isn't fast paced, it goes leisurely, but it works for this kind of story. It has its fight scenes and adventure scenes, but all in all it is focusing more so on the development between our two main characters as they get closer and learn to respect one another. 9/10

The setting is beautiful and unique from what I have read before. One of the things I like most is how he did his dragon's den. It's an entire thing of its own: they grow everything there, have his locked room full of treasures, real beds and grass and furniture. Being we spend a good part of the story here, it is nice to have something more creative than a basic cave with a few tunnels leading to his treasure and not much else. We also see very few canon characters, which is nice. having something totally set apart from the main world of MLP, where the timeline in the show doesn't matter, just the timeline of what our characters experience, makes for a lot more room for the writer to say what he wants and not be constrained to add in things about this or that episode. 10/10

The Sex: Now, this story keeps it pretty clean (for a horny dragon and mare who is exploring such ideas and gets horny as well with or without her collar.) The actual sex only happens in one chapter, and that is written so that nothing happens that must be read if one is to understand the rest of the story. I don't mind a good sex scene, but I know there are others who do, so making this to where they can skip it and be fine is certainly worthwhile for them.
As for the actual sex scene though, it is quite steamy. A nice aroma of sweet and spiciness throughout, each of them getting some time for fun. I would have loved for it to be a little longer, but that is just the changeling in me loving some good love. *Winks and licks lip.* 8/10

Spelling/Grammar- Now this is the only one I have a few problems on, but I do understand both the writer and editor are not originally native English speakers so can give you a break on that. I've seen MUCH worse and there are not enough problems here to make it hard to read or put one out of the story mind set and back into the real world. It has some problems, but are small. For non native speakers this is very good! 8/10

Final thoughts:
I am so sorry this took so long to review, as I did read it quickly and it is an amazing story! (Along with its sequels. Go read them as well!) This being my first long fic to review I have been nervous about reviewing it so I hope this sounds good to you. This story has been a fun read. The characters were refreshing and felt so real. The setting was beautiful and well fleshed out, I could feel like I was actually there! I loved the quirky side remarks from our silly dragon narrator. The sex was great, if shorter than I would have liked. Was kind of short in general, but with the sequels it makes it work and it ends at a plausible place to leave room for said sequels, which worked just fine.

Heart: 9/10
Characters: 9/10
Story Concept: 9/10
Setting: 10/10
Sex: 8/10
Spelling/Grammar: 8/10
Overall: 53/60 or 8.8/10

To Azure- you have an amazing talent and are a great writer. With such a vivid imagination and attention to detail I see you going far if you keep this up. This (and the sequels!) were all great reads and I look forward to more from you in the future. Keep up the good work and I hope to hear many more stories of our wonderful duo (and their adorable daughter!

To the reader- if you like grumpy, big softy dragons, and extra fluffy, witty, fun pegasi; adventure, romance, a good mutual affection/love story and lots and lots of fluffiness, you will like this story. Be sure to read the sequels as well! Our main characters go through a lot, and it will be sure to be an enjoyable read.

7272776
Thanks for this wonderful review! '(Yes I know I am biased to the limit)

Your summary of the story sounds even better than what I have wrote for the story. If it was written in first person I would simple copy paste it and use it from now on.

I am also happy you are fine with the 1person view. Some told me TBD says to much to the reader and interupts the flow. Though I thought the amount is right and could be even more sometimes. Still I reduced it a bit after the second chapter. (Fun fact: The first 4 chapters was written in one week during holiday) I wonder a bit though why you did not adress the Pacta sund savanda part? I mean it is a big deal and many readers find it very entertaining. Your opinion on it?

Also I really worked hard to not make a mary/gary sue, good it worked out. About the god's though, they are kind of powerful, I mean they are god's, but do you want to know a secret? They always look like the species which is looking at them, so for Fluffy they are alicorns, for kirins they are kirins.

About the lair, well, you should have heard Schattens reacion to it! He was complaining how I could do that, writing a dragonslair that has some 'standarts' A dragon lair has to be the way you said as example with all the tunnels and such he said, but TBD is a dragon of higher class, in his opinion at least

The Sex: Now, this story keeps it pretty clean

I doubt that actually. It is a adventure story with a sex chapter, not a clop story with adventure parts. It is a 3.5k words long sex only chapter, I think that is fair enough

*

So my biased mind say this is a great first longer story review! I may use it for the next promotion of the story, it really feels good to read such nice words about my story

7272909

Thanks for this wonderful review! '(Yes I know I am biased to the limit)

You're welcome, and I would say you are allowed to be Biased. ;)

Your summary of the story sounds even better than what I have wrote for the story. If it was written in first person I would simple copy paste it and use it from now on.

Awww Your so sweet. Maybe I should have wrote it in first person? Hehe

I am also happy you are fine with the 1person view. Some told me TBD says to much to the reader and interupts the flow. Though I thought the amount is right and could be even more sometimes. Still I reduced it a bit after the second chapter. (Fun fact: The first 4 chapters was written in one week during holiday) I wonder a bit though why you did not adress the Pacta sund savanda part? I mean it is a big deal and many readers find it very entertaining. Your opinion on it?

I think it just depends on the person really? I like books where the narrator talks to the reader, (or movies too, kind of reminds me of a mellowed out version of Emperor's New Groove, perhaps?? and that is a favorite of mine soo....) Heh well what better thing to do with one's holiday than write fun pony and dragon words eh? I know I've been there on holidays I'm stuck away from family and friends. :P
As for the Pacta sunt servanda part, that was simply because my tired brain totally forgot that bit. (I blame there being so much I wanted to talk about, being tired, and it being my first long fic review. ;P) Oh I most certainly find it entertaining as well! Gotta love those rules that make you follow them, but can be interpreted differently depending on who is promising them. Like when he Promised Lucia he would let one of them go for the information, but didn't specify which of them he would let go. The dinner scene was also cute and hilarious as Fluffy kept having to remind him of the Pacta sunt servanda. XD So yeah, I agree with the other readers in that it was an entertaining addition to the story.

Also I really worked hard to not make a mary/gary sue, good it worked out. About the god's though, they are kind of powerful, I mean they are god's, but do you want to know a secret?

They always look like the species which is looking at them, so for Fluffy they are alicorns, for kirins they are kirins.

*nods* It worked out great! Ooooh that actually makes sense! Hmm so would they be alicorns if they appeared to Celestia or Luna, or something even higher god tierlike? That is very interesting, *ponders the possibilities.*

About the lair, well, you should have heard Schattens reacion to it! He was complaining how I could do that, writing a dragonslair that has some 'standarts' A dragon lair has to be the way you said as example with all the tunnels and such he said, but TBD is a dragon of higher class, in his opinion at least

He hated it that much huh? *giggles* I agree he is not your typical dragon, he is no red dragon like the one from the show where he just lazes on his treasure all day! He is much more sophisticated than that, and deserves a home that matches his higher class.

The Sex: Now, this story keeps it pretty clean

I doubt that actually. It is a adventure story with a sex chapter, not a clop story with adventure parts. It is a 3.5k words long sex only chapter, I think that is fair enough

Exactly! Which is good. I mean, I do love a good clop fic, even more a clop fic with plot (the story kind. :P) but a story that is adventure/story driven with just a few nice sexy scenes? Even better.

So my biased mind say this is a great first longer story review! I may use it for the next promotion of the story, it really feels good to read such nice words about my story

Awwww thanks so much! Sorry about the late reply to this as well. I think that would be awesome if you use it for the next promotion!

7274601
I already did use it^^ It is in the shamelss group

Can you plaese use spoiler tags if you quote my writing like the god's thing? Itis a secret And for Luna and Celestia: It depends, eithere they show up as the tribe of pony they where before ascension or as Alicorn as well i think.

Awww Your so sweet. Maybe I should have wrote it in first person? Hehe

If you manage to do so I will use it at some point

7274611
Ahhh must have missed seeing that post. Hehe glad you were able to use it! :D

Oh right missed that. Spoiler tag added! And ooooh sounds like fun to me.

If you manage to do so I will use it at some point

Well then I just might have to try! Just not tonight heh.