Hello, and these are the diaries of peter willis,the last remaining crew member of Alpha team Bravo 7 from the support vessel of uss Legitima, and these are the post- war diaries, of the last remaining average american..

What do you think? Edits?

Suggested revisions:

1)

My name is Peter Willis. I'm the last remaining crew member of the support vessel USS Legitima. These are the post-war diaries of an average American.

Changes: Condensed information, removed repeating words, minimalist approach.

2)

Hello. I'm Peter Willis, an average American...and the last remaining crew member of the USS Legitima. These are the diaries of Alpha Team/Bravo 7, brothers in a post-war voyage.

Changes: Condense information, dramatic approach.

3)

Can anyone hear me? My name is Willis. Peter Willis. My crew and I are...were part of the USS Legitima, an American post-war vessel. Our story is kept within these diaries...

Changes: Condensed information, survivalist approach.

4)

The USS Legitima. A post-war vessel designed to support the remains of civilization. Within it lies the diary of Peter Willis: average American, crewmember, and the only remaining soul aboard.

Changes: Enhanced information, outsider's perspective, post-event approach.