A Collection of Tall Tales

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/377032/a-collection-of-tall-tales

Story by Sir Real

Review by Lome
Verdict: 6.8/10 (Reject)

Note: At the time of this review, “A Collection of Tall Tales” was marked incomplete and contained two chapters- “The Olive Tree” and “Bastard Moon”.

Contrary to what its title implies, “A Collection of Tall Tales” reads much more like a cliff notes version of a medieval legend or a Grecian fable. This holds true both in the writing style and in the overall theme and tone of each story. “Tall Tales” is at its best when its writing feels archaic and epic, and at its worst when it feels rushed and confused.

“Tales” has a tendency to run headlong through its narrative in favor of pushing the story forward so quickly I am often left scratching my head trying to puzzle out exactly what happened within a single paragraph of prose. The author does well to call themselves "Sir Real", as the narrative is indeed quite surreal and feels extremely improvisational and unpolished. Consider the following paragraph from “Bastard Moon”:

“A young colt in the audience slipped away from his parents, enraptured by a flittering moth. The young colt followed, winding through the crowd of adults so intently focused on the queen before finally weaving his way out of the courtyard and into the quiet streets. The pale moon was so beautiful, but he would have liked for it to go away so that he could again play in the jovial warmth of the sun with his friends. He didn’t see his friends anymore. Maybe they decided they were no longer his friends and blamed him for the lasting cold. Black, while a symbol for power and impregnability, could just as easily be seen as the color of the accursed witch, ever secretive and seen as a bad omen.”

There’s a lot to unpack here, certainly far too much information far too quickly. The focus is lost, and the narrative shifts dramatically from action to scene setting, inner monologue, and back to scene setting. This particular paragraph certainly would benefit from being expanded upon and made into at least three distinct paragraphs with three distinct narratives. As it is now, its very hard to follow and refers to characters and ideas that are never again woven into the overarching narrative.

Another example of a sentence that confused me was the following:
“The young colt cut two cragodiles into many cubes and tossed them back into the river to be reborn as more formidable protectors in order to prove his worth in crossing.”

I am left with so many questions that it distracts from the prose for quite a while after the fact. Why does cutting the creatures make them more formidable? Who is he proving his worth to if the two protectors of the river are asleep? Why is this Colt who was simply chasing a moth suddenly so far from home (crossing Savannah, Desert, and Forest)? What is his motivation for continuing forward?

Similar problems crop up in “The Olive Tree”, in which a beautiful mare ventures on a long journey to find an olive branch. Her motivation is muddy at best, and gives way to confusion as midway through her tale she is granted golden wings and suddenly sinks into a strange purgatory.

A tall tale is supposed to be unbelievable because of its scope and scale, exaggeration and embellishment. Unfortunately for “Tall Tales” these aspects are replaced instead with rapid fire scene changes that desperately need expansion and explanation in order to be more properly understood. In this way the story feels much more like an archaic fable with a confused moral and a fair deal of deliberate repetition of prose.

I’m rather fond of the anachronistic, and in a lot of ways the writing does remind me of translations of ancient stories, unfortunately I’m also left puzzled over the incredibly fast pacing. I’m also a little befuddled by the  way both stories simply end without much in the way of a conclusion or moral. Thematically the two stories feel similar, but I’m also left wondering if the two tales are connected or if they simply take place in the same universe ala “Black Mirror”.

In conclusion, “Tall Tales” is an interesting attempt at an archaic and loose style of prose that isn’t for everyone, but also has its own otherworldly charm. Part of the fun for me is attempting to piece my own narrative together and interpret the story as best I can. Perhaps others will find these tales make perfect sense and have a deep meaning and significance, but for me, it’s pacing and writing is too wild to enjoy properly.

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In conclusion, “Tall Tales” is an interesting attempt at an archaic and loose style of prose that isn’t for everyone, but also has its own otherworldly charm. Part of the fun for me is attempting to piece my own narrative together and interpret the story as best I can. Perhaps others will find these tales make perfect sense and have a deep meaning and significance, but for me, it’s pacing and writing is too wild to enjoy properly.

I absolutely loved this summation; it pretty much encapsulates what I was attempting to convey. I really enjoyed writing these two short stories, and that "otherworldly charm" is precisely what I was going for. I can say with confidence that Tall Tales was a wacky, experimental endeavor that reads like a fairy tale that ignores logic in favor of something more dreamlike in quality, and isn't representative of how I usually write or structure a story. It's a bite-sized piece of "what?".

Thank you very much for the criticism, Lome; I find the score to be fair. Hopefully you were entertained at the very least by Tall Tales. Keep up the good work!