Title: All the Happy Little Reunions
Author: Samey90
Reviewed by: That on Rational Critic
Amount read: ALL
Verdict: 7 out of 10 Reject
Date: 4 October 2018

All the Happy Little Reunions is a story that is difficult to do. With its rich cast characters, and Twilight’s Castle to serve as a focal point of the setting, this story brings about believable interactions between some of Equestria’s most dangerous characters. And, with its highly stylized writing, this is a story that is hard to forget about.
This is a story that is broken down into numerous different scenes that each explore different elements of the back story. Each scene is well designed, each featuring their own set of characters and a different scene, and have openings with their own conflicts, causes, and effects.
However, for all of the story’s strengths, it is not without its weaknesses. Though the issues with this story are few and far in between, the high standards of this review service serves to require this reviewer to look critically at all mistakes ard errors.
To begin with, early in the story there is a simple spelling error. “Secundo” is not correct in the passage that it is used in; this error is less of a spelling error and more of a translation error. “Secundo” is spanish for “to second”, not second (as in being the second in line for something), and the manner in which it is being used is incorrect. “Secundo” is a transitive verb, and in this situation, what should be used is “Segundo” which is a noun.
Next we follow with a grammar error during the flashback to Yakyakistan.
“‘The Great and Powerful Trixie obscenities in the milk of the whore that is the Storm King’s mother!’ Trixie shouted from under her blankets.
The colourized word in this quote is grammatical error. Obscene is a noun, and “obscenities” is the plural form of this noun. What is needed in this line is a verb, and unfortunately even “Obscene” will not do for it is an adjective.

“‘Anyway, we’ll better tell Trixie the big news before she-’”
The colourized word here is also a grammatical error. “We’ll” is a contraction for “we will” and “we will better tell Trixie” is not grammatically correct.

After the grammar errors there are a few writing issues. For example, in the scene where Trixie meets up with Jackpot for the first time in years becomes confusing after the interjection of Granny Smith into their conversation. The scene that was set up doesn’t mention Granny Smith being present in the room with the two, and, while it certainly is not required that the scene is set up to specifically announce each characters presence, the way Granny Smith just comes into the fold leaves much to be desired. This is something that continues to be a problem for the remainder of the story. Characters will just interject in conversations seemingly out of nowhere, with no indication of them ever being there to begin with, such as the case with the introduction of Pear Butter.

For all of this story’s issues, this is still a well made piece. The is a great deal that is being done correctly here in terms of storytelling. The characterization is on point, and the characters actually have development to them. Having good characterization is a must have for fanfiction, however, having good character development of non-original characters is something that separates many good stories from the bad ones. This reviewer sees much to look forward to in this authors future in writing. With editing and revision, this story could easily come back in the next cycle as an Accepted or even a featured story.

6609430
Thanks for the review

“‘The Great and Powerful Trixie obscenities in the milk of the whore that is the Storm King’s mother!’ Trixie shouted from under her blankets.

I already explained this to so many people that I'm considering getting rid of it: it's a For Whom the Belle Tolls reference, where Hemingway literally translated a Spanish curse as "I obscenity in the milk of your mother" since he apparently wasn't allowed to write "shit" in this place. Trixie just says it in third person.

6610061
I got you, I've only read bits and pieces of For Whom the Belle Tolls, so don't mind me if that's what your going for.