In front of you there is a huge, burnished metal door that is heavy as sin, three times the height of a man and half that distance in width. It is a full cubit thick and bears a head-sized ring of brass as well as a complicated pressure-plate lock.

An inscription on it reads, roughly:

Go away. This is not a place to be. If you do try to enter here, you will fail and also be cursed. If somehow you succeed, then do not complain that you entered unwarned, nor bother us with your deathbed prayers.

Signed,

The Gods