Martianmen 51 members · 34 stories
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(hypothetical situation)

You're a senior hiring manager for your country's government.
You meet an extraordinary applicant eager to work for the government.

You know this applicant is so competent and revolutionary that they will change their department beyond imagination.
The only problem: they say "put me where I'm needed most"

How do you decide where to put them?
You know that they will have an astronomical impact on whatever department you put them in.

Where do you put them?
What would say to your country's leader to justify your choice?

4418403 The gulag. Because nothing shall change the system. The system is perfect. All hail the system.

4418412
That came so far out of left field... I didn't... Why am I crying?

4418403
Department of Internal Affairs. If The Most Competent Applicant Ever can't make heads or tails of the place enough to even know what's needed where, then I think "bureaucratic paralysis" wouldn't even begin to describe how much of a problem the place has. "Preventing the imminent breakdown of the national government" sounds like justification enough to me.

4418403
The department of unfucking shit up.

4418426
This is the kind of answer I was looking for.

4418434
So the department of defence?

4418414 Yes comrade, cry at the beauty of the system! The system loves all who abide by it.

4418437
Please do tell what system would imprison the most competent individual ever?
Tell me your system that is without flaw?
:scootangel:

4418436
No, the department if unfucking shit up.

You know, the guys they send in after the othrr departments fuck something up. Goes from diplomacy to PR.

4418452 Competence leads to ruler ship, and the Czar is the only ruler we will ever need. Any pointed out "flaw" in the system is western propaganda, and the one spreading it shall go to the gulag.

4418453
Oh! The department of UNfucking shit up.
I'm sorry I thought you meant to department of Fucking shit up.
:rainbowlaugh:

4418456
It's all so clear now.
Do I get a repent bonus?

4418462 No, gulag will only take you wife and kids though.

4418459
...
You thought I meant the United Nations department of fucking shit up?

Yeah they kinda need the guy too.

4418468
Shame we can't just rip em in half right?

4418471
...

Whaaaaaaaaaat?

4418456
Therefore, the Czar is replaced by the Man of Steel, who is of course of inherently superior robotic competence

Kidding aside, though, that would be funnier if it wasn't something so many people actually believe. European Facism pretty much ran on the idea that success at violently taking control of the government is proof of your superior ability at running the government. Therefore, a Europe run by dictators with literally no skillset other than using violence on civilian targets. Bright idea that worked out ever so well right there.

4418403 I will simply put him in the department where his talent will be most useful, regardless of his opinions. If the government tells me why I put him there, I will simply say that I make my choice based on merit, not on ideology.

Tch. The answer is so obvious I can't believe nobody's said it yet. You make them your assistant. Then you can dump your work on them and take credit for the results. Ideally, that will make you stand out and get you promoted. You take them with you all the way to the top.

4418403 The higher echelons, of course.

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