In which the typical Brony goes to Equestria cliche is given an unexpected spin. I'll admit, it caught me off-guard when I first saw it. Then I read it and enjoyed it. Then I reread it, solely for this review.

Genre is Sad and Alternate Universe. I feel one of these tags is... inadequate for this type of story, but I'll get to that later.

Wordcount is 1,563 words in length. Another short one-shot. Hey, it's got 400 more words than most of the other one-shots I did in the past, sans Fall of the Caribou.

Grammar: 9.5/10. Near-flawless, but I did spot an error at the end. Just one error. Thus, half a point and no more has been deducted, since it could be easily mended.

Characterization: ... 3.5/10, for the main character, Joshua. The story's not long enough to flesh him out, though he does sorta-kinda react accordingly upon arriving in Equestria.

Use of show canon: 1.5/10. Mentions Mane Six, and Celestia and Luna potentially being in Canterlot. That's about it,

Plot consistency: 5/10, easy to follow, but it blathers on about pointless drivel in the first half without showing it. Still, it sticks to its formula.

Use of OC's: Joshua, as a first-person type narrator who goes to Equestria as his OC, gets a 3.5/10. Again, this story doesn't flesh him out enough.

Coherency: 7/10, easy to understand, but it is detracted due to said blathering.

Extra things depending on genre: AU nets a 6/10, because Joshy arrives in a surprisingly devoid-of-life-of-ALL-kinds version of Equestria. The houses and other structures are there, but the life that crafted it wasn't. Sad... 1/10, because I didn't feel for Joshy's plight, though it is understandable that arriving in such a version of Equestria would be like a slap to the face. I feel the Tragedy tag would have been more fitting. That's because...

Touchy topics: suicide and fadfic. The suicide nets a -4.5/5, because the only realistic thing about it is that in this case, death was instantaneous. Now, the fadfic part nets a -2.5/5, because of the aforementioned spin. Thus, it adds up to -7... without applying the formula itself.

The verdict: Story scores 30/80, or 38%—mind you, that's even WITHOUT the touchy topics factored into it. With the touchy topics present? Because I did my math and the bloody result came out in a solid NEGATIVE THREE-HUNDRED NINETY-TWO, the story scores... 0%. I shit you not. Something tells me I need to re-work my own damned formula, and if I could get away with it I'd just subtract the seven from the thirty and net this story 29% overall. Alternatively, if I just multiplied -7 by two and took away from the overall score? With that method in place, the fic scores a 16/80, or a 20%. In short, it is a flop, no matter how I slice it, apparently. However, it has taken a worn idea and spun it, which while I do appreciate, does not save this story's other flaws from scrutiny. As in, first-person blathering and telling without showing in the first half.

Mind you, the score is me being lenient, if only because of the NEGATIVE THREE-HUNDRED NINETY-TWO that I somehow got with my formula. I'm not giving the story a negative percentage; that would be just wrong and unjust, even for a standard bad-bordering-on-meh story like this. I'd reserve negative scores for stories like Quest of the Cool Pony or Nightmare Star's Revenge, but I digress.

EDIT: Doesn't change the fact that this story flops, but I tweaked the formula guidelines again.