Hoowee, back on board here! Found a book that seemed interesting in both the title itself and its short description. Let’s see if it can tug on my heartstrings shall we? Oh and Elimo will be reviewing this with me!
Elimo: Hello everybody! Let us get to the reviewing now!

The End of Immortality by DemonBrightSpirit
4,581 Words
Genre: Drama, Sad, Tragedy

Grammar: 9/10
Grammar is very much in the excellent category here. There were a few spelling errors in the story but that’s about it. The sentences are written well as the sequences are in good order and do not lose sight of the plot given here. While reading the story, I could, shall I say, almost feel the emotions being felt as I continued reading the book. Emotions were racking highly to the situation at hand here and it does not disappoint in the tags used here.
Characterization: 8/10
Every character involved in the story was true to their canon selves though there were contradictions for some of them at most. For example, Shining Armor’s lack of trust to Luna. He did back up with reason as to why he doesn’t trust Luna sure, but still isn’t that kind of low to not trust her even after the events of her returning? He has seen her develop right? Well, I guess I can’t say much about it since almost everyone here seriously has trust issues with Luna with the event of her as Nightmare Moon.
Use of Canon: 8/10
As said above, the characters were in canon for the most part. Not only that but it also sticks to canon with some of the events that came to be such as the royal wedding and of Twilight becoming a princess while adding reasoning to such events. All this happens before Season Four and Five so those, whether not they are canon or not is up to the author, but for the most part, the canon sticks fairly close.
Consistency: 7/10
The plot is almost given away by the title and its description. Princess Celestia is dying of old age and has a short time of being in the mortal plane. The plot is very much consistent throughout the story giving into Celestia’s beginning of time getting to her, Luna’s distress of being alone again and everyone’s reaction to hearing this. Of course this is where the delegates say their word, lacking any trust to Luna. While this does not contradict to the reasoning, it leaves some questionable doubts. Why do they distrust Luna so much? Even after the events and of her reformation they still do not trust her at all only trusting Celestia. This somewhat does not leave a good impression on me, but I can’t say much about it.
Coherence: 7.5/10
The flow was done well for the most part. The events leading up to this are rather small, as expected for a small story. However, the impact on this is felt on every delegate that came to meet with Princess Luna when she delivers the news of death being upon Celestia. The flashback detailing to time closing on Celestia did felt a bit off but not much to hinder the flow. We get a switched perspective to Twilight first hand to her speaking with Celestia. While it is not sudden, it did detract the flow a bit. The perspective shifts once again to Luna this time in the meeting. Again, not sudden, but did detract a bit of flow.
Drama: 7.5/10
Elimo: Can I do these last three please?
Eh sure why not, go on ahead Elimo…
Elimo: Yay! The Drama is definitely there. From the reaction from everyone discovering the Sun Princess, to the delegates apparent distrust of Luna of worry of her backstabbing them, and finally to Twilight speaking with Celestia herself, it makes sense since they’re all freaking out about Celestia’s imminent death.
Sad: 8/10
Elimo: I swear I think I might have shed a few tears myself if I were in their situation. The story already spoiled itself on the description so the effect was kind of lost there. But that doesn’t detract from it. The sentences shared between Twilight and Celestia and Luna’s denial of her sister’s death will pull at anyone’s heartstrings if one went through a similar ordeal.
Tragedy: 8/10
Elimo: The tragic part of this story happens at the end. I’m going to put spoilers here for those who haven’t read the story yet. The built-up to the death was well-done. We get to the last few seconds of Celestia’s life slipping and Luna desperately pleading with her sister to stay with her. In the end it was all for naught as she became still. However, Luna was not going to accept this and does something almost miraculous. Life returned to Celestia as she slowly opens her eyes. Now this is where the tragedy begins and goodness, it was so unexpected. As we see from Celestia’s perspective that she is in fact alive again, she looks to find a… scorch mark on the floor where Luna once stood. One can make a guess that Luna sacrificed herself to revive Celestia at the cost of her life signified by her ebony crown and four silver shoes left behind. This pulled not broke Celestia’s heart but mine as well seeing her sacrifice her own life to keep Celestia alive. It’s this part that will pull the hearts of people should they get to this.

65/80 = 81% Accepted

Elimo: I… I think I need a few moments to catch my breath; can you take over for me? I need to let all these emotions go…
Sure, take your time Elimo. Now with that out of the way, I can say my part. My heart felt like it shattered into a lot of pieces when I started reading this. Reading the title and the description, I was prepared for the upcoming feels, but when I got to the sudden twist at the end… I felt like I wanted to shed a few tears especially while I was listening to this song just to get into the story at hand.

If there is one note I’d like to add, is that the way story ended, leaves a possibility of a sequel. With the loss/death of her sister looming over her again, only this time permanent, Celestia is probably going to go through the five stages of depression through her life. All in all, this was a fine story I’ve read and I’m glad to have read this.