I’m here with a long overdue review for Harmony Undone: The Rise of Order, a story by Zodiacspear. Alright, let’s begin.
Genre: Adventure
Wordcount: 56, 070 words.
Grammar: 10/10. Grammar is impeccable, as far as I could tell.
Characterization: 9/10. For the most part, the characterization is pretty good, with a spot here and there where I had to question whether a character would actually do that, mainly with the whole ‘conflict with immortality’ between Twilight and Celestia. I kinda had to question whether or not Celestia would have waited to tell Twilight the truth. Oh, and the odd moment of whether or not Pinkie Pie would actually be that random.
Use of OC’s: 5/10. This is my biggest issue with the story, to be honest. I get that Tyranny is supposed to be the physical manifestation of order and all that, but it honestly it doesn’t feel that way. Tyranny feels more like Sombra v2.0 rather than his own unique villain, with all his trapping of ponies in shadows, creating shadow monsters, and imprisoning ponies in crystal marbles. He also seems to go through all these changes in power throughout. One moment he’s so powerful the elements can’t even defeat him so Celestia and Luna have imprison him in separate areas just to subdue him, the next he’s defeated because a pony distracted him.
Use of show canon: 6/10. As above, I had an issue with Tyranny in this section. I’m not totally sure if Tyranny is just more powerful than Discord or what, but I had a problem with the Elements being unable to imprison him in stone and doing that just fine with Discord, considering that they’re opposites and all that. I also didn’t get why the Elements couldn’t defeat Tyranny’s full form, even though Discord didn’t stand a chance. Honestly, it’s mainly an issue with Tyranny, not with the story’s plot or anything else.
Plot Consistency: 9/10. Not much to say here. Once again, it’s just Tyranny’s power shifts.
Coherence: 10/10. Everything made sense when it came to storyline, and everything flowed smoothly.
Adventure-ish-ness: 9/10. This story has all the trappings of an epic sprawling adventure, so if you like adventure, check it out.
Final score: 58/70, or 82%, so it is accepted.
Final comments: this is generally a good story, with excellent storyline and plot. The one reason I would consider avoiding it is if you’re averse to Order Spirits or just adventure in general. That, or if you type fast like me and hate spelling Tyranny as Tryanny.

4128668 I thank you for the honest review of my story, Smaug. I'm glad it was enough to meet the Story Standards approval! Don't worry about how long it took to review, I understand that real life takes presence over pony fiction. I am just glad it finally happened.

As for the pointed out weak point of the story, I can honestly understand where you are coming from with my OC villain Tyranny (and I made the same mistake of typing Tryanny often enough to be hilarious). I had often compared him to Sombra when I wrote, but as he developed, I realized that Tyranny has many significant differences from what little canon characterization that Sombra had received. While I won't go into the gritty details here, I will say there is reason for every aspect of Tyranny. I should have been mindful and made them more obvious in the story telling.

Again, thank you for the review! It is greatly appreciated.

4129756 I'm glad you enjoyed the review.