M235
Genre: Tragedy/Sad/HiE
2359 words
Grammar: 10/10
I think there might have been one mistake total.
Characterization: 7/10
Some of Rarity and Sweetie's actions seem out of place.
Use of show canon: 9/10
Show canon is worked in to the story pretty well.
Plot consistency: 9.5/10
The two descriptions say conflicting things on the nature of Levi's disease, but that's it.
Use of OCs: 5/10
We need to get to know Levi and how much the other characters care about him before you try to make the readers feel an emotion. It's a pretty common problem.
Coherence: 8/10
Since we don't really know anything about Levi, it makes things confusing at times.
Genre: 5/10
The story doesn't have nearly as much emotion as something with those tags should.
Total: 53.5/70
It was very close to failing.

3643480
Surely that's a tad harsh.

3643482 Yeah, it is, but I'm sticking with it.

3643483
I just got put down, old skool.

3643483 I agree however. In a Sad or Tragic story you have to be able to connect to the protagonist or the whole thing falls apart and you just sit bored and roll your eyes at the crap they are laying before you. Good to see another fic make it, even if only just.

3643480 Whoa, didn't see this in my group notifications. Wonder why that is?

Well, I'm glad I got entry into this fine group. Thank you for that!

I'll take what you said in this review into full consideration. Thanks for pointing out the issues!

-Soaring.