I know a lot of you don't actually have fangs, but merely fang sympathizers. Some of you may not even be able to drink real blood without getting sick (poor you!). But now you too can quench your thirst for blood with sythnethic blood energy drink!

These pouches contain and iron-enriched fruit juice with the same consistency of blood, allowing even the most herbiverous of you to savor the fruity taste of blood!

And now for the more adventurous there's Zombie Blood!

At $60 a pouch the most terrifying thing is the price.

3349773 That looks tasty, where can I can I get some?

3349773
I think I can get actual blood for cheaper.

Luckily, I'm not a filthy herbivore.

3351123

Just google "candy blood bag" and there's a bunch for sale online. Sadly I've never seen any in stores. Not even in the Spirit Halloween we got around here.

3351870

Normal blood bags are only $5 each, it's the zombie blood bags that are expensive. I dunno who those people think they are charging that much. Maybe it's made from real zombie.

Luckily, I'm not a filthy herbivore.

That's good. For a second I was a little worried about you. "Poor Luminary," I thought, "Never to taste blood, damned to forever frolic through the flowers of sun-filled meadows."

3352090
That's much better, then!

Maybe I shall have to get some for dessert.

As for the meadows, I wouldn't wish that terrible fate on anyone.

Also, fields of dry grass and me don't mix. It's always weeks of news people talking about brush fires and thousands of people losing their homes and blah blah blah. It's just too much to bother with.

3352111

The sun and me don't get along very well. Every once in a while I'm like "I'll go outside even though it's the middle of the day!" only to have the sun be like "HAHA! Imma burn you now!" and then my existence becomes pain.

The only time I go out during the day now is when the sun is behind the clouds where it belongs.

It's always weeks of news people talking about brush fires and thousands of people losing their homes and blah blah blah. It's just too much to bother with.

If something more adorable needs to burn down their houses then they'll just have to deal with it. It's survival of the cutest I say.

Oh, and they make this stuff too:

It looks like a normal piece of hard candy, but when you start sucking it, it fills your mouth with a blood-like liquid. You're supposed to give it to other people to troll them.

3352155
While I appreciate the sun for the fact that it's a giant ball of fiery fire, I really have to deduct points for how badly it discriminates against certain people.

Vampires, the fair skinned, people with sun allergies, underground morlocks, those poor skeletons and zombies in Minecraft, all unfairly subjugated by the sun's nuclear tyranny.

3352191

Thanks. That's one of the reasons I prefer "gloomy" days. Most people are like "Staring into the sun is the most fun you can have for free!" "110 degrees in the shade 95% humidity and no clouds or wind is the perfect day!" "What do you need SPF 500 for? I just use homeopathic tanning oil!". They don't understand my pain, and even if they did they wouldn't care.

But you? You're the nicest day-walker I've ever met.

3352225
I think a lot of people at IFAS would be sympathetic to your plight. What with Celestia also unfairly oppressing the vampire pony and batpony demographics.

I just personally know your pain.

3352261

You know I rarely see fanfis where Celestia is racist against bat ponies. The few exceptions tend to paint her as a total psychopath. I remember one where a single bat pony showed up in Ponyville and the entire town (including the mane 6) immediately start attacking it shouting "burn the demon!" But like I said, those types are actually kinda rare.

I just personally know your pain.

Do you avoid going outside on hot, sunny days too?

3352329

I remember one where a single bat pony showed up in Ponyville and the entire town (including the mane 6) immediately start attacking it shouting "burn the demon!"

Yes. Ponies are fierce. They ne'er hide in their houses and turn the village into a ghost town over new and strange visitors, ever.

And yes. Hot days are lame. Canada isn't cold enough. I'm thinking of moving to Greenland.

3349773 No thanks, eh. As a Human I like to have fresh, real blood not the synthetic crap, eh.

3354048

And yes. Hot days are lame. Canada isn't cold enough. I'm thinking of moving to Greenland.

I'll never understand how those normal people can call those horrible summer days "nice". I guess they're just not as cool as you and me. If only there was a place where it was always dark and stormy. Rochester had nice summers IMHO, I kinda miss that.

TBH when I read Dante's inferno I saw the first layer of hell and was like "why can't I live in this place?" Seriously, the first layer of hell is better than the highest level of heaven. In the highest level of heaven you sit on a holographic rose and stair at God's blinding light forever . I'd much rather take the moonlight garden, thanks.

3354102

Are you sure you're a human? You look a little too big.

If you are a human then why don't you drink some of this parasite filled blood? Your human digestive system can destroy any parasite, righ?

3354284 Yes, despite my godly size I am a human, eh.

Sure, I'll drink your parasitic filled blood, eh. .... ( )

3354296

*Takes out a gallon milk container filled with blood*

Okay drink up! (hehehe)

3354327 Oh, just a gallon? I was expecting more to drink than that, eh.

*quickly drinks the blood in one swig* ... ( )

3354331

Oh, don't worry. Those parasites reproduce very rapidly.

3354335 Ah, I'll survive, eh. Seeing how I'm a human, eh. ( )