Good Princess Celestia is 4,064 words long and tagged [Drama] [Slice of Life] [Princess Celestia] [Princess Luna]

On the Feast of Hearth's Warming Eve, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna risk their lives in a blinding snowstorm to bring essentials to a pair of poor ponies living in Canterlot.

I
This story has decent grammar.

Unfortunately, that already covers all positive things I have to say.

II
The plot is exactly what is described in the summary.

The author and I clearly have differing views on the princesses' powerlevels. While the show has explicitly shown them to to have certain limitations, I don't think anything suggests that something as mundane as a snowstorm should be a problem for the rulers of the world. Even in The Crystal Empire, which this story makes reference to, they have shown to be proportionately powerful.

The second glaring issue is the idea that this snowstorm just "hit" Canterlot, which is how the story is framing it.

Weather, in Equestria, is regulated by ponies. Ponies control weather. Storms don't hit Canterlot, they are being engineered and scheduled and everypony should know they're coming. It's almost baffling that the story makes a direct reference to Winter Wrap Up while still violating the principle of that episode, and key element of universally accepted world building.

III
If I were to accept that Celestia can't just heat the entire place up to comfy temperatures without any trouble, and that this snowstorm is a real problem and a life-threatening obstacle, then I unfortunately have to conclude that Celestia is being a moron by risking her life for a random subject, a decision with no doubt highly negative expected value for the greater good. Acquiring a consideration of scope and placing that above emotional empathy is one of the most important qualities of any ruler. Worse, I must question why Celestia isn't dead already if she is both weak and reckless as portrayed here.

( I'm not saying that to be cynical. Someone with this character and powerlevel is very unlikely to reach a thousand years of age. )

Furthermore, Luna is completely useless in this story – a liability, even. She insists on accompanying Celestia, which is similarly stupid, and almost gets both of them killed as a result.

That brings me to the only two other characters who make an appearance (aside from a few nameless guards), which is two random family members, father and daughter. They aren't really characters as much as stand-ins for stereotypical roles, but amazingly, the father manages to make me hate him anyway.

"Papa, there some ponies outside," she remarked to the father who got out of his chair and went out to the window. "Look!"
"My dear Sixpence," he chuckled. "You must be seeing things. There's nothing out there but snow. Come and sit with me by the father."
"But, I can see them, papa," cried Sixpence. "We have to help them!"
"Sixpence, that's enough of your imagination for one night," remarked the father. "Now, come over and…"

While being likable as a person is certainly not the same as being a good character, I fail to see the point of doing this to one quarter of your cast, who is in no way treated as a villain.

The daughter alone could be described as likable, but only because she is an exact fit for "good-willed daughter of a poor family" which happens to be a likable stereotype. There is zero personality beyond this, and sadly the same is also true for Celestia and Luna. What I said about the two subjects is true for the entire cast: this story has four stereotypes for four characters.

Another thing is worth pointing out:

She felt sorry for them and it didn't matter if they were poor, they needed support.

And two paragraphs later:

Yes, they were poor, but they were still her subjects after all.

Repeatedly empathizing "yes they are poor, but..." makes it sound like one is still battling with stereotypes. Given that this is internal monologue of a goddess, it makes it as clear of a mis-characterization as you can have.

IV

"You must keep trying, my daughter,"

"That doesn't matter, my daughter,"

"Almost there, my young filly,"

"The storm is getting more and more powerful, my sister,"

"Oh, sorry my little sister,"

"I must go to them, my sister,"

"Keep moving, my sister!"

"We cannot rest, my sister,"

I'm sorry if this comes across as mean, but that was my emotional reaction. "My XX" is generally super awkward. There are exceptions – when you talk to someone of lower status in a friendly way, then it becomes acceptable, like Celestia saying "my subject" as she does in this story, or "my little ponies" as she does in the show. That gets a pass. But when you talk to an equal, and in a casual context no less, it's drives me nuts. Please don't do this.

Heeding her sister's advice, Luna refocused on the task at hand.

There is no cow level are no hands on ponies, and they shouldn't be part of the language, either... even if the show violates this rule.

"Page, bring me flesh and bring me wine,"

Ponies are vegetarians.

Seriously. Someone told you this in the comments. Come on!

Princess Celestia laid with her nearly frozen and unconscious sister in front of the fireplace with Sixpence and her father set about bringing in the large amounts of essentials that the royal sisters had brought to them. Despite the cold weakening her body greatly, Celestia was still feeling grateful that she had at least came to help these two ponies.

*lay
*come

Though, these are actually the only grammar mistakes I found – like I said, this is the story's strongest aspect.

V
The writing style – meaning sentence construction and subsequent flow – is fairly clunky and counteracts potential immersion by repeatedly reminding the reader that she is in fact reading something.

VI
Do not read this.

07/100

5774368 I think the only counter I could raise for a snowstorm in Equestria being a serious issue is... well, kind of bare anyway.
Those ice-pony things that feed on hate, whatever they're called? Those ones. From my understanding you can't get rid of those so easily.
(If I actually wrote again, I'd totally use them in main plot arcs btw, I think that a big war making everyone super cold is awesome)

Maybe the author implied it without implying it in the story? :P

This story is a reference to a carol called "Good King Wencelas", OP.

Did you know that? Because it sounds like you didn't.

5775834
Yeah, didn't know. I read that it was "inspired" by a carol but didn't think it would be directly mirroring what happens... which I take it does?

5775359
Wouldn't make sense even if it was implied, because no-one is shown to live in disharmony.