It's time for a review!

My rating scheme:

Needs work: Similar to this group's rating. This is for a story that has many problems, and could use a re-write or lots of editing.

Almost there: This is for stories that have lots of potential. Just address a few issues and your story will shine.

Solid: I couldn't find any major problems. Nice job. Equivalent to this group's recommended folder.

Excellent: Great writing! This is for stories that genuinely surprised me, that are fresh and original, or an example of amazing writing. Equivalent to this group's must read folder.

Amazing: Stories I give this rating to will have my vote for masterpiece. Stories I put in this category will be what I believe to be the absolute best.

The Play's The Thing

By: HMXTaylorLee

Tags: Romance; Slice of Life

Sweetie Belle is having a hard time coming to terms with telling her best friend and fellow Crusader Scootaloo that she likes her... as more than a friend, that is.

Following her directorial debut, Cheerilee sees fit to give Sweetie Belle the reigns in directing the next school play - which just happens to be "Harmony's Flowers", a romantic tale about the relationship between star-crossed lovers, a unicorn and a pegasus during the tumultuous period surrounding the passing of a law allowing marriages between the recently unified races of ponies.

With her feelings growing stronger, Sweetie Belle aims to use the play as a vehicle for telling Scootaloo her true feelings - what could possibly go wrong?

Oh yeah, Scootabelle! My favorite!

Spoilers.

So the story is your typical love story: she loves another filly; that filly loves her back, but they are both too nervous to tell each other their true feelings. And while that ship script might be a bit tired, this story has a few surprises.

The ship scrip is something a lot of romance stories follow—it's a sort of formula—and it's also a major pitfall for many stories. I guess it's to show the character as conflicted and unsure of their true feelings, but this story has none of that; it starts out with Sweetie Belle thinking about her feelings for Scootaloo. The story doesn't waste too much time with 'What if she doesn't like me back?' and all of those other cliches.

The mechanics of this story are solid. Tone, pacing and grammar are near flawless. I can't recall coming across any typos or errors, or if there were any, they were small and unnoticeable.

It's easy to notice when they are preforming the play in their characters: the italics are used really well.

The only nitpick I have is the constant use of the hyphen when it clearly should be an em dash.

"Father, you can't be serious! I'm your daughter-"

But that's it.

What really makes this story work is the play. This is one of those stories that has another story in it.

It's the end of the school year, and Miss Cheerilee gives the class the option to write a ridiculously huge essay over the summer or preform the play. So naturally the play becomes an easy choice. Which gives them two weeks to preform the play.

I'm not going to lie, two weeks seems like not enough time to put on a performance like the one they are talking about here... but anyway...

Sweetie Belle volunteers to direct the play, seeing as it's a love story between a unicorn and a pegasus, with some half though-through plan involving Scootaloo. Then there's some hilarity in the casting call. Diamond Tiara thinks she should be the star, well, because it's Diamond Tiara. But after Scootaloo volunteers for the male lead, Diamond isn't so excited about playing the female lead, and no pony else wants to play the love interest, so Sweetie Belle takes the role. Or is sort of shoehorned into it...

This is where a lot of things come together: Sweetie Belle gets to play the love interest of her actual crush. The actual story blends with the message of the play.

While Sweetie Belle deals with her feelings for scootaloo, and now her nerves for having to kiss her on stage in front of an audience, she also deals with the 'Is it okay for a filly to like another filly?" question. Well, sort of. The story doesn't really waste too much time with that. More time is spend on Sweetie trying to direct the play, but those feelings are constantly there throughout the story. She has to keep herself in check so it isn't too obvious how excited she is to be playing opposite Scootaloo.

The play itself, which most of it is included in the story, is a Romeo and Juliet type of story. It centers around two characters of different races being in love. Essentially it deals with racial equality, and how true love is blind.

But what I really love is the layering this author put into the story. The two stories are put together well, and both ideas support the maine theme. But there's a third layer, full of little easter eggs to add just a little more depth to the story. The play, Harmon'y Flower was written by Mrs. Loving in reference to Loving vs Virginia; the landmark case of 1967 which allowed interracial marriage. Many of the character names come from the court case or other locations. There are too many hidden treasures to list in this review so I'll leave a link to the author's blog about it.

My favorite scene though is probably where Sweetie finally tells Scootaloo her true feeling in the most over-the-top yet really romantic and sickening sweet way possible. It reminds me of that scene in Walk the Line where Johhny Cash asks June Carter to marry him on stage in a live performance.

"...It doesn't mean that you can't lift me up. I don't know when it happened, but I just started thinking about you more and more, and I tried so hard to tell myself that everything was the same, and that you were still just my best friend, but... but it wasn't. I finally realized that... that..."

Sweetie Belle blinked, and could feel a tear slide down her face.

"...That I love you."

This is going on in the middle of the final act of the play. It's worth mentioning the italics stop here to show how Sweetie is going off script to address Scootaloo directly.

And after some heart-felt conversation, they kiss. So! Feakin! Cute! (Sorry, inner Scootabelle fanboy finally escaped.)

The characterization in this story is excellent. All of the characters, especially Sweetie and Scoots, are recognizable and identifiable. They all play off each other really well, especially Diamond Tiara. Scoots and Sweetie may have been the stars of the story, and the play, but Diamond Tiara gets a few laughs.

"Now, It says here that Gardenia is the owner of the flower shop. She's an earth pony, Harmony's mother, and is not fond of ponies being affectionate outside of their race. Cold, callous, and stubborn, and also a major character... Any takers?" Sweetie Belle asked the collective.

"Diamond Tiara!" Cried several ponies at once. "This role is perfect for her!"

"What are you talking about?" Diamond Tiara shouted incredulously. "I'm not any of those things!"

"Of course not," Scootaloo agreed with a nearly undetectable trace of sarcasm. "But are you a good enough actress to pull it off?"

"Are you joking? Step aside!" Diamond Tiara pushed backwards to allow herself room to make her way to the center. "Hurry up, let's get on with it." Taking it upon herself, she clapped her hooves together to continue the show.

So typical Diamond. It's strange to say, but in her short time in the story, she has a lot of presence and personality. So much so that she gets her own side story Playing Second Fiddle which is pretty funny. She is easily the third best best character in the story, and I'd argue she's better written than Apple Bloom and others. Not that Apple Bloom isn't written well, she just doesn't have a very impactful part in this story.

I suppose Sweetie and Scoots could've used a little more time to develop into a couple, but that's a stretch; I'm grasping at straws—it's hard to find problems with this story. There is a flashback scene, and few a other scenes that make them seem like they would be good together.

And they are.

This story is amazing. The stories and layers all come together to give a really sweet and touching story. It's funny, sappy, deep, and unbelievably cute. The ending is a little unusual, but I really like how it comes full circle. I'd recommend this story to anyone, and it's one of my personal favorites.

Final Verdict: Amazing!

The Pleasant Commentators and Review Group rating: Must Read with my vote for Masterpiece.

Oh my gosh, thank you!

I'm really glad you liked the story so much. It's definitely my favorite one that I put together, as far as pacing and themes/morals go. I am also pleasantly surprised at the mention of Diamond Tiara - she's one of my favorite characters to write for, because her personality allows for so much more than the show writers stick her with.

Once again, thanks for putting so much effort into this review! It means so much!

5016435
Bringing your recommendation to the other admins.