It's me. Yep, I've been busy just like every one who helps out with this group. However, I have decided to read a quick story and review it. I'm here to stay, this group is here to stay! So lets get on with the review!

View

By: ThunderChaserCreate
Wow, long name!

Description:

A creature watches the daily goings on of Ponyville from a small hole far above.

Public Rating: Everyone: Dark

OK, here we go!

So first off, this story is not too "Dark" in a sense that it's violent or rough in context. That, is a good and great thing. Because of that though, there are few who would not like it. This story is Cryptic in a light sense, and the cryptic portions lack some clues and goes by very quick. That allows some readers to get lost very fast.

However, that is the point. It's not easy to solve, it's not easy to understand. That uncomfortable feeling of confusion you get when reading this story. That small bit of rage that builds up in your little chest... yep, this story can do that if you try to dissect it. Every little fault you find is meant to be there... so I say to every one. Deal with it! It's a story, it's a fun read... move to Past Sin's or some other story if you want quality story time. This is meant to tease your common sense. I like it.

Now, some things that I wish were in this story was the issue it being quick. Needs more guts, needs more clues. This story could easily go to over 2,000 words, and that few extra hundred would help allot. Most of this story has Beige Prose. Lacks information, and true... that falls in the belief of letting the reader create the rest of reason... however... how can a reader climb a ladder if there is now ladder? They can't

When I read this story I felt a lonely feeling of being confused and sad. Not tier jerking sad, just oppressed into a single thought.

Grammar was OK, I'd say it could be better. Only a Grammar Nazi and a English major would have issues with the grammar.

The Execution was fast pace and the reader could get lost.

There was no solid characterization, so I can skip that.

All in all, I give this story a

Thank you so much! This was nice to hear! I'm glad you enjoyed it for what it was, and that you understood why it was like that and where I really wanted to take it. Very refreshing to have someone actually understand why on that one.

3438557
No problem mate.