Okay, so our Lord and Savior flutterdash1 has given his blessing, therefore I am now proposing this little "experiment" to the rest of the staff (not to mention all of you who are brave/bored enough to venture into this forsaken pit of the internet):

All of the pour souls who are currently waiting for us to heap abuse on them will now be given a chance to "cut ahead in line." All they need to do is either write a review of one of our reviews, or write a review of on of the reviewers working here (in the same Yahtzee-esque style, of course), and the best one/three/however many we are willing to take on gets their review from us ahead of the "schedule."

If the majority of you approve, then we'll work out the finer details, but on a basic level, what do you guys think?

EDIT: since people haven't been very enthusiastic about this, then I'd say it's no longer a contest. If any of you write a review of our reviewers (or reviews) and we find it decent enough, we'll do a story of your choosing ahead of the backlog. Deal?

Give me a story

2811370
You're not reviewing a story, silly ;p There's a test/sign up process for that =3 You're gonna review one of the reviews we've already written, OR review one of us.

*hides flaming sword of retribution*

2814655

2815327

Whatever you prefer...

2815394

Keep in mind, though, that these will be judged, so it isn't just a simple trade...

Don't know if you replied before I edited, so I'll say it here...

Whatever happened to this? It was such a good idea!

3230855

No one ever wrote us anything...

WE ARE ALL ALONE AND UNLOVED!

3308815
...The horror, the horror...

3310560

Time to resurrect this idea...

3579493 CLEAR!

Challenge accepted! xD

I'll do it for shits and giggles :D

3610169
3615491

Please use the reply function so that I know this thing is still alive and kicking...

3610169
3615491
BE MEAN TO ME!

3617517
Duly noted
3619240
Alright, we'll see what I can do~ :D

2811281
I have no idea what counts as a review. This good?

3620668

Close... really close, but no cigar. The idea is to do a review of one -- or more -- of our reviews and the reviewers themselves in a style similar to the one we employ here (I suggest watching a few episodes of ZP to get a good grasp on it). To offer a different analogy: the "story" to review are the reviews of the "author", i.e one of our reviewers, and the goal is to dissect how we approach the stories presented to us.

Didn't like how I said a certain plot point was crap? Angered by the thought that a certain "romance" fic made me want to throw up? Now is your chance to take a shot at me...

Don't focus as much on line-by-line analysis though. You may have noticed that we rarely employ direct quotes ourselves unless we're trying to point out a very specific error that deserves mention (repetitive use of a certain element, etc.) The goal, however, is to paint a picture of your general impression of what you're reviewing, not to mention make it sound funny.

It also helps if you take a peek at the cheap shots twitterdick and I throw at each other from time to time...

3619909

What I said above.

This thread continues to live?

3621510 ohhhhhhhhhhh.....xD

3621543

3621657

3619240

I did a review of your review. When I finish re-tooling Herald of Dawn, I intend to submit it for re-review.

3638061
Then I shall re-review it!

3646425

Once the mods clear it, Herald of Dawn is yours to re-review. Also, don't delete your previous review. I enjoyed it.

Huh

3716282

>tries to resurrect thread
>forgets to use the "reply" feature

3723970

-nudge nudge nudge-

3739293

3739375

Are you saying OP won't? I have faith in OP-senpai!

3740375
Your re-write hath been re-read, and the reviewing shall forth commence in the soon time, so, y'know, expect something by the end of the week (which means, like, mid-next week because deadlines don't bind me worth shit.)

See you in the future.

3742800

-stares at screen for the next week or so-

Hello. My name is Professional Xander. I have read a matthew depointe story titled, "All the Fun The Law Allows", that i would like to recommend to anyone who is interested. It isn't as famous as it should be and I hope we can correct this unfair treatment. I am a huge lover of noir and I think most people are too.

www.fimfiction.net/story/221046/all-the-fun-the-law-allows

3856473

1) If you want us to review their story, ask them to submit it to the group, or ask for permission to submit it yourself.

2) This is not a (self-)promotion group. Please do not advertise your own or other people's fics here unless your intention is what I stated above.

3) Please use the reply function, otherwise we won't notice you've tried to contact us.

3856505

Yes, this opportunity is still open. You may participate any time you want to.

3856969

Oh, stop it, you! I feel so humbled now...

Yes, if you ask me, this definitely makes the grade and not just because it worships me like it should. But just to be safe, let's ask what 3742800 thinks...

Also: which story of yours would you like reviewed ahead of the queue?

3856995

I didn't check your page. I made an oopsie. I am so sowwy...

Also I thought you were one of those tossers that submits 1 story per nanosecond to the group...

I'll check it out as soon as ol' twitty-titty gives his seal of "I don't care"

3856969
Am I 'cock'?

3857901

3856999
I don't care.