Straight Shipping 2,895 members · 6,632 stories
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I am think of having a story where the main character is under the effects of a love poison. The story is then told from their point of view, so my question is, how should I go about doing this, in a way that continues to tell the story in a sensible manner.

It should be noted that the story is written in past tense.

Any suggestions will be appreciated and of course, keep it clean.

Here is some additional information:

Well, my thought is that the story is from the point of view of a stallion who is hanging out with a mare that he has feelings for but hasn't expressed. There is an alchemy experiment that goes wrong, resulting in the stallion inhaling the fumes of what ends up being a love poison. While the pony responsible is searching for the ingredients to create an antidote, the affected stallion and the mare go around town on a "date."

Later after the poison is cured, it is revealed that this particular poison doesn't force love but instead enhances the feelings already present and merely removes the victims inhibitions (in regards to expressing their emotions).

Admittedly it will have a bit of an awkward almost sad ending, with the mare saying that she doesn't necessarily feel the same way for him (whither she is telling the truth or not, well... That's what sequels are for).:raritywink:

I'm not sure, if that helps or not. I just wanted to ask for advice on how to convey the effects of the love poison during the story.

The love poison in the show seemed to make looking into each others' eyes like an addiction. I'd imagine not doing that would result in withdrawal symptoms. In the show, thinking about the other pony seemed to help.

So from the perspective of the stallion, the primary change is motivation, not necessarily perspective. His goals in life, that day, in each moment, revolve around the mare and getting to spend time with her, gazing into her eyes. He doesn't need to be an unreliable narrator beyond the fact that, to him, this motivation is perfectly rational and that he is compelled to think about her whenever the two are apart. I imagine he can rationalize this to himself based on his prior feelings.

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