I'm new here, so I'm only average at writing stories. I would like someone to criticize my story, Rich and Chris's Portal Coincidence. I'd just like to know if you like the story or don't like it, what you think of it, and how I can improve on it. If it sucks, don't just batter my story into the ground; I want a real opinion, not trash talk.

Definitely dislike what I see so far.
You start off with two "talking heads", boring "talking heads" chit-chatting in their own jargon about stuff that is unlikely to be interesting to the reader. You give them a detailed (but very generic) outside descriptions but absolutely zero interesting character features.
Then you give us the actual location where the talking heads exist: " The debate went on for several hours as they walked the streets of New York." Yeah, that's sure to get the reader immersed in the place. Then there's one alley (taking a whooping one adjective of description: "dark"). They stand for 10 minutes (wait 10 minutes with a watch in hand!) waiting for something one saw with the corner of his eye. Then they fall into a pothole. Or some other hole, this one didn't receive even one adjective of mercy.
Then they begin recording with an iPhone. Not even a camcorder.
Cut to the next scene, and talking heads hanging in void again. We meet that missing Matt we've been told about, but there's still no background for 5 pages, being told we're in Equestria but no environmental indication of that whatsoever. Except "On their way there, they spotted a gray mare carrying a mail bag." - so far this sentence is as much of Equestria you've shown us.
Then you push us for a while through generic "Welcome to Ponyville" skimping on descriptions, and finally get bored of writing this and wrap up with this:

It was his friend Julian. He wore a blue shirt, some blue jeans, and had light-brown hair that was spiked up to make him look cool. "Cool, I found you guys. Get Richie and Chris, we're getting out of here."

"Wait a minute," Matt responded. "How did you get here? And why do we--"

"Just get them and hurry!"

Without hesitation, he called out for his friends. "RICH!!! CHRIS!!! COME HERE!!!"

Surprisingly, they came to the door. "What's up, Matt?" Chris asked.

"I'm taking you guys home!" Julian said with enthusiasm.

"Wait a minute, how are you here? The portal limit is three humans," Rich explained.

"Plot convenience," Julian said half-jokingly. "We need to go back to where we started. That's the only way we'll get back home."

When they got there, Julian snapped his finger, and they were instantly teleported back to the dark alley they had entered. "Let's get the hell out of here before that portal swallows us again." And so, all four of them ran out of the dark and depressing alley.

Yeah, sure if you put so much effort into designing your plot your story is sure not to suck...

Let me add:
you took some characters which you got so occupied with they take all the time talking to each other. I mean, the ponies get whooping 4 talking lines. There's no plot to speak of. Get to Equestria, get out when author is bored. And even then Equestria is an insignificant background to characters who are so self-absorbed they simply leave no room for plot or environments - and who are plain boring too!

2345224 Thank you for putting it plainly. My story sucks, you don't like it, and it's something I should definitely improve on. I can't just be lazy, then change completely to Matt writing the story, sitting in his room, then going back to his normal life. Thanks a bunch :D "plot convenience..."

Primarily, your story can be plot-driven or character-driven. Yours has no plot to speak of, and definitely focuses on the characters - but then, the characters have nearly no depth, nothing to explore. There is no conflict, no goal, everything is plot convenience. First, character-driven stories are difficult. Think of a decent plot. They went, they partied, they went back, is not a plot. Next, balance focus between characters, backgrounds and action (in roughly equal proportions). In your case all of the focus is on the characters. No plot, no background, just a shade of background characters, the dialogue between primary characters occupies 99% of the time.

Get these two elements right and you'll be on the right track. You do have a rather decent grasp of the language, and reasonably good technique of writing, and if you only let your imagination think of some genuine adventures with genuine conflict, plot and secrets, plan out your story and then remember about the balance, you'll be off to writing quite decent stories. PLOT and BALANCE.

2346520 now that's criticism. :)

I just updated my story, so it will probably set up a sequel or something. Updates are awesome.

Hope u like the new version. Still need a critique.