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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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It's nice to see you taking some inspiration from fallout 4 for the power armor. I'm curious to find out who this mysterious red eyed pony is... anyway I had a suggestion that might help your work read better. Try to use words such as "we're", "they're", and "weren't". These can help your words to be read more fluently and make it less distracting for readers since they won't be switching "we are" for "we're" in their heads whilst reading your story. Another thing you might want to watch out for is tense shifting. You shouldn't switch between present and past tense in the middle of a sentence as it can ruin the immersion your story can create. Besides that your story is very enticing and I cannot wait to read more!
P.S. This was meant to be constructive criticism and was not meant to make you feel bad about your writing.
6793923 Yea, one of my worst habits is tense switching. XD
I saw the reference to the long winter and merchants of hope