It becomes apparent to me that the twin sisters ruling our nation cannot do so forever. The world changes, we change, technology moves ahead. One day they will have to accept this, or else it will be for the detriment of our society as a whole. Immortality can be a curse not only to yourself, but the potential for stagnation by a populace that has all their problems solved for them is huge. The extreme opposite, of course, is no better. Without the two we would surely still be under the thrall of Discord or any number of other monstrosities this world has conjured for us to endure. No, what we need is somepony that has come from the bottom, to rise to the top. This person, let's assume for thematical reasons their name is "Twilight", as the bridge between the Sun and the Moon, should allow for democracy to slowly take hold, as the two sisters themselves retire. Thus the population can take the reigns for themselves without being forced into it, which would have dire consequences for us all. In conclusion, I suggest openly to the two sisters ruling us all, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, to find a protege- lest we succumb to a stagnant reliance on them to solve our problems. For, what will become of us if we find a problem that they cannot solve?
Star Swirl the Bearded, 365 After Harmony.
Twilight Sparkle paced in the library, deeply concerned about recent events. Not the war, no that had been going on for so long that it had become almost normal. No it was something else, and that something lay on the floor amongst dozens of books and designs.
For the past few weeks she had kept up a correspondence with one of the Night Guard researchers in the mountain, whom was greatly interested in her idea of "RADAR". She got the idea back in Baltimare- noticing how the storms thunder echoed back from distant mountains after it passed you. If you could use a radio beam to do something similar, it was theoretically possibly to detect distant objects. Possibly, with enough time and practice, even their size and height. Hopefully, hopefully, this would finally be her true contribution to the war effort.
Four months a Princess, and already at war.
She sighed, and stopped trotting. Noticing that she had actually managed to create a dark mark on the floor, she giggled, maybe it would be good to get out for a while. Ponyville was nice, but with most of her friends out around the nation doing their part, there wasn't much holding her here. Mayor Mare had taken her role... rather seriously as of late as well. Every few days she held an emergency drill, and checked the sirens. Twilight knew that the likelihood of another griffon attack on the continent was slim, but preparedness was still key.
The school had been closed, Cheerliee was a drill sergeant to the south of town in charge of getting the conscripts up to scratch, and Applejack was constantly working at the farm, harder than ever. The demands of Luna were huge, but Applejack was up to the task. So was the town itself, with a stallion named Trotsky establishing a factory to churn out dozens of motorized vehicles. The smog it belched out was matched only by the foundries of the Crystal Empire, but these were the sacrifices they needed to endure. The Wonderbolts were bogged down in ocean warfare, the Marines slogged through one island at a time eastward, and the Legion dug in the south fending off repeated assaults from the "Confederacy of Independent States". The rest of the world was quickly joining them in chaos, with the Saddle Arabians escalating tension with the Zebra Empire over a port, which they claimed was theirs by historical right.
Twilight had learned quite a bit about international politics over the last month, and it both terrified and fascinated her. The never ending game of power, fought by leaders with delusions of grandeur that sent armies to their end like they were no more then pawns for their own vain glory. It was stupid, it was evil, and it was reality. If had the power she would put all the leaders in a room and refuse to let them leave until they agreed on peace. This wasn't the first time Equestria had been at war, but this proved to to be the largest, and the worst. If only there was a way to stop it instantly.
She made up her mind, and set off up the stairs to pack her bag. A note was in her hoof:
Spike, I have to go on urgent business. Don't worry about me, I'll be alright. Keep the library clean, and I'll be back in a few days.
Don't worry.
A short while later, with a saddlebag stuffed with a few days change of clothing- as requested, and clad in her proper Princess attire, she strode out of the library and, glancing around to make sure nopony noticed her, quickly stuck the note to the door and shimmered with a magenta light.
Teleportation was hard, but she was the element of magic after all.
______
"No, I don't get it. It's alicornium- you hit it with magic to activate it, and it gives out magic. If I knew how it did that I would be rolling on a pile of awards," Dr. Flankenstein said, at his wits end trying to explain to this 'Archer' that he wasn't holding some secret from him.
He had barely been at this two weeks, in a facility deep underneath Manehatten. The Night Guard had offered him a huge salary for his work, and he knew it was worthwhile, but management was starting to get overbearing.
"So that's two weeks, and nothing? You realize we're at war here right?" The bat pony said, leaning up on his desk with an angry look on his face.
Black coat, red eyes, Flankenstein had started to wonder if they had evolved to be terrifying. This one choose to always wear his armour, night and day, to add to the effect.
"Yes, Archer, I realize that. Science doesn't work on a schedule," Flankenstein argued.
"Well you do, so get out of my office and come back with some results," Archer ordered, and gestured at the door behind Flankenstein.
Suppressing a sigh Flankenstein turned and quickly left, slamming the door behind him. Out in the corridor it was apparent how new this facility was, it was so clean you could eat off the floor. White lights kept it in a perpetual light, and the halls went on for hundreds of meters in any direction. Magic worked wonders when nobody was paying attention to you, and the Night Guard had built this place in a matter of weeks after Black Friday. Flankenstein had helped, in part because of the pay, and in part because he believed as they did.
The griffons need to be stopped, permanently. Anything less then total retaliation will invite others to try as they did- harder. If they succeeded in their work here, Equestria's first war would be it's last.
Trotting down the hallway, clad in his lab coat, he nodded at the passing scientists. There was around a hundred of them down here, working on assorted things for the Night Guard. There was a division for rockets- specifically improving that Griffon design they had reverse-engineered. That was their first major victory, and the breakthrough had taken place while they still worked out of the Canterlot mountain.
The trick was a small magically tuned device at the head of the griffon rocket. They had thought it was heat seeking- but it wasn't.
It was magic seeking.
Once they understood how it worked, it was easy enough to make a replication that actually did seek heat. Their horror on realizing the griffons had literally made a pony seeking missile had steeled all of them there to their task.
We are going to wipe them out, all of them.
Flankenstein was head of the Alicornium division, and his task was simple: crack it. If they could get Alicornium to release it's energy in a burst, instead of a slow stream, they could turn the Griffon Home Islands into glass.
Nobody would dare threaten them again.
__________
Princess Twilight Sparkle, I hope this letter finds you well. We have started work on your 'RADAR' design, and expect to have a prototype for your inspection by the end of the week. I would like to request that you come here personally to help construct it, and inspect the final product before we start low-yield production. The Wonderbolt Air Martial is quite excited at the prospect of being able to see the enemy over the horizon, and has been pressuring us to advance our timetable.
I also request that, assuming you have the time to come here, that you bring suitable dress to stay for a few days. I expect you will find out work fascinating and want to stay for a while. I can't explain on unsecured mail, but I think you will be quite excited to find out what we've been doing down here.
If you do come, don't tell anybody. It's a matter of national security that our work down here remains secret. Come to Manhatten. You can find a contact at the intersection of Capital and Majestic street, apartment 304. Ask for my comrade: Cast Iron. I hope you can find the time to come visit us, the staff would be greatly boosted by your appearance, and surely your legendary intelligence can help crack a few eggs.
May the Queen's reign last a thousand years.
-Archer, Night Guard Intelligence.
Twilight pocketed the letter, and knocked on the door with a golden shoe clad hoof. Apartment 304. Teleporting had saved her half a day of travel, she wondered if it was odd to appear only an hour after receiving the letter.
Would he think she was strange for being so enthused?
Wait, hold on. I'm a Princess, if he thinks I'm strange he can blow it ou...
"Who is it?" A voice asked from within. Sounded like an older stallion, probably around fourty.
Twilight cleared her throat, collected herself, and announced herself in the most regal way she felt she could.
"Princess Twilight Sparkle, I'm here to see a 'Cast Iron'." She said, her chin high as she entered 'princess mode'.
A flurry of activity could be heard inside, followed by the crash of.... something. A short silence followed, and a rather unkempt looking bat pony opened the door.
"Uh.. good afternoon your Highness," He said, giving a rather wobbly bow. "Come in, don't mind the mess," He said, and trotted back leaving the door open.
Twilight Followed, glancing around at the apartment. It was littered with what she assumed was take-out food containers, and dozens of documents. Across from her was a window, with a telescope pointing out through it- pointed downwards.
"Doing some... birdwatching?" Twilight asked.
"Just uh.. keeping watch on the city," Cast Iron said, rummaging through the mess for something.
Twilight gently kicked the door closed, and floated over one of them many documents around while her host did... whatever it was he was doing.
Station Report: Manehatten Six. August 31st (Yesterday)
Nothing new to report today Archer. The populace hasn't seemed to notice the shipments in and out of the tunnels, and anybody that has was rather eager to sign a confession... given some convincing. They won't bother us, and if they do we'll use those to arrest them for 'treason'. The facility is safe, and secret.
Our hold on the phone network remains secure, nothing interesting on the lines within the sixth station corridor, although there have been a few calls going to Canterlot from a small time publisher. I checked up on it, it's just a tabloid bugging Celestia for whatever reason.
In addition, it looks like Mezza Luna was right: the population was incredibly eager to 'help us protect the changelings'. They pointed them out, and we shipped them off to Location X.
May the Queen's Reign last a thousand years.
-Cast Iron, Night Guard Intelligence.
Twilight was rather concerned at the tone and message of the letter, but surely the Night Guard knew what they were doing. She put the document back down with the others, she turned her attention back to her host- whom had found a coat somewhere and was putting it over himself.
"Sorry, I didn't expect you would be here so soon. Some of us didn't think you would come at all; the Night Guard hasn't been that popular with 'the brass' lately," He said, gesturing at the door.
"We've got to go to 56th street, which is just a few blocks from here. From there I'll lead you down into..."
He paused, and a gentle glow came to his eyes.
"The facility" He said, as ominously as possible.
Twilight rolled her eyes. "You're starting to sound like... you're evil or something. Please don't tell me the Night Guard is turning into a cliche, the last one exploded," she said flatly.
Cast Iron shook his head in bewilderment. "I uh... yes your highness," he stammered.
"Good," Twilight said. "Now that that's settled, lead the way."
This time Cast Iron gave a proper bow. "As you wish," he said, and followed her out- grabbing his report as he did.
Out in the hall he marched forward with Twilight behind, holding her head high. Luna had instructed her how to act as a proper Princess, and who better to use this on then her own Night Guard? She certainly seemed to have been right, all you needed was the proper volume and to keep those under you in place. Reward the good, disparage the bad.
She was getting used to being a Princess. She could feel herself changing, but for the better.
___________
"Here? Now?!" Flankenstein exclaimed into the phone, his voice shakey.
"Yes. Prepare the lab, and for Luna's sake make your staff look halfway decent. This is a Princess we're talking about- and from what I gather she hasn't been convinced of our works importance. The last thing she needs is a bunch of eggheads gawking at her," Archer ordered, his voice somehow just as powerful through the phone as in person.
"I'll make sure of it." Flankestein said.
"You better," Archer said, and ended the conversation with a harsh click.
Flankenstein sighed, clicked the phone back on the wall receiver, and turned to look at his lab. His staff, a half dozen egghead mages lured in by promises of academic fame and huge salaries, were gazing up at the central element of the large room. It was a glass cylinder, inside it floated an entire tenth of Equestria's alicornium reserves. Flankensteins original field was medicine, but after learning of the mistakes he had made in that field he decided to start over- with atomic physics. Their calculations were spot on, and they knew exactly how much energy was contained in that kilogram (enough to vaporize most of Equestria), but they just couldn't figure out how to get the damn thing to 'turn on'. The walls of the room were covered with assorted calculations and diagrams, all of which had ultimately meant nothing.
They tried smashing small chunks together at huge speeds using magnets. They just merged back into one chunk.
They tried focusing magic on them, but this did absolutely nothing.
They tried fire, chemical reactions, microwave radiation, nothing had any effect.
They were, to be quite honest, at their wits end. Were it not for the promise in this project, and the lack of other capable scientists with the required vision to see it through, he would probably have been fired long ago.
What they had learned was that Alicornium was not a chemical element, it was something entirely separate from the elements that otherwise made up matter. It had mass, it was matter, but the atoms weren't made of protons, neutrons, or electrons. They had dubbed the atomic structure, which seemed to be a single core mass with a stream of particles orbiting, Celestials and Lunals.
It was a pretty stupid name, but it stuck with the staff so that was that.
"Alright guys, listen up!" Flankenstein shouted, and his staff glanced back from where they were.
"We're going to be receiving an official visit from Princess Twilight Sparkle, go get yourselves cleaned up and for Celestia's sake- try and look presentable. The last thing I need is Twilight complaining that my staff looks like a bunch of grad students," he said.
They glanced at each other, and the bravest one (Erwin, one of the better ones), spoke up.
"Princess Twilight Sparkle, really?" he asked.
"Yes, really." Flankenstein said.
"If I catch any of you gawking you're getting transferred to hazardous materials, got it?" Flankenstein threatened.
A pair of them, which had recently gotten back from just that, swallowed and nodded.
"Good, now go put on some clean coats and wash up, maybe we can get a boost in funding out of this," he ordered.
His staff nodded again, and streamed out of the room. When the door shut he strode up to the cylinder and stared at the grey mass, reflecting an otherworldly visage. That always struck him- no matter where you were it always reflected some sort of eerie starscape, dim blue with white streams of stars. Every once and a while you could even see streams of these, He once saw what he was rather certain was a constellation, but photography of it was impossible, so it remained only known to himself. He swore he had once even seen beings.
"What are you?" Flankenstein wondered aloud.
____________
"And here we are, Location Y, otherwise known as 'The Facility'" Cast Iron said, leading Twilight down the dark tunnel. It had once been a subway line, but Black Friday had led to all the lines being abandoned. Twilight's alicorn shimmered gently to provide light, but her guide didn't even seem to notice the dark. Twilight had read about this once, the magic of a bat pony came through in an ability to see in the dark as if it was day- also giving them their penchant for glowing eyes.
"Hidden in an old rail line, under the most populated city in the country. Aren't you afraid somepony is going to come looking eventually?"
"Good luck to them," Cast Iron said, and with a wave of his hoof a section of wall up ahead opened up, blinding Twilight with an outpouring of brilliant white light.
"Magically sealed, only we have the keystones," Cast Iron noted proudly.
"Alright," Twilight said, protecting her eyes with an arm. "That's kind of impressive," she noted.
"I'm glad you approve, now if you'll follow me inside..." Cast Iron said, leading her in through the light.
Inside was a small lobby, with a glass room overlooking it and a harsh white light filling the room. Inside the glass room was a grinning night guard, with an armoured Night Guard sitting inside.
To the left was a metal door, and on the wall beside that a notice:
ACCIDENT FREE FOR: 14 DAYS
"Welcome to Facility Y your Highness. Archer is awaiting you inside," She said, her voice amplified by a speaker above the window.
A moment later the door slid open, and Twilight stepped into the long hall to see a smiling, well armoured, Night Guard standing before her. He bowed, rather low, and gently grasped her hoof.
He kissed it, and released it. Twilight blushed, she wasn't used to be treated like actual royalty.
"I'm glad you could come your Highness, I'm Archer, in charge of this facility. Follow me, and I'll give you a tour," He said, turning to the hallway ahead.
"Very good Archer, let's have a look," Twilight said. A slight shimmer, hopefully un-noticable, adjusted her crown.
She felt her saddle bag slip off, and glanced back to see Cast Iron hefting it.
"We'll take of this, your Highness," He said, giving a shallow bow.
"Good, but do be careful with it," Twilight said.
"Of course."
Turning back forwards, Archer led her town the hallway, with Twilight glancing around as they trotted. It was beset with doors all along the sides, no windows on any of them and only a room number identifying them. A few had a small roster board outside.
"Most of the work we do down here is just basic research and development- we're focusing on one idea in particular right now. But we have a dozen or so other projects on the go at any time," Archer said, pausing before a door with a pair of yellow plastic suits outside.
"Room 301, hazardous materials. A lot of what we do down here generates some dangerous leavings- so we dilute it, pack it all in barrels, and bury it in the desert," Archer said.
"You... bury toxic chemicals in the desert?" Twilight asked.
"Where else?" Archer said, and trotted onwards without any regard for what he had said. Twilight began to detect a faint stench in the state of Denmare, but maybe it was just another sacrifice they needed to make for the war. If poisoning the desert brought them victory, then so be it.
A half minute later he stopped before a second room, and gently opened the door.
"Room 307, aeronautics." he said.
Twilight peaked around the corner, a few lab-coated ponies were discussing something before the model of what looked like one of the Phoenix planes, except markedly larger. On a blackboard behind them was a complex series of questions Twilight recognized as dealing with the thrust of an engine versus the weight of it. If she was reading it right, they were having trouble getting the engine to a light enough point that it would be able to break the sound barrier, yet sturdy enough that it wouldn't break apart.
"Fascinating," Twilight said, and Archer smiled.
"If you ever have anything to add, feel free," he suggested.
Twilight nodded. "Sure, but I think this one is in good hooves," She said.
A wave of pride washed over the scientists in the room, and for a moment they paused to glance back at their Princess all smiles. She met their smiles with a sagely nod.
Reward the good, disparage the bad
______________________
His staff assembled before him, Flankenstein trotted down the line and inspected them.
Coming to a halt before Neils, one of the newer members of the group; and fresh out of the school in Canterlot, he sighed.
"Neils, cologne, really?" He said, his colleague looking to the floor as if it held some great mystery.
"This is an official visit, not a date!" Flankenstein yelled disparagingly.
He then forcibly gripped his chin, and brought it forwards to glare into the stallions eyes.
"Hazardous. Materials." Flankenstein growled.
A pair of the others shuddered, ever since their tour of duty in there they had been most eager to please.
"No, please! Anything but that!" Neils exclaimed, awkwardly trotting backwards before he ran into the cylinder.
The door opened with a dull green glow.
"One week, keep arguing and I'll make it two," Flankenstein threatened.
Neils glanced around, but there would be no support from his colleagues. They knew who was in charge.
"Now then," Flankenstein addressed the rest, while Neils ran out of the room in a fearful haste. "The rest of you try and look like you're useful. Leave the talking to me," he said.
His staff nodded, and ambled off to find something to do. A pair of them erased the blackboards, and started re-writing their equations.
Flakenstein himself straightened his coat and took up a position near the door, waiting.
Objective: Secure more funding, perhaps a large scale collider could crack the alicornium.
Secondary: Swallow your pride and ask her for help, who knows? She was the protege of Celestia after all, maybe she knew something they didn't.
Now that was a thought, Celestia somehow indirectly helping them through her protege. If she, or even her sister, knew about their plans and projects down here she was likely to be rather... disappointed.
Her sister would be angry, and was likely to start building some of the guillotines the Zebras liked so much. Even Luna didn't have the vision to see this through to the end they needed. They both lived on a time scale long enough that they could just outlast the storm. Flankenstein, the Night Guard, the regular ponies- they couldn't. Twilight was young, and perhaps thought more like we did. Our lives lasted only a century at the most, and he would do whatever it takes to see a return to peace for the next generation, and the ones after that- forever.
_______________
Archer pointed out yet another door. "Rocketry, my personal favourite," he said, opening the door and leading Twilight inside.
The room had a rather high roof, and in the middle was one of the "ATA-1" missiles the Wonderbolts had. A single scientist was in the room as well, fiddiling with a mock up that looked similar, but not quite, like the full scale model in the centre.
"I've always been rather proud of the ATA, we reverse engineered it from the griffon missiles they used to kill so many in Baltimare. A disgusting atrocity, and one we'll ensure is never repeated," Archer said, leading Twilight to the rocket.
"I'm surprised you were able to do it so quickly. A heat seeking missile, I've only seen this sort of thing once- not on this world," Twilight said.
"I've heard about the world beyond the mirror, but that's a discussion perhaps for another day," Archer said, turning to Twilight with the missile behind him.
"Do you know how they worked, the originals?" He asked.
Twilight nodded. "A small enchanted device, that pulled on the fins to guide it following a heat signature. Not very accurate, but they put this sticky flammable substance in with the explosives. Terrifying," She said.
"Mostly correct, with one exception- they weren't heat-seeking, that's a lie to keep the populace from panicking," Archer said.
"Not heat seeking?" Twilight asked.
Archer shook his head. "No. Magic seeking,"
Twilight did a take in shock. "Magic seeking? As in... it follows the magic of a pony?" She asked incredulously.
Archer nodded solemnly. "That's it. The griffons build a weapon with only one purpose: to kill ponies en masse. Do you see now why we have to stop them?" He asked.
Twilight squinted at him, unsure what he meant. "Of course I see why they need to be stopped, I voted for this war after all. We'll beat them in the end, Queen Luna will see to it," she said.
"Oh Her Majesty will beat them, I'm sure of that. I want us to go a little... further," He said ominously.
"Further?" Twilight asked.
"Follow me, and come see our most secret, and greatest, project," He said, and led her out of the room.
Twilight followed him with a glance back at the menacing rocket. If they put some of that toxic material in one, had it burst in the air...
Good Celestia what am I thinking!??
Glancing down the corridor, Flankenstein caught the sound of hoofsteps echoing down, a familiar voice speaking with a young mare alongside those. He ducked his head inside and quietly closed the door. It was time, finally.
"Alright colts! Look good, look smart, and for Celestia's sake don't say anything!" Flankenstein ordered, and his staff quickly shot to attention.
He watched them go about their attempt to follow his order, bemused as they bumped into each other. The two at the board once again erased it, and methodically began replicate the equations. The other two put on the best philosopher stance as they pondered the mysteries of the Alicornium.
Satisfied they atleast didn't look entirely like incompetents, he awaited the arrival of Her Highess, Princess Twilight Sparkle.
It would be nice to get a Princess on their side, that was for sure.
_______________________
"And here we are. Room X-01, Alicornium Physics," Archer said, halting before a markedly thicker door. Outside it was a small roster sheet, one of the names having been hastily erased recently.
"Alicornium? What are you doing with that, It's always been more of a curiosity then a weapon," Twilight noted.
"So was fire, once. Doctor Flankenstein can explain better then I can, so I'll leave you with him," Archer said, and pushed the door open.
He gestured Twilight inside, and she did with a slight reluctance. When she saw what was in the centre of the room, however, it faded away.
"Sweet Celestia..." She breathed, beholding the beautiful ball of Alicornium hovering in the water.
Behind her Archer gave a nod to Flankenstein, and gently closed the door as Twilight trotted in wonder.
The scientists that had been pondering it backed away with their heads bowed, allowing their princess to approach the grey sphere.
She looked up at it in awe, Flankenstein slowly approaching behind her.
"It's quite something, isn't it? I often stare into it for hours, it's both inspiring and terrifying if you look into it long enough," He said.
Noticing something odd, he paused a short distance away. Twilight's horn was glowing... purple. The Alicornium was too, in sync with her.
"I've been there..." She said, staring up into the sphere with her hooves on the glass.
Flankenstein glanced back at his staff, all of whom had clustered in the corner unsure of what was going on.
"Princess?" Flankenstein asked, himself slightly afraid- but also intrigued like any good scientist should be.
"I've BEEN THERE!" Twilight shouted, seemingly drilling into their minds. She turned back and her glowing eyes were matched only by the brilliance of the alicornium itself behind her, the water bubbling around it.
"Princess!" Flankenstein shouted.
Twilight paused for a moment, and he felt an incredible pain shoot through his entire body.
"Princess!" He repeated, stammering weakly.
She blinked, and fell backwards. The alicornium ceased its powerful glow as she did too.
"Princess?!" Flankestein asked, quickly coming to her side. She opened her eyes, and looked up at him.
"I... I don't know what that was," She said, laying on the ground.
"Are you okay? I haven't seen magic like that before," Flankenstein asked,
Twilight nodded. "I'm fine, don't worry about me. Celestia taught me how to use that sort of magic a while ago. Dark magic or something, like Sombra used," She said, coming to all four and dusting herself off.
"Celestia... taught you this?" Flankenstein asked.
Twilight nodded. "She did, it's a large part of how I passed my test in the Crystal Empire and defeated Sombra," She said.
"This is... an interesting development. I had no idea there was 'dark' magic," He said, staring up at the now settled Alicornium.
"How about you get some rest, and we can continue this in the morning?" He suggested.
Twilight shook her head. "It's like, three in the afternoon- and I'm fine," She said, and looked up at the alicornium again.
"I have an idea, do you have two small slivers of it?" She asked.
"We can cut parts off, how much do you need?" Flankenstein returned.
Twilight considered for a moment.
"As small as possible," She replied.
Flankestein nodded, and gestured to one of the staff. He fetched a large metal grabber while another rolled a ladder over to the side of the cylinder. The pony with the grabber, and thick gloved hooves, climbed it and opened a porthole ontop. Grasping the sphere firmly he pulled it out.
"It's not very dangerous as far as we know, but we don't take that for granted," Flankestein said.
Twilight nodded, and watched as the scientist carefully carried into a back room. A few minutes of waiting later he reappeared, rolling out a cart with two plastic dishes on it.
"So what's your idea?" Flankenstein asked, as the pony halted before them.
"Watch," Twilight said, and sprayed the first with a magenta bolt of magic. The second, after a short pause, a green/purple bolt.
Flankenstein felt he began to understand. "You charged the first with light, and the second with dark?" He wondered.
Twilight nodded. "Do you have a secure room where we can bring the two together?" She asked.
Flankenstein nodded, his heart starting to race with excitement. "We do, follow me," He said, and quickly led her and the rest of his staff out of the room, wheeling the cart head of himself.
Had they finally done it?
He burst through the doors of the explosive testing room a short trot later. It was a concrete room about fifty square meters wide, in the centre of which was a small steel stage. The dozens of experiments in there left it scorched, and the concrete had been repaired time and time again. A thick foam was behind it as well, absorbing the shock of what went on in there. Thick blast doors sealed it from the rest of the base, and the roof was designed so that if any explosion was too powerful it would shoot through, for above here was the ocean, and it would stream in to curtail any fire. The closer side had a viewing room behind meter thick steel reinforced glass as well.
Flankenstein rolled the cart with took both dishes out into the middle, noting how they clearly glowed the same colour as the magic Twilight had used- magenta on the first, purple/green on the second, and turned back to his followers.
"So how do we bring them together safely?" He asked them.
Erwin stepped forward.
"Use a funnel to direct it, and put one of the slivers above some black powder with a fuse. When the fuze lights to the powder, it'll burn up and allow the alicornium through the hole, which is too small for the powder grain to go through," He suggested.
"The second part should be held on the end of tweezers, directed at the funnel hole," He added.
"Good, get it done, and for Celestia's sake be careful," he ordered.
His staff nodded and swarmed past him, leaving Twilight standing where they had been.
"Princess, if this works you just saved Equestria," Flankenstein said, excitedly.
Twilight edged back and squinted at him. "I get that you like your work, but you seem oddly gleeful for somepony designing weapons. Why do you want to do this anyway? We don't have enough alicornium for it to replace bombs or whatever," she said.
Flankenstein led her out of the main room into the observation area, as a pair of his staff galloped out to retrieve something.
"You're thinking too small scale, your Highness. We don't want to replace our current bombs, we want to make new ones, bigger ones," He boasted.
Twilight stared out the window, a mix of horror and stark realization on her face.
"You have an entire kilogram of it," She said.
"Twenty five million tonnes of conventional explosive in one place! Imagine it, we could obliterate the entire griffon home island chain in one fell swoop! Nobody will dare cross us again with this knowledge!" He exclaimed.
Twilight decided to hold her mouth, and wondered what she had unleashed here. Perhaps... he was right? The griffons had after all attacked them first, killed ponies and ruined cities. What if this was the price of peace? Luna had certainly been right that they had to remove the griffon ability to make war to ensure a lasting peace, and wasn't this the logical conclusion of that idea? Ponies had once made extinct theFit the wolves, and the other feral predators that roamed the continent- was this not the same thing?
A few minutes later the stage was set, and a member of the staff (whom had drawn the short straw) lit the fuze and quickly dashed inside the secured room. He slammed the door behind and spun the wheel around, shortly taking his position with the rest, then they awaited the result. The pace of their hearts was matched only by the pace of the fire as it raced up the string.
Twenty seconds later a flash of light bloomed from the centre, and a fiery explosion shot out to consume the room in flame. The room shook from the shock wave, but the glass held. Once the storm inside had subsided, there was nothing left of the cart.
The glass, a meter thick, was cracked.
"That.. that was less then a hundredth of a gram!" Erwin exclaimed, stammering with excitement.
Flankenstein grinned, and turned to his shaken-but ecstatic, colleagues.
"Gentleponies, your Highness," He said, with a nod to Twilight. "We just won the war," He said.
A jubilant series of hoof shakes and cries were shared by all except Twilight, whom stood to the side and slowly a look of sheer horror came on her face. Never in history had anyone, pony or otherwise, had the power to utterly annihilate their enemies.
Now they did.
"He never showed me the radar...." Twilight mumbled to herself, frantic realizations coming to her mind.
What have I done?
Duel-POV? I remember doing that in some of the earlier chapters in Sol. I quite liked doing it, but it made the chapters... long. Oh, you took my letter format? Great work on that. It took me FOREVER to figure out how to make that work. I'm glad I could help with that indirectly.
Your characterization of Twilight so far is good, but expect her to break out of that 'princess' mold fairly soon once she gets pushed too far. I'm glad you're making her seem nervous and comfortable with her uncharacteristic formalities. Be careful with her pride though as she is modest to a fault, but seeing the power slowly changing her is progressing smoothly. Great work on that thusfar.
I certainly see the omnicity in the alicornium. Don't push it too far though. Comparing it to nuclear weapon is more than enough as I'm sure your readers will know how dangerous it is.
The duel-POV is working well for this chapter. Reading is a great way to improve one's writing. Learning is improving!
Archer is an interesting character. I'll admit, and I wonder what is under that zelot exteriour.
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One of the reasons I had so much fun here, and got so far so quck, was the differing style of thinking between Flankenstein and Twilight as they slowly came together. Flankenstein's reasoning for wanting to commit genocide coupled with Twilights slow realization that the Night Guard might be going too far in a few places. Or, are they? What if they're right, and this really does need to be done? Twilight has some choices to make.
Ye, totally and utterly stolen. I am a butt.
Good, goooood. I'm trying to characterize her as a middle ground between Luna's aggressive love of power, (The Just Tyrant) and Celestia's inability to really confront the dirtier problems states get in to time to time (She's styled as the philisopher kind more or less). Thus the longass Star Swirl intro.
One of the fun parts was the fact that they're trying to feed into the "I'm a Princess" thing, and lead her to the DARRRKKK SIIIIDDEEE.
Noted as heck.
*wine glass tink* Perfect.
4127208 Well they tried to until she realized what she just did and aided in the creation of a genocidal weapon. Celestia help her she is going have some tough decisions ahead.Also like the whole idea of Twilight being the middle ground in personality in how to deal with things between her and the two sisters. Though Luna and Celestia will still be needed as twilight will never be as good as them on their ends of the spectrum but can delegate the middle ground compromise. Or at least i think that is where it will be going.
4129164
I'm not sure if the little Star Swirl opening was too hamfisted or not. You've got the right idea, Twilight as the middle between them both.
Celestia is kind to all, wise and strong; Luna is an aggressive mind, and a capable leader in times of crisis.
Twilight can be both.
4130280 Ah, don't worry about it. I'm just bothering to write down the stuff I always notice as I read, that's all.
4130471
I have some fun at times, specifically in this and the latest chapter, writing devils advocate stuff. Really bend my POLI SCI SKILLS and write from the perspective of "Crazy hyper-nationalist, racist, libertarian extremist" and stuff like that.
Fixes fixed!
At this point Twilight has already been informed that most griffins are fighting against their will under threat of serious harm to their clanmates. She is also aware that the griffin kingdoms are full of non-combatants.
The very idea of rendering griffins extinct is so abhorrent to her ideals I can't even consider it within the realm of possibility. That the griffins are mostly innocent and/or unwilling just makes it that much less credible.
I expect her to go full-on mane-of-fire rage over this and destroy much of the facility.
4130687
Fixes fixed.
I have thought about it, but adjusting for fimfiction formatting is a pain. It's not perfect, but I'm happy with the status quo.
I've actually relaxed that rule somewhat, allowing anything that isn't a spoiler or referencing deleted material to stay.
4131732
Corrections corrected, thank you for LINE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT. Feels good.
You can be the citizen of a state, but not part of the nation. We'll get into this further when Wildcard gets his next go, eventually.
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I refer you to my friend here.
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I had a buttload of fun writing it, it's an idea I had in a philisophy lecture. A modification of some Platonic ideas. I expect to write a few of these. Your approval means a lot to me. It's not a super action filled chapter, obviously, but I felt it was important to explain why Celestia had been so 'incompetent'. She's thinking on levels way beyond the regular pony.
Damned if you, damned if you don't, and damned if you walk away.
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My point was less "has dark parts" and more "centrally builds itself around dark"
When the focus is pure darkness, that's when I stop caring. You're probably right though and I'm a big judgmental butt. I get like that sometimes, being meaner about things then I really should be.
Chrysalis herself might be evil, but is it any less so to invade and replace her with yourself? No, change has to come from within, on it's own terms. The changelings aren't evil, but her?
Your comment is lucid though, and is a result of the fact I literally had no idea where this was going when I started. Heck, I thought i was just gonna pen a ten thousand word short and be done with it.
Tags are something that I've never been too sure about, and thus basically avoided.
Is there romance? Well I guess so, but it isn't a huge central factor.
Does it get dark? Well, yeah, most good adventures do. I never kill off half the characters at a wedding though.
Etc, etc.
theirs
I feel that this whole section is slightly unclear. The ponies have a magic seeking missile. The "it" here, though, is that the gryphon's missile, or the pony's? Because it's been specifically stated that fireworks and such can spoof them, so that implies that it is only heat seeking. Yet here it seems to be implying that it's magic seeking instead? So I'm left a little uncertain who discovered and is using what. (Note: I see this is clarified later on, but that doesn't explain how the fireworks worked then? Were they magical, I guess?)
Poor, naive Twilight.
Little does he know that Twilight is the Princess of Eggheads.
Twilight's
I kind of suspect they're going to snoop through it.
peeked
Fluttershy gives backrubs to a bear, who we see in several other episodes too. So they're not extinct.
Another great chapter. Now to have a poke at the unpublished bit. (oops, I see that this *was* the unpublished bit* Weird, I didn't get notified of a new chapter...)
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The uhh... the...
THE FIREWORKS WERE LIT WITH MAGIC
~wipes brow~
This isn't a hasty, poorly thought out, retcon at all no sir. I'm gonna have to figure out a way to cover my ass here, but it's possible that my planning for part 2 already covered this.
*coughs*
Fixed fixed, also im gonna make the bear a... something, probably thanks for pointing that out.
Pre-read links for the next thing going up... well now I guess why the hell not, everybodies online.
Any larger scale thoughts?
4135929 For some reason I didn't get notified that you'd published this, even though I should have, so I didn't realize that the link I'd seen earlier wasn't still going to an unpublished chapter.
Anyway!
Overall thoughts... I have enjoyed all the disparate bits of this story. Each is pretty good on their own, and they are building a narrative all put together, but doing a story by jumping around like this has some down sides. Even if you get everything into order (not actually required, but if you're not getting literary and cute with plot twists, probably chronological order is best) it would still be a very choppy, jumpy narrative. I've mentioned before, and I know you've blogged about it, that the pace of a story should generally be moving through a series of gradually increasing peaks to a final climax. There is nothing even remotely like that here. There's no single sense of forward motion, like there was in From the Desk of Ambassador Wildcard. It just jumps all over, in location, POV, and mood. I think that's the biggest weakness here, that and the inevitable small plot holes that come up when you don't have everything tightly planned out in advance.
Honestly I don't think there's a "fix" for that, unless you want to re-write the whole story (I'm pretty sure you don't.) But it's something to keep in mind in future projects.
Still, overall I'm having fun, and I'm interested in seeing what comes next.
4135961
Agreed on all points. I'm trying to do something different, and it has it's ups and downs. I think I'm slowly learning how to smoothen them out, and eventually all points will converge.
Night Files excepted, as it's sort of a side-step to everything, the second series will hopefully have a better build up/pay off. Instead of "things happening totally seperated from eachother with no real common antagonist" there is a common antagonist here, and these events will lead towards something.
Hopefully it'll work better.
i really like this monitor
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If you do decide to do any edits just tell me and I'll make sure they get posted here.
4136186 If you mean this: http://img.rakuten.com/PIC/29010202/0/1/300/29010202.jpg Yep, those are slats.
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Nah man not those, like. Imagine one of those big regal beds with a roof and all, fancy stuff. Bed posts, etc.
Now imagine that there's a cloth surrounding it, like a
dear lord the word is bed curtain isn't it
astral confirmed to be dumb as heck
4136182 I'm really not sure how to frame my critique here. It's not that you've written a bad story, just that you've written something that is a side story, and not the story I was reading. I've become involved in the world of this story, and the whole chapter had nothing much to do with the world or the ponies I'd gotten interested in.
So I wasn't really saying that I felt you'd written those past pieces just to make me feel emotionally involved, just that they were all I had to make me emotionally involved, and they weren't really drawing me in. I feel like this is something I'd have enjoyed more on its own, rather than as an interruption to the story I was reading.
If it had been a guest piece like the earlier bit with First Class and Luna, for example, I'd have still enjoyed it. Being a guest piece with an OC that doesn't seem to have any real relationship to any of the story's actual characters, it felt like I was being dragged away from what I wanted to read to read something else.
Ie. it's not really anything about the way you wrote any of it, it's about what you wrote and where it was put, which I can't really critique, except to say that presented with this as "here's something else from this universe to read" I'd have probably gotten more into it than having it presented as part of the story.
Hopefully that makes sense.
4136230 Curtains, or a canopy, depending on if it covers just the sides or the top as well.