Dealing with your fears · 11:50am Sep 21st, 2022
Hopefully, this will be me someday, dealing with my fears. 
Baby steps. I have tried getting more involved with people on different platforms, trying to chat and stuff. Trying to belong. But I still feel incredibly nervous every time I press "Send." I have way too many filters between my brain and my fingers. But I think I have come a long way since my worst days. I'm still afraid that if I open myself too much, I'll only get hurt. I'm afraid that people will not like me for who I am. I don't have the "sass" other people do. But I try to be more active and open with people.
I mean, how does one deal with his fears? How do you get rid of those filters and stuff? If I'm afraid of posting something just because it might sound stupid? Maybe it has an embarrassing typo in there. Or how that makes me look. Why do I care so much about all that stuff? How do I stop caring? Or should I even try to stop it? If that's who I am. One of the worst things that I always imagine happening is if someone gives me very negative feedback on something. I did something wrong, incorrectly. I didn't do something right. Everybody makes mistakes. I'm not really afraid of making mistakes, but rather how others will react to them. It's easy to laugh in a group at someone because you cannot be accused alone for laughing. But the target can't defend himself in any way. I guess that's why I'm afraid. Because I could not defend myself, nor would anybody else. I protect myself from all harm, practically stopping living at the same time. Kinda messed up now that I think about it that way.
The human mind is such a mystery. I often find myself thinking these things. The hows and whys of our minds. It usually leaves my mind in a mellow, empty state of sorts afterward. It's almost relaxing. Because it's something one could never hope to comprehend and that's just okay... 
I hear ya. All this sounds way too familiar...
On the bright side (if you can call it that), being nervous about sounding stupid and about what others will think of you if you say something wrong (or unpopular) is more common than people think. Many people are scared of saying something others will not like because, thanks to social media, the consequence may be MUCH more severe now than in the past. Unfortunately, all of this is the perfect fuel for anxiety and feeling of alienation. It's hard to feel you belong somewhere when you're afraid to say what you really think...
Usually, the professional way to deal with fears is to face them slowly in a controlled environment. However, I'm not sure this applies very well to the anxiety of posting online...
Frankly, the best solution would be to dump social media platforms altogether and stick to face-to-face conversations. Even during heated discussions, people IRL almost never act anywhere near as bad as they do online - probably because IRL, they get subtle (or not subtle) clues from body language that they're acting like a-holes
But from experience, I know that dumping online platforms is easier said than done. So, as an alternative, I would say... seek people who you know are open-minded and who won't snap at you even if they disagree with something you said. This is not an easy task (hard to find such people), and it will not fix all your fears, but having someone who you can safely talk to should at least allow you to vent and reduce the stress.
On that note... it's depressing as hell that we're losing the ability to simply exchange different POVs without insults
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Honestly, I don't know what to say to all that. I couldn't have said it better myself. The consequences can really be infinitely worse than a few years ago. A wrong choice of word and you could be nailed to the wall. The level of aggression and self-entitlement people have these days makes it so much worse. It feels almost unreal sometimes.
The problem is, that I'm even more shy IRL than online. I basically never made any friends throughout my life. Not anyone who shared the same values I do anyway. I'm not one to judge others, but it feels like I'm always among the minority whatever I do or think. I mean, I have diagnosed a bit of this and a bit of that during my life. I simply function very differently from other people. Or mainstream. My family has been my lifeline, though. I can speak with them about most things.
Yeah, it's definitely not easy. If I dropped all online communications with others, basically, I wouldn't even exist. Finding those people would be nothing short of a miracle. And just when I think I found some, I feel like I get ignored. It's in our nature to want to feel accepted and belong. And when you don't get anything in return for your efforts of trying to communicate with others, it will only have a negative impact on the next time you try it. You'll be even more insecure. It's a vicious cycle.
Exactly. What's up with that, seriously? It feels like you can't say anything these days without making someone upset. Depressing is definitely the right word for it.
And I also want to say that you probably have no idea how much your comments always mean to me.
Any comments people ever write to me. It always makes my day. 
But at the same time, I feel selfish that I never go to other people's blogs to comment on stuff. The reason being everything mentioned here already. 
I feel like I should always give something back. But I just wanted you to know how much I always appreciate every and all comments I get! 
This platform is still one of my biggest outlets after all. And I would like to maintain the connections I have made here thus far.
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Just a note here regarding this site... most people come here for stories. Blogs are just an addition that many people don't read, even if it's story related. Unless you're one of the most popular users with thousands of followers, your posts usually won't generate many responses, so don't feel bad about it
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So true... and it's even 'better' when you say 'A' and people you talk to tell you that in their view, you said 'B' and attack you for it. Or they insist that 'if you support A, it means you also support X, Y, and Z!' even if you say you don't. And X, Y, and Z is, of course, something horrible. Makes conversation a little tricky...
But my favorite is this:
And then, if P1 decides to take 'drastic measures,' P2 is usually like, 'Why would he do such a thing
?!' Yeah, I wonder... 
Trust me, I know the feeling; we all do (even if people claim otherwise). But as I said, FimFiction blogs are usually at the end regarding replies. You typically get the most interactions from stories and/or forums. Also, keep in mind that the number of active users here shrank since the FiM ended, affecting the number of interactions.
I'm not sure if there are any groups on this site (that are not an echo-chambers) where you could just discuss various opinions, but if you're feeling down, you can try posting something on the:
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/200615/anti-depression-ponies
You'll usually get some friendly interactions there
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And it's quite sad that the site is losing its users. I hope they won't close this site anytime soon. It would be rather devastating 
I haven't even seen the last season yet myself. I have just been chilling in my own time loop if that makes any sense. Trying to cherish the memories of better times. Both here and in real life. Just listening to some music, trying to write stories and such.
Yeah, I do realize that these are not supposed to get that much attention in the first place. And in a way, it doesn't really matter. As long as I can unload my thoughts and feelings somewhere. To be perfectly honest, I haven't left my own page for years. The amount of feed notifications has climbed over 28 000 by now
A little tricky indeed. Sounds quite familiar. That's basically why I never opened up to anyone. And that leads to next to no conversation at all. I remember when I used to go to this group for a while, we could all sit there in the room for hours without anyone saying anything. I could go through the day without saying a word. And when we were assigned some tasks, everything felt so forced. Like nobody even wanted to be there. But at the same time, I was always hoping somebody would say something. Ask me something. And maybe the others felt the same way too. Still, it rarely got that far we could have discussed more than just the weather or the news or something. And it's not much easier Online either. Like, everything you do will always be there. You'd have to be even more cautious of what you say.
I have been thinking to have my own blog site for years now, but then decided not to. Because opinions are basically banned in today's society. I simply figured out I'd rather try to be happy myself than burn myself up. I'm actually pretty content with my life as of now, but even I need some human interaction from time to time. I joined that group, though. Should check it out more closely at some point.