Analysing Sonichu Issue #6 · 3:44pm Dec 3rd, 2021
Sonichu Issue 6 was published in February 2007, leaving an eight month gap between it and Issue 5. This issue sees a notable format change, with the entirety of the CWCVille action confined to one episode (Chris having realised that having multiple episodes that immediately connected to one another in the same comic is rather pointless). However, the strip before the main story sees Chris conduct one of his most notable artistic experiments.
You're probably wondering who this is. Well, let me explain, as we go well back into the history of Chris' life.
When Chris was six years old in 1988, the Chandler family got a dog called Patti.1 Chris adored her, and the two quickly became inseperable and lifelong companions. Sadly, in 2006 Patti died, an incident that left Chris very upset for a considerable period; as the speech he delivered at her funeral shows, Patti was one of the few beings he truly loved and cared for.
I raised Patti since she was a six-week old pup, and I wanted to take the strain for signing the one-way ticket (it was hard for me, but it was for the best). So I signed that paper, with a crying Sonichu face saying, "We love you, Patti." After that, I gave her my final pets, hug, hand-to-paw hold, eye-contact, ear-rub, cheek-to-fur rub, and I sadly waved her for the final time, and I said, "Good Bye, Patti, I Love You." As I stood outside, I heard Patti's last barks saying, "I will always love you, Chris. Thank You."
But we all must move on with our lives with our beloved lucky mutt in our hearts and in our memories. So, Patti, may your old dog house and surrounding flowers forever memorialize your blessed heart, your barks at the stars and strangers, and your loyal love that you have blessed upon me and my family and friends. Bark on, and rest in peace, our beloved lucky Patti.
-Christian Weston Chander.2
Naturally, Chris wanted to include a tribute in his comic to his fallen friend, and in a few pages we'll see how he did it.
The jargon page is the same as the previous issue, so nothing really new to say there.
Chris then breaks his own numbering convention for this episode, numbering it 12.5. This would suggest that these events take place between 'My Best Friend's Cherokian Wedding' and 'Smashed Hearts and Entrapment'. The title of this short story is 'One Lucky Dog', and it opens on a cold summer's night.
Chris would later reveal that his vet determined Patti's date of birth, a method which is not known for its accuracy.3 If this is even remotely accurate, Patti lived for 18 years, which is a very long life for a dog. Sadly, not even his dog can escape from being made to stroke Chris' ego in the comics; the entire second half of Patti's speech is devoted to how much she misses him. Having said all that, Chris' technique of incorporating his drawings into real photos works surprisingly well.
Scamper was a cat that the Chandlers owned (one of many, it turns out).4 Chris also inadvertently reveals the quality of his art (or lack of it), as these real life photos demonstrate that comic Chris barely resembles the real person.
Chris' expression in the second of his panels always makes me crack up for some reason. It's not clear if 'horray' is a typo on Chris' part or a reference to internet culture. You'll probably also have noticed that Patti looks a bit strange, and the next page will make this all too clear.
Chris has resurrected his dog as what the MLP community would term an 'anthro' character (a confusing term since the ponies themselves show human traits and thus are anthropomorphic, but I digress). Unfortunately, the poor quality artwork looks even worse when placed against real backdrops, as Patti is noticably deformed in a different way in each panel.
The way Chris has typed the word 'so', with a single extra 'O', is a consequence of his tendancy to type sentences the exact way he would say them. Whilst adding extra letters to a word for emphasis is quite a common practice in writing ('I'm soooooooooooooooo bored!', for instance), only adding a single 'O' sounds completely ridiculous (and not to be confused with the common nickname for Sault Ste. Marie, a city in Canada). The photos also reveal something about the state of Chris' garden; by this point in his life, the place was getting rather overgrown and unkempt, with a distinct lack of maintenance. We'll see more of this problem later on.
The bottom set of pictures are actual photos of the interior of Chris' bedroom as it looked in 2006. As you can see, the room is incredibly messy, packed full of junk, various toys (notice the collection of LEGO buildings which were an early version of CWCVille), and mountains of posters and custom art (including his 'Wall of Originals', where he kept his homemade Pokemon cards).5 The fact that this was the cleanest room in the house tells you a lot about his family, who were notorious for hoarding ridiculous amounts of stuff to the point that corridors and rooms were packed to the brim with junk.6
Patti, that's the understatement of the century. It's not clear whether 'open says-a-me' is a pun or a mishearing of 'open sesame' from 1001 Nights.
This scene with the portal adds even more confusion as to where CWCVille is actually located. Incidental dialogue back in Sonichu #2 implied that it existed within the United States (which is weird since the Geography of our world, Sonic's world, and the Pokemon world do not fit together), but this portal suggests it exists in another dimension. Which is it, Chris?
Chris has switched art styles to denote the fact we are now in the world of the comic, similar to how The Wizard of Oz switches from black and white to colour when Dorothy arrives in Oz. Alternatively, he may have gotten this idea from Mulholland Drive, but having said that I suspect David Lynch's usual output is not Chris' style of film.
Notice how massive Chris' office is. He actually drew this design for a CADD project, and it's not entirely clear why the mayor of a mid sized city (assuming CWCVille to be a similar size to Charlottesville) would need an office this big, considering that CWCVille doesn't seem to have a coherent government.7 The fact it needs to be incorporated into the Mall tells us a lot about local real estate prices.
The idea of the Mayor being able to handle and sign documents on the go is actually an interesting one, as it would dramatically increase the efficiency of government. Unfortunately, the entertaining plot hook of being called to an emergency is never used, rendering this device pointless.
Chris further reinforces his status in this comic as having deity level powers through his power to enchant objects. We then meet Allison Amber, one of Chris' more bizarre characters. The fact that a high ranking Hollywood star would choose to switch to scretarial work shows that Chris has no idea how human beings work, and the remark about a boyfriend makes you wonder if Chris whished he were dating her himself (despite the fact that Amber doesn't exist). The usual typos abound as well.
The two songs cited as ones that Chris 'covered' in the early 2000s. Chris' approach to writing songs is to write new lyrics and then sing over the top of the old melody, an approach dubbed 'plunderphonics' by the music community.
As weird as some of this is, Chris writing this tribute to Patti, and immortalising her in his comics, is actually quite sweet. In that sense, she will never truly die.
This final dedication page reveals that, at least at this point in his life, Chris could distinguish between fiction and reality.
Christian and the Hedgehog Boys is a made up band Chris put together to market his recordings. The fictional group consisted of Sonic, Sonichu, Blake, and Shadow (these adverts constituting Shadow's only appearances in Sonichu). In reality, the band consisted of existing song recordings that Chris yelled over the top of (as Chris is completely tone deaf).8 This recording should give you an idea of the scale of the problem.
After that, Chris gets back onto the main plotline in Episode 14, 'Evil is Afoot!'
Episode 14 picks up where Episode 13 left off, with Crystal imprisoned by Walsh and the heroes unable to do much about it. Considering how quickly he can switch forms, it is rather inexplicable that Chris has not switched back to his Sonichu form.
Patti finally joins the fight, as does Darkbind Sonichu making his canon Sonichu debut (he previously appeared in the Sub-Episodes).
I can buy Rosechu knowing Patti, as she's been around for a bit at this point in the timeline, but Darkbind is only just appearing for the first time, so she should not know who he is. In one of the panels, Chris' eyes have grown so big they take up 70% of his face.
Megan's proportions go weird as Chris draws from the Pokemon anime. A running joke in that series was that the villains (Team Rocket) would get hurled into the sky and shout 'we're blasting off again' as they vanished. Chris copies it here, but without the pun of Team 'Rocket' who are 'Blasting off', the joke does not work.
This page, a council meeting in Chris' office, is a superb demonstration of an incomprehensible page in Sonichu, as we have no idea what order any of this dialogue is supposed to be read in. However, there is one oddly prophetic line in there; Sonichu's remark about seeing Chris with long hair. This serves as unintentional foreshadowing of Chris coming out as trans.9 Zelina is a copy of Princess Zelda from the Legend of Zelda games.
As usual, all the characters are primarily concerned with Chris (although Crystal is in danger). Chris finally figures out how elbows work whilst Bubbles goes off on a tangent about a person called Bionic (remember him, he'll be important later).
Magi Chan losing patience with the unnecesary tangents is one reason why he became so popular with fans, as this huge discussion about dating is just Chris projecting again.
Here Chris sets up the MacGuffin of this arc and what they are based on. For those who are not so familiar with the lore of Sonic, the Chaos Emeralds are seven (six in the first game) magical gems that grant incredible power when brought together.10 Collecting them is often critical to resolving the plot of a Sonic game, and they also allow characters to adopt super forms (Super Sonic being the most famous). The Sonichu Balls are a cross between them and the Dragon Balls, which are also powerful gems capable of granting great power.11
Chris was presumably unaware of the innuendo in Darkbind's concluding line.
Here, the problem of Darkbind and Magi Chan looking so similar comes into play; the two characters look so similar it can be hard to tell which is which in some panels. Chris then rips of The Legend of Zelda, with RuleCWC being 'Hyrule', and Clawdorf being Ganondorf (the main villain of the Legend of Zelda games).
The unfortunate composition of this panel generated extra layers of humour when Chris revealed that he suffered from fecal leakage.12 The way the onomatopoeia is placed creates the illusion that Chris is suffering from a rather explosive dump. Furthermore, it makes little sense to only take two people with you, seeing as CWCVille's enemies usually deploy large forces of cheap, disposable units.
You are probably wondering who this is, or why he is so interested in 'riegn' (as previously discussed, Chris does not comprehend the 'I before E' rule). Also, why was a valuable artefact for world safety being kept in a mall?
There is an amusing irony in Chris calling out this being on loud disturbances, seeing as he's caused so many himself. Sonichu's feet seem to have become a drum.
The villains aren't defeated effortlessly? That's an interesting change from the norm. Chris takes the idea of men having broad shoulders to ridiculous extremes whilst he grows an extra head. Is we wearing a corset with a waist that thin?
Chris has used both of these exclamations in real life; he is a big fan of the film adaptation of Mary Poppins, and gets his alleged zeal for women's rights from the character of Mrs Banks, who's a suffragette in the film (hilariously, he completely fails to grasp what the suffragettes were fighting for).13 The green hedgehog also seems to be on fire.
The reason you don't recall it, Chris, is because it wasn't there in Sonichu #2! You made this up literally as you went along! Reldnahc is, of course, Chandler spelled backwards, but I have no clue what Ha-Taque is supposed to be.
Amusingly, in the first draft, Chris spelled 'Notsew' incorrectly, and the typo abounded for years. Look at this design! It's bizarre (not to mention his trousers being purple causes them to blend into the background).
On top of all the other things he was at the time, Chris was also violently homophobic, and used Naitsirhc as a way of dumping homosexuality onto a character he could beat up in his comic.14 Entertainingly, the only way Christian and Naitsirhc vary in the comic is their openness, implying Christian is in the closet.
Blake gets some much needed character development, but this scene reflects the comic moving away from its influences in Sonic and Pokemon and towards being Chris' personal struggle. Magi Chan briefly alludes to Chris' issues with his father 'belittling' him, by which he means his father was trying to give constructive criticism (Chris, of course, ignores anything he does not want to hear).15 Blake also shows an interest in Bubbles despite the fact she helped to beat him to a pulp three issues earlier.
Casual homophobia in a comic. Am I reading Sonichu or a Chick Tract? I'm confused.
More recycled panels from earlier. And Naitsirhc, it seems, transformed back to normal solely to gloat? Weird!
Chris once again has the comic's alleged protagonist sidelined whilst he takes all the glory. The resulting fight scene is almost completely impossible to follow.
Told you!
Even in Sonichu, the villains waste time monologing instead of just getting on with it and killing the hero. In case you're wondering, their current location is Manchester High School, which Chris attended between 1996 and 2000 (and where the character of Sonichu was created).16
How convenient. Megan then somehow turns up (Chris can't even spell 'Megagi' correctly) and reveals that Reldnahc was knocked out by a basketball (which is quite unlikely).
Bionic was Chris' first ever Sonic OC, which he created in 1996 after receiving a basketball injury.17 Despite his name, he is not a robot; the name was picked as it rhymes with Sonic and starts with a B. In his backstory, he was Sonic's brother who somehow fell into a world of basketball playing hedgehogs, only to return many years later (uniquely, this story took place in the SATAM timeline rather than the games).18
Chris' remark about drawing the characters is confusing. Are they actual living beings in his mind, or do they only exist when he draws them?
Chris indeed had not had a date at this point; he would have his first in 2009.19 Bionic's comment about not having a date is the first signs of a serious problem that will harm the narrative of the comic (not that there is much of an interesting story to begin with).
Chris then stops the narrative to promote his DVD he never released to the public, making this ad pointless.
The drawing of the hospital, derived from a LEGO set, makes you wonder how Chris got a CADD degree at all if he can't be bothered to use a ruler. Funky Monkey is a reference to an unfunny joke Chris used to tell ad nauseum at events.20 Reldnahc's role firmly established in the comic, proceedings for this issue end.
This is the picture Bionic alluded to earlier. This was drawn in 1998. By a sixteen year old. And whilst today could be interpreted as an ironic comment on Sonic recolours, back then this was pretty new.
Another bland issue over. Honestly, I hope the story picks up at some point in the near future!
List of References;
1 https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Patti_Chandler
2 https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Chris_emails_2004-2006#September_2006
3 https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Wallflower_E-mails_2
4 https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Chandler_Cats#Scamper
5 https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Autism_Tutorial_Part_2; https://sonichu.com/cwcki/The_Wall_of_Originals
6 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_kcgnwfoBQ
7 https://sonichu.com/cwcki/CWCville_Mayoral_Office; for comparison, click here to see the meeting chamber of Bristol City Council.
8 https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Chris_and_music#Singing
9 https://sonichu.com/w/images/4/4c/SchuComic7Page19.jpg
10 https://sonic.fandom.com/wiki/Chaos_Emerald
11 https://dragonball.fandom.com/wiki/Dragon_Ball_(object)
12 https://sonichu.com/cwcki/DIRTY,_CRAPPED_BRIEFS
13 https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Mary_Poppins
14 https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Homos
15 https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Bob_Chandler#Chris
16 https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Manchester_High_School
17 https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Bionic_the_Hedgehog
18 https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Bionic_the_Hedgehog_(short_story)
19 https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Emily#Chris.27s_first_date
20 https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Random-access_humor
This issue irritates me more than most so far. Mainly for the same reasons I've named before.
5613665
Chris deciding to trap his dog in his own private hell than letting her soul rest in peace is a major irritant for me.
5613666
Speaking as a dog lover, I can understand completely where you're coming from.
5613702
Same here. And trapped as a slave where she can only do his bidding. If the merge comes, I'd rather die a free man than live a slave to a psychotic manchild.
5613749
You gonna continue these? Also, have there been any new letters?
5626773
I fully intend to, but things are a little busy on my end. Once I've got my newest story finished, I'll get to work on analysing Issues 7 and 8...so not looking forward to 8...
5626833
None of us are, but it must be done...
5626904
The analysis of Issue 7 will be here on Saturday.