Welp! · 5:00am Jun 3rd, 2021
So the internet reminded me today that because I'm a white, cisgendered, straight, middle-class male, I have absolutely nothing to be proud of this month.
Okay, that's pretty much exactly NOT what the internet reminded me of today. What it reminded me of was that it's Gay Pride Month. And that, honestly, is pretty awesome. I mean, it's kind of expanded to include the entire LGBTQIARFMLPND+ community, but that's cool too because "not straight cis" is pretty inclusive but also pretty put upon, still. I'm also pretty sure there aren't that many letters in the acronym, but more keep getting added every time I look away and I don't want to get left behind.
So, anyways, I started off with the 'nothing to be proud of' joke because intentionally misinterpreting things makes me chuckle (as long as I'm the one doing it, of course). However, it is not funny and that makes me both sad and upset. It's not funny because there are SO MANY people who interpret minority pride just that way with the singular intent of discrediting them. So here's some thoughts on pride.
Do you know what the Stonewall Riots are? No? GO LOOK IT UP!!! Read the ENTIRE page and try to assimilate just what everything means.
Now, do you know what the Stonewall Riots are? Yes? Awesome. Do you know when it happened? That's right. This month in 1969. Do you know what else happened in 1969? We put a man on the moon. The same year we "won" the Space Race our police forces were still violently assaulting people just because of their orientation. That was only 52 years ago. Your parents were not only alive at the time, they were old enough to be active participants.
So what does all this mean? It means that there are people alive today who remember being a non-person. It isn't just some bit of historical trivia, it was a very real, very dangerous part of their lives for a VERY long time. That kind of damage runs deep. People who have never been abused really don't understand just how obscenely difficult it is to break out from that abuse. It gnaws at you. It constantly tries to drag you back in. And when you do fight to free yourself? That's when everybody who doesn't recognize your struggle stands up and says 'Go away'. That's when your abusers stand up and fight to put you back under their influence.
Pride month (and Black History month, and all the other minority recognition times) isn't about putting others below you. It is about refusing to be ashamed of yourself. It is a very real struggle for many people. Again, this is only 52 years ago. The Stonewall Riots were a rallying cry, but that doesn't mean the problem just magically went away. How many times have you heard some variation of "Why do they have to do that here?" How many times have you seen children disowned by their families? How many times have oppressive pieces of legislation come up? Even today, with all the progress we've made, the LGBTQ+ community is still under active assault. We have Pride month because there is a very real ongoing struggle and having the self worth to stand up and simply say "I exist" to the world is a very fundamental part of that.
There is no 'Straight Cis Pride' month precisely because there is no struggle. We are accepted. We are normalized. There is no fight to exist in society or with families. We don't live in fear of persecution.
So be proud of those who fight to exist, of those who fight to be accepted. And when you find someone pushing them down, be proud enough to tell them you are ashamed. Because, even if you are not personally oppressed, you should be proud to fight for those who are.
Solidarity. I'm somewhere between heteroflexible and pansexual, but as a cis white guy who is still more attracted to women/femmes who lives in fairly liberal Los angeles, for all practical purposes I consider myself an ally since I haven't really faced any discrimination for being sort of gay.