My Top Twenty SpongeBob Episodes (#10 through 1) · 3:32am May 8th, 2021
And we are on to part two of this countdown.
As before, the full write-up of these episodes may be found on my DeviantArt account.
Number 10: Sandy, SpongeBob and the Worm
One night, the peace in Bikini Bottom is broken as something utterly gigantic and terrifying to the citizens comes through, and eats everything in its path. The townsfolk meet in a panic at the Krusty Krab the next morning, as SpongeBob frantically tells them that the cause of the destruction is an
ALASKAN BULL WORM!!!
Terrified, everyone wonders what on earth they can do to protect themselves. Eventually Sandy steps forth, volunteering to go and fight the worm, as she's not afraid of it - and besides, the worm also took her tail, so it's *personal* for the Texas critter! However, SpongeBob is horrified by the idea, and frantically tries to dissuade Sandy every step of the way to the worm's lair... and he turns out to be entirely (hilariously) correct, as the worm that Sandy initially finds and beats up turns out to just be the tongue of the real deal. Cue one sponge and squirrel running for their lives from one gargantuan, very ticked-off annelid.
All while the citizens decide to go with Patrick's suggestion for saving the town: literally pushing it someplace else.
"Sandy SpongeBob and the Worm" is by no means a deep or heartwarming episode, but it's a great one just because of its rapid-fire comedy. The jokes begin pretty much right out the gate, with everything from the worm's nighttime rampage to the final chase providing all manner of funny gags and dialogue. The Krusty Krab scene in particular is a highlight, with almost all of the main cast getting a great comedic moment of some kind: be it SpongeBob's over-the-top description of the worm, to Patrick's "We should take Bikini Bottom, and push it somewhere else!!" And Squidward's own response to that is comedy gold as well. XD
(Although really, Mr. Krabs gets the crowner in terms of funniest part of that scene. 
)
The very idea of this episode is completely surreal, and yet that just makes it all the funnier, especially as, in spite of the sheer weirdness of the idea of a gigantic worm from Alaska, the concept drives a good episode for Sandy in her determination to take on this beast. I wouldn't really say that there's a serious lesson in this episode about "listening to your friends" or "knowing when to set your limits," but its story does offer some great interactions between Sandy and SpongeBob - an occurrence that sadly became rarer and rarer in subsequent seasons of the show, which makes this episode shine all the brighter in my opinion.
Personal Favorite Quote: Mr. Krabs' complete and utter meltdown at the very idea of paying for something.
"NOOO! You'll never get a cent out of me! NEVER!! I'd rather that worm come in here RIGHT NOW, and eat you all ALIIIIVE!!!" *foams at the mouth, hyperventilating* *notices everyone staring in gobsmacked confusion* "Uh, hehe. Sorry."
Gets me every single time 
Number 9: Graveyard Shift
It's closing time at the Krusty Krab, and Squidward is ecstatic over finally getting to go home - until a customer demands service in spite of the restaurant being closed, which leads Mr. Krabs to realize that he can make even more money by staying open later. To that end, the boss immediately declares the Krusty Krab open 24 hours a day... to SpongeBob's utmost delight.
Rapidly driven to the edge of his patience with SpongeBob's sheer enthusiasm for doing work - "At night!" - Squidward decides to have some fun at the little yellow guy's expense, and tells him a scary story about the ghost of a former fry-cook, "the Hash-Slinging Slasher," who comes to the Krusty Krab at night in search of new victims. But eventually, it begins to look like Squidward's made-up story might actually be true, as all sorts of odd occurrences from his story *really* start to happen, and soon the Krusty Krab employees are cowering in terror.
"Graveyard Shift" is another episode that really runs with the jokes. From the opening gag of closing time at the Krusty Krab and Squidward's enthusiasm, it's off to the races on the comedy front, as the gags start flying (literally in one incident, when Mr. Krabs overhears the word "money" and immediately crashes down on top of poor Squidward!) and don't let up. The story of the "Hash-Slinging Slasher" is a particular delight, due to both Squidward's melodramatic delivery of what is clearly a BS ghost story made up on the spot... and then all the sight gags of SpongeBob's horrified/on-the-edge-of-his-seat reactions to what he's being told. In particular, the gag about cutting off one's hand by mistake. 
"Graveyard Shift" is also a surprisingly minimalist episode for the show, as apart from the customer at the beginning and Mr. Krabs declaring the restaurant open 24-hours, pretty much everything else in this episode comes from SpongeBob and Squidward. And yet despite (or because of) that, the episode is all the funnier, as it really just lets the two voice actors go to town with their performances and let the characters bounce off of each other in the most fun ways. Add to it all a twist ending that is pure WTF, and you have one of my personal favorite Squidward episodes of the whole show.
Personal Favorite Quote: Squidward demands to know who'd ever want a Krabby Patty at three in the morning. Patrick has his answer. "Oh boy, three A.M.!"
Number 8: Snowball Effect
An iceberg drifting into the tropical waters above Bikini Bottom leads to an underwater change in climate, and snow soon blankets the town. SpongeBob and Patrick immediately rush out to enjoy the snow and soon get into a snowball fight. Squidward, initially content to just stay inside and relax, ends up drawn into the shenanigans outside his house. At first fed up with the idea of the snowball fight, he then later tries to spin it to his own entertainment... however each time he just ends up getting a snowball in the face.
"The Snowball Effect" is a fun episode in large part due to the way it's able to wring so much comedy out of the simplest of gimmicks, in this case just a snow day. It's telling that even before we get to the first snowball thrown in the episode, we already witness much visual comedy out of the snow-blanketed Bikini Bottom and the way its inhabitants deal with the weather. (Plankton's cameo is a real highlight.) The snowball fight also offers some fun in the way that the characters of SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward all play off of each other: it's funny to see Patrick fail to even sculpt a freaking snowball, then it's cute that SpongeBob helpfully makes one for him, and then Patrick promptly hits him with it and it's hysterical. 
And as for Squidward, this episode puts him in a role a bit like in "Naughty Nautical Neighbors" where he tries to cause trouble for SpongeBob and Patrick for his own amusement; only this time, instead of succeeding, his efforts pretty much *immediately* blow up in his face, and his refusal to stop just keeps bringing down further aggravation for himself. It's almost Looney Tunes-esque, honestly, a kind of mix of Wile E. Coyote plus Daffy Duck trying to upstage Bugs Bunny, and I love it for that.
Personal Favorite Quote: The entire "Pretend I'm SpongeBob" exchange. From SpongeBob asking if he can be Mr. Krabs ("he's a good leader") to Patrick hitting Squidward in the face with a snowball, it's a hoot.
Squidward: "Patrick, why didn't you hit SpongeBob?"
Patrick: "You said you were SpongeBob, SpongeBob."
SpongeBob: "Argh, it's true Mr. Squidward, now get back to work!"
Number 7: The Nasty Patty
A health inspector arrives at the Krusty Krab, and Mr. Krabs is terrified by the possibility of not passing the inspection. He and SpongeBob do everything in their power to charm him, plying the guy with the best cooking that they can, tending to every whim that they can think of...
...And then they hear a news broadcast about a guy pretending to be a health inspector so as to get free food.
Mr. Krabs, enraged and believing that their guy is the impostor, begins to plot a way to get some payback. Since their guest just asked for a plain Krabby Patty, Mr. Krabs (and SpongeBob) doctor a Krabby Patty with all sorts of disgusting methods until they come up with the most outrageously disgusting, gross, foul sandwich ever devised on land or under the sea. The titular "Nasty Patty."
Fortunately, before their mark can take a bite, he swallows a passing fly (somehow XD) and passes out. And then, after another coincidental broadcast has them realize that the health inspector was the real deal, Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob now think that they've committed murder - which Krabs plans to cover up by any means necessary. It's off to get rid of the body, but it's a task that proves near-impossible for the duo... and then a pair of police officers get involved too...
"The Nasty Patty" is a masterpiece of dark comedy. You'd never expect SpongeBob SquarePants to do an episode that's basically all about covering up a murder, but there you go. Honestly, the sheer audacity of the premise is probably a big reason why the episode is so funny, as it just takes the premise and gallops with it for all it's worth. Mr. Krabs' willingness to do anything to cover up the foul deed manages to be outrageous and yet hysterically funny too. "Listen here you little barnacle," he orders SpongeBob at one point, "no one, and I mean no one, can ever find out about this! It'll be the end of you, it'll be the end of me, and worst of all, it'll be the end of me!" Some might complain that this is going too far to make him likable, but honestly, Mr. Krabs suffers so much stress in trying to carry out this scheme, that I'm of the opinion that you can still laugh at all the times he freaks out or fears getting caught and going to jail without much worry. XD
SpongeBob's guilt and terror about this whole situation is also incredibly funny, as he is 1) so consumed by fear that he can't act at all natural in front of the police, and 2) too clueless to get most of Mr. Krabs' coded instructions about what to do next, adding to his boss' own terror as the little yellow guy nearly blows their cover quite a few times. Adding to the hilarity, of course, is the fact that the health inspector is just unconscious, and keeps waking up (and getting knocked out) at the most inopportune/funny moments.
Stylistically, "The Nasty Patty" is a unique episode, due to the various riffs on a film noir aesthetic once the "cover up the murder" plot begins in earnest. The latter half of the episode takes place at night, there's a spooky old cemetery, it's raining, the police are about, the Krusty Krab sign is lit up in neon... like the first Plankton episode, "Nasty Patty" has more of an edge to it, without losing any of the comedic brilliance that made up the best of the classic SpongeBob episodes.
Personal Favorite Quote: This moment when Mr. Krabs' utter desperation and terror at getting caught manages to override his usual greed.
"Oh! Look I almost forgot, it's Open Cash Register Night! First two customers get all the money in the cash register!!"
Seriously, when Eugene Krabs is so scared that he's offering you all the money he has on hand... THAT is when you know he's desperate.
Number 6: Shanghaied
SpongeBob's breakfast is rudely interrupted by a giant anchor crashing through his roof. Then it smashes into Squidward's roof, and soon the trio of SpongeBob, Squidward and Patrick are off to find out what the cause of the destruction is.
It turns out that the infamous pirate ghost The Flying Dutchman (voiced by guest-star Brian Doyle Murray) has decided to come to town, and he - going by the rulebook of ghost pirates - decides to make the three of them members of his ghostly crew. Well, two of them, anyway, as the Dutchman loses patience with Squidward and chucks him into a hellish void, leaving SpongeBob and Patrick left.
It's the worst decision that the flying ghost could have made, as the two goofballs proceed to drive him utterly mad and screw up every single attempt he makes to scare the people of Bikini Bottom. This section of the episode is riotously funny, especially the running gag of the Dutchman's ship getting shredded each time Patrick steers it; eventually the Dutchman can only just sit in disgust as bits of rubble fly past him, all while SpongeBob cheerfully calls out "You're good! You're good!"
Finally reaching the edge of his patience, the Dutchman decides to make SpongeBob and Patrick into his dinner. The sponge and starfish naturally try to escape, and soon it becomes a hilarious standoff with the Dutchman, as they (plus Squidward once again) end up having to think of a way out of their situation that won't end with them becoming supper.
"Shanghaied" is another exercise in sheer absurd humor. Aside from everything to do with the pirate ghost and his ship, there's also such wonderfully bizarre gags as the Dutchman's weakness being his beloved "eating sock" (itself a call-back to a gag from a season two episode) and then there's everything to do with SpongeBob and Patrick's desperate run through the horror of...
The Perfume Department.
(Trust me, words cannot do it justice.)
Like "The Snowball Effect," this episode makes for another fun outing with the trio of SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward. The addition of the Flying Dutchman makes for a nice wrinkle, especially in the way that the ghost - initially terrifying to his captives - soon becomes hilariously outmatched by the sheer ineptness of SpongeBob and Patrick, driving him to his wits' end. It also has a healthy amount of pitch-black comedy in it, in particular with Squidward's misfortunes; everything from getting zapped repeatedly, to being thrown into a nightmarish hell-dimension, practically guaranteed to provide some kind of sadistic chuckle from an audience.
On a final note, just for the sake of trivia, apparently this episode had three endings made for it. Only one of them went to air, but I've seen the clips for the other two, and they're also quite twistedly funny. Maybe not as good as what *did* make it to air, but they're good for a laugh all the same.
Personal Favorite Quote: A tie between "You're good, you're good!" and this exchange...
Dutchman: "Listen, uh, this whole 'crew for eternity' thing isn't working out the way I thought it would. It's not so much you, as it is me..."
SpongeBob: "You're setting us free?"
Dutchman: "Well actually, I'm just gonna eat ya. See you at dinner!"
Number 5: Squid's Day Off
It's Sunday in Bikini Bottom and Squidward is miserable because he's stuck at work. Even if no one ever comes to the Krusty Krab on Sundays, Mr. Krabs keeps the employees there anyway. Then, an outrageous accident with the cash register (no spoilers for anyone who *hasn't* yet seen it ) lands Mr. Krabs in the hospital - and as he's taken away, Krabs puts Squidward in charge of things while he's gone.
Taking the opportunity for all that it's worth, Squidward promptly uses his position to "promote" SpongeBob by giving him the duty of running the cash register, as well as cooking the orders too. The sneaky cephalopod then says that he has some "very important errands" to run, and walks off confident that he'll get to enjoy his newfound freedom... at least, until Squidward's imagination begins to screw with him, making him imagine EVERY possible thing that could go wrong with SpongeBob alone at the restaurant.
Squidward keeps rushing back to check and make sure that SpongeBob's not getting up to any trouble - and is unwilling to admit that the "errands" he was running are nothing at all. It swiftly becomes a (hilarious) vicious cycle of Squidward *trying* to enjoy the free time he's taken for himself, but then getting worked up over the latest insane fantasy, hauling it back to the Krusty Krab just to hear, everybody say it with me now--
"Have you finished those errands?"
Each and every time, but the episode keeps throwing out new twists or escalations of the buildup, that it just becomes funnier and funnier. Squidward's imaginings *start* with SpongeBob stupidly giving away money to Patrick, and ultimately reach a point where he imagines SpongeBob setting the restaurant on fire or saying "I will destroy the Krusty Krab!" The bulk of the episode consists of Squidward freaking out and running to the Krusty Krab just to hear "Are you finished with those errands?" but the buildup just keeps getting more extreme, which in turn makes the repetition of the punchline all the funnier.
Roger Bumpass seriously deserves an award for his voice-work in this episode, as he hilariously delivers the performance of Squidward getting more and more hysterical, angry and paranoid, until finally it culminates with an utterly insane finale where a naked Squidward charges back to the restaurant and rants madly to SpongeBob about all the ways he KNOWS the fry cook was spying on him. (Serious props to the animators too, by the way, for all the demented expressions that Squidward makes during this protracted breakdown.)
Though let's not discount the other actors here - several of the cast get some great material, especially Mr. Krabs in the short amount of screentime he gets. "I can think of ten good reasons to never let go of a dime, boy."
While it might be easy to say that this really is Squidward's episode, let's not discount SpongeBob himself from his role in this one. The little yellow cube with holes is often naïve, sometimes to the point of frustration, but here Tom Kenny brings it to an art form - SpongeBob is completely unsuspecting of Squidward's duplicity, and each and every "Are you finished with those errands?" is totally sincere, which of course just drives Squidward even crazier. It manages to be both laugh-out-loud funny (how rare is it that SpongeBob actually gets to be the straight man, huh?)and also quite endearing; he just trusts Squidward that much!
"Squid's Day Off" is one of my dad's personal favorite episodes, and I definitely think it deserves a place near the very top.
Personal Favorite Quote: God it's hard to choose, there's just so many. If I had to pick just one, it'd probably be this exchange when Squidward has really lost it and is running to the Krusty Krab.
Squidward: "The truth will be revealed!!"
Patrick: "Whoohoo, right on Squidward!"
So out of left-field and so hilarious. XD
Number 4: Krusty Krab Training Video
SpongeBob appears in a training video for new employees at the Krusty Krab. Said video goes over the history of the restaurant, goes over the employees' duties and expectations, talks about what to do when Plankton attacks, and so on. SpongeBob asks again and again when he can make a Krabby Patty, while Squidward lazes around, and the narrator (Steve Kehela for anyone who cares) cheerfully talks up the positives of the Krusty Krab despite all the madness plain to see before us.
"Krusty Krab Training Video" is perhaps one of the THE most quotable episodes in the entire show. Everything about this episode, from the overly energetic tone of the video (the transition scenes are a hoot, thanks to all the angles that they shoot from) to the narrator's tone as he talks to the characters or the audience, to the SpongeBob cast themselves, there's a ton of top-notch absurd comedy in this episode. In large part that has to do with the way that the episode manages to make sure its major players: SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs, Squidward, Patrick and Plankton - all get a moment in the spotlight. The story of Mr. Krabs' past and his founding of the Krusty Krab restaurant is hilarious in how cliched it is (Mr. Krabs being a war veteran who was depressed until he turned himself around and became a successful businessman? Sure!), and then you have the episode's running gag of the narrator comparing SpongeBob and Squidward as the good and "not-so-good" employees. 
"There's a name for employess like this... but we'll call him 'Squidward'."
The episode actually builds a lot of jokes out of recurring gags. SpongeBob keeps asking the narrator when he can make a Krabby Patty, until finally the narrator just cuts away in mid-question to avoid dealing with it again. Squidward keeps sleeping at work, and gets caught at it in the most inopportune or embarrassing ways. Patrick tries to place an order but is too dumb to keep it in his head, and just drones "Uhhh..." endlessly, driving Squidward to distraction. It's quite impressive to see the way that the writers are able to keep the jokes from feeling stale, or come up with ways to keep the laughs coming.
And then there's Plankton's scene, wherein he tries to escape with a Krabby Patty on metal spider legs. The sheer melodrama of the whole sequence, from SpongeBob's overreaction to Mr. Krabs' non-reaction, plus Mr. Lawrence's scenery-chewing boasting as Plankton, makes for a side-splitting part of an already riotously funny episode. ("I knew I should've gotten the turbo.")
It may not be a deep or heartwarming episode, but in terms of sheer comedy value, it's quite hard to top "Krusty Krab Training Video". It starts with a bang, and keeps the gags coming hard and fast until the literal last second. And for that I applaud it. :D
Personal Favorite Quote: Pretty much everything that's said in the episode, really? Though if I really had to narrow it down, I'd probably choose the punchline of the whole sequence with Patrick and Squidward. It's just too funny to merely write down, go watch the episode!
Number 3: Idiot Box
SpongeBob and Patrick receive a massive package in the mail. It contains a gargantuan television set, much to Squidward's shock... and then irritation, as it turns out that the sponge and starfish only wanted the box so they could play in it.
Why, you might ask? Because SpongeBob and Patrick don't need television. All they need to have fun is -
IMAGINATION!
*rainbows*
Thinking the two of them idiots, Squidward promptly claims the big-screen TV for himself, and then goes inside... at least, until he starts hearing all sorts of things from SpongeBob and Patrick's games - like the sound of a real avalanche when they play "mountain climbing adventure". Or the sounds of a police chase. Or an honest-to-God space launch! But every single time he checks up on them, demanding to know how they're making the noises, SpongeBob just tells him that it's just the power of "IMAGINATION!" Thinking that the two of them are playing him for a fool, Squidward schemes to try and catch them in the act, and figure out the mystery of the box for himself... but is it really just their imaginations all along?
"Idiot Box" is one of my favorite Squidward episodes. It may not have him go as nuts as he does in "Squid's Day Off" but it still offers plenty of hilarious moments for the grouchy cephalopod as he reacts to - and eventually obsesses over - the cardboard box and what secrets it might hold. It's hard to top the sequence where he hears the uncannily-realistic sound of SpongeBob and Patrick caught in an avalanche; his reactions are priceless as Squidward moves from shock, to gradual concern, to nail-biting terror as he hears the events of the game unfold. Props too to Tom Kenny and Bill Fagerbakke for their own delivery of their overwrought and cliched dialogue in SpongeBob and Patrick's game, it just makes the jokes hit even harder. 
But aside from the box itself, the episode also gets lots of mileage out of Squidward's attempts to distract himself from the games outside. He tries watching TV; oh wait, every channel has a show about some kind of box on.
Tying in with all of this comedy is a pretty relevant lesson about having fun and knowing how to use your creativity. SpongeBob and Patrick might be naïve idiots who think a cardboard box is the coolest thing ever, but their willingness to just have fun really does make the box cool for them, as they can imagine all sorts of games to play. Squidward in comparison, who is much lazier about his entertainment, and was willing to just sit and watch TV, can't understand that "imagination" means having to put in the necessary effort; he just wants the box to "turn on" and basically do all the work for him. In this age where everything is more and more brought to us by screens and electronic gadgets, it feels pretty meaningful to look back on this episode and see SpongeBob and Patrick able to have the time of their lives without the use of (or need for) anything mechanical.
Personal Favorite Quote: Squidward's suspicions about his neighbors' box leads him to think that SpongeBob and Patrick are just playing a tape recorder with various sound effects. In this little fantasy of his, SpongeBob then adds, "Squidward's such a jerk." *giggles like an idiot*
Number 2: Band Geeks
While practicing with his clarinet, Squidward gets a call from his old high school band-class rival, the rich and successful snob Squilliam Fancyson. Squilliam gloats about being the owner of a big fancy marching band, and how they're going to be playing at The Bubble Bowl next week; however, he claims to be busy next week and "asks" Squidward if his band can make it. Incensed and desperate, Squidward angrily takes him up on the dare, promising that he *does* have a band and that they *will* play the Bubble Bowl. And right after hanging up, the frantic squid now rushes to try and put together a somewhat suitable band in the course of a single week before the big show.
...Of course, absolutely nothing goes right. From the very first moment it's utterly clear that this is gonna be a train wreck, for both the band members and their put-upon leader. When the first night alone involves Squidward nearly getting speared by drumsticks, and Patrick kicking Sandy (and getting stuffed into a trombone in retaliation, one of my all-time favorite gags ever from the show), you just know that things are only going to go further downhill for poor Squidward's efforts. The sheer audacity of some of the gags in this episode - chiefly among them the poor flag-twirlers - are outrageously funny in their daring, but at the same time all the laughs to be had are not directly *at* Squidward himself. This is the character at his most sympathetic, as while he's made a dumb decision in setting himself to be humiliated in taking Squilliam's dare, he really is trying his hardest to make the best of this situation. You really do want the poor guy to win, so when his efforts all seem to come to naught when everyone gets into a massive brawl on the last night of rehearsal, and when Squidward walks away in despair at the aftermath, it's a legitimately moving scene.
And then, of course, comes the finale, wherein SpongeBob inspires the civilians of Bikini Bottom to make things right, and come the day of the Bubble Bowl, Squidward is utterly dreading the big performance... which it makes even better when the band gets up on stage, and give the performance of a lifetime. It's one of the most iconic moments in the entire series, and it's easy to see why: the music ("Sweet Victory") is awesome, and Squidward's utterly stunned reaction is both hilarious and wonderfully heartwarming. (And then there's Squilliam's pure and total slack-jawed horror, culminating in him collapsing and having to be hauled away by paramedics. That's karma for you. ) The episode's ending, with a triumphant overjoyed Squidward jumping high in the air as the audience cheers him and the band on, is something beautiful, and it's easy to see why some fans of the show like to consider this episode the grand finale - it's just a perfect moment to close it out on.
"Band Geeks" works so well because, as I said, it manages to have a lot of heart in addition to its humor. You can sympathize with Squidward's frustrations even as it makes you laugh, and then all of his hard work and misery is beautifully paid off as SpongeBob rallies everyone to make his long-suffering neighbor's dream a reality. While this episode is pretty much entirely Squidward's in terms of focus, it cannot be overstated at the volumes that this speaks to SpongeBob's decency that he puts in the effort to get everyone to shape up and try their hardest to make the best show possible.
And in that regard, the little yellow guy really succeeded. 
Personal Favorite Quote: The entire sequence with Patrick getting beaten up by Sandy, culminating in this gem: "Whoever's the owner of the white sedan, you left your lights on." Such a perfect non-sequitur to conclude one of the show's funniest gags on.
Number 1: Sailor Mouth
And here we go, my top pick for the best SpongeBob episode ever.
When taking out the garbage at the Krusty Krab, SpongeBob finds a word he doesn't know written on the side of the dumpster. Patrick tells him that it's a "sentence enhancer," and that using it is a way of talking fancy. The two of them use the word (represented by the sound of a dolphin chirping) and think it's the coolest thing ever.
Then the very next day, SpongeBob goes into work, and uses the word every time he opens his mouth - to the shock and disgust of all the customers. When he cheerfully uses it over the intercom, the customers leave en masse, prompting a horrified Mr. Krabs to demand what's going on. Outraged by what SpongeBob and Patrick have been saying, Mr. Krabs sternly informs them that their new word is a BAD word; specifically, word number eleven on a list of words that you should never ever use.
(Wait, I thought it was seven? ...Only if you're not a sailor. XD)
Ashamed, SpongeBob and Patrick promise to never use the bad word again. Although the very next day, after a string of rotten luck at a board game, SpongeBob loses his temper and uses "bad word number eleven" again. Patrick runs off to tattle on him, and then HE curses, and now SpongeBob's racing to tattle on HIM... It all comes to a head when they both curse in front of Mr. Krabs, and he angrily punishes them by ordering them to paint the entire Krusty Krab...
And then Mr. Krabs stubs his toe on a rock and proceeds to use every single bad word (portrayed by a cavalcade of sound effects, from a car honking to a seal barking). The race to tattle begins all over again, as SpongeBob and Patrick race to tell Mr. Krabs' mom about her son's profanity - and by the time all is said (heh) and done, SpongeBob and Patrick and Krabs are all assigned to paint Mama Krabs' house for their "sailor talk".
Why is this the top pick for me, and not, say, "Band Geeks" which has perhaps the most beloved ending of a SpongeBob episode ever? Well, besides the fact that this episode is hysterically funny, I have to give this one the top spot because really, "Band Geeks" is a Squidward-centric episode and not a SpongeBob one. Yeah, in "Band Geeks" SpongeBob rallies everyone to save Squidward from humiliation, but in the end that episode's story is squarely centered about Squidward Tentacles, not SpongeBob SquarePants. In "Band Geeks," it's Squidward who we follow, who we laugh the most at, who we feel the most sorry for, and who we share that sense of triumph with.
"Sailor Mouth" is entirely an episode about SpongeBob. It's he who finds the bad word and ends up learning the central lesson of the episode. And really, it's a lesson that *is* an important one, and if anything is probably more important than ever in this day and age. Profanity and foul language are rarely, if EVER, truly necessary, and can be offensive, especially in places that those words are really not approved of (like say, in the workplace, or in places where families come).
Of course, the lesson is helped by the fact that this episode is SpongeBob comedy at its finest. The innocence of SpongeBob and Patrick in using their "sentence enhancers" is both endearing and utterly hilarious. Making it even funnier is the fact that, rather than invent some made-up swear, they just use the sound effect for it, which in turn keeps the gag from becoming overwrought; the dolphin chirp lets the viewer fill in whatever they want, and that way it makes the cursing seem both organic, and therefore all the more entertaining. And of course, the reactions in this episode are gut-bustingly funny as well: from the plethora of shocked/appalled responses from the Krusty Krab patrons in the one scene, to SpongeBob and Patrick's various reactions, and finally Mama Krabs herself, there's a LOT of great expressions put to drawing in this episode. Add to that other great gags here and there, be it the opening "take that pile of filth out with ya" exchange, or the game of "Eels and Escalators" that SpongeBob and Patrick play, and you have some other great jokes too.
Personal Favorite Quote: Pretty much Mr. Krabs' entire gibberish-cursing-laden tirade when he stubs his toe on a rock. You just know that Clancy Brown was having a ball recording that entire bit.
...
In conclusion, then, that is my list of my top 20 best SpongeBob episodes. It was a lot of work to pick out the various entries for this list and contextualize them into top five, top ten, and so on, but in the end, I'm fairly happy with the finished product. If there's something on here that wasn't picked, sorry about that, let me know in the comments - odds are it would be an "honorable mention" of mine. :XD:
And, one last time, before we close out...
Thank you for everything, Stephen Hillenburg. Thank you for giving us this show, for all the laughs, the wacky characters and zany plots. Rest in peace, and may your genius never be forgotten. 
Like before, this is a solid list. ^^ Sailor Mouth made me laugh so hard upon first viewing, oh dear lord.
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Thanks! I'm glad to hear it.
Oh yes, Sailor Mouth is definitely one of the greats of the series. Even better when you learn (according to Tom Kenny) that they *really were* cursing in the recording booth. That just makes the sight of SpongeBob, Patrick, and Mr. Krabs dropping those bombs even funnier.
Great list and yeah, I think both of those episodes, Band Geeks and Sailor Mouth are gold in terms of fun but when I first saw the latter I couldn't stop laughing. Every time Spongebob and Patrick open their mouths it's pure hilarity. Especially when they enter the Krusty Krab and they just let loose with it.
"Wow, thirteen."
"That's a lot of *censor* bad words."
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Thanks for saying so!
And yeah, those two episodes really are the tops. It's honestly pretty amazing that the show managed to get away with the whole profanity plot in Sailor Mouth, because really, when you're old enough to know about swearing, it really feels like the characters ARE cursing up a blue streak.
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True. I remember when the episode first aired, everyone in school was talking about it and some of the kids were trying to fill in the blanks. From the rumors I heard of the recording of this episode, everyone in the cast just let loose with actual swearing. Probably sounded like a George Carlin special in the recording room that day. I know a few other shows including Big City Greens has tried an episode like this but they don't have the same magic as this and like you said, they let you fill in the blanks instead of either saying an actual curse or making up a fake swear word.
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Yeah, that's what I've heard about the recording of the episode too. (I'd pay actual money to see that XD) I do think I once shared a video of Tom Kenny talking about it at a convention or something, it was hilarious.
Oh yeah? I've not seen Big City Greens actually, but then again I'm just really behind on most of the recent animated series out there. It's not dislike or anything, just my own inertia.