Apologies and Regrets · 3:23am May 3rd, 2021
Preamble:
This was initially going to be posted as a chapter, to reach the most people, but as I was searching for the way to set my fic to cancelled, I happened across the new rules. Apparently, updates that's aren't specifically chapters aren't allowed anymore, along with a host of rule changes. I didn't even see an allowance to continue stories, so I don't even know if it's possible at this point on the site. Maybe I'm just tired and skimmed over it.
Either way, I bring bad news.
So
It's been a while. Several long years, in fact.
Never thought I would have to use that line.
It is with a heavy heart, and deep regret, that I commit Angel of Gold to grave. I, unfortunately, cannot find the motivation to continue at this point. I was actually planning on doing this in the first place after coming home from town, but on seeing that people still like this story, somehow, i decided to try one last time. So, I reread my own story, reacquainting myself with my characters.
You know, I think I'll miss C Squad the most. Literally spawned from having a need for a random number of guards escorting Celedon, to the top soldiers with backstories that felt...real. I am saddened by the lack of exploration into Snow's even though I can't remember even the vaguest idea of what he was to be. I can barely remember the plot that I had brewing.
I feel weird, writing this. I hate leaving things unfinished, but I have so many unfinished things.
I guess I just need to get this off my chest.
When I started writing this, I was fascinated by the fanfiction I had read. Many books worth I had absorbed, both good and bad. And then I stumbled onto the idea of displacing a character from Earth to a brand new world, with a dramatically altered powerset.
Then I found out that's not even Tuesday for quite a lot of fanficition. Still, the idea, when I rolled up a powerset from a long time ago, stuck with me, and I just couldn't get it out of my head. So, I wrote. I wrote and I wrote and I wrote.
So much so, that I burned myself out. I didn't know the concept of pacing myself. Even now I have troubles with it, wanting stuff now instead of later.
But, even as I try to convince myself not to write this, try to hold on to hope that I can push myself to finish this story, set to be a masterpiece of my own design (in my head), I remember things from my past that I would rather forget. Unfortunately, the concept of ponies and bronies was tied very closely to a dear friend of mine, and we both enjoyed it immensely. But, an event that I will not go into here, or ever (if I can help it), happened. It drove us apart, and with that person being into ponies more than I, I constantly am reminded of the past when I see a true pony.
I guess I'm just waffling on, trying to excuse myself, or something else.
Maybe I'm still depressed. Maybe I'm trying to garner sympathy for "poor Magna, he had a bad life and needs to be told he made something good."
Just typing that made me disgusted at myself.
Officially, after I saw that my fic had been committed to the dead/cancelled fic revival project group, I started seriously thinking that I might need to pass this on.
I want to see this fic finished. But I don't know if I can finish it, not by myself. Actually, I know I can't, my attempt at a continuation result in Discord shenanigans in order to arrive at the Mer Kingdom immediately. It would make sense, from a Discord standpoint, but I feel like it's a cop-out.
I guess this is my official permission to continue my work.
However, as a "final request," I would ask that you contact me personally, so I can give you the fragments of a plot that I had (Discord: Magna85#7916). There was a vision for this story to go to...
I guess that's it from me...unless I somehow get a surge of motivation. I won't say I'll never finish it on my own terms, as there's always a chance at some point in my lifetime...
But for now, the Angel of Gold had fallen.
Sad times, but that's life.
Thank you for at least being honest with us and not vanishing into the wind for no reason.