Just A Little Something I Wrote

I don't want to go into much detail but I had a conversation with two Christian women today and it got a little controversial. Nothing close to us arguing. It was a mature discussion. But it was weird for me because they clearly do not believe my thought process with my belief in God and though they were nice about it, it was very clear that they were trying to get me to change my thinking. They had good intentions but it was severely degrading. So while feeling like a piece of shit, this little piece came to mind and I just wrote it:

I don't think God cares who you fall in love with. 
I don't think she cares if those people have kids. 
I don't think he had control of our life as they make it seems
Because he lets us choose on our own and live openly free

I can't do this and I can't think that.
This movie questioned the afterlife so it must be bad.
 If I dare to question God then I just don't understand.
 I say I couldn’t choose to be straight but yet they say I can.

I didn't expect him to prevent my mother's death.
Nor help my brother with his depression. 
I just believe things happen because he idly sits by 
because he shouldn't make miracles happen in life 
because he will only be criticized when it turns to pain and strife. 

So instead he's fine with being our guide to eternal life

This why these people don't care what I think. 
Because I believe the things that I shouldn't believe. 
But I have accepted my life with all of my sins.
I have long since accepted that I'm a bad Christian. 
But I'm happy with the relationship that I got 
cuz the best is the one that I have with him.

I question him and his people every day. 
Also, I don't expect problems to go away with a pray.
The Bible is complicated so they say.
For me, it's the interpretations of his people that they made.

Walking in snow feeling alone.
Trying to pray to God but he’s too busy sleeping at home.
Not that excepted his help like everyone dose
But I hope one day to at least feel his love

It’s funny how they say that it’s so easy.
They say get down and bow and pray.
I get down on my knees and pray for the pain to go away.
I open up my eyes but I still feel the same.

I never blame God or Satan for the pain that I always felt. 
I blame the people that hurt me and the things that I did to myself. 
And when I stepped in and forget the pain,
I made my life happen rather than wait.
I still believe God was with me and he did give me strength. 
But I only made it further when I didn't expect him to help me make a change.

This is why I can't talk to them because they will never understand me. 
And I know they will never agree with the way that I think. 
I don't depend on God like they say he depends on me.
I don't mind listening to other people who don't believe. 
I also don't mind believing in science and vaccines.  
I know I'm not perfect and I'm just a disappointment.
And I will always be known for being a bad Christian. 

But I'm grateful for the things that have happened and the lessons I have learned. 
And the people I have met and for the things that I got that I didn't deserve.
I'm fine with not being perfect and being a bad Christian.

For the best relationship that I have is the one I have with him. 

Comments

[Summer Script]

First of all, that's a cool poem! You did a really good job.

Secondly, don't let those women get to ya. There is a very clear difference between presenting someone with a valid argument and trying to force one's opinion onto them. And from the sound of things, those two were very much the latter.

Believe whatever you choose to believe, and if they don't like it and judge you for it? Eh. That's their problem and their mistake. Besides, if they genuinely cared about upholding all of the values of Christianity, then they wouldn't be so noticeably judgmental toward you whatsoever, but rather understanding, accepting, and compassionate. So the fact that they weren't...? It says a lot.

[PropsValroa]

Believe whatever you want to believe! I loved that poem there, great job!