Everything wrong with No magic flies · 3:50pm Apr 17th, 2021
Wind. That’s the only thing the lone Wonderbolt could feel.
You can feel more than wind! You can feel coolth, warmth, etc!
Sins: 1
She continued flying until she found a nice cloud to rest on. She landed on the soft, bouncy cloud
clouds aren’t bouncy!
Sins: 2
“Oh crap…” she said looking at her contrail. She knew that down below, her rainbow was spotted. She needed to hurry up, and recharge stamina. “Come on Dash, you can do it.”
You didn’t tell me it was rainbow dash!
Sin: 3
Sins: 50
Sentence:
Magic Dash AAAAAAAA
Wtf
I don’t get it
...Are you even trying?
First of all: the fact that Rainbow could only feel wind is meant to represent how she's alone
Second of all: if clouds aren't bouncy, then how do the pegasi bounce on them to make rain? Exhibit A:
At the 0:33 mark
Third of all: He held off on telling the reader who it was to build suspense.
Fourth: how did you go from 3 sins to 50?
Not only can you not find proper “sins” in a story, but you can’t even count? For shame.
Oooh, do one of my stories.
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Because I can
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I don't like applesauce though...
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Stop it!
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But...I...didn't...
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*Vomits* blech! SUNNY!
The blog didn’t save the rest of it
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*Whimpering* I don't want to!
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O.o
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O.o
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*Whimpers*
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Hmph
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*Downs it in one gulp*
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Gak-eww!
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*Shoves away and storms off*
Why is this so short?? Plus most of these sins make no sense-
also come on anyone could of know that was Rainbow Dash.
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It didn’t save the rest of the sins
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Do one of my stories, pwease
Wow, you just humiliate yourself dear author. Those sentences have nothing wrong about it.
???
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That's weird
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Sunny and I have history
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