Maybe I should make a comeback...? Was it a mistake to leave?

I've been hitting a barrier all the time when I think of writing anything, literally anything.

I'm so sick of always having that fear of ridicule be there, that pain in the ass no-self-worth or point to it. After not writing anything for a while, I'm starting to have those feeling I had when I first began, those that made me truly care about what I wrote and the characters I created. It would be nice to do it again.

I'm sincerely thinking about giving it another go. Only problem is I don't know exactly what to write. Not knowing how to put the words together to from something worthy of reading instead of skimming over is my biggest problem. I want it to mean something at the very least.

*Sigh* It's always got to be when you think you're done but you're denying yourself the fact that you're most certainly not. I don't feel done nor accomplished as of yet. And I want that mood to change.

I seriously don't care about the negative comments. I couldn't give two fucks. All I want to do is write because it's what I'm good at, what I'm comfortable doing in my own way, what I want to do for myself and for me alone. I don't write specifically or especially for anybody else in particular, I am simply writing my own world inside my head and opening the door for you to step inside.

The whole point of fiction is to be open to interpretation, to pass on a judgement, come up with your own conspiracies and speculation. It's fun watching what people come up with, but that doesn't make it true. Only the author knows exactly what is what in their own little world. That's the fun of it. It's art.

I want to be a part of it again. It's all I've been good at.

I'm not sure if I have any readers waiting for me to make more content, and I say 'readers' instead of 'fans' because I've never exactly liked that word nor deemed it appropriate/worthy in the sense of what I do. It's the same on my YT; I deny that standard following rule. Celebrities have fans. Models have admirers. Movies have viewers. Artists have theorists. Media has consumers. Authors have readers. That's how it sits in my head. I'd prefer it to stay that way. For a lot of reasons.

If you are indeed sitting there wanting/waiting for more stories from me, by all means, let me know. I don't expect that many people - or anybody - to really miss me or care about my absence here. This is only me putting out there what all this time not writing and staying mostly away from my page and my account has set my mind. Change my mind, and we'll see.

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- FireRain 💛

Comments

[Whinifree]

It’s totally up to you what you do really.

[Gyro Pony]

I enjoy read what people write.
And your stories were interesting enough for me to hit the Follow button under your name (that must have been years ago...)

Also, your part about fiction being interpretative seemed spot-on. including what must go on inside the reader's head (even if we may not always realise it).

I hear you love dogs. Especially their smell.
Mmm, smelly dog. Maybe release a series of canine fics - the Adventures of Winona.

[DracoBlair]

You know I do :)