Roast Celestia

Roast Celestia in any way possible. (Appearance, personality, past fails, meta jokes, etc.)

The Host
Luna

The Roasters
Twilight
Cadance
Starlight

Get creative, get HARSH, she can handle it! Keep it PG-13

Comments

[Marshmallow Pone]

You're too chicken to face a chicken.

[LightningStrike34]

Cake Flank! Cake Flank!

[AnnEldest]

Luna was always better than you

[Darkwing Dust]

Her Uselestia! How's the weather up there? Thrilled to let your student pawn and her friends do all the work? I've seen wooden planks contribute more to society.

[MrAnonn]

rainbow cake pony

uhhh... thats all i have?

[Eris Dis Harmonia]

The only way I could stand to listen to you for more than five seconds was to be stoned. At least you stuffing your face spared my ears... while the cake lasted.

[Snow Frostfang]

Most common.
Sun butt

[MlpHero]

You’d be a worse parent than Britney Spears

[Necrogen Lord]

Tommy Wiseau wants his acting talent back.

[Th3M4nW1thN0N4m3]

Sunset Shimmer is your example of "if at first you don't succeed, try again."

[BezierBallad]

You’re being used as a template for all the Mary Sues out there.

[Flora Blossom]

"Hey, Princess Celestia I will become the new luna as my name has been feared through time itself. It is I Princess Starlight!!!!!!"

[Unknown Ficwriter]

Your multicolored mane and tail is a petty attempt to outshine Luna.

[Angel Midnight]

*clears throat*

1. You are portrayed as a Mary Sue / goddess for much of FiM and aren't relatable at all
2. You're used as a template for the really terrible Mary Sues
3. You are Sunbutt
4. I thought princesses had manners, but you think it's fine to stuff your face with cake on screen
5. Look out, it's a chicken!
6. You sent your sister to the moon for 1000 years and she was almost completely wiped from history
7. Your Royal Guard is useless
8. You got your flank kicked by various villains on multiple occasions
9. Your mentor has a terrible temper, which I think he passed on to you
10. You mollycoddle your subjects
11. Can't do something? Ask Twilight to do it for you! That's your mentality, and it's nearly killed her dozens of times. And you also allowed Twilight to do this to Spike. Poor Spikey-Wikey.
12. Why is Blueblood a prince?
13. In the season 2 finale, you failed to notice your adopted niece was a changeling, didn't trust Twilight and because of it you had to fight Chryssie, who managed to beat you easily
14. Your acting skills are a joke
15. Did you actually have a plan for defeating King Sombra in case Twilight failed to save the Crystal Empire?
16. You never asked Twilight if she wanted to be a princess and rule Equestria.
17. You allowed Sunset Shimmer to escape to the human world, return to steal Twilight's crown, and let Twilight just waltz into this whole other world without her friends, which means she didn't have the Elements of Harmony.
18. That wouldn't have been a problem if you had taught Sunset properly
19. You allowed Starlight to found her little village of no cutie marks
20. After Starlight's secret was exposed, I don't remember any kind of nationwide search to find and arrest her
21. Yet you put Cozy Glow in Tartarus without sending her to a psychologist to find out why she did what she did
22. Talking of Tartarus, you don't take very good care of your doggy Cerberus
23. And you have little to no respect for Luna's job or how she likes to spend her free time, which is probably part of why she became NMM in the first place.
24. And did you know that Twilight would be able to find the magic of friendship in time to stop NMM from bringing about eternal night?
25. Also, where were you? I doubt you were captured. When you reappeared, it looked like you had teleported.

That's all I can think of for the moment, but you can probably tell that I have a lot to say to Sunbutt.

[Kit Wolfkat]

You banished your own sister yet for a thousand years you kept it nothing more than a old story for foals.

I sometime question your competence in solving easily solvable problems.

After the elements turned Discord back to stone, you decided it would be a great idea to release him and have him reformed under The Mane 6 without performing any kind of supervision.

You let your guard down during your niece's wedding and when Twilight tries to warn you prematurely, you decided to outright denounce her instead of investigating it further.

You didn't give Twilight her consent of being a Princess and the probable cause of being "blessed" with immortality.

Every major problems Equestria has, you send in your student and her friends to do it. Its like sending a sheep to graze near a wolf den without trying to find the best possible solution.

For the Crystal Empire, you have your niece took over it instead of trying to talk to the public or have a referendum to either consolidate the country or leave it free.

Royal Guards are using spears and bows even though its been 1000 YEARS. Also where is the actual military?
Are there only the Royal Guards that is to specifically to protect the Royal Family.

Who's Blueblood? Prince of what exactly?

Having subjected to Harmony, Equestrians haven't had a decent inkling to protect themselves and they can only rely on you and the Mane 6 who you most commonly use.

You never attempted to deal with monsters that live in the Everfree forest and also let anyone or anything enter in or out the forest. No restrictions. Just pure freedom. And also probable causes of missing Equestrians.

You look more like a figurehead than an actual leader.

You tend to appease your subjects just so you could turn their heads towards you.

You are so powerful yet you are so weak l. Not including the other princesses here, you kept getting beaten over and over as if you don't know how to actually maximize it.
(Though that probably've been for the best.)

And last but not least,
Chicken. And good representation of Cowardice.
Huzzah.

[DovahkiinMaster]

Could you please go back to the Everfree? Nopony needs you here, considering we needed civilians to solve every problem. You can't be diplomatic unless you overthrow the government, so don't try negotiating either. Either get off your flank end educate your supposed nobles, or keep growing it in the castle that you let your sister get to the point that you had to banish her.

[Brony Novice]

Youre weaker than spongebob.

[Avatar Sprite]

I thought roasts were comedy things, even when true. Stuff like.

"Ponies notice when you enter a room... Then sigh in relief when you leave it"

[Lunas prince]

luna is more beautiful than you

[Horseus King of Horses]

Is it too late to make a roast?

[Dimitri2278]

Oh, I've been waiting for this moment for a long time Celestia!

If you were to face any competent villains, you would surely lose!

You are an enemy to *puts on William Wallace's voice* OUR FREEEEEEEEEDOM!!!!!!!!!!

Equestria has little to no means of protecting itself. Thanks in large part due to your over-reliance on the elements of Harmony.

Equestrian tech and philosophy are stagnant because of you!

You have lied to your own people!

You have no freedom of religion or speech!

And, you have likely erased all mention of any who opposed you!

[Arcanum -Phantasy]

Cadence: "So, what horrible otherworldly threat from a thousand years ago that you and your sister managed to defeat is scheduled to show up in the next couple of years? Also, now that Twilight's taking over for you and your sister, do you think the guards will be able to actually do their jobs now instead of sending six civilians with no military experience against them?"

[Blackraven]

a dress maker
a book worm
a farmer
a party thrower
a animal care taker
and a mare with a rainbow for a mane can protect a empire better then you